#archeron!reader

🤍🤍🐱🤍🤍

Your week passed with no major events- a blessing as your cycle had hit you on Tuesday, and hard. Mor had been with you Sunday night through Monday afternoon, a lazy day passed with the two of you getting M’aiq used to Mor.

Now, she was willing to play with Mor’s fingers, and had even laid on top of her while you’d been in the bathroom, soaking in the tub to lessen the pain in your abdomen.

Your work week had trickled by, slowed by the pains and discomfort of your cycle, along with your anticipation to see Azriel tonight. As promised, you’d sent him a letter Sunday morning, which was reciprocated with one from him in the afternoon. You loved reading the details of Azriel’s life, hearing about the things that reminded him of you. All week, you’d sent letters back and forth each day, the highlight of each of them besides M’aiq’s entire presence.

You only wished your body would cooperate and let you get to work, but you were still stuck in front of the bathroom counter, hands clutching cool stone as another cramp rippled through you. M’aiq was circling your feet, meowing in that delightfully scratchy voice of hers, glowing green eyes looking concerned.

“I’m fine, baby, I’ll be okay. I just… need to get one of the pain tonics Mor brought for me,” you whispered to her, voice laced with pain. You managed to stumble your way into the kitchen, rifling through your cupboards as you searched for the tonics, finding them in the last one to be opened. Quickly, you uncorked the vial, dumping the contents into your mouth. You grimaced at the bitter taste, filling a mug with water and drinking most of it to wash it from your mouth.

Almost immediately, the pain was gone.

But so was all of your energy.

M’aiq circled around you as you stumbled to the dining table, barely managing to land on a chair and not fall straight to the floor. Fluffy paws tapped on your foot, and you dragged your head to look down, M’aiq’s worried eyes meeting yours. She meowed softly before running away, your heart hurting at the sight.

“That was rude, Eeky,” you said quietly, staring at the darkness under your bed, where she’d vanished to. “So rude,” you whispered, more to yourself than to her as you laid your head on the cool wood of the table. But you still needed to get up, go to work…

Soon though, fluffy paws bapped at your toes again, and you forced yourself to raise your head and look down at her-

And Azriel’s shadow.

“Mreow!” M’aiq said insistently when you didn’t understand her immediately, her tiny silver paws carrying her in circles around the shadow as she continued meowing, eyes locked on you.

“I don’t understand, Eek,” you said defeatedly, resting your head on the table again.

Two minutes of insistent meows later, and your face was being licked. “What are you-?” M’aiq was in front of you, shadow by her side, a piece of paper, quill and ink pot resting on the table. “Oh. Do you think I should send a letter to Sevenda to ask if I can stay home?”

“Mreeoow!” M’aiq’s head bobbed the tiniest bit, the corners of your lips lifting slightly.

“You’re so smart, baby girl, I didn’t even think of that,” you whispered as you set to writing the letter, simple and to the point, and you could barely manage that.

Sevenda, I'm not feeling well today, would it be possible for me to stay home? - Y/N

You waited a minute for the ink to dry before folding it and passing it to Azriel’s shadow. “I need you to take this to Sevenda, and have her write her answer on it before you come back. Can you do that?” The shadow bounced up and down before disappearing, leaving a very satisfied M’aiq in its wake.

“Yeah, yeah, smarty pants,” you giggled before pulling her into your arms. “Thank you, my little sweetheart,” you said, pressing a kiss between her ears, breathing in that sweet baby scent while you waited for a reply.

It didn’t take long, only a couple of minutes for the shadow to return, note fluttering to the table. The extra words written inside had you letting out a breath of relief, your body already crying out for sleep.

“Thank you, little one,” you said, giving the shadow a tiny pat before standing, M’aiq held tightly to your chest. You just managed to make it to the bed, setting M’aiq on her pillow before another wave of exhaustion hit. The blankets were only halfway on when you went out, the tonic’s effect too strong for you to fight any longer.

💙🤍💖🤍💙

“Y/N? Y/N are you okay?”

You blinked wearily at the ceiling, finally pulled from your foggy dreams and into your bedroom.

Everything here felt foggy too.

“Y/N?!” the voice asked, more frantic now. You could almost place whose voice it was, the answer floating at the edge of your brain. “Y/N, if you don’t come to the door I’m coming in!”

You looked to your left, where Azriel’s shadow had been lingering all day, whenever you’d woken. “Can you get that?” you asked quietly, the shadow instantly darting to unlock the door, revealing a wild-eyed Azriel.

“Y/N?” he asked as he stepped into the room, shutting and locking the door behind him. You hastily pulled the covers up to your chin when he started towards the bed. “Are you alright? I went by Sevenda’s to pick you up like we’d planned, but you weren’t there, and she told me you weren’t feeling well…”

“It’s just…” you blushed heavily, embarrassed that your cycle and a pain tonic had taken you out for the day, and the idea of discussing your cycle with Azriel… “Mor gave me pain tonics but I suppose they’re a bit too strong for a human,” you said shyly.

Hazel eyes narrowed for a moment before softening, and your brain kicked into gear.

Azriel was standing at the foot of your bed.

And you were only in a nightgown!

The situation was mortifying, especially when Azriel approached your side, reaching a hand out to touch your face. You let out a squeak before pulling the covers over your face, pulling them down a moment later to see Azriel’s stunned face.

“I’m… In a nightgown,” you said awkwardly, biting your lip to fight the frown that was forming.

“Okay?” Azriel asked, raising an eyebrow when you shook your head. “Not okay. Do you… Do you want me to go?”

“No,” you blurted out, sitting up slightly before falling back as a cramp hit you. “I just… What about our date?”

“The date I planned for tonight can wait until you’re feeling better and moving around. But I would love to spend the evening with you, if you’d have me.”

If you’d have him? As if you’d ever turn him away. “I’d just like to be more… Dressed.”

“Alright,” he nodded. “I’ll head to the shops to buy things for dinner, and you can get dressed. I’ll also pick up some lighter dosed tonics for you,” Azriel said simply. “Is that alright with you?”

Lips upturned, you nodded. “That sounds perfect, Az.” How were you so lucky to have him, as sweet and caring and beautiful as he is?

He gave you a shy smile, a look that you decided you adored on him. The sight of him alone was nearly enough to get you up and moving. “Any requests for dinner?”

“Something warm?” you said, not wanting anything in particular but knowing you’d appreciate some extra warmth. “Don’t… Don’t take too long, though?”

“I’ll be back as soon as I can, Y/N. Don’t take any tonics until I’m back with the properly dosed ones,” Azriel warned you, and you giggled at the seriousness of his voice.

“I won’t, Az. I promise.”

There was that cute smile again, and he nodded before turning around, half his shadows following in his wake, the other half drifting over to you, massing themselves in a thin layer over your bed. He started a fire in your fireplace before leaving your apartment, shutting the door behind him while a lone shadow followed behind, locking the door before floating over and joining its siblings.

“Hello, little ones,” you said softly, running your fingers over some of them. They were cool to the touch, like silk brushing against your skin, and soon they were swarming you, clinging to every inch of you, gently nuzzling you as they emitted the faintest hum, so quiet you thought you had imagined it until they repeated the noise a few minutes later.

Once the room had grown warmer, you sighed before tugging the blankets to the side, leaving your cozy cocoon to reach your bathroom. You’d like to take a bath, but you had a feeling you would fall asleep again, and being naked in the tub when Azriel returns would be far more uncomfortable for you than being dressed in only a nightgown. Instead, you used the toilet and washed your face quickly, already feeling a bit fresher. Next, you changed into a different pair of the underwear Mor had gifted you at Solstice and a fresh, thick nightgown, this one made of a cozy blue and black cotton flannel. Over it you pulled on cream silk dressing gown, one of the few nicer articles of clothing you hadn’t been able to part with when leaving the River House. Now you were clothed enough to be comfortable sitting next to Azriel, even if your dress was technically still a nightgown.

Even from such a small amount of effort, you were exhausted. You’d just managed to plop down on the couch when your front door unlocked, opening to reveal Azriel and his shadows entering a moment later. The dark mass moved over to you, swarming around you for a moment before settling down, sinking down to cover your lap, or slide onto the floor to pool around your feet.

Azriel set the groceries he’d bought on your kitchen counter before coming to kneel in front of you, a small vial held gently in scarred hands. “Open, please,” he ordered softly, uncorking the vial and tipping it into your open mouth. You swallowed the tonic, face scrunching at the bitter aftertaste. “Good girl,” Azriel said before planting his lips on your forehead.

You flushed at his words and let your hands pull him lower, pressing your lips to his. “I’m glad you came to check on me,” you whispered when he pulled away slightly.

“I am too, my love. I was worried when I heard you weren’t feeling well from Sevenda, but even more so when I saw that you had just woken up,” Azriel said sadly as he stroked your cheek with his thumb. “I’m guessing you haven’t eaten or drank anything since you took the first tonic, have you?” You shook your head, and he gave you a soft smile. “Well, I bought a few treats for you that I thought you might like, and I’d prefer if you would drink some water and eat something small while I cook dinner for us, if you’re up for it.”

“That sounds nice, Az. And… Thank you, for taking care of me,” you said with a heavy blush on your cheeks.

“I’m happy to do it, Y/N.” Azriel finally stood from his place in front of you, striding into the kitchen and reaching into the bag he had brought with him. He returned less than a minute later with a tall glass of water and a bar of chocolate- dark with swirls of raspberry, as you’d told him you liked in one of your letters over the last week. “Eat what you feel like, but I would like you to try and drink the entire glass, if you can. And I’m making soup, it shouldn’t take more than an hour. Do you need anything else before I get in the kitchen?”

Your smile was so wide you thought it might split your face in two as you looked at Azriel. When you’d first met him, he had seemed so intimidating. But standing in front of you now, Az looked soft, his large wings no longer foreign to you and his hazel eyes looking at you with so much care that you could hardly believe it. “I’m good right here, Az.”

Azriel’s smile matched your own before he turned to the kitchen, setting to work immediately. You opened the bar of chocolate, breaking off a piece and putting it in your mouth, eyes closing for a moment at the taste.

The night passed by too quickly for your taste, time spent eating the lovely chicken noodle soup Azriel had made while talking with him, and later watching him try to lure M’aiq out from under your bed, only succeeding when he placed her food bowl full of freshly cooked steak at the foot of it. He kissed you goodnight at your door, your lips lingering as long as they could before Azriel had to return to the Hewn City.

You shut the door with a sigh, still exhausted from the tonics you’d taken today along with the usual symptoms of your cycle. Sleep sounded nice, but a bath sounded even better. By the time you made it into the bathroom, the shadow that always stayed with you had already turned the faucet on and plugged the drain, hot water filling up the tub quickly. You gave it a small pat before undressing and slipping into the steaming water, the aches you could still feel melting away.

M'aiq toddled over just as you had begun nodding off, her meow rousing you slightly. The sight of her sitting in front of the tub, staring at you expectantly sped your bath along, and only a few minutes later you were out of the tub, drying yourself off as quickly as you could.

The main room was a comfortable temperature now, warm enough to sleep without adding extra blankets to your bed and making you smile. Azriel was so thoughtful, he had taken care of you in every way he could tonight, and each day spent with him had your heart growing more and more fond of him. The smile was glued to your face as you slipped into a fresh nightgown and slid into bed, M’aiq placed on her pillow.

Between Azriel, Mor, and M’aiq, you were feeling more cared for and loved than you had in years.

💙🤍💖🤍💙

The next week flew past for you once your cycle ended on Monday, your excitement for the secret date Azriel had planned growing with each passing day. He had sent little gifts with his shadows every day, sweet notes attached to each box of sweets or new blends of tea that he thought you might like. Mor had come over Monday morning, prodding you for the details of your relationship and telling you about the latest drama in the Hewn City, and how excited she was for Saturday night when the election would be held and she would be freed from responsibility for three weeks.

You were ready for her to have the time off as well, seeing just how stressed and run down your friend was made your heart hurt. It had been a long seven weeks of near constant work and interactions with her bastard of a father, and you were surprised that Mor hadn’t killed him yet.

Friday was already here, your heart beating faster the closer you came to your shift ending, more than ready to dash home and get dressed in time to meet Azriel outside of your apartment at six, regardless of what he had planned. Even if it was something you might not like, you’d be willing to try just about anything for Az.

Josi and Torma could sense your excitement and had come with you when you’d taken your lunch break.

“You’re practically vibrating, Y/N,” Josi laughed as she poked you in the side. You gave her a slightly annoyed look at her touch, only for your attention to snap to Torma.

“You going out with the Shadowsinger again?” Torma asked teasingly, chuckling when your face flushed.

“Of course she is,” a voice said behind you before someone slid into the seat next to you. “Haven’t you noticed how happy she’s been over the last two weeks?”

“Not you too, Wren,” you sighed, stirring your bowl of soup with a pout on your face.

“Sorry, kid. You wear your heart on your sleeve when it comes to him, it’s hard to ignore,” Wren said with a soft smile before turning to his own lunch.

“Yeah, the two of you are adorable, that’s why I tease,” Josi said sincerely. “If it really bothers you, I’ll try to stop.”

You rolled your eyes playfully at her before responding, “No, it’s fine. I’m just… Not used to people teasing me in a nice way.” Your voice was quiet as you said it, but you forced a smile on your face when you saw the sad looks your coworkers were giving you.

“Alright, if you’re sure… So, what are you lovebirds doing tonight. Something salacious?” Torma asked with a grin, her expression widening when you turned beet red.

“No, nothing… salacious,” you said with heated cheeks, almost wishing you’d told them to stop. “I actually don’t know what we’re doing, Az has kept it a surprise.”

“Do you hear that, Torma? Az. She even has a cute little nickname for him!”

“I heard it, Josi,” Torma said with smile, eyes apologizing for Josi. “He’s keeping it a secret, huh? I never would’ve thought the Shadowsinger would be much of a romantic.”

You couldn’t help the grin that slid onto your face at her words. “Azriel is very romantic, he just doesn’t show it to anyone but the one he’s courting.”

“Ooo, courting!” Josi and Torma exclaimed at the same time, earning another sigh from you before returning to your lunch.

The two of them continued to pry for details after lunch, all the way up until you were cleaning your station and washing your hands. You were caught by surprise at the small stream of shadows that came to greet you, wondering if they had also decided to disobey Azriel and sneak away to you until Sevenda popped her head through the door.

“Y/N, you have a visitor,” she giggled before disappearing into the front room again.

You finished drying your hands off, then made your way into the front of house, surprised to see Azriel standing there with a bouquet of pink and lavender roses in his hands. He looked dashing in the navy formal robes he was wearing, his hair even curlier than it usually was, the sight of him taking your breath away for a moment.

“I know we agreed to meet at your apartment in an hour, but I couldn’t wait to see you any longer,” Azriel said sheepishly, and you could just make out the dusting of pink on his cheeks.

“Ooooo!” you heard Josi exclaim behind you, “He is a romantic!”

“Hush!” you said loudly, turning around just in time to see your coworkers holding back giggles before disappearing into the kitchen again. “Sorry about that,” you said, face burning as you came to stand in front of Azriel, accepting the roses that he placed in your hands. “Seeing you even more is never a problem.”

“I’m glad to hear it.” Even if you weren’t looking at him, you would know he was smiling just by his voice. “We’d better get going, I do want to get you home at a reasonable time.”

You wasted no time in grabbing his hand and pulling him out of Sevenda’s and back to your apartment, even letting him come upstairs with you to wait in the warmth while you got ready. Your hands reached into the closet, pulling out a dress that you hadn’t worn in over a year, but hadn’t been able to leave at the River House.

The underlay was a deep plum color, with the puffed sleeves and bodice of the dress covered in a delicate black lace. There was a layer of black silk over the back and sides of the skirts, the plum underlay only fully shown on the front third of the dress, and with the high waistline, the skirts fell loosely around you- perfect for moving around, and even making you feel elegant as you do.

Nesta had berated you the last and only time you’d worn it, telling you in no uncertain terms that the dress looked hideous on you. Now though, you had a feeling that she had been lying in an attempt to break your already fragile spirit. But that was a year ago, and you had initially found yourself beautiful in the mirror when you’d donned the dress for Starfall. And now, you had a feeling that someone else would appreciate it as well.

“I’ll be out in a few minutes, feel free to play with M’aiq if she’ll let you,” you said as you grabbed a fresh set of undergarments once Azriel had turned his head towards your bed, where M’aiq was likely hiding.

It took you under five minutes to dress, mostly due to the laces on the back of the dress being easy enough to tighten and tie yourself. And, to your complete surprise, you filled out the dress near perfectly, your body nearly back to the weight it had been, before… before everything. You pushed those thoughts away, instead choosing to refresh your makeup a tad, adding more rouge to your cheeks and a light coat of plum lipstick, the color popping against your still-pale skin- though you were certain that would change, come springtime. Your hair was pinned up quickly, your skill with your hairpin having greatly improved over the two or so months that you’d owned it.

You exited the bathroom to see Azriel at the stove, M’aiq meowing loudly on the counter next to him, hunger having won over fear of a ‘stranger.’ Your legs carried you to them, one arm wrapping around Az’s middle from behind, the other reaching to scratch between M’aiq’s ears. “You didn’t have to do that, you know.”

“I know, but M’aiq came out from under the bed and led me to the fridge,” Azriel chuckled, his free hand lacing with the one you had on his stomach. “And I figured that the little princess being hungry was something that needed to be rectified before we left.”

M’aiq meowed in agreement, scooting a bit closer to the pan. You giggled at the sight, stroking her fur while she impatiently waited for her food to be finished. You stayed, pressed to Azriel’s back until he had transferred the bits of steak to her food bowl, reluctantly stepping back to let him place it on the ground, M’aiq following soon after.

You heard Azriel’s sharp breath in, eyes wide as you looked at him, wondering what happened, only to see his eyes locked on you. “What is it?” Does he not like your dress? Was nesta-

“You- you look beautiful, Y/N. I’ve always regretted not telling you that at Starfall last year. You took my breath away then, too,” Azriel said, your cheeks pinking at the passion in his voice.

“Thank you, Az.” You were beaming at his words, and breathless when he swept you in for a kiss, his arm keeping you close to him even after you parted. “Now, where are we going?”

“Patience, my dear,” Azriel chuckled, loosening his hold on you slowly. “You’ll know as soon as we get there, and we can leave whenever you’d like.” You narrowed your eyes playfully at him when he began leading you to the door, fastening your cloak around your neck before you could even reach for it, his caring touch sending butterflies through you.

You were on the street, arms locked together as Azriel led you to your date locale, taking your time in the icy weather that had coated Velaris in the third month of winter.

“How has work been?” you asked once you were a few blocks from your apartment.

“It’s been… Stressful, recently. The elections are nearly over, though I’m doubting Keir will go down without a fight if he doesn’t win the vote. And the situation in Autumn is progressing at a faster pace than anticipated, now that Eris is sure of his plan,” Azriel said in a tired voice, the exhaustion that his work caused poking through his usually stoic façade.

“I hope Keir loses, but I don’t want you to be under more strain, if he does.” You worried about him, similarly to how you worried for Mor when she was gone. They both had such high workloads- it hardly seemed fair to you, though you figured it wasn’t your place to interject.

“You don’t need to worry about me, love. I’ve dealt with far worse than an enraged Steward,” Azriel said with confidence, leading you across the Sidra, his carefully positioned wings blocking the worst of the wind.

“But I do worry, Az. And I’ll continue worrying because I want you to be safe.” Preferably in your arms, you thought, but kept the sentiment to yourself.

Azriel lifted your hand to his lips and kissed the back of it, flashing that charming smile of his at you. “I’ll do everything I can to stay safe for you, Y/N.” Your heart could barely take how sweet he was with you, each and every time you saw him. He pulled you to a stop, gesturing to the right. “We’re here.”

You could hear the faint sound of music coming from inside, though it sounded different from the music that poured through Rita’s. Azriel pulled the door open and guided you through the entrance, the music clearer now. It was dancing music, not the wild dancing that happened at Rita’s, but instead the music that would play at the village parties, where dance etiquette and proper lessons were required. There were already a half dozen couples dancing on the open floor as you walked in, all of them dancing to the beat in their own ways.

If only you’d had more time to learn, before your life was upturned and you were brought here.

Azriel must have sensed sudden rigidity of your body, because he leaned down and whispered, “Don’t worry, I’m not an expert either. We can slow dance and sway in the corner, if you’d like, or I can teach you the basics of the dances that I do know.”

“Can we do both?” you asked him, looking up to see his hazel eyes shining at you.

“Of course, let’s go find our spot,” Azriel said, now scanning the room for an unoccupied corner. He found one quickly, leading you with a hand on the small of your back, one of his wings nearly curled around you. His hands unfastened your cloak, hanging it on one of the hooks available near the table that he had chosen, tucked in the back right corner of the dance hall. “Have I told you just how beautiful you look tonight?”

You giggled as a blush spread over your cheeks. “Yes, I believe you have. Have I told you how handsome you look right now? Your curls especially,” you said, running one hand through them impulsively.

Azriel grinned at you, then leaned in for a chaste kiss, something you were thankful for. You weren’t quite ready to kiss in public, and frankly, you weren’t sure if you would ever be. “Would you like to eat first, or dance a bit before we order?”

“Mm…” You listened to the music more closely for a moment, and watched the speed of the dancers before determining that you would prefer to wait for a slower song. “Could we order wine, and dance to the slower songs for a bit?”

“That sounds perfect,” Az said, leaning down to kiss your cheek. “Go ahead and take a seat, and I’ll go get our drinks. Any preference for your wine?”

“Something sweet, please.” Azriel nodded, then walked around the floor to get to the bar. Your eyes wandered to the other patrons, admiring the way they dance so smoothly, like it was second nature to them. The few times you’d danced you’d been less than graceful, but you were thankful to know that Azriel wouldn’t judge your skill level.

He returned a minute later, two glasses of wine in hand, one red, the other a light blush color. Scarred hands set the lighter colored glass in front of you, then Azriel slid into the seat across from you. “I hope you like it, the bartender said it’s their new favorite dessert wine, straight from Autumn.” The sip you took proved the bartender right, sweetness and the slightest hint of alcohol flowing over your tongue.

“It’s lovely. Would you like to try it?” You offered your glass to Az and he took it readily, taking a small sip.

“That is nice. Now I don’t know how I’ll drink mine, it’ll be far more bitter” he chuckled, passing your glass back and exchanging it for your hand.

A few minutes later, and just enough wine in your system to keep your nerves at bay, the song had changed to a slower tempo, one that you would be much more comfortable with. “Would you like to dance?”

“I’d be delighted, Y/N,” Az said, already standing and pulling you from your seat, one hand landing on your waist once you were upright, the other grasping your right hand. “You know, you inspired me to bring you here.”

“Really?” you asked as your arms looped around his neck, your heeled boots just barely making it possible.

“Mhm. We danced on our first date in the snow, which was magical.” Your heart warmed at the memory, how perfect it had been. The two of you began to sway as he continued, “And I realized that I’d come here nearly every night when I first came to Velaris, and that it had been countless years since I had so much as set foot in a dance hall. But being with you, dancing with you, I suddenly had the urge to come here again, with you and only you.”

“Only me?” you asked shyly, wanting more than anything for it to be true.

“Only you,” Azriel confirmed, leaning down to kiss you softly. “As I said, I’ve only had eyes for you, from the moment I met you.”

You almost let out an embarrassing, excited noise at his words, held back only by you biting your lip, though that didn’t stop them from spreading into a grin. You wished that you could say the same, that you hadn’t had that silly crush on Cassian for so long, but you were here now, and falling for Azriel faster than you could have ever imagined. “You have no idea how lucky I consider myself,” you said as you gazed up at him, following his lead as you danced in small, slow circles. “And how happy I am that we both fell for each other.”

“I could say the same myself, my dear. Two weeks with you, and I’m happier than I’ve been in centuries.”

Centuries. Sometimes you forgot just how many years separated you from Azriel, how much more experience he has, romantic or otherwise. But against all odds, he had chosen you, and that was more significant than anyone he had been with in the past.

You let Azriel lead you into a slow waltz, repositioning your hands and guiding you through the steps, his confidence increasing your own. Az made it so you barely had to pay attention, your eyes glued to him the entire time you danced. His hands never strayed lower than your waist, and his hazel eyes were respectful as well.

Everything he did made you comfortable, made it even easier to trust him. Just as Mor had told you, he had not once pushed for your relationship to move faster than you wanted, and while you were only two weeks into your relationship, you’d heard of how demanding some males could be. He was perfect, in every way.

The two of you danced for more than an hour before taking a break and ordering dinner, and only stayed seated long enough to eat before you were tugging Az back on the dance floor. By the time you got home it was past midnight, and you knew that you might regret staying out so late when morning came around, but you hadn’t been able to tear yourself away from Azriel. He had kissed you goodnight at the door of your building, and waited until you were safely inside to leave, as you’d noticed he liked to do.

Sleep was hard to find, even knowing you needed to wake up in less than seven hours, but you couldn’t help how giddy the constant replay of Az’s smile in your head and his sweet words made you.

❤️🤍💖🤍❤️

Sunday morning, you were walking to work when you were suddenly ambushed, a bouncy blond wrapping you in her arms.

“Y/N! I’m so excited, I have the next three weeks off!”

You giggled as you extricated yourself from her grasp, finally getting a good look at her. Red lipstick and a skin tight, wine red dress were in place as usual, but her chocolate eyes were beaming with more happiness than you’d seen in them since you had met Mor. “I’m so happy for you! Any plans for your time off? Maybe asking out a certain Illyrian?” you asked teasingly, grinning wide when Mor’s cheeks reddened.

“Possibly, though I know I want to spend some time with you, and go visit my dear friend Viviane in the Winter Court. Emerie… If I’m feeling brave, I’ll ask her to go to dinner with me once I return.”

“Drink a glass of wine beforehand, that’ll have you feeling courageous enough,” you laughed, avoiding Mor’s playful smack by a hair. “Really, though, if you like her you should ask her out, and soon. I don’t want you to regret anything, and with the way you talk about her, you won’t regret Emerie one bit.”

Mor sighed dramatically before patting you on the shoulder. “You know, you might be right… If someone else won her affections before me I would be devastated, with how long I’ve pined for her…”

“Ooo, you admitted to pining!” you giggled, unable to help how you were teasing her after how often she had done it to you, the small prods making you more open with Azriel overall.

“Yes, I’ve been pining. Don’t you have to go to work?” Mor asked, rolling her eyes before grinning at you. “I’ll walk you there, if that’s alright.”

“That’s fine, Mor.” The two of you began walking, pace slowing whenever you walked over a patch of ice. “Do you want to come over for a sleepover tonight? I’ll cook whatever you want, to celebrate you being free!”

“That sounds wonderful, sweets! Oh, and we could go shopping tomorrow! I still haven’t taken you, when I promised we would go…”

“Mor, that’s not really necessary,” you said quietly, hoping that she’d drop the subject. You weren’t exactly rolling in marks at this point, and you didn’t want for Mor to pay for everything.

“Yes it is, Y/N. Don’t you want to have even more cute dresses to wow Azriel with? Hmm?” Your heart skipped in your dress, the thought of making Azriel gasp at your appearance again warming you, even in the winter chill.

“Well if you put it like that...” you conceded, a delighted Mor squeezing your arm. You stopped in front of Sevenda’s, giving Mor a hug. “I’ll see you tonight, you can meet me here if you’d like and we can go shopping for ingredients.”

“Sounds like a plan to me, Y/N! I’ll see you in a few hours,” Mor said cheerily, bouncing away in the direction of her apartment as you went inside, greeted by the warmth of the fireplace and Sevenda’s smile.

❤️🤍💖🤍❤️

“Oh, Y/N, you look lovely in this one! What do you think?” Mor asked you, her hands steering you by your shoulders to face the mirror. You stared at yourself, surprised that you didn’t hate the way you look anymore. Instead…

“It looks so pretty on me,” you said quietly, swooshing the skirts of the dress against your legs as you spun in a half circle. Your bones no longer protruded as they had around Solstice, and the small curves you’d gained had filled out every dress you had tried on today near perfectly. It seemed that gaining your independence had been a boon for more than your mind in the last month and a half. The dress was made of indigo silk, and while the dress clung closely to your skin until it hit your waistline, the bateau neckline and long sleeves made the dress feel modest as a whole, just as you preferred.

“I know, sweets! And I’m sure Azriel would feel the same,” Mor tittered, giving your shoulders a gentle squeeze before letting go. “Were there any other dresses I could convince you to try on today?” The sweet look in her eyes and the bat of her lashes did nothing to persuade you, not when Mor had already made it very clear that she would be paying for everything that the two of you bought today, even with your attempts to convince her otherwise.

“Mor, I already picked out fifteen dresses that I like, I don’t need anymore. It’s too much, already.”

“Nonsense!” Mor exclaimed, coming around in front of you to look you in the eyes. “You’ve spent so much of your life worrying and caring for others, and while that should have changed the moment you set foot in Velaris, I am more than happy to make up for lost time. You’re like the sister I never had, Y/N. Let me take care of you.”

You wasted no time in pulling Mor into your arms, tears threatening to fall at her loving words. “Thank you, Mor. Just… Thank you,” you whispered, breathing shaky.

“It’s no problem, sweets. Now, I know you won’t let me buy you any more dresses… But what about lingerie?” Mor asked after you parting, earning a scandalized look from you.

“Mor!”

“Oh, hush,” Mor giggled. “I know you aren’t planning to sleep with anyone before you get married, but wouldn’t you like to be prepared for when that day comes?” Her reasoning did nothing to stop your cheeks from flushing scarlet. “Pleaaase, I really think you’d like shopping for it… You know, imagining the way Azriel would look at you while you wear them, or even just to wear at night to feel even prettier, just for yourself. And I know you could use a few new sets of undergarments, I don’t recall seeing you go shopping for yourself once since you’ve come here unless you were made to,” Mor said with a pointed look.

Your lips fell into a pout, knowing that she was telling the truth about that. The one item you’d bought for yourself was your precious hairpin, and that hardly counted as clothing… “Fine, but you will not be seeing me try anything on,” you said resolutely, stepping around Mor to enter the dressing room again.

“That’s fine by me!” Mor chirped as you undid the laces of the dress and slipped out of it and into the dress you’d worn here, rejoining her as quickly as you could before she tried to foist another dress on you, as much as you appreciated gesture. She was standing at the door, sending the bags to your apartment with her magic just as you exited the dressing room. “Alright, let’s get going!”

Mor led you to a lingerie store tucked away in the middle of the Palace, opening the door and gently guiding you inside with a hand on your upper back, following after you to ensure that you entered the shop. “I’ll only pick out dressing and night gowns for you, and I promise to not choose anything too revealing, if that’s fine by you.”

It took you a moment to reply as you adjusted to the new environment, fighting the blush that had overtaken your cheeks. “Uhm, yeah, that’s fine,” you said quietly before wandering into aisles of lace and silk. You noticed that there were a wide variety of styles, from sheer lace that would hide nothing to the long sleeved, high necked nightgowns that you tended to prefer. The amount of choices before you was overwhelming, though you did end up drifting towards the shelves that held matching underwear sets.

You were busy inspecting the options before you when the store owner approached, or at least you assumed her to be. “Good afternoon miss, did you need help finding anything?”

“Oh, uh…” you paused, feeling completely awkward as you met her eyes. “Is there any way to figure out what… size I am?”

The nerves in your voice had the fae’s eyes softening, and she held up the long strip of evenly marked cloth hanging around her neck. “Yes, I can take your measurements without even touching you, you’ll just need to undress in one of the dressing rooms first. Did you have anything specific that you’d like to try on? I could send them through the side compartment for you, so you only need to undress the one time.”

The thought of being measured sent butterflies crashing through your stomach, though if you wanted your new things to feel right… “That sounds lovely, but would I be able to look around a bit more first?”

“Of course, dear. Take all the time you need, I’ll be at the counter. Oh, and my name is Maraya,” she said with a bright smile before walking away to give you a bit of privacy.

You turned back to the selection before you, lightly running your fingers over a few pairs that caught your eye. The softer colors appealed to you more, creams and soft pastels with delicate lace detailing looking like something you would actually wear on a daily basis. And if they were the correct size, as almost none of your current sets were, you would likely be far more comfortable wearing you purchases today. And while it made you turn even more red, you decided to try on a few darker blue sets, their colors nearly matching the siphons that Azriel used.

You approached Maraya quietly, and thankfully she initiated the conversation again. “Find what you want to try on?”

“Yes, you have a wonderful selection here,” you said as you followed her back to the area you’d been standing in, pointing to each of the pairs that you’d like to try on.

“Very well, take the tape measure and this pad of paper and quill. The measure is enchanted, so as soon as you’re undressed it’ll take measurements and the quill will write everything down, and all you need to do is set the items in the side sompartment, then I’ll grab everything you pointed out in the correct size. Now, go on, the dressing rooms are straight behind you at the back wall, and there is a lock on both the door and the inner sliding door of the side compartment.”

“Thank you, Maraya,” you said, taking the items that she offered to you and heading to the back of the store. It took only a minute or two for the tape measure to finish up, and you did as she’d instructed, standing awkwardly in the nicely size room. You only needed to wait five minutes for Maraya to knock on the lefthand side of the room, the compartment full of the sets you had selected.

Surprisingly, the sight of your body in only your undergarments was pleasant, especially with them fitting you so nicely. And the sapphire sets you had picked out- oh, you could almost see the face that Azriel would make, seeing you dressed so intimately for him. With that thought in mind, you left the dressing room with flushed cheeks and the entire stack of undergarments, surprised that you were thinking so boldly about your future relationship with him. Mor met you when you were halfway to the front of the store, a grin on her lips when she saw the three sets on top, though she held back any comments about buying them with Azriel in mind.

“Do you want to try these on? I found a lot of pretty ones that are a bit different from what you normally wear, but I think you might like them.” She held out her left arm, which had nightgowns and robes hanging by their hooks, her choices for herself held in her right hand. The selection she had found for you was beautiful, all the nightgowns in colors that you liked, with tasteful necklines and shorter hems than you usually wore, though you’d estimate that most of them would reach your knees, which was acceptable enough for you. There were two dressing gowns, one in a royal blue and the other in creamy pink.

“Oh Mor, these are so nice! Thank you for picking them out for me,” you said softly as you grabbed the hangers from her. Mor grabbed the stack you’d had piled in your arms and gently pushed you back to the dressing rooms.

“Go ahead and try them on, I’ll put your things by the front and meet you outside of the dressing rooms, alright?” You nodded and flashed a smile to Mor, excitedly heading back into the dressing room.

They were all lovely and fit you nicely, though just like with the undergarments, you were most excited at how you looked in the sapphire silk nightgown she had picked out. Perhaps… If you and Azriel married- but you were getting ahead of yourself.

Though… As Mor had said, it would be nice to be prepared for when that day came.

You met Mor outside of the dressing rooms, heading to the front of the store. Mor refused to let you pay, her bank card hitting the ledger before you could even attempt to grab yours. Maraya bid you farewell, and you were almost certain that you would see her again, especially if you do end up getting married.

It was a cold walk back to your apartment, both your and Mor’s arms laden with bags, most of the purchases for you.

“So, I was thinking we could stop by Sevenda’s to pick up dinner, and we could have a nice, cozy night in while I make you tell me every detail of your and Az’s relationship,” Mor suggested, a hungry sparkle in her brown eyes that you knew could only be satisfied by gossip.

You rolled your eyes at her playfully and nodded, already taking the turn that led to the restaurant that felt like home to you. “Fine, fine. But I am paying,” you insisted as you tugged her through the door.

Sevenda’s warm smile greeted you. “Ah, Y/N! I had a feeling you’d show up today. Is there anything I can get you ladies?”

“I think two bowls of your chicken curry and some flatbread to go would be perfect,” you said, glancing at Mor to make sure you weren’t overstepping by ordering for her. She merely flashed you a smile, and you turned back to Sevenda. “And a bottle of wine, if you can spare it.”

The smile Sevenda gave you was wide as she replied, “I can always spare a bottle for one of my employees, dear. Now, both of you take a seat while you wait.” You opened your mouth to protest, knowing that the restaurant would soon be crammed with patrons for dinner, but one stern look from your boss had it closing.

While you waited, Mor told you more about her friend in Winter- Viviane, a powerful warrior who had held out against Amarantha, and more recently was named High Lady of Winter.

“I wish you could come with me, I think you’d love how stunning the snow is in Winter. Oh, and the hot chocolate Viviane makes is otherworldly, even by fae standards,” Mor gushed, her excitement nearly seeping out of her pores. “I have to take you sometime, once Feyre and Rhys-” she paused, brown eyes nervous now.

“Once my sister and her mate stop being stupid and cruel is what you meant to say, I believe.” You forced the tension out of your shoulders at the sudden reminder that you were trapped in this city.

“I didn’t-“ Mor stopped, her shoulders curling in. “I’m sorry that I haven’t been able to change their minds, Y/N.”

You smiled at Mor, and you hoped it was reassuring enough. “Mor, you’ve done more for me than anyone else in this city. You have nothing to apologize for, not with me. You… I consider you my sister, at this point,” you admitted quietly, hoping that your coworkers wouldn’t hear.

Brown eyes sparkled with tears at you from across the table, and Mor took one of your hands in hers. “You’re like the sister I never had but always longed for, Y/N. My only regret is that I didn’t reach out to you sooner.”

You smiled at her words, “Mor. You don’t need to apologize for anything.”

Blush dusted your friend’s cheeks. “I know, I just… want to say thank you. For letting me in.”

“And I want to say thank you back. You saved me, Mor.” Now both of you were misty-eyed, just in time for Sevenda to return with your food and wine already bagged.

“You girls go on home, and enjoy the food,” she said cheerily, attempting to wave you out without paying.

“What about-”

“It’s the first time you’ve come in as a patron since you started working for me, Y/N, everything is on the house tonight. Now go! Enjoy your night, dears,” Sevenda insisted, already corralling the both of you to the door.

“Thank you, Sevenda,” you said, a tad more emotionally than you’d like, after your conversation with Mor. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Yes you will, now both of you walk safely, it’s slippery out!” she said, pushing you outside and closing the door before you could think twice about not paying.

The walk back to your apartment was quiet, though you linked arms with Mor despite the bags you both held, savoring each moment with her, knowing that the bond you felt with her was reciprocated.

Your new sister walked beside you, warmer and more caring than any of your blood sisters would ever be.

❤️🤍💖🤍❤️

You whipped around, back to the pillar, and the influx of auburn hair flooded your vision. You should've recognised that familiar pine smell, rather than putting it down to the sensations of Spring around you. A side smirk grazed his lips and his eyes were radiant with mischief.

“Aren't you aware you shouldn't sneak up on ladies, Lucien?” You tried your hardest not to flush.

“I wouldn't usually deem it necessary,” A wicked grin, “But you seem to be doing some sneaking yourself. Do you often stalk your poor sister or is that just a hobby you've chosen for today?”

He was horrid. A horrid, witty, gorgeous male.

Your head turned slightly back to your sister and her lover, a frown touching upon your face, “She's losing herself.”

“She loves him.”

“At what cost?”

The Feyre you had grown with seemed to be disappearing day by day. Tamlin had offered you what seemed to be salvation; a comfortable living for your other sisters and an abundance of joy and life to live within the walls of Spring. He had been gentlemanly and courteous and somehow you couldn't seem to shake the feeling that something was very, very wrong.

You could feel Lucien's breath fanning on your neck as he looked upon the altercation too, undoubtedly not seeing the same truth that you did.

“She doesn't have to be your responsibility any longer, you can have fun too.” The male's words struck a chord within you, and you hoped that Fae did not have the ability to scent the giddiness that ran through you as well as they did pleasure.

“I have always been responsible for her,” You quivered, “To abandon her now after years in those woods together would be abominable.”

“Ah, my Y/N. Ever the samaritan.” His hand brushed your cheek.

“I am not your anything.”

“Would you like to be?” His hand strayed from you face, yet his fingertips replaced the touch, gliding exquisitely down the side of your neck. They paused in the crook, where fabric met soft skin, and toyed with the material. Your breath quickened as the sensation sent shivers down your spine, his hands leaving the famous Vanserra fire humming deliciously underneath your skin.

“A mortal female,” His face got closer to your own, “So delicate, so... captivating; and so willing to fall apart before the kind she should wish to destroy.”

Your gaze flickered to his lips, faces so close that breath could mingle. Every one of your senses were working at their highest capacity; Lucien had always had the ability to fog your mind, ever since you'd been hauled to the southern Court. You wanted him everywhere and nowhere and always and never. He confused you and scared you and just one glance from him could send flames licking down to your very core.

He was dangerous. You loved it.

“Sneak away with me tonight.” A foreign look of vulnerability filled his eyes.

You took one more glance behind you to Feyre. She was giggling in Tamlin's ear, draped over his shoulders as he lounged in a chair. Soft smiles graced both of their beautiful faces.

It's only one night. She can handle herself for one night.

You looked back upon Lucien's bewitching face, and the both of you shared a smile. You ran your hand down his arm, lacing your fingers between his. He had watched the entire movement, cheeks flushing with something unfamiliar, as he released a small chuckle.

🤍💙💖💙🤍

Being the second-eldest daughter of the Archeron family, and twin to Nesta, had been tough.

But nothing had been so difficult as being mated to the Shadowsinger of the Night Court, Azriel.

Not that you didn’t love and cherish the male with all of your heart, that wasn’t what was difficult about it.

It was being a former-human-turned-high-fae that was difficult, at least when you were in Illyria with your mate. Which happened to be nearly all the time, now that you lived here with Azriel and your soon-to-be-born twin boys.

As much as Azriel detested the ways of his people, he couldn’t bear to see his children outcast by them entirely. So when he had asked you if you would be comfortable moving here, ready for you to reject the notion entirely? You had said yes, even knowing how difficult it could be.

But your Archeron upbringing had trained you well for it, right?

Wrong.

While Nesta had occasionally been cold to you, your father distant, and your mother downright abusive, your upbringing had been nothing to the scorn and hatred shown to you by the Illyrian people, for having dared to be mated to one of them.

Azriel had flown you to the mountains when you had been only three months pregnant, to have the two of you find a suitable plot of land to build your house - well, for Azriel to build your new home. He had fussed over you the whole way, his shadows wrapped around you everywhere that he wasn’t touching, making sure there was no chance that you could be dropped or having any sort of harm befall you on your journey.

You had merely giggled at his overprotective behavior, which had been present since your courting and mateship, but now that you were pregnant? He had gone overboard with it, sending at least five shadows with you everywhere you went that he didn’t, an increase from the usual two. You found it cute, how he just wanted to keep you safe at all times.

The entire time you were in Windhaven, no Illyrians approached the two of you, instead staying a safe distance away, their scornful eyes watching the pair of you closely. You had hardly noticed it at the time, but four months later, when Azriel had finished the cabin and the two of you had moved in?

It was all you could notice.

You were eight months pregnant when you moved in, and from what you had heard of Azriel’s young adulthood, pregnancy was a blessing to be celebrated by the entire war camp.

But no one came to visit with well wishes, not that you’d expected them to, and yet… You had hoped you might be accepted by your new neighbors, at least on a surface level.

You and Azriel made do with your situation, celebrating the birth of your twin boys with the company of your family, one of the happiest days of your life.

When you looked at Azriel, and then to the twin boys sleeping in your arms, you knew that whatever hardships that may come would be worth every second of joy you would have.

🤍💙💖💙🤍

Fifteen. Your twins, Kai and Keiran, were fifteen years of age now, and had already been training in the rings with the older males for five years, giving you plenty to use you cauldron-gifted powers on.

You hadn’t been given much in the way of sheer power by the mythical force, but what you had been gifted was healing magic, which was more than enough for you.

Initially, you had hoped that your ability to heal wounds would have you accepted by the camp, but it actually had the opposite effect. Your sons, and any that you healed, were seen as weak for needing their injuries mended beyond stopping death’s cold hands from taking them.

Still, you healed the younger females in secret, knowing that even with Rhys attempting to change the thinking of the Illyrian people, their lives were hard enough as it was without having scraped hands and knees.

At the current moment, you were washing laundry in the slow paced stream on the edge of the camp, a few paces away from the other mothers and daughters of the camp. They had been staring at you scornfully the entire time you’d been crouched on the bank, scrubbing at the endless pile of Illyrian leathers that your sons went through over the last week.

It wasn’t until you saw the shadow of a pair of wings covering you that you turned around, coming face to face with Devlon.

“Can I help you, Lord?” You asked politely as you set down the leathers, staring up at the male that only came around to make your life difficult.

“Perhaps,” He said coolly, staring down at you with disdain. “It appears that one of the young girls who had her wings clipped last night also seems to have had them healed soon after, leaving her able to fly. Do you happen to know anything about that?”

You blinked up at him, forcing yourself to look confused. “No, I don’t know anything about that, Lord. Perhaps your warriors weren’t able to cut the tendons properly? Also… Isn’t wing clipping forbidden under the High Lord?”

Devlon seethed down at you, raising a hand in the air as if he would strike you.

“Is there a problem here, Lord?”

Kai appeared at your side not a moment later, one wing curling protectively around your back.

“It would be awfully rude of you to strike our mother when you have no proof of wrongdoing,” Keiran said as he stood at your other side, copying his twin’s pose, arms crossed over his puffed out chest.

“Especially if High Lord Rhysand were to find out about the supposed wing clipping that you just asked her about,” Kai added cheerily.

Devlon let out a hiss of annoyance and stormed away from the three of you, and you let out a sigh of relief. You may not be as afraid of him as you once were, but you were still well aware of the threat that the male posed to you.

“Thank you, boys,” you said, giving them each a kiss on the cheek when you finally stood. “What ever would I do without you?” You asked sweetly as you looked at them, carbon copies of their father.

“You’d threaten him all the same, momma,” Kai remarked as he gave you a quick hug. “We should probably get back…”

Keiran leaned in to give you a longer squeeze, pressing your cheeks together as he had since he was a babe. “We’ll see you for dinner, yeah?”

“I’d better,” you warned as they began walking away, wings fluttering lightly in the breeze. “You boys be good!” You yelled after them when they started running back towards the training rings, shaking your head at them.

🤍💙💖💙🤍

Eight months later, Winter Solstice was upon you. This year, your sisters and their mates came to stay in Rhys’s cabin, just a short winnow away from Windhaven. That meant all of you would be attending the festivities in Windhaven, something Rhys had been attempting to do every other year since your boys were born, in hopes of improving relations between the Dreamers and the Illyrians.

Early in the afternoon, though, Azriel was called away to the Hewn City, Keir had caused a scene when Rhys had offered only a short visit from him and Feyre tonight.

You spent the time before your sisters and their mates showed up preparing your boys, dressing them up nicely in fine leathers that you and Azriel had spent the last few months making in secret.

After all, this was the first year that your boys had crushes! You wanted them to look their best for Solstice!

And this morning while you were getting ready, Azriel had surprised you with a gorgeous fur gown that he had made for you in secret as well, perfect for keeping you warm in the snowy Illyrian mountains. He had  lowered the gown over your head, then shoulders carefully before guiding your arms through the sleeves, his touch so gentle it brought tears to your eyes. It was only after he had gotten the dress in place that you pulled him in for a kiss, full of all the love you felt for your sweet, dedicated mate.

“Do you like it?” He had asked lowly when you pulled away, his lovely hazel eyes searching yours.

“Azzie, I love it! How long were you working on it?” You’d asked, marveling at the perfect stitching, the white fur trim lining the edges of the tan dress, and of course the sleeves that were fitted to the elbow before billowing out past the edge of your fingers.

“Oh, a few minutes here, a few minutes there,” Azriel had said softly, smiling at your laugh before pulling you in for another kiss, this one more heated.

It was then that Kai and Keiran had burst through your door in search of their outfits, ‘ewing’ when they saw the two of you break away from each other.

That had been eight hours ago, just before Azriel had been called away, and there was still no sign of them. The festivities had already begun, the bonfire already lit - your favorite moment to share with Azriel.

You sighed and poured yourself a glass of wine before wandering over to a bench, not wanting to disturb your sisters at the moment, who were busy canoodling with their own mates. How you wished yours would return at this moment, bringing happiness and warm to this otherwise frigid nights.

Already, you could see the disapproving stares of those around you, your family excluded. It was only a matter of time before the whispers started…

In your fifteen years in Windhaven, you had only been to one Illyrian celebration without Azriel by your side, a harvest festival that your boys had begged to go to, even though their father had been away on the Continent that week. After that, well… You always made sure that Azriel or your boys were with you, if you went to any festivities.

Tonight though, you would deal with the whispers, the stares, the leering males who took the opportunity while Azriel wasn’t around to threaten them over it.

“She looks so pathetic over there, her mate can’t even bother to spend Solstice with her,” one female whispered loudly, smiling at you when you made eye contact with her.

“I bet he’s off fucking someone else,” the person next to her tittered.

“I know I wouldn’t be able to stand touching her,” one of the men nearby said.

“I don’t know, I feel like she’s got to be a freak to keep that bastard entertained,” one of the males chortled, his eyes greedily looking over you.

You were just about to give up and go home, having stood from your spot on the bench, when a pair of strong arms wrapped around you, wings curling around your body next.

You looked up and back, a grin breaking over your face when you saw Azriel’s gorgeous face hovering over yours. “Hi,” you whispered.

“Hello, my love,” Azriel murmured before placing a gentle kiss on your lips. After parting from you, he spun you in his arms, his eyes taking on a more serious look. “How has your Solstice been?”

“Oh… You know…” You trailed off, not truly wanting to discuss the cruel words that had been whispered in your presence.

“Who do I need to take care of?” Azriel growled as he pulled you closer, eyes looking over his wings to see who might have hurt you.

You buried your face in his chest, taking in a deep breath of night chilled mist and cedar before you said the name, directly into his leathers.

“I’m sorry, love, I didn’t quite hear that.”

You sighed, and pulled back from his chest to look in his eyes. “Torin, straight in front of you. And… Everyone he’s standing with.”

Azriel growled again, his eyes locked on the male for a minute before turning back to you. “Are you alright? Do you want to go home?”

“I’m alright, now that you’re here,” you replied with a smile.

Az nodded. “Good. Do you mind if I go talk some sense into them?”

Your smile only grew. “No, go right ahead my love.”

He unfurled his wings from around you, and squeezed you one last time before you stepped to the side, turning to watch as he stomped furiously through the snow over to the group, for once grateful that he hadn’t taken the time to remove his knife belts.

Maybe they would finally learn to stop shit talking you, at least within earshot of you.

In a moment, Azriel had the male pinned to the floor by his neck, one of his boots holding a wing to the ground, painfully if the male’s whimpers had anything to say about the situation.

“The next time I hear that you’ve talking about my wife, I will take you into the ring for your last time, am I understood?” He asked, tightening his hold when Torin didn’t answer. “Am I understood?!”

Torin tapped on Azriel’s arm, nodding as much as he could in his hold. “Yes, yes,” he croaked out once Az let him go, straightening out and leveling the rest of his group with a glare.

“That goes for the rest of you, do you understand?”

The group nodded, wide eyed as they murmured yes, none of them daring to help Torin stand from where he was still laying on the ground, clutching at his throat.

“Good! Now, my sweet mate, would you join me for a dance?” Azriel asked after he turned from the group, his hazel eyes soft and caring once again.

“I’d love nothing more, mate,” you replied, letting Azriel lead you over to the bonfire, where you could see your sisters and mates dancing among the others.

🤍💙💖💙🤍

🤍🤍❣️🤍🤍

Mor returned just a few minutes after you finished getting dressed, in a soft, thick navy cotton nightgown, your feet clad in soft, fuzzy white slippers.

You had already set the table- another purchase from the secondhand furniture store that you had made yesterday, coming with four matching chairs. The scuffed walnut wood matched your bed frame, which had been a good enough reason for you to choose it.

And, that you'd been able to carry it home. Slowly, but you had, and you'd returned for the chairs promptly, each time apologizing to the seemingly annoyed shop owner who had said nothing each time, only stared at you over the top of his book.

You let Mor in after the first knock, giggling when you saw everything she was carrying. She had a small duffel bag, a bag filled with food, and another bag filled with... well, you weren't sure yet, but it was stuffed to the brim.

"Did you bring enough stuff, Mor?"

"Oh, hush you," Mor said, breezing past you to deposit the food on the stable, her other bags deposited next to your bed. "I brought pasta! There's a creamy one that has a seafood blend, and some good old spaghetti with meatballs. Plus-" Mor pulled another, smaller bag out. "Breadsticks!"

"Did you get anything healthy?" You asked, taking the breadstick that she handed to you and taking a bite.

"Nope," Mor said through her own bite. "I mean, unless you count tomatoes being a fruit. Which I totally do. So actually, yes."

You shook your head and laughed as you sat at the table, Mor following right after. "As long as there's tomatoes, then. What's all the other stuff?" You asked, pointing your breadstick at her other bags.

"Well, one is my clothes for tonight and in the morning, and the other is full of housewarming presents!"

You let out an exasperated sigh, but you couldn't help the smile that spread across your face. "More housewarming presents? I don't know how much of this I can take."

"Oh, you will take them happily," Mor said sternly. "They're just some small things that I thought you might need, nothing big. Though I would love to help you find a couch tomorrow, if you're up for it?"

You looked at the bag, and back to Mor. "That depends on how much you got me, Mor."

Mor smiled brightly. "Ahh, so you can be convinced. Do you want to know what they are now, or food first?" You glanced down at your breadstick, and quirked a brow at Mor. "I mean the pasta, silly. So?"

"Uhh... Presents first, I suppose, as long as the food won't get cold."

"That should be no problem, if we keep it in the bag. I'll go change into my pajamas really quick, and then you can see what I got you!"

A few minutes later you were sat on your bed, Mor beside you, pulling your first present out as you held your eyes shut.

"Go ahead and open!" Mor said after placing something that felt like a book in your outstretched hands.

It was a book- and upon opening, you saw that it was filled with handwriting exercises, and beginners words. Meant for a child, yes, but...

"Mor, thank you," you said tearily, pulling your friend into your arms. "This is- oh, this is so amazing. Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

Mor giggled beside you. "You're welcome, Y/N! I know that glass Nuala and Cerridwen gave you is helpful for understanding letters, but I also know you'd prefer to do it yourself. Now, close your eyes again!"

The two of you repeated the process over and over again, until you'd received every present Mor had picked out for you.

She had gifted you a beautiful quill set, with a selection of colored inks along with a larger inkwell filled with the standard black. A diary, in a delicate shade of pink, along with matching letter paper and envelopes, a small kit to do wax seals for when you decide to send letters. Mor had also picked out a few lovely bars of hand soap, along with two cute crystal dishes to hold them. And Mor had brought you two new blankets, one a dark blue, and the other in a dark purple.

"You can never have enough blankets, Y/N. Never," Mor said seriously as the two of you moved back to the dining table, each of you having a blanket wrapped around your shoulders.

"I agree with you completely, Mor. And really, thank you for everything," you said sincerely, squeezing her hand.

"It's my pleasure, Y/N. I'm always happy to go shopping! Now- do you want some of both dishes? Cause... I do," Mor admitted with a grin as she pulled the to-go boxes out of the bag.

"I'd be happy to have both," you giggled, grabbing another breadstick from the bag, this one slightly cooler than before. "So- tell me what's been going on with the Hewn City? Unless you want to avoid work completely."

Mor sighed as she dished out some of both pastas for both of you, onto the pretty clay plates you had bought two days ago, with painted flowers decorating its surface. "Well, Keir has been a pain in my ass, using every available connection he has to try and stop the upcoming election. He's been holding these stupid little rallies at the nightly revels, trying to convince the citizens to stage a coup. Though why he thinks that would work when Rhys or Feyre alone would be able to shut it down, I don't know. Just... He's being a pain in my ass!"

"I'm sorry, Mor. Isn't there anything that Feyre or Rhys would be able to do? Or maybe... Maybe remove him from power, imprison him for attempting to overthrow their rule?" You suggested, then took a bite of the seafood pasta- absolutely delicious, the creamy sauce complimenting the scallops, shrimp, and shellfish well, the pasta tender.

"I've tried telling them that it may be the only way forward, but they don't seem to understand how bad it's gotten as of late. Azriel's been busy in Autumn or Illyria for the past few months, and Cassian's been monitoring Windhaven specifically as of late. And Feyre is pregnant, meaning Rhys is unlikely to send her to the Hewn City without him, which would leave only Amren in Velaris. So..." Mor took a dejected bite of a breadstick.

"So you're stuck there?"

"Pretty much," she sighed. "Though I made Rhys promise to give me at least one day off every week, so I'll be able to come back home, and I'll be able to see you!"

You smiled. "Good, I'm glad. I missed you a lot over this last month, Mor."

Mor's expression matched your own. "I missed you too, sweets. Now... Tell me how everything's been going with you?"

It was your turn to sigh after you swallowed your bite of spaghetti- also delicious, with the slightly spicy sauce and meatballs.

"Things have been... They're looking up now. Now that I've moved out, at least. And working has been really nice. Things around the River House... Besides Azriel, they've been really tough for me. Nesta and Elain... They make me so uncomfortable, and they hate me for no reason. At least, that's what it feels like. And Feyre doesn't seem to care, either..." You shoved another bite of food into your mouth, letting the flavor soothe your pain.

"I'm sorry, Y/N. I really thought that Feyre would have tried to make them stop, especially after how rude they were dress shopping for Starfall," Mor said. "But I'm glad to here that things are looking up for you- And that Azriel has been sweet. And working at Sevenda's! You've done amazingly for yourself, love, all on your own. If..." Mor paused, considering her words. "If you decided to not have them in your life anymore, I wouldn't blame you. Feyre I would give another chance, but Nesta and Elain... They're taking their anger about their own situation out on you, I think. And that's unforgivable, seeing as they know how much it's hurt you."

Tears had welled in your eyes at her words, at how well she understood your feelings. "Thank you, Mor," you managed to choke out before the tears fell.

"Oh, sweets... Come here," Mor said, standing from her chair and pulling you up and into her arms, squeezing you tightly, a hand stroking your hair soothingly. "How about we do a face mask and eat chocolate? Does that sound good?" Mor asked after a while, pulling away from you a bit. You nodded your head, not trusting your voice quite yet.

"Let's do it, then."

🤍🤍❣️🤍🤍

The next morning was lazy, with you and Mor sleeping in and laying in bed for an hour, talking about everything and nothing. You felt like you were sharing hushed secrets together, like you had so long ago with Feyre when the both of you laid awake at night, your other sisters sleeping the night away as the two of you dreamed of a life you wanted to live, not just an existence of scraping by.

Eventually, you were dragged from the cocoon of your bed by your bladder, and after you had washed your hands you jumped on the bed, right on Mor.

"It's time to get up," you sang as you laid on top of your friend, giggling when she half-heartedly tried to push you off of her. "You said you wanted to go couch shopping, right?"

"Yes, but not this early," Mor groaned beneath you.

"If you want any chance of paying for it, you've got to get up now!"

"Okay, okay! You've convinced me, you're impossible to give things to unless I've already bought them," Mor laughed, and this time you let her push you off of her- not that you doubted her ability to do it if she truly wanted to. The two of you made your way into the bathroom, going through the steps of washing and moisturizing your faces. "We're stopping for breakfast in a café, though, I'm dying to have a muffin and some coffee."

"That's fine by me Mor," you laughed. "You can change in here, I'll change in the main room."

"Okay, just let me know when you're dressed so I don't accidentally peek on you," Mor said after she had grabbed her bag and returned to the bathroom. That left you to quickly strip out of your nightgown, down to your underwear. You slipped on a simple peach brassiere and into a clean, black woolen dress, in a similarly modest fashion to the one you had worn yesterday.

"You can come out, Mor," you called out, and a moment later the bathroom door swung open.

"Let's get going, I'm starving," Mor complained as the two of you slipped on your boots and outerwear, you of course wearing all of the items Azriel had bought for you. "Oo, I like these," Mor said, stroking the cape with an ungloved hand. "Did you buy it recently?"

A blush spread over your cheeks against your will. "Oh, uhm. Azriel gave the set to me, for Solstice."

A smile spread across Mor's face. "Oh? Azriel bought it for you?" Mor asked.

Your cheeks heated further at her actual question. "It's not like that, he's just being nice..." You mumbled.

"And what if he wasn't?"

You blinked at Mor for a moment, dumbstruck by her suggestion before you laughed. "No, no. I don't... That's not a possibility, Mor."

Mor shook her head. "But you want it to be- and it is. Any male or female would be lucky to have you, Y/N," Mor said gently, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. "Now. Let's go get breakfast."

🤍🤍💙🤍🤍

Three hours later, you and Mor were carrying a couch through the snow covered streets of Velaris, the legs dragging through the white powder. Its pink velvet fabric was a near match to the chair you had already bought, and had a low enough back to allow winged individuals to sit comfortably.

Not that you'd taken that too much into account, it was just a nice benefit for when Azriel came to visit.

Which he would be, tonight. The two of you had agreed to have dinner tonight, as your way of repaying him for your bed. It was the one night he would be in town this week, and since you had the day off it had seemed to work perfectly.

Mor was going out with some friends tonight at Rita's, an activity that you were fine not being involved in, and she had to return to the Hewn City early in the morning.

The two of you said goodbye in the late afternoon, a long hug and promises to coordinate time together and write to each other- you would even attempt to tell her about your week, if you were able.

You spent the time before Azriel turned up cleaning your apartment some, washing the dishes that you and Mor had used last night and putting away the gifts she had given you.

Then? You collapsed on the couch, a blanket spread over you as you enjoyed how soft the cushions were.

A shadow tangled in your hair moments before a knock landed on your door, and you shook your head at the silly little thing.

"Hello, Azriel," you said as you opened the door, face to face with the Shadowsinger, a round, covered dish in his hands. His shadows seemed antsier than usual, a few of them breaking away to swirl around your feet, a tiny smile creeping onto your lips.

His eyes tracked them, tightening for a moment before they met yours, hazel softening as he looked at you. "Good evening, Y/N."

Your smile grew. "Come in, you need to choose a recipe so that we can go shopping," you said brightly as you opened the door further, letting him into your apartment. "You didn't need to bring anything, you know."

"Thank you. I just brought dessert, and it was my pleasure. And I'd be happy to have anything you make, Y/N," Azriel said as he followed you into the kitchen, where you had two of your cookbooks set out on the counter. The ones that Nesta and Feyre had gifted you. He set the dish to the left of them, and you were tempted to peel back the foil covering it.

"None of that, you're going to choose a recipe that you want," you demanded, fully aware that you are being more assertive than you'd been with him... Well, ever.

But he seemed similar to you, in the way that you never liked to accept much of anything from others.

Azriel stared you down for a moment before sighing, a small smile creeping onto his face. "Okay. But you have to let me know if it's a recipe you wouldn't like," Azriel said firmly, waiting to open a cookbook until you had nodded your agreement. "Good."

He flicked through the pages until he settled on a dish you both thought sounded good- chicken and dumplings. "It was my favorite when I was younger," Azriel confessed as the two of you walked to the Palace of Hoof and Leaf, his shadows clearing your path as they had taken to doing over the past month.

"I can't imagine you younger, somehow," you giggled as you looked up at him, trying to imagine him as a gangly teenager. But the image never came, leaving you staring at the very masculine male next to you.

Azriel let out an amused snort. "That's fine by me, I was... I was awkward, back then. But, so were my brothers."

"You? Awkward?" You shook your head. "I don't buy it. You're too calm, all the time."

"That's now. Back then I was a nervous wreck," Azriel admitted, rubbing the back of his head.

"Well, if you're ever nervous now, you do an amazing job of hiding it," you said as you picked out the vegetables you would need, handing over your bank card to the stall owner for a moment, thanking them as you left. The vegetables were placed into the cloth bag you had brought with you, which Azriel plucked from your arms despite your protest.

"If you're paying for everything and cooking, the least you can let me do is carry the ingredients," he insisted. "Now, what else do we need?"

You looked down at your list, squinting at the poorly printed ingredients that you had written down before leaving. "Uh... Chicken, obviously."

"Right. There's a butcher shop just a few stalls down," Azriel said, leading you gently with a hand on the small of your back.

The intimacy of his touch made your breath stutter for a moment, before you reminded yourself that Azriel is your friend, nothing more.

Shopping flew by, easy, light conversation flowing between the two of you while you were in the outdoors.

Azriel carried everything for you, prying every item out of your hands after you had paid for it. But you didn't feel patronized by it, rather... You felt touched, that he wanted to carry the groceries back to your apartment, that he wanted to help out in some way. It was nice.

His helping hands attempted to extended into the kitchen, at which point you fixed him with your toughest stare, demanding that he stayed still.

"Just sit there and let me cook! Enjoy your wine!" You said to him as you dropped the dumplings into the pot. "This is me repaying you for my bed in the one way you would let me- so let me!"

Azriel sighed, but you could almost hear the smile he was wearing. "I cannot believe my shadows are siding with you."

"What?" You asked, turning away from the pot to stare at him, laughing at the sight you were met with. "Oh my- that's hilarious!" You giggled at seeing Azriel, covered in his own shadows as they held him to the chair, even lifting his glass of wine up for him.

"So you say, I find mutiny much less amusing," Azriel said, shaking his head with a smile on his face. "It smells amazing, Y/N."

Your smile grew, nose scrunching at his words. "Thank you, it should only be a few more minutes."

"I'm fine right here, no matter how long it takes."

🤍💞💙💞🤍

Azriel had left your apartment near eight in the evening last night, after he had insisted upon doing the dishes, of course. Dinner had been such a pleasant affair, with Azriel telling you about his work in Autumn and Illyria, and you talking about the small dramas of your fellow kitchen staff.

You could confidently say that you were friends now. Even better, you had gotten Azriel to agree to have dinner with you when he had a rare evening in town that wasn't taken up by court matters or inner circle dinners, though it hadn't been tough to convince the male. The next time you would see him would likely be on Saturday, though he had promised to send a note with one of his shadows if something came up.

Currently though, you were at work, nestled between Josi and Torma.

You'd woken up with an ominous feeling pooling deep in your stomach, one that you still hadn't shaken. But, you'd gotten yourself out of bed and to work; for that, you were proud.

Josi and Torma were going back and forth about where they should go for drinks that night.

"I think we should go to Rita's. Then we can dance!" Josi said excitedly, even doing a little jig, bumping her hip lightly into yours which drew a giggle from you. "See! Y/N thinks it's fun!"

"Dancing would be fun, that's true Josi. But I'm feeling more like sitting and talking a bit tonight, which is why Blue Bar would be a much better choice," Torma explained, giving Josi her best puppy dog eyes as she looked over your head.

Josi sighed. "What if Y/N comes dancing with us? Would you go to Rita's then?"

Your eyes widened at the suggestion. "I don't think-"

"Oh, please Y/N?" Torma begged, setting down her knife and putting her palms together. "Please please please? You haven't gone out with us yet!"

You scrunched your face at the idea. Drinking, dancing, and being near so many people... Was not your idea of a relaxing evening. "I'm not sure... I don't really drink," you said quietly.

"But you don't have to drink! You can just watch us be silly and bad at dancing," Josi enthused, setting down her own knife. "Come ooon, you know you want to see us make fools of ourselves!"

The thought of them stumbling around together on a dance floor did bring a smile to your face. "As long as you guys don't abandon me," you decided, your words resulting in enthusiastic high fives from your coworkers, only making you smile wider.

"Yes! Okay, we can either pick you up from your apartment at seven, or you can meet us at Rita's at the same time," Josi said.

"Uhh... Pick me up from my apartment, I think. Otherwise I might just stay home," you admitted sheepishly.

"Then we'll pick you up at seven o'clock sharp," Torma declared.

The rest of your shift passed quickly, with you leaving around five. You bid goodbye to your coworkers, promising them that you would be ready and enthusiastically awaiting their arrival in two hours.

You walked home, enjoying the slightly warmer weather that Velaris was having today. The sun was shining brightly, even as it began its descent below the horizon.

Still, even the lovely weather couldn't shake the feeling in your bones that something unexpected would happen today, good or bad.

And you were proven right when you arrived to your building, Feyre standing outside of the locked door, looking...

Angry.

Furious.

Your heart picked up in your chest, beating rapidly as you tried to assess why she would be angry... The only reason you could come up with was, well... Why you were standing outside of an apartment building.

"Hello, Feyre," you said, as neutrally as you could with your heart hammering in your chest.

"Y/N," Feyre said coldly, her hands pointing to the doorknob. "Let me in?"

Your brows scrunched together, but you unlocked the door, letting Feyre pass through before you. You led her upstairs, pausing before your door. Should you let her in...? You sighed and unlocked the door, allowing Feyre to enter your apartment. Your safe space.

You only hoped it continue to feel that way, after this visit.

"So... You moved out without telling me? Do you have any idea how dangerous that is? How worried I've been?!" Feyre growled at you once the door was shut behind you.

"Worried?" You asked with a mirthless chuckle. "You've been worried? I was gone for a week, Feyre! A week, and you couldn't be bothered to notice until Mor did!" You yelled at her, your own anger at your situation bubbling up. "Besides, it's not like I could leave the fucking city without your approval anyways, so what do you have to be worried about?! That I'm making my own life, with people who actually care about me?!" Feyre opened her mouth to respond, but you didn't give her the chance. "I felt like nothing but a burden, an annoyance in that house," you hissed. "And if you had actually cared about me, you would've noticed I moved out last Wednesday. And you would've noticed when I got a job. And you would have remembered that I cannot. Read." Tears filled your eyes as you brought up that little tidbit, the sting of it fresh whenever you thought of it. Water had begun pooling in Feyre's eyes, and you knew that if she spoke you would forgive her, even if you didn't want to. "Now get out, Feyre, unless you've decided that my apartment is now your property as well. Come back when you actually realize why I moved out," you said coldly as you opened the door, staring expectantly at her.

She did as you asked, passing through the doorway mere minutes after she entered. Feyre turned to you, her eyes sparkling with unshed tears. "I do care for you, Y/N. But you've got to stop acting like living at the River House was torture."

You scoffed and rolled your eyes, slamming the door in her face and locking it tightly.

Not that it would stop her, if she really wanted in...

You spent the rest of your time before your coworkers showed up curled in your bed, pillows piled around you and blanket pulled over your head. It was only when you peeked at the clock and saw it was ten to seven that you pulled yourself from your cocoon.

Hair brushed out and a small amount of eyeliner and pale pink rouge and lipstick applied, you quickly changed into a different dress. Your cozy black cotton dress was changed to a flowing, sapphire blue silk gown. The sleeves were loose, wider once they met your forearms, and the modest cut and floor length skirts left you feeling secure and covered. You felt pretty in it, one of the few nicer gowns you had taken from your closet in the River House.

You had just pulled on your boots and cloak when a knock fell on your door, Josi and Torma waiting outside.

"How did you get in the building?" You asked with a laugh as you locked up.

"Well, one of the other tenants had just walked in when we arrived, so we slipped inside!" Josi explained, locking arms with you as the three of you left the building.

"Ahh, that explains it."

"Yes. Now, let's get to Rita's! It's cold as balls out here," Torma groaned, taking your other arm and dragging the two of you along faster.

The air in Rita's was hot, a welcome reprieve from the winter chill outside. Josi went to order drinks for the three of you, while Torma led you over to a booth in the back of the bar.

The two of you had just settled in when Josi came back, four drinks in her hands. She set two in front of you, one was water, the other was pink and sparkling, smelling of strawberries and a hint of alcohol.

"I know you said you don't drink, but I thought I would get you something just in case! I had the bartender make it less strong for you. And if you don't have it, I'll drink it anyways," Josi giggled as she slid into the booth next to you, already sipping her own drink.

Normally you wouldn't have dared to touch alcohol, but your conversation with Feyre earlier... You could use a distraction. And, you were with your trusted coworkers.

You took a small sip of the drink, delighted at the way the liquid was fizzing in your mouth. It tasted as it smelled, primarily of strawberries with the slightest hint of alcohol- champagne, you thought.

"Thank you, Josi, it's delicious."

"I'm glad you like it! Oh- Torma, we have to dance to this one!" Josi squealed, setting her drink down and sliding out of the booth, pulling Torma along with her.

You watched them dance, sillier with each song as Josi had said they would, sipping your drink. You started feeling light, tipsy like you had at the one party you'd drank at, when you still lived in the human lands.

Maybe that was why you hadn't noticed him, until he was standing directly in front of you, wings tucked in behind him.

"Oh- hi, Azriel," you said quietly, a flush on your cheeks as you smiled at him.

"Hello, Y/N. I didn't expect to see you here," Azriel replied, sliding into the booth across from you. "You look like you're having a nice time."

You bobbed your head to the beat of the music. "I am. Josi and Torma convinced me to come out tonight. And I am glad they did, otherwise Feyre would have ruined my day," you giggled, the sting from your interaction with her not present with the alcohol running through your veins.

"You spoke with Feyre?" Azriel asked, a curious look on his face.

You sighed heavily and took another small sip of your drink. "Yeah, she was at my place when I got off work, and was mad that I moved out without saying anything. But really, it took her a week to notice!" You vented. "Not to mention she didn't even remember that I couldn't read... Nesta and Elain I understand since they hate me but..." you trailed off, a frown on your face.

One of Azriel's hands slid over your own, grasping it gently. "I'm sorry that you've been let down so thoroughly by your sisters, Y/N. I am happy to know that you're still living how you want, and making friends too."

You smiled dreamily at him. How was he so nice to you? "Thank you, Azriel. I'm glad that you're my friend, you're really nice."

Azriel smiled softly at you, his hazel eyes crinkling at the edges.

One of his shadows tangled itself in your hair, rubbing against your neck and drawing your eyes away from Azriel's. "Your shadows are so silly," you giggled, tickling the shadow with a finger.

"They seem to like you a lot," Azriel remarked, watching as more of his shadows nuzzled themselves against you. "By the way, I wanted to ask you if you're up for a surprise on Saturday, before we have dinner."

You blinked at him for a moment, your thoughts coming more slowly with what you'd drank. "Uhm... Is it a fun surprise? Or like... dragging me to a family dinner surprise?"

Azriel's lips pressed together, the corners of his mouth still tilting upwards. "A fun surprise, I promise. And if you don't like it, we can leave right away."

"Mm... Sure, I don't see why not," you said, trying to come up with what kind of surprise he would plan.

"Good," Azriel smiled. Josi and Torma had wandered back over to the table, fresh drinks for themselves in hand. "I'll let you spend time with your friends," he said, sliding out of the booth.

"Thank you for saying hi, Az," you said sweetly, smiling happily at him. "I'll see you on Saturday!"

Azriel nodded, a slight flush on his cheeks as he turned away, going back to whichever table he had been at.

"Oooh," Josi said from beside you, elbowing you gently in the side. "Someone has a crush on the Shadowsinger!"

You scrunched your face at her, but couldn't get the smile to slide off of your face. "No I don't," you whined.

"Oh yes you do," Torma joined in, poking your leg with a foot. "And I dare say he has one on you as well."

You blushed further at that idea, shaking your head. "No, no, we're just friends!" You insisted, but both of them gave you a knowing look.

"Uh-huh," Josi giggled from beside you. "Just let us know when you start dating, hmm?"

"It's not like that!" You giggled, gently slapping her on the arm. "It's not!"

Torma rolled her eyes playfully at you from across the booth. "Sure, Y/N. Now, do you want to dance with us?"

You looked out at the dance floor. You'd never been one for dancing, since you'd missed out on the years of lessons that Nesta and Elain had gotten. But...

You drained the rest of you drink, about a third of it, and scooted into Josi. "Let's go dance!"

🤍🤍💙🤍🤍

The next morning, you'd woken up with a slight hangover, which had been easily cured with a large glass of water, some dry toast, and a long bath.

Josi and Torma had grinned at you the whole day, talking about how they needed to take you out more often now.

You wouldn't say yes every time but... It had been nice spending time with them, and dancing had been more fun than you'd thought, with a bit of bubbly running through you.

The five days before you would see Azriel again- when you would know what surprise he had planned- passed by quickly at work, but dreadfully slow while you were alone at home.

You had taken to filling out the handwriting book that Mor had given you, your letters improving with every time you wrote them. And you felt you were nearing the point that you could attempt to read children's books, perhaps the book of fables that Rhysand had given to you for your birthday.

Feyre had yet to visit again, something you were grateful for. If she couldn't understand that being trapped and kept here like a forgotten pet, or worse, a chew toy for your sisters, was your problem? Then you didn't want to see her.

You were lonely while you weren't at work, but you could handle that. After all, you had time with Azriel after work today, and you and Mor were having another sleepover tomorrow night.

You had just started washing up to leave work when a shadow snuck into your hair, alerting you to Azriel's presence, likely in the dining room. You giggled at it, gently poking it with a wet finger before you dried off your hands. Sure enough, Azriel was stood in the dining room, talking with Sevenda in a hushed tone, both of them quieting when you walked through the curtain separating the kitchen from the front of house.

"Ah, Y/N! Someone came to pick you up," Sevenda said with a smile, winking at you when Azriel had his head turned.

You rolled your eyes at her, turning your attention to Azriel. "Come to take me to the surprise?"

"I am, in fact," Azriel nodded, extending a hand to you.

You took it without thinking, letting him lead you out of Sevenda's restaurant and into the snowscape of Velaris. His hands were soft, even with the scars that you knew covered them, and the calluses that you knew he should have, being a warrior and all.

His shadows were buzzing around the two of you excitedly, mirroring that of their master. Something about where you were going had Azriel as close to giddy as you could ever see him getting, a slight smile stuck to his face, his wings twitching every now and then.

Soon enough you came to a stop in front of a large building, various magical creatures painted onto the sign above the door.

Velaris... Animal... Shelter?

You blinked at the sign, confused. Surely you hadn't read that right.

"Come inside, I think you'll like it," Azriel said, gently tugging you into the building. Once inside, your ears were met with so many different sounds: meows, barks, bird trills, growls, hisses. There were a few rooms, all separated with glass walls and doors, filled to the brim with animals.

You were instantly drawn to the room housing felines- there were so. Many. Kittens!

"Oh my gods, can we go in?!" You asked Azriel, your face flushed from excitement and the cold as you met his hazel gaze.

"Of course we can, we just need to keep all of them inside the room." Azriel opened the door for you, letting you pass through first.

"Oh, they're so cute!" You squealed, approaching a pile of kittens, all conked out. You sat on the floor next to them, petting all of their fuzzy little heads and milk filled tummies, delighting in the squeaks they let out.

"This is an amazing surprise, Azriel," you told him once he sat down next to you, his wings drawing the attention of some of the active kittens.

"Being here isn't the only surprise," Azriel said. "If you'd like, you can take one home. I've already picked out some possible furniture you might like for the little one, if you decide to have one."

You gaped at him, completely shocked. "I can... I can take one home?" You asked, looking back at the kittens with new eyes. You could have a companion... Someone just for you.

"You can," Azriel said warmly, a smile on his lips when you looked back at him.

A grin spread across your face and your launched yourself at him, wrapping your arms tightly around his neck. "Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!"

His arms wrapped around you for a moment before you pulled away. "You're welcome, Y/N. I thought you might like to have a companion at home."

"Well you were right," you said giddily, turning back to the kittens. All of them were so adorable, so sweet while they were sleeping. But you would want one that was calmer while awake, matching your energy levels.

You and Azriel stayed in that room for two hours, playing with kittens and talking about what you'd both been up to over the past five days.

"The elections are heating up, and thankfully Rhys and Feyre sent me to the Hewn City to help protect the candidates going against the current leaders," Azriel told you as he let four kittens climb over him, even onto his shoulders and head. "Mor sends her love, by the way."

You smiled, both at the sight and the mention of your shared friend. "That's sweet of her, we get to have a night together tomorrow, which will be even more fun with my new little one," you said. "I still don't know which one I want, though."

"Take your time, you want to get one that you'll bond with well," Azriel suggested.

You looked around to room, trying to find any kittens that you hadn't interacted with yet. There, on one of the shelves... Mostly hidden behind a fluffy bed stuffed onto the shelf was a tiny kitten with glowing green eyes, her beautiful silvery coat shimmering even in the slight darkness of the shelf. You crawled over to her, extending a hand back to let her sniff. She hissed softly at you once, but let you run your fingers across her head, purring at the first touch.

Oh yes. This one.

She seemed slightly afraid of everything, hissing gently when you plucked her from her spot and cradled her in your arms. She was so tiny, and her fur was so soft and puffy, you wouldn't be surprised if she turned out to be a total fluff ball. Her tummy fur was the palest pink color, absolutely adorable. And her silvery fur had streaks of light tan running through it, along with slightly darker streaks of grey.

She was perfect. And the way her eyes closed as you pet her was so comforting to watch, you knew that you had found your fur child that you wanted to take home.

"I want her," you said to Azriel, tilting her in your arms so he could see her better. "She's so cute, and she seems nervous, like me."

Azriel laughed softly. "She's very cute, Y/N. Do you know what you'd want to name her?"

You looked down at her, trying to think of something that would suit her. At the same time, she let out the tiniest little squeak, that sounded like a soft 'eek.'

"M'aiq. Cause she's mine, and she made a little eek noise," you said, nodding your head at the name.

"M'aiq... That's a cute name for a cute little Starfall kitten."

"Starfall kitten?" You asked, wondering if that's why her eyes glowed green.

"Yes, every year, in the two months after Starfall, about one in every litter is born with a Starfall spirit inside of them. Or, at least, that's the explanation I've heard for why their eyes glow," Azriel explained, beginning to place the kittens that had climbed onto him back on the ground.

"Awe... You're even more special, my little M'aiq," you said cheerily, nuzzling your nose against hers.

Azriel led you out of the glass room and to the counter, where a fae took M'aiq and put her into a small carrier. He then led you into the shelter's store, where they had plenty of furniture, toys, and anything else you would need in stock.

You picked out a tall, carpeted structure that had a few platforms that M'aiq could rest on, as well as four different beds meant for small felines. A magically cleaning litter box and several food and water dishes also came home with you, as well as many, many toys.

His shadows sent everything to your apartment besides M'aiq in her little crate, which Azriel picked up for you. You tried to pry it out of his hands, but instead he slipped his free hand into yours and began leading you back to your apartment. Along the way you stopped in the Palace of Bone and Salt, picking up the things you would need for a simple pot roast dinner, seeing as you would be distracted for the rest of the evening.

Once you were inside the apartment, you immediately snagged M'aiq's crate from Azriel and pulled her out of it and into your arms.

"You're so cute," you cooed to her, petting her tiny head slowly.

You felt Azriel's eyes on you before you saw them, glancing up and smiling warmly at him. He looked away, the slightest blush on his face.

He is, too.

You placed M'aiq into one of the many cat beds now decorating your apartment, this one placed at the foot of your bed. "Stay there, sweetie, while I make dinner," you told her, her nervous green eyes on you. "I'll make you something, too, don't you worry."

Azriel was smiling softly at you when you turned to the kitchen, the expression making his face even more beautiful than normal.

You'd never understood how a male could be pretty, until now. But now you knew why Feyre called Rhysand the most beautiful male she had ever seen, because you thought that might be true of the winged male in currently in your kitchen.

"Did you need help with dinner?" He asked as you approached the bag of food he had placed on the counter.

"Hmm... I suppose since this isn't me paying you back for anything, you can help this time," you decided, setting out two cutting boards and handing him a knife. "Cut the potatoes into halves then quarter the halves, slice the carrots half an inch thick, and the onions into eighths please."

Azriel nodded and began rinsing the potatoes and carrots, while you grabbed some chicken from your cold box, dicing it after you started a flame under a pan with a bit of oil in it.

You balanced cooking the chicken for M'aiq and braising the roast while Azriel cut all of the vegetables, finishing at the perfect time, right when you needed them all to be added to the pot.

Azriel took over seasoning the roast while you fed M'aiq for the first time, grinning from ear to ear as you watched her devour half of the chicken that you had cooked for her. You'd get the portions down in no time.

With the roast in the oven, you and Azriel relaxed on the couch for a while, M'aiq in your lap.

After a little bit, Azriel had his shadows bring him a few reports after he made sure you would be okay with it, quietly filling them out with the scratch of his quill on the paper.

You decided, since you had tipsily told him that you were illiterate at Rita's anyways, that you would work on your handwriting in the book Mor had given you again, fighting the blush that had overtaken your cheeks.

But he said nothing about what you were doing, only giving you one curious glance before returning to his own work.

He was thoughtful like that. He thought about what would make you uncomfortable.

Your heart thumped in your chest at the feelings you were developing, ones that you had been fighting so hard to keep at bay.

But you were failing.

You were failing because this sweet, caring, thoughtful male did nothing but make your life brighter, Shadowsinger or not.

Doing your best to keep your attention on your workbook, you passed the rest of the time until the roast was done in a comfortable silence, the scratching of quills, crackling of logs, and M'aiq's soft purrs the only sounds in your ears.

Azriel checked the roast for you, after you had complained about having to move M'aiq when she was so comfortable and sleeping... And then he brought a bowl over to you along with a napkin, eating his own on the couch as well.

You felt so comfortable near him, even sitting so close, unaccompanied by anyone else. Two and half years ago you would have balked at the idea, the impropriety of it. But Azriel had been nothing but gentlemanly toward you, even when he had flown you up to the House of Wind.

And really... You would never be the whore that Nesta claimed you to be, after all you had never even been kissed in your twenty years of life, let alone had relations with someone. Just the thought of that sent anxiety through you. No, you would not have sex with someone until you were married, as you had been raised to do. You even... You even found it romantic, to save yourself for your future spouse.

So, being alone in your apartment with Azriel? That was an impropriety you were willing to overlook.

Azriel left your apartment near eleven at night, having spent extra time with you while you helped M'aiq settle in to her new home.

When you shut the door behind him, your heart fluttering from his presence, and now absence.

You turned your attention down to the fluffy ball in your arms. "What do you say, M'aiq? Are you ready for bed?"

Her soft squeak was enough of an answer for you. You settled her on the bed, next to your pillow while you washed your face and dressed for bed.

You laid down next to her, covers pulled up to your shoulders, with a hand poking out so you could pet her as you went to bed.

You didn't feel quite so lonely, laying in the dark now.

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As soon as you exited work, you were assaulted by way of an aggressive hug from a bouncy blonde. Mor swung you around, giggling.

"I'm so excited to see you!" Mor yelled, squeezing you tightly.

"I'm excited to see you too, Mor!" You giggled after she set you on your feet again. "So, what's the schedule like for tomorrow?"

"Well," Mor started as the two of you began walking to your apartment. "I have to be back in the Hewn City by noon, and... I have a family dinner to go to tonight," Mor said with a sigh. "So I won't be with you for dinner, but I'm planning to book it out of there and have dessert with you!"

You nodded in understanding. "That's fine, Mor, but you should come to my apartment first! I have something to show you."

"Oh?" Mor asked, quirking a brow at you. "What is it?"

"If I told you now, it wouldn't have the same effect!" You insisted as you let her into your building, following her up the stairs. Your door swung open, and you heard the skitter of claws on wood. "Oops, I think the door spooked her."

"Her?" Mor asked, looking around before her eyes locked the far wall. "She's under the bed."

"Oh, M'aiq!" You called as you pulled off your boots before crawling next to the bed. "Come on out, sweetie, Mor is your friend," you said softly, rubbing your fingers together to draw her out. No luck, though, especially when Mor kneeled down to peer under the bed. M'aiq actually hissed at her, spitting and everything. You hated that she was distressed but... She was so cute.

"Awe, she's adorable!" Mor whispered. "And she's a Starfall kitten, oh that's so sweet. You know, they tend to bond strongly to their owners, some are even able to communicate with them. Not talking," Mor giggled when you gave her a wide eyed look. "More like... Their emotions can be shared with you, similar to daemati, but it's just a connection between them and their person. Maybe your little M'aiq will do the same."

You looked back to her, where she was now sitting, pressed tightly against the wall but no longer hissing. "That would be so cool," you whispered.

Four hours later and Mor was back in your apartment, lounging on your bed with you, M'aiq laying inbetween.

"So, besides the kitten, what else is new?" Mor asked you, popping a chocolate into her mouth a moment later.

"Well..." You blushed. "I... I like Azriel..."

Mor grinned at you. "I knew you would! And honestly, I don't see why he wouldn't like you. The two of you are so well suited for each other."

You shook your head. "I don't think so Mor, I'm... I'm human," you whispered, your eyes stinging.

"And what does that have to do with anything?" Mor asked seriously, tilting your chin back up so you would look at her. "So, you're human. Why does that matter?"

"Well, because... Because I won't be around for long, and it's cruel to shackle someone to me when I'll be old and grey in such a short time," you admitted, finally giving voice to your doubts.

"Who says you'll get old and grey?" Mor asked. "Maybe there's a way for you to not age, we just haven't found it yet. And besides, it's Azriel's choice if he decides to pursue you, he would know the possible outcomes. You deserve to be happy, Y/N," Mor said softly, her own eyes shining with tears. "I know that you're stuck here, and you would prefer to be in the human lands, but you still deserve to have happiness here, and if that means having a partner? Then that's what you should do, sweets."

You sniffled at her words, willing your tears to not fall as you stroked M'aiq. "Maybe... Maybe you're right... But I still don't think he likes me in that way," you said quietly.

"Well, I think what you think is wrong. I've never seen Azriel smile as much as he does when he's with you," Mor giggled, causing you to do the same. "And the two of you look so cute together!"

"Mor, stop," you laughed. "I don't want to get my hopes up..."

"Okay, okay. I'm just saying..."

You scrunched your nose at her. "Different topic. Tell me how things have been going with the election?"

"Well..."

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Friday night you and Azriel had planned to spend the evening together, but you were surprised to see him on Wednesday evening, after knocking on your apartment door.

"Hello, Azriel," you greeted. "What are you doing here?" Your eyes darted down, seeing his shadows swirling around his legs, a few darting out to brush against your legs. But more interesting was the box in his hand, pink with a matching ribbon tied in a cute little bow wrapped around it.

"I, uhm-" Azriel stammered for a moment before taking a breath. "I came here today because I want to ask you on a date, Y/N."

Your breath caught in your throat, your heart stopping. "I- what?"

Azriel's mouth tilted up in the corners. "I want to take you out on a date. I want to spend time with you, have a chance to court you. I like you, Y/N. And I was thinking we could go out for dinner on Friday night, if you decide to say yes."

Your brain short circuited. He- he likes you?

"I- Is this a joke?" You asked in a small voice, your heart bracing for the answer you were dreading.

Azriel's eyes saddened for a moment, his hands twitching where they were holding the box. "No, Y/N, I would never joke about this. I like you, very, very much. And I would very much like it if you joined me for dinner Friday night at seven," Azriel said softly, his eyes locked on yours. They shone with nothing but the truth, soothing your worries and sending heat to your cheeks.

A small smile slid onto your lips. "I... I'd like that very much, as well."

Azriel's smile at your words set your heart ablaze, the fire of your feelings stoked by the knowledge that he shared them as well. "Good, good. This is for you," Azriel said, placing the box into your hands once you held them out, his fingers brushing against yours. Just that little touch sent flutters through you, your blush deepening. "It's Elain's recipe, the white chocolate raspberry cake that you love," he explained. "I thought, even if you did not share my feelings, that you might like something sweet anyways," Azriel admitted, rubbing a hand against the back of his head.

"Thank you, Azriel," you said softly, touched that he would still care for you, even if you'd rejected him. "I'll... I'll see you at seven on Friday?" You asked shyly, still in disbelief.

"I'll see you then, Y/N," Azriel said, raising one of your hands and pressing his lips to the back of it. "Sleep well, dear."

Your heart thumped in your chest, hard enough you thought it might beat out of your chest. "You too," you said quietly, watching as he smiled once more at you, before disappearing down the stairs.

You shut the door, leaning against it after you locked it.

Had that really just happened?

Your eyes drifted down to the box in your hands, proof that Azriel had visited, had brought you it, had... Had...

Oh gods, you had no idea of what to do for a first date!

You set the box on a kitchen counter, opening it to see an adorable, heart shaped cake, decorated with pretty pink swirls of icing. It made you giddy, knowing that the cake was a present from a suitor. From Azriel. You cut a slice for yourself and grabbed a fork, taking the plate over to the table.

The cake was as delicious as you remembered, and M'aiq jumped onto the chair next to you, watching as you ate.

"If only you could give dating advice, little cutie," you mused, having another bite. No, you'd have to go see Mor for help.

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The next morning, you knew that Mor was in town, visiting the River House to give a report on the upcoming elections to Rhys and Feyre- early, too, before you started your work day.

You bundled up early, your nerves getting the better of you. You needed her advice, and you needed it before Friday. Which meant this morning was your only option, even if it meant going to the River House...

You entered your former home, filled with anxiety. There was no way to tell how this would go, given your last encounter with Feyre, but you were determined to get what you needed, and that was a conversation with Mor.

Luckily for you, she, Feyre and Rhys were sat at the dining table, having breakfast. Mor was chugging coffee until she saw you, setting her cup down and rushing out of her chair.

"Oh, Y/N! I'm so happy to see you!"

"I am too, Mor, I was-" You looked at Rhys and Feyre. "I was hoping I could talk to you, if that's alright?" You asked nervously.

Mor glanced back at the two of them before nodding. "That's fine, sweets, what did you need?"

"Uhh... Can we go outside, to talk?" Mor nodded and followed you to the front door, slipping on her coat before leaving the warmth of the River House. You walked a little bit away before talking, you didn't want anyone besides Mor to know. "Okay, so... Remember how you said that Azriel might like me...?"

"Oh mother!" Mor exclaimed. "He asked you out, didn't he?!"

You blushed and nodded your head. "Yes, last night, and for tomorrow night. But I- I've never been on a date before," you confessed, wringing your mittened hands together. "I don't know what to do, I don't know what's expected. I've never- I've never even been kissed!"

Mor placed a comforting hand on your shoulder. "Oh, hon! Nothing will be expected except for you to give it an honest try, and to be yourself! And as for never being kissed, I could change that," Mor offered, wiggling her eyebrows at you.

You swatted her arm, shaking your head at her. "You're very pretty, Mor, but I don't like you that way," you giggled. "But... But what if he... What if he doesn't understand that I'm... saving myself," you whispered, "For marriage?"

"Y/N, if Azriel is in any way demanding sex from you, then he doesn't deserve you. I also don't think Azriel is that kind of male, he seems like a true gentlemale, in my opinion."

Her words soothed the anxieties in your chest, calming you down. "I don't think he would either," you said shyly. "But I... I also don't know what to wear."

Mor's eyes lit up even more, and she clapped her hands together. "Oh, oh! We can go shopping when you get off work today! I'll make sure I can stay in town until eight tonight, okay? And I'll see if I can come over tomorrow evening before you leave and help you get ready, if you'd like?" Mor asked.

"Really, Mor? That would be lovely," you said, hugging your friend. She squeezed you back. "Thank you, I'll see you at five, yes?"

"Yes you will, sweets. Now, you get to work, and I'll get back to that meeting. See you later!" Mor said with a wave, turning around the way you came.

Your shift passed incredibly slowly, your mind drifting to every way that the date could go right- and also wrong. You had nearly driven yourself crazy by the time you had washed up and left the building, Mor waiting by the door with two steaming cups of tea in each hand.

"Let's get shopping, sweets!" Mor said brightly, handing a tea to you and leading you to a dress store in the Palace of Thread and Jewels. It was a different one than you had gone to for your Starfall dress, for which you were thankful.

Mor lead you through the store, showing you dress after dress in styles and colors that you loved. All the while, she gave you little tips of advice, most of them along the lines of "be yourself and know that he is just as if not more nervous than you are."

After trying on ten different dresses, you settled on a rose pink silk dress with a modest neckline and floor length skirts. The sleeves billowed out before coming in at your wrists, the silk laying across your body in a flattering fashion. You could safely say that your body had filled out over the past month, what with you eating a small lunch at work and having dinner most nights. Your curves were more pronounced, a bit closer to how you had been before being taken to Velaris.

Mor had also insisted on buying you heeled boots in a matching shade of pink, a gold heart buckle keeping the strap in place. They were cute enough that you didn't fight her on accepting them.

She walked you home, parting with a strong hug and a promise to come by a bit after you got off work tomorrow.

But for tonight? You had another slice of cake, then snuggled up with M'aiq under the covers, using her purrs to chase away your racing thoughts.

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"You look gorgeous, Y/N!" Mor squealed as she stood back, having put the finishing touches on your makeup. "What do you think?"

You looked in the mirror, taking in the very light blush on your cheeks, the softly glittering pale pink eyeshadow on your lids, brown eyeliner complimenting your eyes, making them look even softer than normal.

"I agree! You do an amazing job every time, Mor," you praised, standing to hug your friend tightly. "Thank you so much for helping me get ready, today and yesterday."

"Oh, sweets, it's no trouble at all! In fact, it's been so long since my own first date that it's bringing back this memories, how fluttery your stomach gets when you see them..." Mor sighed happily. "Well, I should get going, otherwise Keir will riot."

"When are the elections over, again?" You asked as you walked her to the door.

"In two weeks, thank the mother," Mor groaned. "Then I get a nice, long vacation for three weeks."

"Just two more weeks, you can do it!" You encouraged, wishing there was something you could do to make it shorter.

"Yes, I know... And you had better tell me everything that happens tonight!"

You giggled at her words. "I will, Mor!"

"Everything!" Mor yelled as she went down the stairs.

You shut the door looking at the clock. Half past six. That was plenty of time for you to feed M'aiq her dinner and get dressed. And luckily for you, cooking something would keep your mind occupied enough to not panic about Azriel's impending arrival.

Your little child was fed and your dress pulled onto your body, pink boots slid onto your feet. All you had left to put on was your cloak, mittens and scarf, but that could wait until right before you left. Five minutes passed dreadfully slowly, and at 6:57 you pulled on your winter gear and descended the stairs after saying goodbye to M'aiq.

Waiting for you just outside the building door was Azriel, a bouquet of roses- red, lavender and white- in his hands.

"Hi, Azriel," you said, a blush instantly coming to your cheeks at the sight of him in a fine black shirt and pants, a change from his normal Illyrian leathers. The shirt clearly showcased his physique, something that you could appreciate. He had no knife belt on him tonight, his waist looked a bit barren without it.

"Good evening, Y/N." He pressed a kiss to the back of your mittened hand before pressing the bouquet into your hands. "I thought you might like some flowers," he said with a small smile, one that you easily returned.

"I love flowers, and these are absolutely beautiful," you said, raising them to your face to smell them. "And they smell lovely as well."

"I'm glad to hear it. Would you like to take them upstairs, or my shadows can, if you'd like?"

You bit your lip. If you went back upstairs... You might chicken out. "If your shadows could take them, that would be nice." In the next moment, the bouquet was out of your hands, whisked away by his shadows to the vase in your apartment. "So, where are we going for dinner?" You asked, locking your arm with his after he held it out, your hand holding onto his muscled forearm.

"It's an Illyrian restaurant, I helped the owner and his cousin leave the camps sixty or so years ago, and I've found that, except for your cooking, it's my favorite restaurant in all Velaris," Azriel explained as you strolled towards the Palace of Thread and Jewels.

"Really? That's so amazing, that you're part of the reason their dreams came true," you said, even more enamored with the male beside you. "You're going to have to recommend things to me, I wouldn't know where to start," you giggled.

Azriel smiled down at you. "How about we share a couple of dishes? That way you can try whichever ones catch your eye."

You met his eyes, a smile on your own lips. "That sounds perfect, Azriel."

His eyes sparkled as he opened a door for you, a hand on your lower back guiding you through, sending a renewed flush to your face.

You were seated a moment later, in a cozy booth near the back of the restaurant, two menus placed on the table. Azriel ordered a pot of tea for the two of you to share, which warmed your heart.

He already knew you so well.

"Now, what sounds good to you, dear?" Azriel asked, the pet name sending your heart into overdrive.

You looked down at the menu, but with your excitement and still somewhat illiterate eyes, you were lost. You bit your lip for a moment before deciding what to do. "What if you order your favorites, because I am overwhelmed by choice?" You asked, relieved when Azriel nodded his head.

"That would be their beef stew, made with Illyria native vegetables and their roasted Illyrian trout with roasted vegetables. Do those sound good?" Azriel asked. You nodded your head- both of those sounded fantastic, and you were excited to see what he enjoyed most.

When the server returned with your tea, Azriel ordered the food before returning his attention to you, the weight of it making your breath catch in your throat.

"So..." You started, entirely unsure of what to say.

"I'm glad you decided to come out with me," Azriel said, his eyes soft as they met yours.

"I am too," you said shyly. "I'm still... Shocked that you asked me to come out, though."

A soft frown slipped onto Azriel's face, and you wanted nothing more than to wipe it away. "Really? I'd thought..." Azriel's own face heated a bit. "I thought that I was rather obvious with my affections. I might be the spymaster of this court, but I'm woefully inept at hiding my own feelings, at least... When it comes to you," He admitted, voice low and gentle.

"So... We both like each other... And thought we were bad at hiding it?" You giggled.

"I suppose so," Azriel chuckled. "But truly, I am very happy that you're here tonight, with me. Now, tell me- How is M'aiq settling in?"

Now that was a subject that you could go on and on about, with only having her for a week now.

You had covered how she was doing wonderfully at your place by the time your food arrived, with Azriel dishing your plate for you. The gesture made you smile, all the little ways he took care of you already.

The food was absolutely fantastic, flavor bursting along your tongue. Both of the dishes were spicy, but not so much that you couldn't handle it.

Conversation flowed between the two of you as you ate, just as it always did. You talked about your dreams for the future, the few that you did have at this point, your brain already working Azriel into them- not that you admitted that to Azriel, it was a bit early for those sentiments. Azriel told you a bit more about his upbringing, glossing over the parts of his life before he had befriended Rhysand and been taken in by his mother. You didn't pry, but you were a little curious to know every part of his story, everything that had shaped him into the male you cared for.

Soon enough you were stuffed full of warm, delicious food, the plates in front of you empty. More than that, you were filled with joy from Azriel's company, from how he clung to your every word.

He led you from the restaurant, his hand placed on your lower back once more, the warmth of it radiating through the fabric of your dress. You walked along the Sidra slowly, leaning your head against Azriel's arm, trusting him to keep you from falling.

You were almost halfway home when you heard the most beautiful music, coming from two musicians playing next to a bar, one with a violin and the other with a cello. You slowed your pace, Azriel's arm tightening around you as you did so. Listening for a moment, and gazing up at the brilliantly shining stars above you, you had an idea.

"Azriel, would you dance with me?" You asked him quietly, tilting your head to look at him.

His eyes met yours, a smile glowing within them as well as covering his lips. "I'd be honored, Y/N. So long as you call me Az."

You smiled brightly at him. "It's a deal, Az." You let him turn you in his arms, clasping your right hands together and placing a light hand on your waist. Your other hand came to rest on his shoulder, grasping it lightly.

The two of you swayed together in a small circle to the lovely music, the light of the stars shining down on you.

It was the date of your dreams, if you were being honest. Lovely conversation and food, and such a romantic partner, willing to dance in the snow with you because you asked.

So when you finally arrived at your apartment, you were a bit sad the date was ending. But more than anything, you were excited for everything that lay in the future for the two of you.

Azriel smiled down at you softly, his eyes warm despite the cold temperatures. His wings twitched behind him, just before he leaned in a bit.

"Can I kiss you?" He asked as one of his hands came to cup your cheek gently, so, incredibly gently.

You nodded, not trusting yourself to speak. He leaned in further, allowing you to close the last, tiny gap between your lips.

And when you did, you knew that you would never be the same. His lips were so soft against yours, so gentle and sweet that it stole your breath away.

Your mouth followed for a moment when he pulled away, your eyes fluttering open- you hadn't even realized you'd closed them.

"If it's fine by you, I'd like to see you when you get off work tomorrow," Azriel suggested softly, gaze flicking between your lips and eyes.

"I'd like that," you whispered into the space between you, the tilt of his lips more than worth having to speak so soon after such a life changing kiss.

"It's a date," Azriel said with a smile. "Goodnight, Y/N."

"Goodnight, Az," you breathed, unlocking the door of your building. He waited to leave until you were safely inside, the door locked behind you.

You just managed to get into your apartment before you collapsed against the door, overwhelmed by just how perfect the night had been. How perfect Az had been.

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General Taglist: @daughterofthemoons-stuff @lilah-asteria @meritxellao @twismare

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Your neck was stiff when you came to, the beginnings of the morning sun spilling across your face.

The ground outside was glistening with a fresh layer of snow, nearly untouched at this time in the morning. It seemed even the early risers had chosen to sleep in today, after the revelry of Starfall last night.

You, however, wouldn't stay asleep any longer. Not with the cold numbness slithering through your chest, curling itself around your heart, your lungs, your ribs. An absent hand came to rub at your chest, to bring some semblance of life into your hollow heart once more.

No such luck.

A glance at the clock that had recently been placed above your bedroom door told you that it was half past six.

That gave you two and a half hours to bathe, drink tea, possibly eat something, dress, and make your way to Sevenda's.

You did just that, sinking down into hot water, a sigh leaving your lips as your body soaked in the heat. You could almost pretend you felt alive.

After forcing yourself from the bath, you dressed in a simple, dark green dress. It was made of cozy wool, and the long sleeves were easily pushed up to make whatever work Sevenda would give you easier. It fit you loosely and reached to just above the tops of your feet, something you were grateful for after last night.

The feel of all those males' eyes on you... It was unsettling then, and unsettling to think about now. You could hardly imagine wanting to be looked at like that by someone you actually liked, let alone by strangers... How could Feyre stand it? How could anyone stand it? You supposed each person was different...

You shook your head, clearing those thoughts away. No need to contemplate how inexperienced you are in the romantic world, despite what Nesta claims.

Quietly, you crept downstairs, keeping an ear out for anyone who might be awake, teapot in hand. Thankfully, no one was in the kitchen yet, and you were able to prepare a pot of tea with no interruptions. Safely ensconced in your room again, you sipped at the lovely orange and cinnamon tea you had made.

As you stared out at the still-sleeping city, your mind drifted to last night. How Feyre had had no time for you, and Mor hadn't appeared while you had been in the House of Wind. Feyre had been crowded by the citizens of her city, that was understandable... Mor not showing up worried you though, but you were sure there was an explanation. And your other sisters and their mates, well, you hadn't believed they would interact with you anyways.

Azriel had been... Surprising. Caring. Sweet, almost. Him noticing that you had left wasn't something you had even considered, with how close he had been with the pretty redheaded friend of Nesta's. And... You had become accustomed to not having your absence noticed.

Your eyes closed for a moment, a wave of sadness washing over you.

You still felt so alone.

The minutes continued ticking past as you stared blankly out the window, sipping on your tea when you remembered to.

Soon enough, it was fifteen minutes until nine, and you peeled yourself out of the armchair. Boots first, then the short cloak, scarf, and mittens Azriel had given you for Solstice- also the ones that he had draped around you last night in the cold.

You wondered how he had gotten them...

You just barely remembered to grab the cup that Sevenda had lent to you before you snuck out of the River House, into the snowy city.

The walk to Sevenda's was peaceful, quiet. Most citizens of Velaris seemed to still be sleeping, and the blanket of snow on the ground muffled everything. The silence of the normally bustling city matched the feeling in your heart.

Empty. Cold. Quiet.

Sevenda's was warm already, the smell of spices lingering pleasantly in the air when you pushed your way in through the door.

"Ah, Y/N! Lovely to see that you decided to come in," Sevenda's warm voice greeted you from the left, a hand waved in greeting.

"It's nice to see you too, Sevenda. And thank you, again. I really appreciate the offer. I brought back your cup," you added, raising your hand to show it.

"Thank you, dear," Sevenda said, taking said cup from your hands. "Would you like to get started?"

You nodded your head, and let the fae lead you to the back of the restaurant, into the kitchens. It was large, with multiple shiny, silver stoves along the back wall, three matching cold boxes, a wall completely taken up by pots, pans, anything that you would need to cook. There was also counter space galore, with two other fae already working dough in the far corner.

"For today, I'm going to see how you do with prep work, mainly with fruits, vegetables, and meats. If you do well, I'll keep you on full time, if you'd like," Sevenda said, her words sparking a bit of hope in your chest.

Chopping, dicing, cutting. You could do that.

"That sounds perfect, Sevenda. Thank you for giving me this chance."

Sevenda smiled warmly at you, and placed a gentle hand on your shoulder. "Of course, dear. Now... Are you feeling alright?" She asked more quietly, a concerned look in her eyes.

You nodded. Even though you weren't, you didn't want to rehash last night's events. "Yes, thank you." You even shot her a smile that you hoped was at least half-convincing, relieved when she returned the expression. "What should I start with?"

"First, you'll need an apron and to wash your hands," Sevenda said, leading you to the large sink, which conviently had a plethora of aprons hanging on hooks next to it.

You did as she asked, scrubbing your hands under hot water halfway up your forearm, dress sleeves already pushed up to your elbows. You tied a dark blue apron around your neck and waist, and faced Sevenda, who was pulling a cutting board from a cabinet. You noted the location, wanting to be as useful as possible as often as possible.

"I'll start you off by demonstrating how I like everything to be cut, and you'll do the same thing right after. I know it will be a lot to take in, but most of it is fairly simple. Let me know if you have any questions, alright?"

"Alright," you said resolutely, nodding your head.

The hours passed quickly, filled with you absorbing the information that Sevenda was feeding you through her demonstrations, taking in every angle that she used the knife at. You did decently, your cuts a bit clumsier than Sevenda's but still accurate enough. She was kinda, reassuring you that in time, you'd gain confidence and surety in your movements.

It was lovely.

Feeling needed. Feeling useful. You had entirely forgotten how that felt over the last two years, being the extra sister with no magic to help in a way that someone else couldn't.

By the time your shift was finished, Sevenda had pulled you aside to speak with you, anxiety building in your gut even as she smiled warmly at you.

"I'd like to hire you on immediately, full-time if you'd like," Sevenda offered, a twinkle in her eyes. "You've already got the basics down, and you're on track to catch up with my other prep cooks so long as you keep at it with the same enthusiasm you showed today. So... Would you like to have a job?"

A smile- a true, unburdened smile spread over your lips. "I'd love to, Sevenda. Thank you so, so much for this opportunity."

"Thank you for solving my dilemma of hiring a new prep cook, Y/N! Now, do you have an account with the Bank of Velaris already?"

You thought for a moment before answering. "I do... But it's the one that Rhys and Feyre set up for me. Would I be able to make a new account?"

You still felt like such a child, knowing so little about how the city you lived in worked. You had spent so long wishing and longing to leave that you'd hardly taken the time to learn about Velaris. Seeing how you were stuck here, likely permanently... The thought sent a pang of sickness to your stomach. But still, since you were stuck here, you might as well start learning about the city in which you will die.

"I'm sure that could be set up... Would you like any help with it?" Sevenda asked.

"That would be amazing, but you don't have to," you said, hoping that she didn't feel forced to help you, after your breakdown last night.

"Oh, nonsense, I'd love to help you Y/N. We can go in a few minutes, I just have a few more questions for you. Now... Would you like to work five or six days a week?"

That was an easy choice. "Six days would be best, I think." Less time in that house, waiting to be left out of events and dinner conversations.

"Alright, and if you ever want to go down to five days, just let me know and we can work something out. Do you have a specific day that you'd like off?" You shook your head. "Would Mondays be fine with you?"

"Mondays would be just fine," you replied. "Do you..." You paused, rolling the question over in your head. "Do you know of any apartments for rent? You don't have to answer, of course, I just thought I would ask," you said quickly, already regretting the question.

Sevenda merely smiled at you. "I do know of a few close by. Once you have a week or two of pay in your account, we could go look at a few sometime, if you'd like?"

You nodded quickly. "That would be amazing, Sevenda. Did you have any other questions for me?"

Sevenda closed her eyes for a moment before fixing them on you once more. "None that I can think of at the moment, but you'll be back tomorrow in case I forgot anything. Now, let's go get you a personal bank account," she said cheerily, rising from the table you had sat at. You followed her lead, letting her take you to the large, white marble building that had a large matching sign with, presumably, its name written in the large gold lettering on it.

Making an account was easy enough, and within the hour you had a small metal card, magically linked to your bank account in hand, your first day of pay already deposited by Sevenda.

You walked back to her restaurant with her, parting with a brief hug, initiated by Sevenda.

"I'll see you in the morning, Sevenda," you said, the words repeated back to you by the kind, chocolate eyed fae.

And then your legs carried you without thinking, back to the River House. The snow had melted just slightly, and was significantly more trampled than when you had arrived this morning. The sun was nearly set already, casting a pretty orangey-pink glow over the city.

Pretty.

The River House was warm when you entered, and thankfully there was no boisterous laughter coming from the living or dining rooms.

A part of you still longed for someone to ask where you were, what you had been doing all day.

But you knew better by now. And you were proven correct when no one came to greet you, even while you made a small dinner of rice with grilled vegetables. You even ate in the dining room, a rarity for you in the past months, the tiniest part of you hoping that Feyre might come in to talk with you. Or that Mor would show up, and you could spend part of the evening together.

Neither happened, and soon enough you were back in your room, a fresh pot of tea in hand, soothing, calming lavender and chamomile again.

You had enjoyed your day at work, but it had exhausted you. All you wanted at the moment was to fall asleep, but you chose to do something else before crawling into your makeshift bed in the tub tonight.

You would try to read. With your gift from the twins in hand, you pulled the cookbook that Nesta had gifted you, filled with lovely illustrations of soups and stews from all corners of Prythian.

Slowly, you let the magnifying glass read out the title a few times, your brain trying to make sense of the letters on the cover turning into the words you were hearing. It was embarrassing, how long it took you to be able to understand a sentence, even with it being read aloud to you. Heat rushed to your face, even with no one in the room to witness your shortcomings.

You tried reading a recipe, going one word at a time with the glass. That... Sort of worked, though it was slow going. And you felt like the only reason you were mildly successful was that the words were being read aloud to you.

How pathetic.

You sighed heavily before draining your last cup of tea and shutting the recipe book. That was enough of disappointing yourself for the night.

You stripped yourself of the dress you'd donned the morning, changing into a soft, long sleeved white cotton sleep dress that met the skin of your ankles, swishing softly against them with each step.

Sleep came easily to you that night, your body tired from doing so much work when it had grown accustomed to sleeping all day and rarely moving. It was a pleasant kind of tired, though, letting you drift into a peaceful sleep.

The next morning went much the same, with you rising before the sun to bathe and have a soothing pot of tea. Work flew by, with you completely focused on improving your knife skills for the seven hours you were there, determined to not let Sevenda down.

Before you knew it, you'd already worked three days in Sevenda's homey restaurant, settling in comfortably, even with the other fae you now worked with. Josi and Torma were the other two prep cooks, and both of them had been warm and welcoming to you. Sevenda's sous chef, Wren, had been a little less friendly, but you'd noticed that he was like that with everyone except Sevenda. He wasn't rude, or anything, just quieter.

It was on your fourth morning of work, a Saturday, that your routine was interrupted.

Azriel was in the kitchen, patiently watching a pot of oatmeal cook, shadows playing around his wings and over his shoulders, a couple of them breaking away to crawl up to his ears.

"Good morning," you said quietly, going to the cupboard that housed the kettle.

"Good morning, Y/N. You're up early," Azriel remarked in a neutral tone, neither judging nor questioning.

"Mm, thought I'd have a cup of tea before everyone else was buzzing around..." You said, feeling mildly guilty that you hadn't told him the full truth. You set to filling the water and setting it on the burner next to the one Azriel was using, then turned to grab your teapot. "Would you like a cup?" You asked before you could stop yourself and consider the possibility of being rejected, even for a simple cup of tea.

"I would very much, Y/N, thank you. Would you like some oatmeal? I'm afraid I've made too much..." Azriel said softly, a tiny frown on his face as he stared at the pot before him.

A small smile grew on your face at his reaction. "That would be nice, thank you." You pulled two of your teacups out of the cupboard. A few minutes later, the two of you were sat on stools at the kitchen island, a bowl of oatmeal and a cup of tea in front of each of you. The oatmeal was delicious, flavored with cinnamon and brown sugar, which paired well with the apple cinnamon tea you had brewed.

You ate in a comfortable silence, occasionally stifling a giggle when a shadow brushed over you, their cool touch tickling the back of your neck and your ankles. Curious little things...

Soon enough, though, it was time for you to depart from the River House, and return to the one place that you felt wanted in this city. Azriel had finished his breakfast as well, so you grabbed his dishes, ignoring his protests in favor of washing them.

"You don't have to do that, you know."

You rolled your eyes playfully, even though he couldn't see your expression. "I know that, I wanted to." Bowls, cups, silverware were all placed in the dish rack, clean and shiny from the water dripping off of them. Once that was finished, you returned to your room for a brief moment to grab your scarf and hat, and when you returned downstairs Azriel was lingering near the front door.

"Going somewhere?" Azriel asked neutrally, only a bit of curiosity in his tone.

You blinked at him once, twice. Strange, that it would be him who would know that you were employed first. "Yes, I'm going to work," you said plainly, hoping that his neutrality would continue. While you wanted your sisters to know... You wanted them to find out because they paid attention, not because Azriel had.

"Oh? Could I walk you there?" His question caught you off guard- if anything, you had anticipated him asking if Feyre or Rhys knew or had approved of the job. In your surprise, you nodded in agreement, and moments later the two of you were out the door, walking through the fresh layer of snow that had fallen overnight. You noticed a few of his shadows moving in front of you, pushing some of the snow from your path.

Cute.

"How long have you been working?" Azriel asked from your right, following the path you were taking.

"Just a few days, so far," you replied, trying to give the minimum information so you wouldn't bore him... Starting a new job was hardly an accomplishment for a fae of his age.

"Are you liking it?"

You nodded immediately. "I'm loving it already, working with food is probably the most natural choice I could have made." Too many words...

"That's wonderful, Y/N. It's nice to see you smile again," Azriel said softly, drawing your eyes to him. He was wearing a small smile on his lips, one that you realized matched your expression. A light flush spread over your cheeks- was your happiness always so obvious?

"It's nice to feel like smiling again..." You said quietly, more to the air around you than Azriel himself.

Sevenda's was in sight now, and you slowed your pace. While Azriel may just be being nice... He was still being nice to you. And having someone be kind to you was something you craved nearly every second of every day, so you wanted to savor it, even if it was selfish.

"Do..." Azriel paused, as if he was considering his words carefully. "Does Feyre know that you're working? She hasn't mentioned it."

"Uhm... No, I haven't told anyone yet," you admitted.

You saw Azriel nod his head in your peripheral, and you hoped it was one of understanding.

"Do you want them to know?"

You hesitated. "If you're asking if you can tell them... I'd rather you not."

Another nod as you approached the door to Sevenda's, stopping in front of it. "I won't tell them, then. Sevenda's, hmm?" You bobbed your head in confirmation. "That's good, she's a great boss from everything I've heard."

"She's amazing, if I can be honest," you said, gratitude in your voice. And she was. She had been so kind to you, and so helpful.

"I'm glad, Y/N," Azriel said, his voice the warmest that you had ever heard from him. "I'll let you get inside. Have a good shift."

"Thank you, Azriel. Have a good day," you said, waving goodbye to him before entering the warm restaurant, a smile on your face.

Your day passed quickly, filled with the delicious smell of spices and fresh cut vegetables, the sounds of sizzling meats and bubbling stews. This job at Sevenda's was truly a blessing, distracting both your mind and body as you listened to the friendly chatter between your coworkers and focused on what you were doing.

The River House sounded empty when you returned, completely devoid of sound. No running water, or voices in the living room. The entire night, you saw no one, not even Nuala or Cerridwen. You even spent a few minutes sipping tea in the living room - though you left quickly, feeling out of place even while alone - hoping to see Feyre for a moment. You hadn't seen her since Starfall, and... You wanted to see her. You also would have been able to ask her where Mor was, but alas, the question would have to wait.

The next evening, after your final day before having a day off, you saw Feyre for the first time in five days. She was glowing with happiness, both naturally and from the magic you knew she had gotten from... One of the High Lords - you still weren't sure which.

"Y/N! Come, sit with me for a little bit," Feyre said, dragging you onto the couch in the living room with her. You had just barely gotten your boots and scarf off before she met you in the entryway. "I feel like I haven't seen you in forever."

"It has been a bit," you agreed, settling in beside her. You glanced around, noting that Nesta and Elain were seated next to each other on the love seat, angry stares trained on you.

At least they weren't glaring yet...?

"So, how have you been?" Feyre asked you, drawing your attention away from your other sisters and back to her.

"I've been fine, Fey. Just..." You debated telling her about your job. That would also mean Nesta and Elain knowing... But... You wanted Feyre to know. "I've been... I've been working."

Nesta scoffed from where she was seated, whispering something to Elain. You frowned. What problem could she possibly have with you having a job?

"Really?" Feyre asked skeptically. "You... Where are you working?"

Her tone, the sheer disbelief in her voice had you regretting ever opening your mouth. Being honest was obviously not a good choice for you anymore. "At Sevenda's restaurant..." You said quietly, met with a dainty snort from Elain. Heat rushed to your face, especially when Feyre frowned at you, as though she didn't believe you.

"Really? That's... That's really nice, Y/N. I'm happy for you," Feyre said with a strained smile. You didn't believe her for a second.

Still... "Thank you, Feyre. What about you? How have you been feeling?"

"Tired," Feyre moaned dramatically, a hand on her forehead. "The little one seems to be draining all of my energy, I've had to start eating double what I normally do just to feel like I can function."

"Maybe you can stop by Sevenda's when Y/N is working," Nesta suggested in a snarky tone, causing Elain to giggle into her hand. "If she even works there... What Sevenda would need with you, I have no idea."

Tears pricked at your eyes, though you fought them. Why were they so mean to you?

Feyre glared at Nesta, but said nothing in your defense.

She probably agreed with Nesta's words.

"I'm sorry that you're feeling so exhausted Feyre. Maybe there's something that could be taken off your plate for a little bit, until you're feeling better?" Another scoff from Nesta.

"I don't think there is, Y/N. It takes a lot to run a court..."

You knew that. Of course you knew that. "Oh... Well, I hope that you feel better soon, then. I'm... I'm going to go take a bath. I'll see you later?"

Feyre nodded. "I'll see you later. At dinner?"

There was no way in hell you would be showing at dinner tonight. "Maybe," you said, standing from your place next to her. You made your way out of the living room, ignoring Nesta and Elain's glares, up the stairs and into your room.

Happy. You had been happy when you returned home. You were proud of the fact that you had gotten a job. And yet the three people that should have cared, should have shared in your happiness and pride? They couldn't care less. They didn't even believe you.

That only served to solidify your choice to leave this cursed house as soon as you could, to continue in your plan to have your own living space. And, of course, it put tears on your cheeks, on the blanket that you curled into as you laid in the bathtub.

🤍🤍💖🤍🤍

In your first three weeks of work, you never saw Mor. You did, however, receive a letter from her on your first day off, read to you by the glass the twins had gifted you. She had apologized profusely for not showing up to Starfall, though she had a good reason. The citizens of the Hewn City had demanded to have a member of the High Lord's Inner Circle stay with them through the celebration, and as the only one already there, that duty had fallen to her. And in the week since, she had been constantly fighting with Keir over the upcoming election that was planned, hardly having a moment to herself.

Which was why the letter had taken so long to be written.

You felt horrible for having thought she had abandoned you, though you knew there was a reason you had jumped to such a conclusion.

Every week since then, Mor had managed to find the time to write you a letter, each one asking about how you had been, informing you of the lastest bullshit her father had put her through. You looked forward to each letter from her, but wished that you could see her in person, or at least write a letter in response. You missed your friend. According to her most recent letter, the one that had arrived two days ago, she would be returning to Velaris for a few days in the next week.

You were excited to see her again, but more than that, you were excited to move into your apartment today.

Sevenda had shown you to two different available apartments last week, and on Monday you had signed your lease. The building was only a couple of blocks away from Sevenda's, and it was a cute little place on the third floor, with a balcony that had a decent view of the mouth of the Sidra and the harbor. You already knew that you would be taking your tea on it once the weather had warmed, the view was too amazing to pass up an opportunity to look over.

The walls inside had already been done in a shade of light pink the day before, the cabinets of the kitchen coated in a pale lavender, a move in gift from your new landlord. It was a small space, that was true. Besides the bathroom and built in closet, the apartment was one large room, with no walls separating the living room from the kitchen, the kitchen from the bedroom.

But you didn't mind.

Because it was yours.

And truly, how much space did you need? There would be enough room to have a small dining table, a loveseat and a couple of armchairs in front of the fireplace - which you had been absolutely delighted to see - and a large bed. You could even put up screens or curtains to partition off your bedroom, if you felt like it.

The possibilities felt endless as you lugged your small amount of belongings over to your new place, bursting at the seams with happiness.

Today, Sevenda had given you the day off so that you could move in, though you had tried to insist that you wouldn't need the whole day. Still, she had made it clear that you deserved the day to settle in and purchase whatever you needed, even going as far to give you a week of advanced pay.

Moving your belongings took you less than an hour, even in the snow, and only three separate trips between the River House and your apartment. The presents you had recieved for your birthday and Solstice, the clothing that you couldn't part with, skincare items, and your hairpin all went with you, but everything else in your old room stayed.

You had decided against informing anyone of your move, choosing instead to quietly remove your things. If they truly cared about you, they would notice your absence soon.

If they didn't... You would deal with that if it came.

By midday, you were shopping in the Palace of Hoof and Leaf, on the hunt for cookware. You already had the wonderful measuring cups and spoons that Nuala and Cerridwen had gifted you, as well as your tea set from Azriel, but you would need a bit more than that to be able to cook at home.

That lead to you entering a lovely little shop, filled to the brim with pots, pans, and cooking utensils in every color of the rainbow.

For now, you only bought one frying pan and one pot with a lid, both in a shade of pink that matched your measuring cups. You also purchased a set of three mixing bowls in the same shade, made of a light but durable clay. A spatula, wooden spoon, whisk, and a set of silverware also came home with you, along with a few cleaning supplies that the store happened to carry, but anything else could wait for now.

You carried your bounty home, arms sagging under the weight of your purchases as you climbed the stairs to your apartment. Everything was put away in a matter of minutes, and you allowed yourself to relax on the floor for a bit, letting your arms flop out to the sides.

You could hardly believe it... A smile crept across your face as you lay on the floor of your own apartment, that you had earned the money for. You had done this for yourself, all on your own.

Once your arms felt less weak and tired, you sat up and looked around the room. It was... Fairly barren. Your pink bedding set and blanket from Mor were in the far right corner of the apartment, the box of your clothing placed next to it. Near the door to the bathroom you had placed your box of toiletries, and in the kitchen you had already stacked your cookbooks and teas on the counter and placed your dishes in the cupboards.

You needed some kind of furniture tonight, if you could manage to find something your weak arms could carry home.

And towels! How had your forgotten about towels? Oh- and food, you would need something at least for tonight.

You let out a breath. Maybe Sevenda was right, that you would need most of the day to get settled. You got up after another moment and put your boots back on, along with your hat and scarf.

A trip to the Palace of Thread and Jewels provided you with the towels you needed, in an assortment of pastel shades and sizes, as well as a fluffy purple bath mat. You even remembered to pick out two fluffy pillows as well, just in case you slept on the floor or in the tub tonight. As you were leaving the Palace, you couldn't help but pick out a soft, sky blue blanket one of the outdoor stalls, the green skinned fae bidding you farewell with a kind smile. You walked home, snow beginning to fall just before you entered the building.

You deposited your bags on the floor to the left of your front door, and set down the stairs immediately after locking up. Before the snow started to accumulate, you wanted to get a chair or something so that you would have a place to sleep for the night. If you couldn't find anything... Well, the bathtub looked to be the same size as the one in the River House.

When you had been out earlier, you thought you had spotted a second hand store, filled with mismatched furniture. You retraced your steps, and found it to be in the middle of the Palace of Thread and Jewels.

Inside, it was cluttered, with small paths leading through the building. It was near the back of the store that you found something you might like- a tall backed, wooden chair with a pink velvet cushion and backing, the legs of the chair curved and elegant.

Why would someone ever part ways with this?

You continued to the back of the store, finding a pale, short fae male sitting behind a counter, reading a book.

"Hi, I'd, uhm... I'd like to buy a chair that you have?" You asked shyly.

"Which one?" He asked, without looking up from his book.

"The uh. The wooden chair with pink velvet on it."

"Fifty gold marks," the male said shortly, a hand extending to take your bank card and press it to his ledger, all while continuing to read. He handed it back a moment later. "Have a good day, miss."

"Thank you," you said quietly before leaving the counter, going to collect the chair into your arms.

The walk home was slow going, the chair decidedly too big for you to comfortably carry for more than a few steps at a time. But still, you made it, dragging the piece of furniture up the stairs and through your door. You managed to lug it in front of the fireplace, settling into it for a moment.

You almost decided to skip getting ingredients for dinner... But your stomach rumbled in protest, at the thought of continuing to neglect your health in favor of avoiding discomfort. So instead, you pulled yourself from your new chair, then went back down the stairs and into the snowy city one last time today.

The Palace of Hoof and Leaf was a bit further than the Palace of Bone and Salt, but you knew where to find what you were planning to cook for dinner. It was easy enough to find rice, chicken, zucchini, broccoli, and a small set of spices, a large enough selection to satisfy you for at least your first month. Snow had begun to fall heavily while you had been in and out of shops, already covering the tracks that had been on the bridge when you had crossed it earlier, and when you finally made it up the stairs and through your front door, you were feeling tired.

Tired enough that for the moment, you placed the chicken in your cold box then walked over your chair, and plopped down.

You would consider today a success, even with how tired you now were. After all, you were tired in your chair, in your apartment.

🤍🤍💙🤍🤍

Two days after you moved, you had an unexpected knock on your door, just a few minutes after you returned home from work.

Perhaps it was finally Feyre, realizing that you had moved.

You were proven wrong when you opened the door, however, to see Azriel standing before you, a cloth bag filled to the brim with little jars.

"I- Hello," you said, surprised at him being here, even if he had taken to walking you to work on the mornings he was in town. "Can I- Can I help you?"

"I just returned from Illyria, only to find one of my shadows to be very frantic over the sudden emptiness of your room," Azriel said, though there was no accusation in his tone. "And after I spoke with Sevenda, she... She directed me here. I hope that's alright?"

You were even more surprised by the efforts he had gone to to find you, than his presence at this point. "That's fine, Azriel. Was there a reason you wanted to see me?"

"I... Yes," Azriel said, somewhat shyly, and you swore that you almost saw a flush covering his cheeks. "You never did tell me which teas you enjoyed, so I brought you a jar of each. I thought you might like to have a bit more, now that you're living on your own."

That was... Incredibly sweet of him to do. You were running low on your tea stash at the moment, and knowing that he'd thought of you...

Don't get any feelings, or hints of feelings, you reminded yourself. Humans and fae don't belong together, no matter how kind and attractive they are.

"Thank you, Azriel," you said, stepping aside to let him through the doorway. It was only polite, after all, to let him in. "I'll take those," you said as you grabbed the bag from his hand, moving into the kitchen to take arrange the little jars on your counter.

"You don't have a bed," Azriel observed from behind you, a hand on your chair, where your blankets were still piled.

"Oh, I'm uhm... I'm still working on that," you said sheepishly, abandoning your task of organizing the jars. Your eyes darted over everything, looking for anything else he could find issue with.

"Let's go solve that, then."

"I- What?" You asked, thoroughly confused. He was offering to go shopping with you...?

"We can go find you a bed today, Y/N. You need something to sleep on, and while a chair is fine for a little bit, it really would be best for you to have a bed," Azriel said simply. You were still staring at him in shock, so he sighed lightly and said, "Think of it as a housewarming gift, Y/N. You can pick out whatever you want, and my shadows will bring it here for you."

"I- But... Why?" You managed to get out, even as you mentally kicked yourself for being so awkward.

Azriel's mouth turned up in the corners at your reaction. "You need a bed, and I'd like to know that you're sleeping comfortably."

"But... Why?" You repeated, still confused.

Azriel sighed and shook his head. "You're my friend, Y/N, I like to know that my friends are well taken care of. And that starts with a good night's sleep, which starts with a bed," he explained as he walked over to your closet, pulling out the scarf and hat that he had gifted you. He wrapped the scarf around your neck and put the hat on your head, lips turning up more as you stood there and let him. "Now get your boots on, unless you really don't want to go."

Your eyes narrowed playfully at him, but you did as he said, slipping your boots on and lacing them up. "Alright... Thank you, Azriel."

His lips turned up into a full smile this time, a beautiful sight on his face. "You're welcome, Y/N. Now, let's get going before it gets too dark."

You let him lead you across the Sidra, to a shop in the Palace of Flame and Steel that specialized in wooden furniture.

"Pick out whichever one you like most," Azriel had told you, with a pointed look telling you that he would know if you tried to pick the least expensive option.

He watched as you went from bed to bed, mattress to mattress trying to find the right combination. You had been in the store for nearly an hour by the time you made your choice, settling on a walnut frame. It had a nice headboard, with little creatures carved into the posts on both sides, a feature that was continued at the corners of the end of the bed. Some of them looked like little cats, a pet that you had always wanted to have but never could afford in the human lands, and when you had been able to, your family had firmly shut the idea down.

For the mattress, you had laid on one that felt like a cloud, supporting your body in a way that you had never experienced. Perhaps... Perhaps Azriel was right, after all.

You felt dreadful, though, as he paid for your new furniture, even as he reassured you that it was a housewarming present and he was more than fine paying double the amount if he had needed to.

He walked you back to your apartment, and, as promised, your new bed was already set up along the back wall, looking extremely inviting even without bedding on it.

"You should let me repay you," you insisted to Azriel, a hand on his forearm stopping him from leaving. "I can't... This is too much," you said.

Azriel's eyes shined with understanding as he read the guilt in your own. "It's okay, you know. To be given things, without the need to reciprocate. But... If you still feel that you need to repay me, I suppose you could make me dinner some time," Azriel suggested.

You narrowed your eyes at him. "Are you sure I can't pay you back?"

He shook his head. "The only payment I will accept is in the form of food, Y/N. Again, this is a housewarming present, it is a gift that I am giving to you of my own free will. I am, however, partial to your cooking, which is why I would accept that as payment."

You sighed, but nodded your head. You would pay him back with food, as often as he liked. "What days are you in the city?"

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It took two more days before Mor was in town, which you found out about two hours into your shift when she burst into Sevenda's, speaking loudly enough that you could hear her in the kitchen.

A moment later Sevenda appeared, your blonde friend in tow.

"Y/N!" Mor exclaimed, pulling you into a hug once you had set down your knife. "Oh, girl, I have missed you so much!"

You squeezed her back tightly, overjoyed to see her again. "I've missed you too, Mor!"

Mor pulled away a moment later, her face serious. "Where are all of your things? I went up to your room in the River House to see you, and none of your stuff is there! Feyre had no idea either..."

A flush spread over your cheeks. "Oh, uhm... I moved out?" You said hesitantly.

Mor blinked at you a few times before a smile slid over her face. "You... Moved out?" She giggled. "And you didn't tell anyone? Was it this morning?"

You shook your head. "No, it was on Wednesday," you admitted softly, turning your gaze to the floor.

"And Feyre didn't... Oh, sweets," Mor cooed, pulling you into another hug and stroking your hair. You pushed her away after a moment, face bright red at being comforted in front of your coworkers.

"It's okay, Mor, really. I've already accepted that they don't notice me," you said, hoping that you had successfully hidden your pain. You may have accepted that your sisters pay you no attention, but it didn't mean your heart didn't hurt.

Mor frowned at you, but accepted your answer for the time being. "Well, when are you off work? I can stop by again, and you can show me your apartment!"

"I'm normally off right around five, you could come back then."

"Sounds like a plan, sweets!" Mor said brightly before leaving the kitchen, waving at you before being shooed out by Sevenda.

You quickly got back to work, determined to make the day pass by quickly.

And it did. The next five hours went by fast, filling you with a feeling of accomplishment as you finished everything Sevenda had asked you to do a few minutes faster than usual. Something as simple as that made your day so much brighter, easier to fight away the feeling of loneliness that followed you most hours of the day.

Mor met you outside as she'd said she would, a shining ray of sunlight even as the sun had begun to set.

"So- I leave town for a few weeks, not that I wanted to," Mor grumbled as you linked arms with her and began to lead her to your apartment. "And when I come back, you've already had a job for three weeks and you've moved into your own apartment? I am so proud of you Y/N."

You blushed at her words, but still allowed yourself to soak them in. "Thank you, Mor. I'm glad that you're okay with it."

Mor frowned. "Why wouldn't I be okay with it? I think it's amazing that you decided to move out, everyone deserves their independence."

You nodded, but your thoughts were on your sisters... What they surely thought of you, leaving without a word... "It's just... I don't know. My sisters... Weren't very supportive of me even having a job, let alone having my own apartment."

"Oh, hon, don't worry about them. I think they're just jealous of you having your own life outside of our little circle. Now, Nesta and Elain... They could certainly use a talking to," Mor hissed. "And Feyre isn't much better, letting them get away with their behavior."

You shook your head. What would they have to be jealous of? Being lonely? Having at most three friends, if you were being generous with the term? "It's fine, Mor, really. I've stopped expecting them to act any certain way, it's just... Easier."

Mor sighed next to you. "I suppose so... Anyways, tell me what's been going on!" Mor said cheerily, sensing your hesitancy to speak about your sisters.

"Well... Not much, beyond the moving out and getting a job. Although..." You thought about Azriel, how you now considered him a friend- and he thought the same of you. "Azriel has been very nice, he brought me some tea blends when he found out I moved. And helped me find a bed."

"Oh, I'm sure he did," Mor said suggestively, wiggling her eyebrows at you. You smacked her arm lightly and shot her as much of a glare as you could muster.

"Not like that Mor!" You exclaimed, blood rushing to your cheeks at her insinuation. "He helped me go to a store and his shadows brought it back to my apartment."

"Oooh," Mor laughed. "Okay, I misunderstood, Y/N. I'm glad that he's been a good friend to you while I've been away."

"I am too, Mor," you said softly, a hint of a smile on your lips.

You unlocked the front door of your building, letting Mor pass through the doorway before you, then led her up the stairs.

"Three flights? I must be spoiled, only having a flight to go up one at my place," Mor said by the time you reached the top, your fingers fumbling for the correct key.

"It's not all that bad, Mor," you giggled as you swung the door open, letting her go in first, and closing the door softly behind you.

"Oh, Y/N! This apartment is so you!" Mor said brightly as she looked around. "The bed looks amazing." She flopped down on it, sighing happily after she did. "You chose good, sweets."

"Thank you," you giggled, plopping down next to her. "I'm so glad the owner was willing to paint, it saved me from trying to do it myself."

"And it looks lovely too, and as I said, very you. So," Mor started, a hand flung onto your thigh. "I thought, if you have a day off while I'm in town, we could do a sleepover again! Either here or at my apartment, whichever you'd prefer."

"That sounds lovely Mor. If you're still here tomorrow, and you don't have plans tonight, I have tomorrow off," you offered.

"That's perfect! I'll go get a change of clothes and pick up some food on my way back, if that works for you, Y/N."

You nodded. "That sounds like a plan to me, Mor. I'll see you in a little bit?" The two of you stood from your bed, Mor's hair the tiniest bit rumpled from being squished against your mattress.

"Yep! Any preferences on food?"

You shook your head. "Anything is fine by me Mor, get whatever you've been missing while in the Hewn City."

Mor's face scrunched up at the mention of the Hewn City. "Don't remind me," she groaned. "I think I'll get some kind of pasta. Pasta sounds perfect for a sleepover."

"That sounds good to me. Walk safely, Mor, it's been slick out at this time recently," you warned, smiling when Mor winked at you playfully.

"I'm always careful, sweets. See you in a bit!"

You shut the door behind her, a smile on your face. You hadn't realized just how much you had missed your friend until you saw her again.

Not wanting to waste your alone time, though, you pulled yourself into the bath, determined to finish before Mor returned. While you didn't feel disgusting, you felt a bit dirty from work still, and if you're spending the night with Mor you'd like to smell decent.

Still, you let yourself relax in the steaming water for a few minutes, bubbles coating the water's surface. Your lungs expanded and collapsed rhythmically, lulling your heart into a state of peace.

Maybe... Maybe you could belong in Velaris.

Maybe it was your sisters that you didn't belong with, any more.

But with Mor? With Azriel? At work? You felt like you had begun to carve out a tiny little place for you to exist peacefully, if not happily.

A deep sigh left you.

You wished... You wished you could belong with your sisters once more. Your heart longed to see them, to share your joy with them. But... They never seemed to share in it with you.

So, you would settle for carving out a space for yourself.

No, it's not settling, you told yourself as you began to scrub at your body with a cloth. It's choosing to live, not to merely exist.

You may not know what you want out of life, but you're willing to find out now.

You willing to try your hand at living once more.

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