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“Hey, AJ?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m going away for awhile.”

Abbiejean blinks as if she was expecting this. Probably because she was expecting this. Still, she can’t stop her mouth from twitching into a brief frown. “Why?”

He shoves his pocket knife in the folds of his polo shirt. “I owe a lot money to some Italian assholes.”

“So they’re coming after you?”

“Yes.”

Abbiejean picks at the hole in her stocking, making the fabric rip even more. Lana’s going to be pissed when she sees that Abbiejean managed to ruin another pair of stockings.  They cost a shit ton and AJ needs them fot her stupid private school uniform. Archer makes a mental note to stash some extra cash for her somewhere in their room so she can buy a new pair.

Abbiejean rubs against the bare skin showing through her stockings. “Where are you gonna go?”

Archer places his toiletry bag full of rounds into his suitcase. “I’m thinking South. Maybe Cuba.”

“Grandma said you were banned from Cuba because you messed up the gene pool with your crazy sex benders.”

Archer frowns. “Grandma says lots of things.”

Abbiejean sighs. “Should I count on you to come back?”

Archer stops. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Are you gonna come back?”

“Of course I’m gonna-. What made you even think that I wasn’t gonna come back?” he asks, upset that Abbiejean would even think something like.

Abbiejean pulls her legs up to her chest and hides her face with her knees. He can tell she’s about to cry from the way her chest rises and falls. “I don’t know. You were gone for three months last time.”

“AJ, I swear on every bottle of gin in the world that I’m gonna come back to you.”

She lifts her face up and her blue eyes are wet with tears. “Promise?”

Archer always hated these kinds of conversations. Promises aren’t easy to keep and are even easier to break. But still, he’ll promise for her. Anything for her. “Promise.”

Lana’s up because of course she’d have a craving for something sweet in the middle of the night because, of course, the baby in her body has no concept of time and wants to eat.

Lana walks into the kitchen, hair mussed from all her tossing and turning and her purple robe wrapped around her. She lets out a heavy sigh as she opens the fridge door in search of something to eat.

“Wow, you look like hell.”

During S7, pre-Liquid Lunch

Lana looks at the clock when her phone starts ringing. It’s almost twelve and no one on the Earth should be calling her this late unless it’s-.

She looks at the phone screen and sighs. Of course, it’s Archer.

“Why are you up?” is the first thing she says.

Archer chuckles. “Well hello to you, too.”

“I’m serious, Archer. Don’t you have a meeting with a client at seven tomorrow?”

“I do but-.” AJ lets out a loud cry in the background and Archer pulls the phone away from his ear. “Holy shit, Lana, what are you doing to our child?”

“She has a fever, dick, and she can’t sleep,” Lana grumbles as she tries to put a cool towel on her head. AJ wiggles out of her arms and slides onto the floor, swatting Lana’s hand away.

“Did you give her any medicine?” he asks.

“I’m trying but she won’t let me do anything to her. I think she’s just plain pissed.”

“Is anything else wrong with her?” he asks, genuinely concerned now.

“She’s got a runny nose but that’s it.”

“Alright, I’ll be there in twenty minutes.”

“What?! Archer! Archer!”

The only response she gets is a dial tone.

Lana opens the door and he’s standing there, in a polo and khakis, slightly more sober than usual and a bag in his hand.

“Why did you come here?” asks Lana as she readjusts AJ on her hip. AJ stops crying for a moment when she sees Archer, but starts up again after a brief moment of silence.

“To care for my child, Lana,” he says. “And to help you. Jesus, you look like hell.”

She rolls her eyes. “Y'know-.”

He holds up the grocery bag full of items. “I bought her some ice cream to cool her down and baby aspirin and a VHS of The Jetsons to distract her until she falls asleep.”

Lana raises a brow, surprised that he even remembered the fact that AJ liked to watch that. She figured he was drunk that time he came over and watched AJ for her.

"Archer-.”

“It’s only got like, five episodes-.”

“Archer-.”

“But I figured once she took the medicine she’d fall asleep during the second episode.”

“Archer!”

“What Lana?!”

She sighs. “Thanks. I mean it.”

The corner of his mouth jumps. “You’re welcome.”

There’s a slight pause before he decides to ruin the moment. “Also, I’d like a thank you blowjob later.”