Thanks to boredom during quarantine, I’ve taken to designing my own Fakémon.  In the past, I’ve made a bug type Eeveelution and a flying type Eevelution.  My next plan was to make a ground type, maybe something based on a lungfish that just wallows in the mud and waits.  But I didn’t have any great design ideas, so I just sat around for a while.

The idea of a normal type Eeveelution has always seemed superfluous to me.  After all, Eevee is already a normal type, and “normal” is really just placeholder for “nothingness” or “ordinary,” as far as I can tell.  Pidgey, Spearow, Rattata, Meowth: they’re all fine Pokémon but they’re just birds, mice, and cats when you boil it down.  Sure, there’s the occasional oddball like Ditto or Lickitung, but for the most part, normal type Pokemon are just cartoonified real animals.  I didn’t want to make just a more mature Eevee.  If I was going to make a normal Eeveelution, I wanted it to be either totally pointless and tongue in cheek, or mindblowingly amazing and creative.

And I didn’t have any mindblowingly amazing and creative ideas.

But then I remembered Arceus.

If you’re not into Pokémon or you stopped before Gen IV, you may not know Arceus.  Arceus is God, more or less.  Arceus is known as “the Original One” who created the world, or at least specific regions of it where the games take place.  Arceus is an all powerful mythical being.  And Arceus is a normal type.

Technically.

Arceus’s special ability is called “Multitype.”  Essentially, Multitype allows Arceus to become any type of Pokémon.  It makes Arceus incredibly formidable in battle, and makes it just all around awesome.

I decided to take inspiration from Arceus for my normal type Eeveelution.

And by inspiration, I mean wholesale theft.

Meet Arceon.  It’s an Eevee dressed up as Arceus.  Look at its adorable little face.  It thinks it’s intimidating!

Now imagine you’re battling in the latest Pokémon game and suddenly your opponent sends out this thing.  What?  What even?  What is that?  Since when does that exist?  Does it also have multitype?  You’re totally screwed if it has multitype!

Well, fear not, friends.  Arceon does not have Multitype.  In fact, Arceon can only learn one move.

And because I’m a troll and I like frustratingly useless Pokémon, the only move Arceon can learn is Self-Destruct.

(And technically Struggle I guess because all Pokémon learn Struggle but it’s not like you can use up all the Self-Destruct PP to get to it)

Arceon can only be evolved on April first.