gn!reader x Aran | wc: 0.7k | angst with a happy ending |
Everything starts alone. A one way ticket has a 'one' in it's name so you guess that's where the 'alone' for you started. It's been years now since that one way ticket brought you to Tokyo. Why? Education of course. You already had a year of studying Japanese language under your belt so what better place than the land itself to perfect it? It would be only for a couple of years anyway, you told yourself, get that degree and then you'd be returning home.
You didn't go into this thinking it would be easy. Even knowing the language Japan was a new country. New people. You welcomed the challenges that came with it but after years of living here you hadn't anticipated you'd still feel so lonely. That was until you met Aran.
The relationship started like all great modern romances do – on a dating app. You swiped him out of two reasons: 1. he was cute, and 2. you were bored. Not that you expected much out of the match, maybe some entertaining conversations and perhaps an interesting first date. Interesting it was, as his soft smile and captivating conversation made you feel a connection you had never felt before.
“It's fate,“ you joke with Aran as the second date followed, then another, then you came to watch his games, then a dinner with his parents. Months have never passed so quickly. It's not a perfect relationship, Aran isn't perfect and neither are you, you stumble and sometimes press on a sore spot but you go through rocky parts hand in hand. For the first time you see perfection is unnecessary, it's the hard work that counts. You can't remember ever being happier.
And yet, there are days and nights when there's an emptiness inside you nothing can fill. Not even Aran. It's the nights when you miss your old room, and miss the books you left behind when coming to Tokyo, it's that ice cream tastes different than the one you shared with your friends. Life back home feels like it happened in another life. Sometimes it feels like you only dreamed it. Sometimes it feels like the friendships were all made up.
“We're drifting apart,“ you quietly say, sitting beside Aran after a long day, another one on which your thoughts have been flooded with memories and longing for home. All because you saw an instagram picture of your friends having fun at one of theirs birthday party. Nobody told you about it. “I know I wouldn't be able to make it but they could've at least told me. I could make a video wishing a happy birthday, or a card, or something.“ You sigh before saying the words that scare you. “It almost feels like I'm not a part of their lives anymore.“
Aran thinks and presses a kiss to your forehead before he answers. “Ya moved so far away. It may sound harsh but what else did ya expect?“
What did you expect? Life takes its way, like it or not it sweeps you away. Did you really expect you would be an exception?
“I... I expected to return. My plan was to go back,“ you say, staring somewhere over Aran's shoulder, with a voice that doesn't sound like it belongs to you. “Japan was going to be just a fun adventure before the real adult life began.“
Aran falls silent. His hand wrapped around yours tightens, his eyes focusing on his fingernails.
”Aran?“ He doesn't respond. “Aran, say something,“ you plead, frightened of his sudden silence.
He glimpses at you. Takes a moment to compose but his voice is shaky when he speaks: “Why does it feel like this is the end?“
For a split moment you feel nothing. Your senses freeze as you stare at Aran's teary eyes, as his words slowly register and a searing pain follows, silencing your voice and you start to cry, cry from piercing pain in your chest, cry for the emptiness that had grown inside in the past years, cry from the fear you can't even begin to explain. Aran pulls you closer, tighter thinking perhaps this is the last time. If you could see his face you'd see agony.
That evening you go to sleep silent. Both of you too tired to speak. The following day you can' stand the silence and the awkward shifting around each other. After Aran returns from training you sit him down, telling him the silence hurts.
He crosses his arms. “The reason I got upset, the way ya said those things... It sounded like this... us... like ya never believed it'd work out. Like ya never planned we'd work out.“
“I never- I didn't say that,“ you barely get out, your voice hoarse and throat aching.
“Yer plannin' to go back ya said that much. That yer goin' home after ya finish yer studies.“
“That was before. Before you.“ You take his hands into yours. “I did plan to go back. But now... I have you. And I want to stay.“
“Why did ya say those things then?“ asks Aran, holding your hands tight.
“It's just... I wanted to talk. It's such a weird time for me. I feel like I'm in this period of change, transition you know, coming to terms that I won't be going home. That this, that you, are my home now.“
He thinks over your words, his expression slightly confused as it always is when his thoughts are racing. “Very poetic. Did they teach ya that at University?“ he says with a playful smile that makes you smile in turn. “Come here love,“ he presses a kiss to your cheek, “I'm here for ya. This loneliness ya feel, yer friends' distance... we'll figure it out, together. What'd ya say to that?“
“You're even better at poetic words than me,“ you half sniffle through happy tears before you let yourself smile earnestly. “Together.“
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★ warnings: angst to fluff, swearing, alcohol mention (aran is drunk and so are the rest of inarizaki), exes to lovers, crying, regrets
★ wc: 1k
★ minty’s notes: for @meiansmistress ’s Underrated Collab ♡ this is such a cliché trope but i love it too much. this pure word vomit i have no idea what the fuck i wrote
it ended on a sunny day.
he didn’t want to hurt you further. ‘a fell out of love’, he told you back then, justifying his choice of burning a 5-year relationship to the ground in the blink of an eye. he didn’t like to see you cry—let alone because of him—but you couldn’t stop the tears from falling. he wiped them with the pads of his thumbs, smiling sadly.
“a’m sorry,” is the last thing aran had told you exactly three months ago, before walking away from promises of forever and turning his back to whatever eternity you both had hoped for.
it has been peaceful since then. you want to say you got over him, but you’d be lying. how could you, when he was your first love? it was gentle, warm—he was your first in everything, he was there to guide you in your darkest days just like you did for him—everything you did, you did it together. it hurt remembering everything, because whenever your eyes flickered, you could see him—in your bed, trying to settle between the sea of pillows on your side; at the kitchen table, peeling an orange with his tongue peeking from between his lips in concentration; at the grocery store down the street, looking through the vegetables for a healthy dinner; in the park, crouching in front of a crying child and comforting them after they fell.
peaceful, but rough.
you learned to live with your yearning, with the longing of his love, of his touch.
it ended on a sunny day.
the rain is pouring outside, at 3 am on a saturday, and you’re in the doorway of your home, watching your ex—aran—stumble over his words as he slurs apologies and phrases along the lines of ‘a was so stupid’. his coat is soaked and you suspect the rest of his clothes are in the same condition, so you sigh and usher him inside.
your heart clenches when he sits awkwardly in the hallway, swaying slightly, having hanged his coat as it drips on the floor—you see his mismatched socks and a small smile tugs at the corners of your lips. he’s always been like that, mixing his clothes or papers whenever he’s in a rush. you sigh but motion him to the couch, making your way to your room.
you’re grateful he forgot some of his clothes and never came to retrieve them.
you come back into your living room to him huddled on one corner of the couch—it’s a comical sight, a 6 foot something athlete trying to fit in a place two times smaller than him.
“didn’t want ta wet it,” he whispers, still slurred but a little clearer than before. with a silly grin, you hand him his clothes and guide him to the bathroom so he can change.
“the towels are on the shelf,” you instruct and as soon as he’s out of sight, you move to the kitchen to prepare some tea. the storm doesn’t cease, raindrops pattering on your window as you look out. aran might have to spend the night, unless atsumu can come pick him up. your hopes are shattered when your phone dings and suna’s name flashes on the screen, along with a photo of the inarizaki grads, all various degrees of drunk, from barely tipsy to utterly wasted.
how are you going to survive the night? your heart thumps at the prospect of aran having come to apologize, but it’s been 3 months. were you really better off without each other, or was it just some lie you chose to believe so you can move on?
the door opening and closing behind you startles you from your daydreaming and you bring the tray with two mugs of tea and some buttered toast into the living room, where aran has already made himself comfortable on the same corner of the sofa.
“it’s damp there. sit properly, ar- ojiro. i can take the armchair,” you urge, correcting yourself just in time. you see him tense for a second, before moving as you instructed and slumping in his seat. “that’s better, isn’t it?” the tea is a little too hot, so you blow on it before taking a tentative sip, humming as its warmth spreads through your body.
“it was stupid, what a did.”
the sudden revelation has you rolling your eyes, but you listen to what he has to say anyway. it’s not going to change anything, you think, reassuring yourself.
until he starts crying—just like you did that one sunny day three months ago—and you wipe his tears with the pads of your thumbs—just like he did. it’s ironic, how the tables have turned, but you suppose things in life happen with a reason.
he latches onto you, hiccupping and spluttering words that make no sense until you listen to them. “a was so stupid—that was the worst decision of ma life,” is one of them. “a can’t sleep at all, everytime a close ma eyes a see yer cryin’ face,” is another. “bein’ away from ya hurts so much, it’s like a’m drownin’,” among others.
“please, a miss you—a never once stopped lovin’ ya,” is the last thing he says before ojiro aran collapses and crumbles into himself, his head resting securely on your lap and body curled tight on the couch. your fingers massage his buzz cut, scratching his scalp just the way you know he likes it and that somehow makes him cry even harder.
“i never stopped loving you either, aran,” you whisper—he swears he’s never heard a more beautiful sound than you saying his name. he clutches your shirt, desperate for some sort of grounding, and your hand rubs circles on his back. “how about we talk about this in the morning, over some breakfast? i can make sunny side ups.”
“yer sunny side ups are the best,” he gulps, voice still wavering from the tears, but he smiles a little when you look down at him.
“i’ll extend the couch so we can sleep together,” you inform him and, for a brief moment, you feel him hugging your waist tighter than before. you smile.
it ended on a sunny day.
it started again in the aftermath of a stormy night—on a sunny day, with sunny side ups on two plates on the kitchen table.
taglist (send an ask/dm to be added/removed): @nakizumie; @lovelytarou; @risjime; @izhyperfixates; @kirakirasaku; @tsumooo; @roanniee;
Relationships: Suna x f!reader, mostly platonic!Inarizaki x f!reader (the relationships in the tags could be platonic or romantic :) )
Summary:
When the twins assumed you were dating Suna, he went along with it and you had no idea why
*
Despite being Atsumu’s best friend, you barely knew his aloof and nonchalant teammate. Suna only made the occasional comment on the twins’ antics when you were around.
So when you needed a way to escape from the twins’ interrogations –including one about your longtime crush because you were definitely over him– Suna offered to walk with you after school to provide a way out. This raised a few eyebrows including yours.
Things got even stranger when the twins assumed you were dating Suna. And for some reason, he went along with it.
Genre, etc.: fluff, romance, friendship, getting together, fake dating, slow burn, acquaintances to friends to lovers, canon compliant, eventual angst but it's the shoujo type
Words: 2.9k
*****
You sputtered out a salty and sour liquid, letting it splatter all over the grass. Whipping your head around, you eyed Atsumu, who was chatting with one of the other elementary aged boys from his volleyball training camp. You smacked the back of his head.
"Hey! What'd you do that for?" the young Atsumu protested.
You rolled eyes and crossed your arms, waiting for him to fess up.
"Pfft."
You turned your head to see Osamu hunched over, covering his mouth. "I didn't think he'd give it to you," said Osamu in between snickers.
You blinked a few times before groaning, still twisting your lips from the excessive amount of sour salt that filled the back of your throat. You glared at Osamu then at Atsumu. It was both neither and completely their fault.
"'Samu!" Atsumu growled at him. "What'd you do that for?"
"What?" Osamu replied, shrugging his shoulders. "You deserved that drink! Except that Y/n drank it instead."
You groaned at them, somehow frequently caught in the middle of these two menaces. "C'mon, let's go," you said, your shoulders sagging, wishing for a way to get rid of that awful taste in your mouth. "Your mom's waiting for us at the corner store."
You felt a tap on your shoulder. Spinning around, your breath hitched.
"This one should be safe," the tall, dark-skinned and handsome boy told you with a sweet smile. You looked at his outreached hand; it had an unopened bottle of lemonade.
You accepted the drink, cheeks burning and too shy to say a word. As he left, arms swaying as he walked, your eyes caught the knee pads in his hand. Your elbow quickly jabbed Atsumu's side. "W-who's that?"
"Who?" he asked before spotting a light blue t-shirt. "Aran?"
You stared at the ground, fidgeting with the hem of your shirt. A small uptick from the corner of your lips joined the warmth of your cheeks. As you and the twins walked down the sidewalk, you turned away, not wanting them to see your face.
"Atsumu…" you asked in almost a whisper, "could you teach me how to play volleyball?"
*****
You stared into the distance as you walked with the twins. Atsumu opened his mouth to let out a large yawn while Osamu shifted the weight of his volleyball bag, adjusting the shoulder strap.
"Guys…" you said, your voice trailing as if you had just woken up from a dream. "What's the legal age to get married in Japan?"
"What the heck?" Atsumu said, exaggeratedly flinching away and gawking at you.
"How would we know that?" said Osamu, raising an eyebrow.
"Hmm… would the twins even want to be groomsmen…?" you pondered out loud to yourself as if they weren't even there.
"There she goes again…" Osamu commented as Atsumu smacked his forehead.
"Ah!" you exclaimed, causing both of the twins to jump. "I forgot to save the picture of that wedding cake I liked!" You quickly jotted it down in your small notepad, not wanting to forget which magazine you saw it in.
The twins turned to each other, gesturing to the other to somehow make you stop.
You paused, your eyes lowering to your feet, your mouth twisting into a frown. The twins stared at you, eyes growing wide.
"Oh no here it comes."
"Osamu, stop her!"
"I just miss him so muuuuch!!!" you cried out, grabbing the sleeves of both twins on either side of you. "When is he coming baaack???" you sobbed as you shook them back and forth. "I need to see him."
"See who?"
You froze. The twins sighed, relieved that you released your grip on them, then snickered because they recognized the voice behind them.
With tense shoulders, you slowly turned to face Aran, only for your eyes to widen, honing in on his arm.
"What happened? Who did this to him? Is he okay?" But you didn't say this out loud; you could hardly utter a word around him.
"Whoa! Cool! You got a cast!" Atsumu said in awe. "Can I write my name on it?" On the cast, you could see many scribbles in reds, yellows, blues and other colours as well. You smiled; Aran got along with everyone.
"Sure," Aran replied, grabbing some markers from his pocket with his free hand. When Atsumu asked how he broke his arm, he scratched his cheek. He had been chasing a rabbit and fell over.
The corners of your mouth lifted. He was so cute.
You felt a push from behind, almost toppling over, now standing a little too close to Aran. You whipped your head around to see Osamu shrugging his shoulders.
"Go," he mouthed to you. Your eyes grew wide. There was no way you could talk to Aran. You couldn't even form sentences around him.
"Did you want to write your name too?" Aran asked you.
You froze and he raised his eyebrow. When you noticed you were staring for too long, you quickly gave him a nod.
After you wrote your name, he squinted his eyes at his cast. "Oh! So that's what your name was." He raised his eyes back to see your face. "That's a nice name."
You wanted to combust and melt at the same time.
Atsumu saw your reaction and spat out a laugh between his lips. "So you were planning a wedding when Aran didn't even know your name?"
You grabbed Atsumu's collar and violently shook him, his head moving back and forth. This was not how you wanted Aran to find out about your crush on him.
"Y/n! Stop it!" Atsumu yelled out, as you continued your attempt at giving him whiplash.
*****
"Nooooo!!!" you cried in the middle of Aran's classroom. "Why did someone else give you chocolates???"
You held your own chocolates made with love for Aran. It was Valentine's Day and now that you were old enough to make your own chocolates, you didn't hesitate for a moment to make some for your special person. However, you only started being open about your feelings because of what Atsumu had said.
"Oy! I'm sick of you fawning over him," Atsumu yapped at you. "If you want something to happen, you have to get your feelings across!"
Somehow, you ended up following his advice. So now not only did Aran know that you liked him, the rest of the student body did as well. And yet, someone else had the audacity to give him honmei chocolates too.
"I told you not to accept those chocolates," Osamu snapped at Aran. "I'll never hear the end of it!"
Aran rubbed the back of his head. "I, uh, didn't want to say no," he replied.
You knew he'd do that. Aran never refused you either and let you express your feelings to him as much as you liked – even if he didn't return them. You wished he liked you back but you were glad he at least didn't push you away.
"I'll make something even better next year!" you declared to him, pumping up your fists in front of you, showing your willingness to fight. "I'll do something so great that nobody will think of giving you chocolates!"
The twins gave you a deadpan stare while Aran had a sweat drop.
"So where are my chocolates?" Atsumu demanded.
"You don't get one," you replied, crossing your arms.
When you thought he wasn't looking, you pulled out a small wrapped chocolate ball out of your bag and snuck it to Osamu. It was a giri or obligation chocolate, but Atsumu still noticed.
"Why does he get one?" he yelled out, pointing at Osamu, who wore an amused smile.
"You don't deserve one!" you snapped back.
*****
You sat at the playground above the rope ladder, your legs dangling off the edge. You often came here after practice games with your volleyball team. The ace of your team had another outburst and you were caught in the blast.
You thought nobody had known about your little spot. Not even the twins knew. So your back stiffened when, at the bottom of the slide, Aran took a seat.
You turned away to hide your face, tears threatening to spill on your cheeks.
"What's wrong?" he asked softly, raising his eyes to you, brows creased with concern.
"I–" you started, but pressed your lips together to prevent your bottom lip from trembling. You didn't want to act this way in front of the guy you were head over heels for. Not now. Not when you were so vulnerable.
Aran continued to sit with you as the sky turned orange. You had wanted to isolate yourself but his presence became a comfort. He patiently waited, ready to listen if you wanted to talk.
And you did.
You told him how you didn't know how to deal with your teammate's anger problems. You told him how you were silenced because uttering one word would cause your tears to start pouring. You told him that crying around the team wouldn't placate her at all and that all of this happened in the change rooms without the coaches around.
She never got physical, not at all. Her friend didn't help either because she had her own issues. Nobody could say anything to them and there was always a heavy silence with those two around whenever the team lost a match. You wished they weren't your senpais.
Aran listened. He sat there until you were done pouring out your bottled up emotions. This was a stark contrast from Atsumu, who wanted to deal with them himself, quick on his feet, ready to fix the problem. But with Aran, he took the time to hear you out.
And you fell for him even more.
"So are you going to keep sitting over there?" you asked him with a teasing pout, rubbing your eyes, still swollen from crying. The spot next to you was empty, a void waiting to be filled.
He chuckled. "You know you come on a little too strong with your crush on me, Y/n."
"Then how are you supposed to know that I still like you?" you smirked at him.
"Don't worry about that." He let out a light laugh. "I know you like me. You've made it very clear."
You smiled to yourself, happy your feelings got across to him.
"Okay, I'll tone it down. I don't want to make you uncomfortable," you told him, fidgeting with your fingers. "Could I at least keep giving you snacks? I think it'll feel weird if I suddenly stopped doing that."
"Sure," he said, looking up at you with a soft smile. "I've grown fond of those crackers."
*****
Graduation sucked. Aran's graduation. Just when you had gotten comfortable around each other, he had to leave for high school.
You couldn't see him as often now; no more peeking into his classroom during breaks and classroom changes. But at least he still lived in the same house.
"I've been wanting this game since it came out!" exclaimed the younger boy. He held up the new Zelda game, Skyward Sword, in his hands with stars in his eyes. "You're the best Y/n!"
Aran walked into the entryway, and when he saw the game, he slapped his forehead. "Why did you go and buy the game?” he scolded his brother. "Don't tell me you spent all of your allowance on that."
"I didn't!" he snapped back. "Y/n gave it to me!"
Aran narrowed his eyes at you and you gave him a smirk and a shrug.
"I don't expect you to understand," his brother told Aran with arms crossed. "You're like an old man. But Y/n understands!" He turned to you and said, "But I thought you didn't have a Wii."
"I took it from the twins," you snickered. "They're grounded so they can't play video games. I asked their mom if I could use it."
He giggled mischievously along with you before heading for the TV room.
"What?" you told Aran after he gave you a look. "I'm glad he likes it."
"And how is he going to play it when you have to return the console?" Aran chided you with a raised brow.
"Hmmm…" A grin grew on your lips. "You can buy one. Then we can play other games together."
"You know I suck at video games."
"That's what makes it fun," you grinned at him. You placed your bag on the floor and took a seat on the dark brown bench near the front door. "You know…" you started as you drew circles on the wood, "I just want more excuses to see you."
He scratched his cheek, unsure with how to respond. You decided to ask him anyway. "Would you reconsider going out with me Aran?"
His eyes grew wide before lowering them to the floor. Rubbing the back of his head, he answered, "I– sorry…"
You sighed then scrunched your brows while wearing a slight smile on your face. "It's alright Aran." You swung your legs as you sat on the edge of the bench, staring at your fidgeting fingers. "I thought it was worth another shot. I've already told you I'd keep waiting."
There was a silent pause in the air. You were struck down, but you held onto a sliver of hope.
"Maybe one day you'll like me."
*****
Suna closed his locker's door, its creaking echoing through the empty change room. He was late for warm-ups before practice, but today he didn't care that Kita was keeping track.
Arms feeling heavy, Suna's finger fumbled around his shoelaces. Would he be able to face his teammates? Photos of you and Aran continued to play in his mind. Suna bit on his thumbnail as he attempted to process his thoughts.
You had a crush on Aran. Aran currently had feelings for you. You were pretending to date him and now he was caught in the middle.
The simple answer was to end this charade; Suna knew that. Oh how ignorant he was when he took your hand in front of Aran, thinking he stood a chance.
Suna was determined to put all of this in the back of his mind, to only focus on today's practice. But when he opened the door to the gym, he saw you. In your fingers, a yellow gift bag dangled.
Why were you even there?
Even so, Suna's eyebrows relaxed and the corners of his mouth lifted.
However, something was off. You took a step back, one arm crossed over your chest, gripping your sleeve. You clenched your fist, the yellow bag firmly at your side.
"What the heck Y/n?" Atsumu yelled at you. "Why would you bother teaching some kid volleyball when your own sets still suck?!"
Your eyes widened at him as you froze in place, struck by his words. You bit your lip and lowered your eyes. "I knew this would happen," you muttered to yourself, not quite believing it actually became true.
"Ha? What're you talking about?" said Atsumu.
Just when you were at the verge of tears, Osamu punched him in the gut. Atsumu stumbled a few steps back, and when he regained his balance, he snapped back at him.
"What the heck was that for?"
"You deserved that!"
"Ha?"
"You still don't get it?" Osamu yelled back at him. "Or do you need one in the face too?"
Atsumu grabbed his collar. "I'm only saying it as it is, you idiot!"
Osamu whacked his arms off of him before landing another punch to his stomach. This time, Atsumu fell onto the gym floor. He scrambled to get up and was about to lunge at Osamu when Kita towered in front of him. He gave Atsumu a piercing look causing him to cower.
"So how exactly did you expect Y/n to react to your words?" Kita simply asked with his unwavering tone.
Atsumu swallowed. "Well… I…" He directed his gaze to the floor.
Normally by now, Suna would've taken out his phone as he witnessed the fight between them. But this was about you – and Suna's feet were frozen in place.
While everyone's attention was on the twins, Aran sat right beside you as you curled up on the gym floor, hugging your legs close with your head down on your knees.
Suna watched Aran's conflicted face as he reached out his arm, hovering over your shoulders before retracting it back to his side. He dropped his shoulders and turned his face towards you, giving you his full attention. He was there for you, waiting to comfort you if you let him.
Suna lowered his eyes as he allowed the gym door to close. You didn't need him. You had Osamu, Kita and Aran to help you.
You didn't need a fake boyfriend.
*****
Chapter 8 ›
I hope you enjoyed it.
Ummm… does this still count as mild angst? 😅 I try to balance the humour and angst... Anyway, I had these scenes in my head for so long that it's nice to be able to see them written out. :)
Thank you so much for reading! You really don't know how much each one of your comments means to me!
