i might as well put all these in one place and hope i remember to update it. putting it under a cut to save space and also bc a lot of them are nsfw. arranged in order of pairing, more or less.
fics with nonspecific MCs:
uncomfortable: Portia x MC. Portia returns from her duties to find the apprentice sleeping in a rather awkward place. sfw tho it gets a little spicy.
vampire AU: as the title implies. MC finds themself at the mercy of powerful vampire Nadia. i might continue this if only bc Nadia is so damn fun to write. sfw.
Nadia bath ask: as the title implies. nothing explicit, but it’s pretty nsfw.
starry-eyed Asra ask: as the title implies. sfw.
merc!Lucio: not being a brat for once. for an ask. sfw.
did you know: Asra x apprentice Dane. nsfw. some soft body-worship with a transman apprentice.
light bondage ask: Nadia x MC. spicy enough to call it nsfw.
Nadia ask: Nadia x MC. Nadia enjoys teasing MC. sfw.
fics with others’ OCs:
killer king: Lucio x apprentice Evelyn. a very nsfw encounter with Lucio being a bratty sub.
bath talk: Nadia x apprentice Emirion. a take on the bath scene in Book 8. sfw.
happy birthday: Lucio x apprentice Aveana. it’s Aveana’s birthday and in true Lucio form, the celebration is extravagant. sfw.
garbage: Lucio x apprentice Adelaide. nsfw. Adelaide enjoys sassing His Majesty.
holy: Nadia x apprentice Alex. nsfw. technically an AU, not that you can tell easily. Alex greets Nadia when she gets home from work.
cave scene: Asra x Alex. a nsfw addition to the scene in the lisa frank cave. feat: dfab Asra.
fics with Kye:
missing you: Julian x Kye. Kye has taken responsibility for Lucio’s murder, much to Julian’s distress. sfw. to be continued soon.
give me a love: Julian x Kye. a direct continuation of missing you. nsfw due to mentions of blood and injury. part 2 of ???
get off the island: part 3 of that ^ series. sfw.
another Nadia ask: Nadia x Kye. in which Nadia has a nightmare and Kye comforts her. sfw.
so beautiful: Nadia + my apprentice Kye. set shortly before the beginning of the Chariot book; in which Nadia is convinced to wear Kye’s clothes to blend in. may be continued later; i want to at least explore more of the events in her route. sfw.
words: Julian x Kye. some sappy confessions of feelings. nothing explicit, but it’s spicy so let’s call it nsfw.
untitled: Julian x Kye. some self-indulgent fluff in which Julian finds a stray dog. sfw. might continue eventually.
all-nighter ask: Julian x Kye. vaguely fluffy, sfw.
guilt trip: Asra x Julian x Kye for which i am The Biggest Sucker. some angst when Kye relapses into catatonia. part 1 of 2 posted, may be continued later. sfw.
trust issues: Asra x Julian x Kye. part 2 of ?? of the catatonic Kye storyline. sfw.
also untitled: Asra x Julian x Kye. more self-indulgent fluff in which they flirt a little. sfw.
emptiness: implied Asra x Kye. another angsty ‘bad end’ scenario, this time after Kye has died and left a spectre on the Lazaret. sfw as long as you don’t mind some slightly disturbing imagery.
Asrian:
little touches: Asra x Julian. nsfw. Asra plays with Julian and they both enjoy it a lot. part 1 of 2, followed immediately by:
aftercare: Asra x Julian. a direct continuation of little touches. sfw. a short-lived tickle fight followed by some much needed discussion.
lies we tell ourselves: Asra x Julian. nsfw, more than a lil angsty. just exploring that relationship and the feelings therein a bit.
Julian pairings:
an ask: Julian x apprentice Timo, in which a transman apprentice gets some lovin’. nsfw.
Nadia pairings:
quality Nadia ask: in which Nadia is surprised by the apprentice after a bad day. sfw.
Nadia x Julian ask: pretty nsfw. i want to continue this even tho it’s not a pairing i’m usually about. hhhhhh
“can i choke you:” an ask feat; Nadia x Portia. nsfw tho not terribly explicit.
no particular pairing:
angst: Asra pining after MC. sfw.
temper tantrum: exploring the possibility that Kye was the mage responsible for Lucio’s arm. sfw.
Nadia ask: Nadia giving herself some much-deserved pampering. nsfw
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OC FACT SWAP YES: Kye is a vegetarian mostly by preference, but made the mistake of telling Asra they they were willing to try anything once. live skinks were involved and Kye didn't trust him to make dinner for the next week.
Shhshsjalalhataf I am terrified by the revelation that the skinks were live. Does that mean they weren't by the end of dinner?? Why is Asra trying to run a combination petting zoo/hibachi grill?? Is it supposed to be dinner and a show??Eustacia's the kind that will try anything once too, and she's found more things she likes than things she hates, but she REFUSES to ever eat penguin again. It tastes like like old cod and licking a dirty toilet seat, and it makes her physically ill thinking about eating it.
“That could not possibly have hurt. There is no need to be melodramatic.”
Kye began to glance at Nadia over their shoulder, only to receive a stern rap on the nose. “Hold still, or else you will undo all my hard work.”
“Fates forbid.”
“Sarcasm doesn’t suit you, darling.”
“Isn’t that just too bad,” Kye chuckled. “Are you done yet?”
“Patience is a valuable trait; I suggest you learn it.”
“That’s the second most hypocritical thing you’ve said to me in as many minutes.”
Nadia paused with two slender section of Kye’s curly hair in her hands. “And the first?”
“The comment about melodrama. Believe me, saviya, I lived with Asra for a long time, and he can’t do melodrama half as well as you do when you feel like it.”
“I believe you are mistaking me for my late husband, darling.”
Kye and Julian exchanging native language petnames? 😭
if we both die of diabetic shock it’s your fault and i’m not sorry for it
“Vy lyuvat ya, doroga,” Julian murmured. It came out muffled against the skin of Kye’s neck, onto which he dropped lazy kisses while they combed fingers through his hair.
“I don’t know what that means, Ilya.” Their voice was wry, sleepy, and sated.
“It means,” he said, trailing his lips up toward their ear, “I love you, darling.”
They hummed. “Saviir ni, kaladi.”
“’Kaladi’ is a new one for me. What does it mean?“
Another hum, this one more thoughtful. “The long translation is ‘precious to my heart,’ but it’s quicker to say ‘dear heart.’”
Julian smiled against the stubble behind their ear. “I like it.”
The apprentice realizing that Nadia would be happier with someone else and has to let her go?
She was so beautiful it made eir chest ache.
Not just physically, though ey was more accustomed to seeing such perfection in artwork, rather than embodied in a flesh-and-blood person. But Nadia was also beautiful in mind and spirit - with intelligence and education, strength of will, and a drive to always be better than she was before. She was also kind, loving, and cared more deeply than many might realize. Those things she did not show obviously, but Kye saw it, and not just in how she treated em. She was affluent, too: powerful, even, and not just monetarily.
Nadia was beautiful in all the ways Kye was not. What she saw in em was totally beyond Kye. What did ey contribute that she valued so much? It was certainly not anything material. They hadn’t even had sex yet.
Evidently, Kye didn’t keep eir face neutral enough; Nadia knitted her brows into a frown and extended a hand. When ey didn’t object, she stroked eir cheek under eir left eye. With the glamor in place, there was no scar on that cheek, and eir left eye looked the same as the right. “What’s the matter, darling?”
Eir first instinct was to say “Nothing” and try to redirect the conversation. But with Nadia, that wouldn’t work. She could tell when ey was upset, and trying to convince her otherwise would just aggravate her. And ey had already taxed her patience enough. It was a wonder she had any left for em at all. So ey told her, “A lot of things.”
“Such as?”
Kye closed eir eye. It would be easier to say the words that needed saying if ey didn’t have to look at her. “You deserve so much that I can’t give. Can’t be. Nadi -”
She cut em off as the stroke of fingers down eir cheek became a firm grip on eir chin. Nadia tilted eir head down and said, in a fierce voice, “Look at me.”
That voice had cowed CEOs and politicians; Kye was no match for it. Ey reluctantly obeyed and was immediately ensnared by the heat in her scarlet gaze. Still in that low, almost threatening tone, she said, “What I deserve is having a partner who will refrain from making assumptions about what I want, need, or deserve.” Her grip and expression eased, but she did not release em. “At least, not when those assumptions are fueled by very incorrect views about my partner’s suitability. If it were another person saying the things I know you think about yourself, I would slap them.”
Despite emself, Kye smiled a very little. “So I don’t get slapped?”
“Not unless you ask nicely,” Nadia said in a purr, half-lidding her eyes.
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honk honk have some more long-winded Julian x Kye angst! tbc soon.
Boots clocked up to the holding cell, but Julian did not look up. He did not look up at the rattle of keys, the clatter of the lock, and the creak of the door swinging open. He did not look up until the guard paused just inside the door and said, “Come, Dr. Devorak. You are being released.”
“What?” His head snapped up. “Why?”
But the figure that stepped around the anonymous guard told Julian all he needed to know. Where he had not reacted to the guards, upon seeing Kye he rose, however unsteadily, to his feet and reached for them.
Kye caught one of his hands and steadied him. The look on their face bothered him; he had never seen that stony, emotionless mask on them before. “Kye? What’s happening?”
Without speaking, Kye drew him out of the cell. He wanted to pull them to a halt, make them answer, but the hair on the nape of his neck stood up from the attention of the guards. It was not until the two of them had emerged into the palace proper and Kye towed him into a side chamber that he got anything out of them.
They turned to close the door. Julian caught their shoulder. “Talk to me, Kye. Tell me what’s happening. How did you convince the Countess that I–”
They touched his lips with a finger to stem the flow of words. “I remembered what happened that night, and I told Nadia.”
Julian curved his hand over theirs and pulled it from his face. Arrested, he couldn’t tear his gaze from their eye. “You remember? What happened? Did…”
“If you haven’t regained your memories yet, I can’t do it for you. Just suffice it to say that you weren’t the most guilty party. She has no grounds to hold you.” They extracted their hand from his and stepped away. “But you should still leave as soon as you can, in case she decides to change her mind.”
His brows furrowed. “That doesn’t make me feel any better about it. Are you sure I didn’t–”
“I’m certain.” Conviction lived in Kye’s voice, and in the way they met his eye. One of the things he had learned about Kye, in the short time he’d known them, was that they were as stubborn and true as bedrock. How could he doubt them, faced with their staunch certainty?
Then why was the sense of dread that had dogged him for years still hovering over his head like the sword of Damocles? Why did it intensify as Kye held a hand next to their left shoulder, and when their familiar stepped reluctantly to the new perch, extended the hand toward him? Zenobi lofted from their hand to Julian’s right shoulder, but the way the raven rocked unhappily from one foot to the other told him that it was only Kye’s insistence that kept Zenobi there.
“Take care of him for me,” Kye said, nodding toward their familiar. Zenobi made a low, grating sound that Julian had never heard a bird make before. This was not good, not at all. Julian welcomed the anger that rose up in him; anger was better than panic or despair.
“What is going on?” he asked, over-enunciating every word, and hearing the icy rage in his own voice.
“What’s going on is that you’re taking Zenobi and yourself out of the palace, and you’re not coming back. My shop is safe; you can rest there if you need to.” Kye’s voice was matter-of-fact and brooked no argument. Not that he was going to let it go, not until he knew they would be safe, too.
“And when can I expect you to get there?” The bleak smile that touched Kye’s face drove him to continue before they could reply. “No. You are not taking my place. If anyone is going to hang, it–”
“That is not your choice to make, Ilya, saviya. Even if you were guilty, which you are not, it is not in your hands. I owe you my life, and I will not let that debt go unpaid.” Kye’s voice was infuriatingly calm.
Julian didn’t quite know how it happened, but the next thing he was aware of was his hands clamped on Kye’s shoulders. “You do not owe me anything,” he hissed, that panic and desperation mixing with rage until it was a wonder he could form complete sentences.
Kye brought their hands up and broke his hold. They did it easily, because he had loosened his grip as soon as he’d realized what he had done. “Don’t I? Drowning in the reservoir that night would have killed me faster, but the vampire eel would have gotten the job done, too.”
A snarl twisted Julian’s face. “I didn’t do that to incur a debt. I didn’t even think when I did it.” Julian couldn’t keep still; he was afraid he would lash out again. So he paced as much as he could in the confines of the tiny space.
“Intentional or not, I still owe you a life debt. That’s not something you can accept or refuse. And it was doubly imperative to get you free, because you are not the one who killed the Count.” Normally, Kye responded to his raging with their own anger. But right now, they wore resignation and acceptance like a king might wear robes of state. He hated it, hated seeing them accept this wrongness so peacefully.
“You didn’t either,” he spat.
They cocked an eyebrow. “You sound very certain of that.”
That made him whip around to face them to fast that Zenobi, whom he’d almost forgotten entirely, had to flare his wings for balance. “You… no.” The denial came out flat as something sour curled in his guts. “You are no murderer, Kye.”
They fucking smiled at him. “I told you what made me leave Balakh, didn’t I?”
That story was one they’d told him on the docks, the night after he’d pulled them from the reservoir and healed their wound. “Killing someone in self defense is not murder!” They had been caught stealing, and the owner of the stolen goods attacked them. They had run their attacker through with his own weapon, then fled their homeland for Vesuvia, for in the Sulman empire, there would be no trial for a near-outcaste thief.
“No,” they agreed with equanimity. “And perhaps, if you have an enlightened view of things, you could call the Count’s death self-defense, also. It was the only way to stop the plague. Probably. But,” and they shrugged, as if it didn’t matter, “the whys and wherefores can’t change what happened, and by my own testimony, my magic caused the fire.”
Julian shook in place, hardly able to breathe much less for a coherent thought around the idea that Kye was going to die on the gallows for a crime he had spent three years half-convinced he’d committed. That Kye… no. He couldn’t accept that they had done it. He couldn’t reconcile the knot of self-loathing that had formed around the idea with the concept of Kye. The two did not belong in the same room – the same universe.
Their expression softened and lost a little of the underlying tension. “I’m sorry it had to be this way, Ilya. The last thing I wanted was to hurt you.”
That struck him like a blow, making him flinch, and reignited the anger. “Sorry, are you? I’d think that if you really regretted it, then you wouldn’t put me – put us – in this position.” The words escaped before he could recall them. He sucked in a breath as soon as they did, though, knowing how Kye would react even before their expression darkened.
“Don’t try to guilt me, Ilya. It’s not going to do anything but make everyone feel worse,” they snapped. Oddly, seeing them get angry made him feel better. It occurred to him that maybe, if he made Kye mad enough, they would give up. Let Julian take the place he was certain he deserved more than Kye did, regardless of what they claimed to remember. The idea of hurting them made his stomach clench, but that was better than letting them die.
“Apologizing, as you took pains to tell me before, implies that you would do something different, given another opportunity,” he told them, and was impressed that he’d managed to get his voice under control. “So don’t try apologizing to me. I know you; you wouldn’t do anything different.” And that wasn’t even a lie. Kye was always so damned preoccupied with trying to take care of him, trying to save someone who was already beyond redemption.
They narrowed their eye at him. “Maybe so. But I wasn’t apologizing for what must be done. I don’t regret the decision; I just regret that it hurts you.” They shook their head. “We’ve spent too long in here. Since I turned myself in willingly, I’m not exactly under arrest, but if the guards lose track of me for too long, things will get nasty. You need to go, Ilya. Take Zenobi away. Out of the city, if you can manage it.”
No, the raven croaked, startling Julian. He’d never realized that familiars could speak. Not leave. Not die!
Julian watched a fault open up in Kye’s façade of equanimity. He saw an expression flicker across their face that he knew very well, indeed. The kind of sorrow that tears your soul apart. The kind of sorrow that makes you want to drive a knife into your stomach, because that is a lesser pain that may just distract you from the unbearable agony in your heart. And he knew that he couldn’t make Kye mad enough to abandon their decision. They hated causing their loved ones suffering, and they knew how much he and Zenobi would hurt. But despite that, they were bound to this path.
He, too, knew how to felt to tread a path like that, one that hurt you to the soul. He had tread them because he was a glutton for punishment, and because those were the paths that had spared others the same pain. But the path before Kye was one they tread by force of will, because they thought it was the right thing to do. No matter how much it hurt Kye to hurt him, to hurt their familiar, they persevered. And all he was doing was make it harder on them.
They had just told him that, too, but he’d been too selfishly caught up in his own feelings to acknowledge Kye’s. Julian bowed his head under the weight of guilt; bowed to the inevitable. He was a fool, a self-centered idiot, and Kye was going to their death with that as their last memory of him.
Cool fingers brushed his cheek, slid around to the back of his neck, dragged him down into a kiss he hadn’t expected. His arms tightened around them even before his mind realized what was happening. When it did, he tilted his head, opening his mouth to invite them in. The sweep of their tongue set his nerve endings alight all the way to the tips of his fingers, like usual, but they tasted too much of good-byes to abandon himself to the sensation. Instead, he moved his hands over them greedily, trying to memorize the shape of his happiness.
Julian hadn’t realized he was crying until Kye’s lips trailed up his cheek and the noticed the ribbon of moisture they collected. He tried to withdraw and scrub the evidence of his weakness away, but Kye looped their free arm around his waist and held him in place. They kissed the corner of his eye and murmured, “Do me a favor?”
He couldn’t breathe. If he tried to speak, the sobs clawing their way up his throat would escape. He couldn’t do that to Kye, not now. He couldn’t let them see the jagged pieces he was already breaking into even before they’d left the room. Instead, he just nodded.
“This is like telling the sun not to rise, but I want to say it anyway. Don’t make this your fault. It’s not. And don’t carry it around for the rest of your days. You can mourn me and miss me, but don’t make me your crucifix to bear. I don’t want my restless ghost to haunt you.”
Vaguely, Julian recalled that superstition. The Sulmani religion held that the dead should be burned, mourned, and then let go. Clinging too closely to them, even speaking the name of the dead, would cause an angry ghost to linger in the world and cause harm to the ones the deceased had once loved. He had not noticed that Kye practiced any particular religion, but evidently they believed that much.
“I’ll try,” he promised. Letting them go, letting go of the brief but heady taste he’d had of real joy, would be hard. He didn’t actually know if he could do it. But if Kye needed to hear him say it, then he would. If there were words, if there was anything he could do to save them, he’d say or do that even quicker. But all he could do was stand there and watch the one source of goodness and light in his life step out of his arms and wipe their red-rimmed eye.
“Don’t promise things you don’t intend to follow through with,” they chided, giving him a wan approximation of their usual lopsided grin.
“Then don’t ask me to do the impossible,” he returned. There was nothing left in him for lightheartedness; Kye’s smile just made the ache in his soul worse.
They began to reply, but someone darkened the door that Kye had not gotten a chance to close. “Magician? The Countess has ordered you to attend her.” Though the soldier’s address was respectful, their tone was cold, and they rested a hand on the hilt of their sword.
Julian’s hands were on Kye’s shoulders before he realized that he was moving. Echoing the sentiment, Zenobi made a harsh, rattling sound and did something that made his wing-feathers brush Julian’s cheek. Kye ducked out of his grip just as quickly and stepped toward the door, their back turned to Julian. “Fine. I can find her myself. Someone needs to escort Dr. Devorak out of the palace grounds.”
Hello :p could I request some fluff between mc and Nadia? Probably something to do with her spoiling them with fancy gifts? :3
It could be difficult to get under Kye’s skin, sometimes, but Nadia had discovered the quickest path to that end. To her fortune, it also happened to be something she enjoyed doing. So she had multiple reasons to smile indulgently at the red-faced magician who gaped at the delicate gold chain arranged upon a small, embroidered indigo pillow.
“You didn’t have to do this,” Kye told her, sounding strained.
“Perhaps not,” Nadia agreed. “But I wished to, regardless. Though I am not certain the jeweler made the ear-piece quite the proper size. Would you try it to make sure it fits?”
If Kye’s eye got any wider, it threatened to pop free of their skull altogether. “Right now?”
Nadia had to prop her chin on one hand to help her school her expression. Elsewise, she risked laughing, which she knew Kye would not appreciate. “Yes, right now, unless there is some pressing reason you cannot.”
“Does the fact that I’ve never worn this much gold count as a pressing reason?” Kye returned their gaze to the gift Nadia had presented them as if if were a deadly asp poised to strike.
It was finally too much; Nadia covered her mouth with one hand and chuckled.
so here’s some fun facts about Kye, since i haven’t talked about em in a minute.
Kye’s vision was always kind of shit. ey has/had a hyperopic astigmatism in which both eyes were slightly different levels of farsighted. eir right eye is still farsighted and that hasn’t gotten better with time, especially with all the hours spent reading, often in low light. additionally, the magical accident that blasted eir left eye into oblivion and left em with nothing but lichtenberg-figure scars on eir face left em with a minor photosensitivity in eir remaining eye, as well as migraines.
Kye carries a monocle everywhere ey goes outside of home, though ey only uses it when necessary. the monocle isn’t the only useful item Kye keeps tucked into sleeves or other unobtrusive and difficult-to-pickpocket locations on eir person, either. ey usually carries a small dagger, the blade obsidian and the hilt bone, which ey crafted and enchanted eirself. the enchantments are minor, just to keep it sharp and prevent it from shattering (or from cutting em as it rests in a sheath along eir right forearm.)
at home Kye also keeps a few pairs of proper reading spectacles scattered about, because ey’s useless at remembering them. Asra makes fun of em anytime ey wanders around asking where eir glasses are when the glasses in question are either on eir nose or forehead. Kye has also perfected the skill of aiming expressions over the top of eir glasses; something that makes Asra wish ey wore glasses more often, bc ey rocks the sexy librarian look, in his opinion.
