#applewrites

feat. my silly old man

I do not control the muses. When they offer me ideas, I can only hope I'll have the MP to write those ideas down, no matter what they may be. In this case, it was about my friend's Warrior of Light, Shio Shinju. You can find her over on @the-littlest-kojin. Now, despite looking like a Raen, she was raised by the Kojin of the Blue, and is one, far as I'm concerned. It did get me to thinking, how would other NPC's respond and react to learning that about Shio? Nice as it would be that they would all be lovely, supportive, and accepting, they are not perfect. As anyone who feels their body does not reflect who they are will tell you, there can be a wide range of reactions from people. Thus I present, a list. Please note, there are some names on this list that do not pop up until later expansions, including names that don't pop up until the latest expansion. The names for Endwalker I'll try to put put under the Read More. So consider yourself warned.

Minfillia- doesn't understand, "tries", messes up a lot

Thancred- doesn't understand, still tries, never messes up

Y'shtola- doesn't understand, asks a lot of questions that end up bordering on, to being, actively rude. One time, a Thancred that was already having a bad day snapped and started flipping Y'shtola's questions back on her. She quickly got the idea and the questions have significantly lessened. 

Urianger- went on a near poetic spree about how it's the soul that matters, not the flesh. Never messes up. 

Lyse- tries to understand, doesn't fully get it, but tries anyway. Sometimes messes up. "confused but she got the spirit" 

Papalymo- outright refuses. This earns him an earful from Lyse (and Thancred in private) every time. 

At this point Thancred is recognizing and standing with Shio on her identity just as much out of spite as anything. Part of it is still trying to respect Shio, but part of it is out of spite now.

Alphinaud- doesn't understand, trying to, but questions are worse than Y'shtola's somehow

Alisaie- kind of gets it, is trying since it makes Shio happy. Actually does her own research and chastises her brother. 

Tataru- very confused, but does try. She also messes up, but her apologies feel more genuine than Minfillia's. Incorporates little turtles somewhere in each outfit made. 

Krile- understands and accepts immediately, never messes up. Something something echo. 

G'raha- may be the worst. Says he understands, says he cares, but clearly has not, can not, and will not internalize it. His words and his actions blatantly at odds.

Estinien- kind of gets it? He assumes it's something akin to how powerful dragoons are basically part dragon. Having seen Shio's prowess in water, he assumes all Kojin are this amazing aquatic warrior race. This was all internal, so Shio may not be aware that was his logic, but he did seem to get it, and didn't mess up. When he was visiting the Far East, he did stop in Tamamizu, and upon talking with the Kojin there, came to understand better. He apologizes next time he sees Shio, saying only "for not fully understanding you". 

During Stormblood, Lyse and Alisaie comment on how Shio is "like a Kojin!", something they've both done often, not realizing. But this time it was within earshot of one of Shio's brothers, who pulls them aside and explains why what they are saying is wrong. Shio is not like a Kojin, she is one. Alisaie and Lyse understand, and feel awful, apologizing. Both do not make the mistake again. 

Hien, Gosestsu, Yugiri- immediately understand and accept, apologizing for ever messing up. 

Also Hein has a discussion with Shio late one night, after a bunch of sake, when he thinks Gosestsu and Yugiri aren't listening. He wonders if he might be happier as Xeala, talking wistfully and joyfully about his time among them in the Steppes, how now in this palace he feels out of place. He claims it was merely a joke. He's lying to himself. It was not. 

Aymeric- smiles, nods, doesn't understand. Gets what literature he can, but it only confuses him more. It's not until Estinien comes back and explains it to him, does he kinda sorta get it. 

Raubahn- at first, thought that's what Raen called themselves. It wasn't until meeting Yugiri that he was corrected, then had things explained to him. Understands better now, though also believes the Kojin are a powerful underwater warrior peoples. 

Nanamo- confused, asks questions earnestly, trying to learn. Thinks she gets it, and kind of does. Would like to see Tamamizu one day. 

Merlwyb- really does not get it for the longest time. She does eventually come around, and makes clear any sign of calling Shio anything but Kojin is a sign of disrespect, but it does take her a bit. She may be a force for progress and change in Limsa, but she's still Limsan. Stubborn as any of them. 

Kann-E Senna- genuinely hard to tell. Always keeps that same practiced smile on her face. She calls Shio "Kojin", but does she believe or understand? Unclear. 

Gaius- "Why would you ever want be one of those beasts-" gets cut off by angry turtle

Zeno- "If I gutted every beastman there, then would you fight me with that same fervor?" which threatening that does work, much to his joy

Feo Ul- first needs an explanation of what Kojin are. Then points out "well of course you're one! You swim better than any other, you have respect for the spirits, and I've seen my precious sapling take hits from those nasty lightwardens straight to her back and been fine! So clearly you must have a hard shell back there!" then after a moment. "[appropriate pet name], if you are displeased with your form, know that I can shape it into whatever will make you happy. I'll adore you no matter what shape you take."

Matoya- Doesn't care what Shio is (and that is how she terms it), just leave her alone. She does chastise Alphinaud and Y'shtola at one point- "Let people be who they are, and mind your own!" 

You have a nice day too! Some of these guys were difficult to think of cause some of them are extremely camera shy.

Sans: Prank channel, he records the pranks he pulls on the people in the house and posts them. Everyone in the house wants to throttle him lmao. You'll probably show up on the channel but you probably wouldn't like how you're in it. Just remember you love him is all I can say.

Papyrus: He's sort of a channel close to Jenna Marbles, he does random things that he just feels like doing. Like making the annoying dog float with balloons or tie dying crop tops and booty shorts. He would love to have you on the channel to do stuff with him! Or behind the camera if you aren't comfortable with being on camera yourself.

Azure (Underswap Sans): He's a challenge channel, he does challenges and stunts on his channel (not the extremely stupid ones though), he would love to have you on the channel with him! It'd probably be a messy video due to being outside and a lot of challenges involving a mess outside. He isn't allowed to do them inside the house unless it's an easy to clean up one. He also has a side channel for cryptid studies.

Crow (Underswap Papyrus): Book review channel! He talks about different books, his favorite tropes in books, cliches he likes and doesn't like in stories. Yes, he also talks about fanfic on the channel. He also does small skits on occasion to overdramatize scenes he found stupid in stories. He'd enjoy having you on the channel, being able to talk about books with someone besides the audience that can't respond is nice. Just don't ask about the weird side of fanfic videos, he'll die of embarrassment.

Red (Underfell Sans): The gamer. Need I say more. Well I'm going to anyways, he does more action based games instead of slower ones. The most popular videos on his channel are him playing horror games, not cause he's tough though. It's cause people like watching him either rage at games, make fun of them, or scream like a little girl. He'd totally want you to join him on multiplayer games and when he plays actually scary horror games. No, totally not to comfort him when he gets scared. Totally not.

Rouge (Underfell Papyrus): Cooking channel! Except he's one of the channels that cooks using unconventional means and watching him cause messes and failures in the kitchen. Let's just say people don't watch him for recipe ideas. He'd love to have you on the channel as long as you're comfortable with a chaotic kitchen and inedible food at the end of everything.

Plum (Swapfell Sans): He's a review channel and theory channel, he deep dives into films and popular media to try finding dark secrets or critique bad movies he had to watch for his channel. He'd enjoy having you on the channel, it's nice to have a conversation or a debate with an actual person. Plus you two can have date nights at movie theaters and also get content to use for the channel!

Rus (Swapfell Papyrus): This man is a mystery on the internet, he makes short clips of random things that make little to no sense. Basically he is the embodiment of the weird side of TikTok, he makes edit YouTube poop clips or he's in extremely odd costumes doing random shit. If you want to be in one of his videos you'll have to be ready to match whatever energy this man is about to unleash for whatever poor insomniac will witness on a 3am YouTube sinkhole.

Willow (Horrortale Papyrus): Gardening tip channel, he spreads gardening knowledge on the internet for people who want their gardens to be the best they can be. He doesn't show his face on camera though, all that can be seen is his gardening shirt, overalls, and gardening gloves. It'd be difficult for you to be on the channel too and be visible but you're more than welcome to be his assistant and co-host with voiceovers to talk about vegetables, fruits, and flowers.

Some good boy romance headcannons coming up

Okay so first of all, dude's a vlogger, he does a lot of inspirational stuff but also a lot Jenna Marbles level crafts and random ideas.

So you'll mostly likely either be in those videos directly or behind the camera helping

He does (failed) cooking videos, which usually leads to you both having takeout for dinner.

But he isn't always doing something for social media or for views, he spends time off camera with you, Sans, and his friends.

He'll take you on dates to multiple different food places (not fast food places) and physically active ones

He will use you as a weight, he can lift you with one finger, don't test him.

He's honestly a hopeless romantic, he finds small gestures greatly endearing despite his big personality. Honestly if you just take the time to get to know him and not pass over him or treat him like a child, he's smitten.

He does get pretty cheesy with romantic gestures though, due to his inexperience with relationships and his heavy reliance on the dating manual. You can expect a lot of flowers and corny flirts.

He friggin loves having dates where you build puzzles or obstacle courses at home, he will go overboard and the house will become a giant obstacle course/puzzle. He cleans up afterwards though, don't worry.

He's a big spoon, most definitely

Although he is active rather often, so it'll be more him carrying you around than it would be cuddling

Please make this man go to bed at a reasonable time

His sleep schedule is non-existent, just fall asleep on him and he legally can't move for a while. He'll fall asleep eventually too.

Plum is a boy with expensive tastes (or so he says) and would probably take you on a date to a 5 star restaurant in an attempt to woo you with luxurious things. Poor dude doesn't really understand yet that if you're dating him, you're there for him and not his things. He'll understand after you stick with him for a while, just please be patient with his emotionally constipated man.

If you choose the spot for the first date, the best one would be to take him to the movies. Bring him to see a terrible horror movie or a cheesy romcom. He'll pretend to not like it at first but it's difficult for him to keep up the idea of being disgusted with your taste in films when he's watching the screen so intently. Hold his hand and he'll malfunction. Spend time making fun of the movie with him afterwards, he'll have a hard time expressing he enjoyed the date but his readiness to take you on a second date kinda gives away he enjoyed your company.

Hickory (HT Sans)

Okay so dumb grouch here barely realizes he has positive emotions besides sadistic joy.

So realizing he's in love is gonna take a WHILE

Like, he'll sit and daydream about y'all's wedding and it still wouldn't be clicking for this man.

Please help him out, do something that hints you like him romantically

Be obvious about it so it finally clicks in my brain that he caught feelings

He caught them months ago and he's the last one to figure it out, but at least he finally realized it.

Now how he'd act around a crush is relatively the same as how he treats a friend, just with a bit more blushy awkward moments

He'll either confess shortly after or just think you can do better than a broken man like him

Honestly it's better if you confess to him first, man takes forever to realize his feelings and barely does anything about them.

Willow (HT Papyrus)

So he's not as bad as his brother, he'll actually realize his feelings earlier on.

Still a bit slow but definitely not Hickory level slow

He hates to admit it, but he'll be a blushy mess at the slightest romantic gesture.

He gets surprised when people are even friendly with him due to his looks and sheer height making him seem intimidating.

But romantic intention???? Towards him????

He has to dig out his old dating manual for this

He tries flirting, he genuinely does, but he gets so caught up over his own nerves he will butcher the flirt horribly

"Are You An Angel Cause Damn- Wait No, It's Are You A Beaver. Did You Fall From Heaven, Cause You Look Like A Beaver- Shit-"

He's trying.

Azure and Plum, hands down.