#apocaplyse

"I just wanted my degree bro I didn't ask for all this"

Lt. Irving 'Apocalypse' Mahoe

“Noah’s Ark,” I repeat. This was just too much. The last thing I remembered before waking up here was having a spiked club buried in my back, waiting to die so some cannibal could turn me in to pot roast. Now, I am being told I have been abducted by aliens whose ship is also Noah’s Ark. 

Weirdest hallucination ever.

I started doing the only thing I could think to do: I laughed. It was all so absurd. 

“Dsygh tiomt im, Simon?” the Miys asked. “Wow air zjuyq suj!?” they sounded really upset. For some reason, this only sent me into further hysterics. Even I could tell that my laughter had taken on a desperate quality, but I couldn’t stop. 

Simon crouched in front of me with a concerned look on his face. “Are you going to be okay?” he asked. I couldn’t speak so I just shook my head. He continued in as soothing a tone as he could, “We need to get you calmed down. You still have injuries to your back, and this can’t be good for them. And if you don’t catch your breath soon, you may pass out. Can you try to take one slow, deep breath for me?” 

Even through the hysteria I knew he was right: I already felt light headed. So I tried as hard as I could to calm down. Eventually, the laughter subsided to giggles, then sobbing. Simon held both my arms gently, running his thumbs back and forth while he made soothing noises. “That’s better. It’s okay. I know it’s a lot to process. Just nod your head when you’re back with me.” 

I wasn’t sure how long it took, but I managed to calm myself down until I was just sniffling. I nodded my head and looked up at Simon again. “I’m good. I’m okay now. But I have some questions.” 

“Of course you do,” Simon replied with a small smile. “One at a time, though, okay?” 

I nodded again. “How are you so sure these Miys are who they say they are?” 

“Aie emtjygvep -” 

“Shut it guys, ” Simon interrupted with a glance at the ceiling. “This is part of why you picked her.” He turned to me, “Before you ask about that last part, the reason I know they are legit is because they showed me records of the Flood and what really happened. Not written records, either. Visual records, Technicolor and surround sound. You can see them later if you want.” 

It immediately became item one on my to-do list. “Okay. What did you mean they ‘picked’ me? I’m not a piece of fruit.” 

Simon chuckled. “Bad word choice on my part, considering your previous situation. I didn’t mean ‘picked’ like an apple, I meant 'picked’ like 'chosen’. As far as why….” he blew out a long breath. “The last time, the Miys saved everyone they could, because of the reason for the Flood: we weren’t responsible for that, it was just part of what Earth does. But this time, it’s our fault. We did this to ourselves. The Miys see something in humanity worth saving, somehow, so they are trying to preserve the best of us.” 

I started giggling again, getting a wary look from Simon. “Man, did they make a bad call on me. I’m not the best of anything.” 

Simon shook his head. “Not the best people. The best qualities.” 

I smirked and waved at him. “Hi, I’m Sophia, and I have no redeeming qualities, I promise you that.” 

Simon nodded so hard I swear I saw his chin hit his chest. “But you do. Think back: What did you do for a living Before? That is usually a good place to start.” 

I gave him a flat stare, ready for the inevitable reaction. “I worked for a mortgage company, teaching debt collectors how to collect better. Nice try.” 

“So you taught people to be pushy and mean to old women?” To say I exploded was an understatement. Ten years and this still set me off like nothing. “You sanctimonious, judgmental, disgusting piece of shit. No, I did not. I taught them that those little old ladies were in fact little old ladies. And parents, and families. I taught collectors that the accounts they were calling on were people’s homes that they might lose if we can’t get it current or work something out. And I didn’t want anyone being homeless, and having that on my conscience kept me awake every night. I wanted to save people !” I was screaming by the time I was done, tears rolling down my face. “And I couldn’t. Because the Fall happened anyway, they lost their homes anyway, they died anyway. It was for nothing.” 

Simon, that piece of shit, was smirking at me. “That right there is why the Miys picked you. Empathy, enhancement, memory, clarity. Those are your defining attributes.” 

I took a deep breath. “You are an asshole. You pissed me off on purpose.” Simon shrugged. “You won’t defend yourself from your own opinions, but you will defend yourself from the opinions of others.” 

He pointed at himself. “Charisma, analytics, enhancement, wisdom.” 

“You are not charming.” 

“Never said I was,” he replied cheekily. “Charisma means I can get people to do what I need them to do, and analytics means I can tell the best way to go about it.” 

“Wait,” I stopped him, my brain just catching up to something. “You said 'enhancement’ for both of us. What is that? I get the rest, but that one I’m not familiar with in context.” 

He chuckled again. “They should have added curiosity for you. 'Enhancement’ simply means we being out the best in people. 'Faith that moves mountains’ and whatnot.” I wanted to argue again, but thought about it. I had been a professional coach, I always supported my friends and family and never said 'I told you so’ when they succeeded. So yeah, maybe that one was right, too. 

“But I’m not the best at any of those,” I point out instead. 

“You can actually have too much of a good thing,” Simon rebutted cryptically. “But, being that you were chosen, that also means you lack any genetic disease or conditions that would be detrimental to a colony.” 

“Colony?” I blurted out in surprise. “The fuck do you mean, colony?” 

“Hsu hduyjw gii nexs,” the Miys whined. 

“So do you,” Simon responded, rolling his eyes. When I glared at him, he looked slightly ashamed. “Eyeah, I keep forgetting you don’t understand them yet. They want you to tone down the profanity.” 

My turn to roll my eyes. “Colony,” I repeated, crossing my arms over my chest.

“Right,” Simon inhaled, getting back on topic. “Colony. Earth just isn’t viable anymore. She needs to recover in peace. Like a vacation. So we are establishing a colony somewhere that we can recover, too.” 

“You said I was picked,” I started slowly. “Which means not everyone is going. What happens to everyone else?” 

Simon suddenly looked very solemn. “They die. Everyone else dies.”

Lt. Irving 'Apocalypse' Mahoe

General Info:

Name: Irving Mahoe

Gender: Genderqueer (He/they)

Sexuality: Pansexual, polyamorous

Date of Birth: June 30th, 1983

Age: 36

Personality: Intelligent, Kind, protective, quiet, calculating

Likes: Flying, music, cooking, taking care of their friends

Dislikes: Annoying people, the military industrial complex

Occupation: Naval Aviator (callsign: Apocaplyse)

Pairing: Phoenix and Bob

~~~ Pinterest Board

Synopsis:

Despite working as a Naval Aviator for the US Navy, Irving has had their reservations about the military, and dipsite becoming the best of the best, has only seen their military career as a means to a college education, and dreams of becoming an aerospace engineer. One dangerous mission follows after another as Irving is looped into extending their contract, until being recalled Top Gun for a secretive mission that will force them back into contact with their long estranged father, the infamous Pete Mitchell.

Ava and Addison began to inspect their new home. The door of the refrigerator had fallen off, but without electricity that didn’t matter much. Addison found some battered cookware in the small cupboard under the counter, as well as a small glass, which he filled with water from the bathroom sink. After one sip, he spat it out—it clearly wasn’t potable. They would have to boil any water they wanted to drink, and hope that was enough.

The utility shelf was full of treasures: candles and matches, oil for the lamps, lighter fluid for the makeshift grill on the porch. There was a toolbox and a few odds and ends of rope. Addison felt his unease growing—who would leave such valuable treasures here?

“Look over here, Addison!” Ava had found a small packet of seeds by the refrigerator. “We can plant them in the morning!”

“If we stay. We can’t know that it’s safe here.”

“We haven’t been safe for weeks. This is shelter. This is a roof over our heads, four walls, a bed.”

Addison could only reply with a stony silence.

“Look, there’s a notebook! On top of the fridge.”

They began to read it together eagerly:

“Day 17. It took us three days to drag the reinforced steel door back from Newcrest. Another two days to install it. And for what? No one will break down our door, but we still rely on flimsy wooden shelves to barricade our windows. It may be time to move on.”

Tenacious D - Wonderboy

(I have a feeling I’m going to fall down a Tenacious D rabbit-hole now. It’s been a while 😂 )