#aplanguage

when the chair recognizes you and you recognize the chair

Gotta get it done though. 

Ideally, a relationship works by trusting the person you love. You trust them to make the right call; that is all there is to it. There is no forcing them to do anything. The goal is that you both leave in the morning and head to school or work or whatever, and you do what you do, and then you come home to the person you want the most. That’s it. You don’t make a person change their job, their education, their plan for your sake. Relationships are not about fundamentally shifting someone, or about tearing them down. There are no ultimatums. Love is not about control. Instead, it is about compromise, and there are a lot of people who could take a lesson away from that.

When I was thirteen, the family truck was passed down to me, and I would like to add that it was against my will. I didn’t want a truck that was as old as me, and quite frankly, I didn’t trust anything that had been a first of my sisters, who is nine years older than me. But despite my protests, the family truck ended up in my driveway, and it stayed there for a while. I tried to avoid driving it, and I whined every time I had to, but eventually I gave in; that’s when I realized that’s when it wasn’t as bad as I had initially thought. It was ugly, no doubt. It was red, loud, old, and it had obviously been through the ringer, but in the end, it beat walking. My friends gave me a lot of crap for it, but they always managed to feign innocence when they were in dire need of transportation. And so that’s what I did; for three years, I took my friends everywhere under the sun. After a couple of rides with my best friend, we decided that my truck needed a name, and that Rudy was the best fit. From there, Rudy and I were always on the road. Summers were spent driving aimlessly, while winters were spent on a lot of hot chocolate and soup runs. Springs were full of rides to the river to swim, while fall was full of driving through piles of leaves just to watch them fly everywhere in the street through my rearview. Despite the fact that my truck was horrendous and embarrassing for a while, it was the best thing I’ve ever had, because it gave me the best times I’ve ever had. The most important moments happened in that truck, with important people. It took a lot of people a lot of different places; God knows it took me a lot of places I probably shouldn’t have been. But at the end of the day, despite the drawbacks, it still gave me two important things: comfort that my time was always well spent in that truck, and memories that can't be taken away no matter how much time passes.

In my sixteen years, I have never understood people who are content to say, "Well, maybe this is how things are meant to be," and just continue living despite all the negative things that are happening to them. As I get older, this is something that frustrates me to no end. All anyone ever talks about is how they want to be happy, and how life is really just about being happy in general. Some people won't be content until they have a six figure salary, while some people won't be content until they have a family; either way, everyone needs a purpose in life. So for someone to say, "Whatever happens, happens," honestly angers me. Don't get me wrong, I understand being laid back. I understand being calm and easygoing. However, I don't understand letting the course of your life be controlled by chance. People are so quick to say that they want to be successful, but when they start that journey for success, time wears them down. As time goes on, it gets easier and easier to lose sight of the end goal, until finally, it is simpler for the person to just stop, take a look, and say, "This seems like an okay place to stop trying. It's close enough to the goal." People compromise their dreams and aspirations for the sake of comfort, and that has always driven me mad. Some of the best experiences of my life have occurred when I was outside of my comfort zone. When you leave your comfort zone, that's when things start to really start to happen. There are a lot of things in life that are out of our control; the course our life takes is not one of them. That is why you should never be content to take what life hands you. Instead, work hard and demand what it is you want. You'll be more grateful for the chances you took to get it later.

I am notorious for misplacing my trust in people. There are some people in this world who just feel comfortable, like maybe they were always meant to be wherever you were, and for this reason, you trust them. I'm guilty of it. They're warm and they interesting and they know how to make you laugh, so you trust them, hoping they do the right thing with it. Yet, they don't; instead they make you wonder why you ever trusted them at all. So you leave, feeling defeated, but telling yourself that you'll learn from it, that you'll grow from it, and that you'll never let it happen again. But you do. You always do; this is something I've struggled with, and only recently figured out. The key to people is that you cannot expect a thing from them. When I place all of my trust and unrealistic expectations into someone, whether they be a friend or a guy I like, I am going to get hurt. They will do the wrong thing, or say the wrong thing, or push me away. Why? Because they are HUMAN. They are programmed to miscalculate, to make mistakes, to make choices that might not be right. They are just as human as I am. People are going to hurt you no matter what; it is not intentional. It is just human nature. We hurt the things we love because we are unsure how to handle them due to our fear of loss. People you trust will hurt you. Maybe it'll be because they're scared, or they're hurt; it doesn't matter. What matters are the lessons you take from the experience. The most important thing you can do is take the things that hurt and turn them into something constructive. Take the ugly and turn it into something good. I promise you'll be better for it.