#aot drunk

Among the momentarily silence you heard a sound of liquid being poured and a cup brushing against the wooden surface of the table being slid your way. You raised your questioning gaze to meet Levi's. He's never been much of a drinker, yet he understood there are times in the Survey Corps that alcohol could be the only working medicine.

"I don't drink..." You muttered, feeling a bit guilty that you're refusing something captain offered.

"Good. Means it'll work faster in that case" he wouldn't relent.

Each time your comrades wanted to have a drink you always refused. The reason was that the wine served in military wasn't the best quality, the taste didn't sit right on your tongue and it made your head dizzy putting you in drunken state way faster than any other beverage. You avoided getting drunk not to be caught acting silly when your higher ups are looking.

You held the cup in both of your hands, glaring at the scarlet, slightly tempting beverage.

"I really... don't drink" you repeated, even more queitly this time, still unsure about this.

“I heard you the first time,” Levi replied. He leaned back in his chair, arms crossed. “But you need something to shut your brain off. Wine works. Don’t make me pour it down your throat.”

Something in his harsh words and authoritative tone made you want to surrender and obey immediately.

Your fingers tightened on the cup. You sniffed it, it smelled heavier than you’d expected, bitter and almost metallic. Your stomach clenched in protest, but you tipped it back anyway.

The first mouthful burned all the way down, so hot it almost made your eyes water. You coughed hard, pressing the back of your hand to your mouth. Levi didn’t even blink just watched over you, waiting till you drink more. You took a second sip, smaller this time, but the taste was no kinder. But you really wanted it to start working as soon as possible so you greedily gulped more. Wanted the sharpness in your mind to fade, the haunting memories to dull. You coughed again.

"Slower" he commanded, voice firm yet with a hint of caring gentleness. It felt like you're a kid trying alcohol for the first time and Levi was trying to guide you through it.

You stretched your arm holding a cup for more. Without objections he poured another one.

"My incompetence killed them" your tongue loosened under the influence of alcohol. "I killed them"

Under normal circumstances you wouldn't dare to vent like this to your captain. But since he offered you this opportunity you couldn't hold back anymore.

"Don't say that. No one could predict the outcome" he denied your statements.

"I was so close..." You clenched your jaw, eyes shutting to stop the tears. "To slaughtering that titan. So close and yet..."

You angrily raised your cup forcing another sips. The heat bloomed in your chest, creeping up into your cheeks.

"It happens. All the time. You're not the one to blame" he said, his voice soothing and patient. "Don't do this to yourself. They wouldn't want to see you like this"

A comfortable silence lingered between you two after this, Levi pouring you more as soon as you emptied the mug again and again. You felt strange way of comfort around him, felt safe enough to let yourself be drunk in his presence, to show vulnerability. Your chest, lately so heavy with burden you thought might crush you, felt lighter, as if some invisible weight had slid off, the relentless loop of memory blurring at the corners. Your limbs tingled, not unpleasantly, as though the wine had softened the line between your body and the air around you. You exhaled a silent laugh you didn’t mean to, shaky but real.

"More..." You whined swaying in your seat. You started feeling not only funny, but finally sleepy.

Levi scanned you with his cold, careful eyes as if analyzing your state and lowered his eyelids acknowledging his way worked.

"That's enough" he concluded.

"But captain!" You slammed the table with both of your hands staring at him reproachfully. Your cup fell to the side spilling the remaining drops while Levi with his inhuman reflex caught it midair.

"Tch. You're making a mess" he scoffed putting the cup down on the table, far enough from you. "Go to bed. Now."

"With you?" You replied all blushy and giggly. "Gladly!"

His forehead furrowed, eyes narrowing in irritation. But he was responsible for your state after all.

"Without me. Go to bed." his harsh tone didn't allow any objections.

"That sucks" you let out a dramatic sigh trying to stand up but your legs felt so weak and ground so unstable you lost balance without even taking one step.

Levi reacted instantly, wrapping his strong arm firmly around your waist to put you back on your feet again.

"Careful" he gruffed and gripped your arms to stabilize you.

The sensation caused by too much alcohol began to increase its power leaving you oddly weightless, as if your body no longer belonged fully to you. You no longer had the depressing thoughts but in their place came an ache you couldn’t name, hollow, aching for something steady. Levi was still there, close enough to steady you if you slipped again.

You murmured something incoherent, the sound almost childlike, and without really thinking, you reached out. Your fingers brushed against his sleeve, tentative, searching. The fabric was rough beneath your hand, but his arm underneath was solid, real.

He glanced down at your hand, expression unreadable.

"You’re way too drunk," he said flatly.

"M-maybe" you hiccuped, your hand lingered as if letting go might send you tumbling back into the dark thoughts. For a moment, he didn’t move. Then, with a sigh that sounded more like resignation than irritation, he let you keep your hand where it was, even adjusting his stance so you could lean against him more comfortably.

"You can't stay here any longer" he retorted. "Can you walk on your own?"

You tried to walk and keep pace, but your steps were uneven, the floor feeling both too close and too far. With a silent scoff Levi came to the rescue walking beside you. Every so often, you’d list to one side, and Levi would tug you upright again without breaking stride.

Your barracks were way too far for him to lead you all the way there, besides he couldn't enter the female part, and leaving you alone would be too risky. He changed the direction to a different, certain place.

Halfway down the hall, your legs buckled again. Levi steadied you, but you shook your head, words tumbling out in a small exhale.

"Can’t… walk anymore."

"Tch." He crouched without another word, glancing back at you. “Get on.”

It took you a moment, clumsy and giggling under your breath, but you managed to drape yourself over his back. Your arms slipped around his shoulders, your cheek pressing against him with a sigh. Levi adjusted his grip beneath your knees and stood, carrying you the rest of the way without complaint.

You pressed closer to him instinctively, leaning into the warmth of his body as if it could anchor you against the spinning corridor. The steady, unshakable way he moved made you cling tighter, fingers curling lightly into the fabric of his coat. Each of his step rocking you gently like a peaceful rhythm your body had long been denied.

"That's not the way to my barracks, is it?" You asked confused, even when drunk, you could sense the direction is wrong.

"Yeah. We are going to a more quiet and most importantly cleaner place."

You swung your legs in anticipation looking around but you couldn't recognize those hallways. Levi’s scent clung faintly to him ー leather, earth, and the gentle trace of tea leaves. It wasn’t sweet, but it was grounding, pulling you back from the edge where her mind had been spinning for days. Perhaps the alcohol itself wasn't the thing helping you out here, it was almost like you reveled in his close presence, like getting drunk on him.

"Captain" you leaned in, your mouth closer to his ear as you spoke cheerfully yet softly at the same time. "I adore you. I really, reallyyy adore you."

"Don’t talk nonsense. And don’t drool on me." He scoffed, yet his voice was gentler than usual and you could've sworn you saw his ears getting in the shade of slight red.

By the time Levi opened the door to his room, you were nearly asleep on his back, your cheek brushing against his shoulder. He guided you to his bed and let you sink into it, your hand slipping reluctantly from his coat as you collapsed onto the blanket.

"Rest," he said simply but softly, pulling the blanket over you. "You really need it."

Your lips curved in the smallest, sleep-heavy smile. "Stay… close…" you whispered, expressing one more selfish wish, asking for one more bold favor before sobering up and needing to wake up to every day reality, without Levi so close.