Apr 9, 2022
#ugh i was in the right country for most of them just too far away...#(except i put france for belgium)#sorry i can't tell the difference between random villages in mindanao and luzon :/#or between northern france and belgium :/#or between england and scotland :/#'''#okay d1ary time:#im pretty sure the pandemic made my social anxiety a lot worse.#yesterday (thursday) i went to a book event with an author i really liked#they were a tr*ns/qu**r author so there were a bunch of tr*ns people there#and like i kind of wanted to interact with them but instead i just awkwardly faded away back into the bookstore#did i mention it was awkward???#so anyway i wandered around the bookstore... but i feel like im not as enamored of bookstores and libraries as i used to be.#i used to love spending time around books. browsing. and so on. but it just didnt feel so good anymore.#is it getting older? is it social anxiety? is it being more afraid of being seen?#and like... how am i supposed to make friends as an adult out of school? how am i supposed to find a community? how am i supposed to live?#this is the kind of event where people meet new people! and i failed at that!#anyway uh...#spring thing is anxiety inducing. my daily resting heart rate has gone up.#oh yeah. also about that event: i think i was the one visibly non-wh*te person there lmao#but i dont think that was the primary reason i was so awkward lol#daily
