#anxietywon

so  since  i’m  making  absolutely  no  progress  in  writing  because  of  needing  to  answer  the  birthday  asks  from  yesterday,  this  is  a  general  post  to  the  last  of  them  instead  of  individual  answers.  i  was  sent  an  overwhelming  amount  of  them  &  i  truly  need  all  of  you  to  understand   just  how  much   that  means  to  me.  me,  someone  who  usually  feels  isolated  or  alone  in  this  world,  receiving  so  much  love  on  a  day  i  dreaded.  it  literally  means  so  much.  i  cried  &  had  to  turn  my  asks  off  in  the   best  way  possible!  you’re  all  so  kind  &  honestly,  i  don’t  know  what  i  did  to  deserve  you,  but  i’m  glad  i  did!

              The deed is done, money wired, the day ended. He aches and he limps, blood dries on stinging scrapes, but perhaps that is just part of the Reaper’s uniform. City sounds and lights are soft comforts compared to explosive gunshots and muzzle flashes. The music in the bar is low and slow -- thankfully -- when he walks in. Though it’s late, all manner of people mill about the space. Some are familiar faces, others are not. She is. So he seats himself at the bar, rolling his shoulders and moving his neck from side to side for just a moment or two.  ( Sleep will come easily tonight. )

              John raises an index finger for her attention, gently requesting a bourbon  ‘ on the rocks ’  . He leans into his breathing as he goes quiet again, focusing on the music briefly, before his drink is set down in front of him.  “ Thanks, ”  is his polite reply. He looks up at her with a level, respectful gaze, but waits to drink. This is more important :  “ And thank you for that tip earlier today. It helped. ”

“Well shit, what the hell does S.H.I.E.L.D. want from me THIS time?”