These past few days have been an absolute shit show full of full on emotional apocalypses, anxiety, overall stress, and a good ol’ kick in the fucking gut from my dear friend Anorexia! Yet, amidst all that tumultuous noise I was still able to die on the floor laughing my ass off while tripping balls with some dear friends. I was able to make some really important realizations about myself and where I was at this point in my life. I learned how to stand up for myself and really, truly speak up for myself. I made my self be heard loud and clear across the radio. This city and the people in it and around it have helped me and (in some cases) forced me to grow so much. I don’t relish the notion of going back to New York, but I know I will be able to weather the storms that lie ahead and it brings a great peace of mind to me.
My moon, my stars, my night time sky,
I don’t know if you will ever see this nor ever even know of its existence, but I will forgive you for what you did some day and soon. I don’t like grudges at all, but this was a lot and you lost control. I know you will learn how to temper all that passion you carry inside you and you will find better and healthier ways to let it out. I have such faith in you and this is coming from the faithless. I love you. But I was very serious when I said that if you push where pushing is to wanted again that I will cut US off and out of MY life. I truly hope you will be able to rise to the challenges that are in front of you and that will continue to lie ahead of you and I hope I am there to see you meet them, not in front of you, but just slightly behind you. I will catch you as best I can when you stumble, but, those stormy tides are yours to whether, just as mine own are just that; mine. I hope we can greet each new day, together, side by side and hand in hand. And if we can’t then I hope you find someone who will do that with you. You deserve it; a partner in crime, an adventure buddy, a forever and always. Thank you for being as vulnerable as you have. And please continue to do so. It will make you stronger.
With love,
The Cat
