Hormones were out of control in Soho like an epidemic this week and we’d be concerned if we didn’t know all of you so well. Recently, we learned that Liv and CJ are expecting a baby, and we’d be happy for them if we weren’t so concerned that daddy would blow all his money playing poker. But wait, is it too presumptuous to call the boss man father dearest? Should we be wondering if Soho’s hottest bachelor Anton fathered Liv’s unborn during their one steamy night? Things might get messy again for Mr. Pleskov, who has a newly minted relationship with Lux Devereux. He was just let off the hook when we found out that Wes is the father of Quinn’s baby, but we should probably teach Anton to wrap it before he taps it. Speaking of fatherhood, Quinn and Wes broke up and we couldn’t be less surprised. Anyone have any information for us? We’re desperate. Breakups are a common thing around here, and Kaylie Prescott has the bug. Just when things seemed like they were heating up with her and porn king Damien, she ended their whirlwind romance in pursuit of the single life. However, we heard rumors that she’s been getting frisky with FBI guy Matt Montgomery. Oops? Meanwhile, newly heroin-addicted Damien has been getting his flirt on, but is he all talk and no action? Scorned ex-husband Troy was Mr. Music for a long time, but it seems like Undefeated has been defeated by Troy’s heartbreak. Will our three new girls in town be able to jumpstart Troy’s broken heart? Will it be hot doctor Chelsea, innocent little sister Embry or journalist girl Marin? Has the elder Kitch been slacking lately in keeping a close eye on little sister Zoe? She seems to be hiding something, and that public argument between her and new girl Marin got us all wondering what little Kitch does behind closed doors. The Kitch siblings might not be getting any, but Vincent Moreli definitely is. We heard that Ryver’s been showing him a good time, but with Ryan out of town, Vinny seems to be setting himself up for disaster. That leaves our two mommies of the year, who are setting a public example for Quinn and Liv on how to parent in style. Caesi’s camping trip this weekend is sure to bring the drama, but did we hear that Bristol is leaving town again? What could Dex’s mommy possibly be running from, or more likely, running to? This week, we’ll be watching you closely, so keep your secrets close, and your condoms closer. We don’t need any more bundles of joy in this hellhole.