#antman3

1-(Graphically, recently, or during the movie) Dead parents. Dead spouse. Dead kids. Dead sibling. Dead loved friend. It is a fucking MIRACLE if their family is healthy and fine the whole time.

2-Killing tons of grunts/soldiers/etc, but THEN showing mercy to the main bad guy WHO HAS KILLED MORE THAN ALL THE SOLDIERS HE KILLED ALREADY COMBINED!

3-Sky beam. I totally stole this from like 3 youtube channels. Everyone hates the fucking sky beam.

4-Talking/monologuing to the audience or themselves.

5-A soundtrack clearly picked to seduce a specific generation. 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s, 00s, and soon! 10s...(and it doesn't have to be time period current.)

6-Trying to be funny/knowing you're funny to the point you're breaking the '3.999999^infinity-rd' wall (almost the 4th wall) and then it stops-being-funny.

7-CGI battles so fast and blurry, you don't even know what's going on. And a million quick cuts ain't fucking helping. Use real sets so it looks like a real fucking fight.

8-No one ever acknowledging the collateral damage (people to buildings alike) they are doing. <Watch 'Invincible' for the MOST GRAPHIC SUPERMAN-LIKE FIGHT EVER!>

9-Basically, no one important dying. SURE, someone died, and they were kinda loved, but...meh. If there are not any stakes, then it's like watching a preschooler's cartoon: we know it all comes out perfect in the end.

10-The bad guy kills his/her own henchperson. COME ON> OVERPLAYED.

11-They introduce side characters that they either dive REAL deep into or NOT at all, then they disappear/don't matter later in the movie (or series).

12-They introduce you to a character you hate initially, but then you find out their backstory with the lead, and you fall in love...then they KILL THEM OFF OUT OF NOWHERE, right when you were ready to open up your heart! Right when you thought a glimmer of hope appeared!! RIGHT WHEN... ... ....YONDU! WHY DID THEY DO YOU LIKE THAT, YONDU!? ... ... ... ...(okay, this one may not count...)

13-There's absolutely no real character arc. They came in as 'a', left as 'A', and some 'BS' happened in the middle.

14-The lead baddie is more interesting than the lead. That's a sin. You go to bad bad land.

15-THE MAIN BAD GUY DOES NOT KILL THE HERO WHEN GIVEN ANY OPPORTUNITY> Fuck that. You'll kill millions of innocents, but not the dude who has been trying to stop you and ruin all your plans? DUMB> DUMB DUMB DUMB. I am SO desperate for anything new, I'd even let a few 'actually kills them but they're brought back to life' fly....(not too many, you slippery fucks).

16 (#12 being kinda a joke one, I wanted an even 15. Spoilers for Ant-man 3.)-'Comes in at the last moment, out of left field, saving grace.' And you can take this how you will, but my personal example was THE FUCKING ANTS IN ANT-MAN 3 WHO WERE HYPER INTELLIGENT AND SAVED THE MULTIVERSE> Ant-man did not do shit. Not really. It was fucking HYPER INTELLIGENT SUPER ANTS WHICH YOU HAD NO IDEA ABOUT TILL THE END OF THE MOVIE. The ONLY hints were: super intelligent ants went into the whatever tiny verse with them (so? So did a table). The old fuck hears something that irritates his headset with the ants. But did that explain them EVOLVING BEYOND HUMANS BECAUSE THEY LIVED THRU MILLIONS OF YEARS AFTER GOING THRU THE SAME PORTAL AS EVERYONE ELSE, BUT ENDING UP SOMEWHERE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT? No. No it did not. At fucking all. In any way. They never explained how the ants, again who lived millions of years somewhere else (cuz Kang didn't even know about them) found the leads and got to them RIGHT IN THE NICK OF TIME. It made no fucking sense. FUCK THAT HORRIBLE ASS MOVIE! (it's why I wrote this fucking list).

Fuck it.

#17-Again from ant man 3. Taking away some of the best parts of your other movies (his posse/crew/work buddies) and adding in old elements no one gave a fuck about (the villain in the original movie. NO ONE GAVE A FUCK, ANT SHIT!)

‘These are my babies Clawen, Newtina, and Langdyne. I found them in a dumpster and they mean more to me than life itself. ‘    :D

If anyone has social media (which I don’t) pls share this with Bryce, Chris, Katherine, Eddie, Paul, and Evangeline they must know!

Also, if you manage to do that, tell Evangeline and Paul that I say Hope tops.

And tell Bryce that I say Claire is so much cooler than Owen in all ways possible.

Also, if you manage to do all of this, please don’t take credit for it. If you do this and like these ships, put ur own hashtag saying you agree to this statement.