#ans156

We had the opportunity to listen to Pam Fessler ,who is a Douglass alumnae working at NPR, speak to us today at our plenary. She spoke about her segments on poverty that portrayed individual accounts of living with little to nothing. She compared poverty in the America to poverty in other countries. A girl at 15 in poverty can be faced with life/ situations in El Salvador, while a 15 girl in America has an iPhone. I liked one specific quote Fessler said. Something along the lines of: people living in poverty (in the US) are not just financially poor, they are emotionally poor. Poverty is multifaceted.

Wendy Cai-Lee

Standing up to leave the room, just because I was white was very uneasy for me. Part of me thought, “Is this allowed? Are we able to do this? Is this even legal?”

During the discussion we talked about how we’ve seen and reacted to racism. Growing up in a very small, white, conservative, republican, literally flying confederate flag town it was easy for me to talk about witnessing effects of blatant racism. A lot of people in the group didn’t have experience with racism. I know many white people (not necessarily in our group) think racism isn’t an issue anymore. We’re lucky to go to such a diversified, liberal school where racism isn’t prominent. But unfortunately it is still alive and well. We discussed “white guilt” for the effects of racism even if we personally have never engaged in racist acts. I thought that aspect was very interesting and something that needed to be discussed.

I like to think of myself as right in the middle of the masculine/feminine scale. I have my days where I’ll rock a dress and I have my days feeling comfortable in a flannel and beanie. But overall, I guess I lean more towards a “tom boy” image. I just feel incomplete if I’m not wearing combat boots. I have my biases as to why, though. While I was growing up, femininity was perceived to be weak. I never wanted to be the typical “girlie girl” growing up because that image held the connotations of being dumb, air headed, weak, and dependent. I was so adamantly against the idea that, as I grew up, my parents teased me if I let myself show any slight interest in doing my nails or makeup. Comments such as, “I thought you weren’t into that stuff.” or “Oooh who are you dressing up for?” made me reside back into my shell of (at the time) unknowing self loathing of being born female. I didn’t want to be “a typical girl” (whatever that is). I wanted to be different, strong, and independent. 

As I’ve grown up I’ve overcome these stigmas and have let myself embrace my feminine side. I started wearing makeup (and only mastered the art my senior year of high school). I started wearing heels to formal events. I started wearing perfume and buying bath bombs. I drank coffee from Starbucks. I started embracing the color pink and now my hair resembles a cotton candy swirl (which comes with it’s own social stigmas). However, I still have my days where I feel uncomfortable by what I’m wearing. Even one article of clothing can change someone’s perception of you. For today’s talk on Gender Expression, I’ll focus on my anxieties focusing around the typical teenage feminine female look. 

I’ll be blunt. Whenever I wear yoga pants I feel sea sick. The fabric is comfortable and stretchy and looks socially acceptable without the effort or discomfort. But I always feel like people are staring at me. I don’t mean it in a narcissistic way. I feel...objectified. Every corner I turn, I feel like people stare and judge me on what “assets” I do or don’t have. There’s also the dreaded fear of camel toe that haunts my soul every time I walk. I feel like these insecurities (for me) stem back to the good ol’ grade school days where a girl addressed the fact I only wore sweatpants because I was “too fat to wear jeans”. I internalized a pathetic comment from a 10 year old for years. I gave up comfort to squeeze into jeans for the next decade of my life. Social constructs surrounding femininity don’t help either. The stereotype of a “basic white girl” comes to mind, filled with connotations of being perceived as the air headed cookie cutter model that people mock. All surrounded a certain type of pants that are apparently so “proactive” and “distracting” that they’ve been banned from certain schools and work places. But that’s another story.

Women can’t do anything without being chastised. Even the type of PANTS a woman wears judges her character. Too tight, too short, too baggy, too long. It’s always too much to be a woman. I feel like as women, we’re always put in the spotlight, even if the attention is not asked for. I can never blend into the background. I can’t even order a coffee without direct or indirect attention following me. I always thought it would be easier to be a guy and be able to throw on a t-shirt and jeans, and leave. But then I realized, I can do that if I want to! For me, they key to comfort is confidence. Whether I decide to dress up for the day or put on a crew neck and snapback (like today), I know I feel comfortable. I don’t dress to impress anyone other than myself.

My ideals around gender associated with clothing has almost diminished. Who cares what people wear? When there’s good vibes, the outside exterior doesn’t matter.

“Abortion. How many times have I said ‘abortion’ already in this speech?...It’s not a bad word. It’s a fundamental part of women’s reproductive health.” -Laura Pankins (paraphrased). I heard these words while, ironically, sitting in a chapel. A religious meeting ground where I usually envision people gathering to condemn such matters. However, today, the elevated ceilings rang with empowerment.

Are you pro-choice or pro-life? What about pro-women? Women making choices that’s right for themselves. The great thing about feminism is that whatever you believe, you have the right to express your opinions, morals, and actions without judgement. Pro-choice does not necessarily means pro-abortion. It means having the choice between keeping the child, giving it up for adoption, or having an abortion without judgement, guilt, or reprimand. Laura Pankins focused today on abortion, treating it as a health issue. Its enlightening to hear kind, reassuring words in a confident manner. Abortion is usually talked about in a tip-toe type fashion. You don’t hear people talking about it on the bus or over dinner or even in sexual health education classes. But why is something that 1 in 3 women experience kept such a secret to the general public? Women should not fear being criticized by their life choices. Society treats the topic as abortion similar to an abusive relationship. At first, talking about abortion in one setting or as a hypothetical situation seems fine. Actually considering an abortion or going to an abortion clinic is another story. Women find themselves being berated, intimidated, guilted, and even put in physical endangerment by both mean and women who don’t agree. Even if people don’t particularly agree that abortion is the right choice for them does not mean they get to exercise the right to harass, belittle, and endanger people with different opinions. In 2015 for god’s sake and yet people still act like animals. We can all express our opinions in a calm matter. But abortion isn’t an opinion that should designate legality, only personal decision.