#anotherpoem

Every decision I made was to try to bring you happiness.

So I should be glad you are.

But I’m not.

I’m jealous:

jealous I’m not the reason behind your smile,

your beautiful, radiant, captivating smile.

It’s contagious.

When you and I were we

Am I the reason your smile left?

Why it became such an infrequent wonder?

Is that why I crave it so badly now?

Did I get used to holding out

for those rare times when I’d make a joke

that you’d sincerely laugh at?

Now, things are beyond different.

In a way that

I would have never imagined in a thousand lifetimes.

We don’t talk.

Yet, when I see you

.

and I see her.

.

and I see your smile.

.

.

.

.

.

.

They say we’re made of stardust

that inside each of us

there are molecules of shimmer

and atoms of fire that once

danced and twinkled up in the night sky.

  They say that the stars got lonely up there a long time ago

lighting up the darkness solitary work, after all

so some of the stars sparkled their way

to Earth,

their radiance kissing the ground

and mingling in with the footsteps of animals, and

all shiny-furred and magical now,

those animals slowly turned into us.

  They say that we’re made of stardust

composed of the same courage and beauty

as the pinpricks of light we see each evening

that each of us are as lovely

as the occasional streaks of magic

that shoot across our skies and gives us a quiet moment

for a wish

  They say that when we die,

our souls pause for a moment and look up

before soaring up to their familiar homeland

in the blue-black expanse of sky

all night-shimmer and sparkle-wonderful

and they watch the rest of us

twinkle out

You’re like a floor board

That always squeaks 

with each rotation of a stranger   

to remind me 

of how much i loved your scent

your tracing of the freckle constellations of my skin 

and now all that remains 

is the squeak of a floorboard