#anonybus

so, i'm autistic. mostly this doesn't impact my online interactions very much, especially since i find it much easier to express myself in written words than verbally. it does, however, mean that there are certain areas of my life where i really, really prefer strict order in things. if i want to overcome that innate urge, it's possible, but i often have to put time and effort into overcoming the discomfort that comes with not structuring things the way i like them structured.

one of the things that i'm most hidebound about wanting structured is muse blogs. i've been rping most of my life, and i'm afraid i've left my spring chicken days behind me. the games and formats i used before tumblr were such that you had one or two characters in a persistent world. you played your one or two characters and built relationships with all the other players on the game and the world felt alive, changed with the impact of the characters living in it. tumblr rp doesn't work that way, really, but that was what i was comfortable with, so when i first really started rping here, i did what i felt i needed to do to stay close to the format as i was used to until i could work through the discomfort. it's also why i have a separate blog for each of my characters and am really, really miserably bad at keeping more than one muse active at a time. there was a time where i wasn't even multi-verse. i was just single verse single muse and that was that. i preferred my rp partners to have one blog with one muse because i felt that made it easier for me to get to know that muse and be comfortable with them.

when teen wolf was airing that worked out okay because there were plenty of people playing characters from it and most of them focused on single-muse blogs. there were plenty of most characters to go around and i could knit together little 'verses with multiple canons in them and get my rp fill. but now the show's been off-air for a while, and the fandom is shrinking. that happens, that's natural, but teen wolf remains my hyperfixation (i don't really have any control over what IS my hyperfixation) so i'm still looking to rp as stiles. i'm also a ravenous rp-er since it is my main hobby and has been since i was like 11, so i ended up focusing the time and energy on working through my discomfort with multi-muse blogs because, to be absolutely frank, remaining that selective was going to net me zero rp partners. it kind of already has, it's very rare anyone other than @goingtosave is willing to play with me even though i would like to think these days i'm very open to most rp and @goingtosave and i would also love to come as a package deal to any muses looking for a scott-and-stiles duo. (please love us we are friendly we promise)

i actually changed this rule about multi-muses a while ago, but i've been very lazy and haven't revamped my blog so the old rules are still linked in the tag, too. clearly this means i should prioritize making things less confusing.