#anichatter

i’m going to be talking abt this for years but i just want to throw it out there that nile is the heart & soul of this narrative and that without her everything goes to shit? she’s a powerful and compelling protagonist whose internal conflict is both really fresh and really complicated. without her — her capacity for love, her capacity for compassion, her capacity for loyalty, even when none of these things seem deserved — everything goes to hell. without her, there’s absolutely nothing. she’s the source of andy’s revival, she’s the source of booker’s redemption, and neither of these things come at the expense of her characterization or her narrative importance: they come because she is who she is. she stands on her own without being alienated from the narrative. nile freeman is absolutely everything in this film. 

good morning i’m still thinking about this: sam dying while dean lives makes infinitely more sense in terms of fulfilling character arcs because the show begins with sam needing to learn that being like his father doesn’t mean he is his father and that he can love his brother without becoming john — mirroring the most beautiful parts of john’s character without stepping entirely into his shoes — and that he needs to recognize the importance of family, whereas dean needs to learn that he can stand on his own and that he can create a family and a life of his own making if he chooses. it’s about choices. the whole thing is about choices, not about fate. the great big battle against dean becoming michael’s vessel is a battle of choice over fate. lucifer terrifies heaven because he embodies choice over fate. the battle against chuck is a battle of choice over fate. it’s two very different healing narratives — one in which healing requires selflessness and another in which healing requires selfishness — and i genuinely say this as someone who loves sam very much but some character arcs are best served by the character dying and of the boys sam’s the one whose death would have fit the show & the character’s development more

hallie only said she’d marry me if i watched riverdale so if you’ve ever wondered what my liveblogging of pure fucking absurdity looks like check it out here. do not expect quality, do not expect coherence, this is a gift and it is intended to be crap. it is also a sideblog. 

some spn thoughts no one asked for: dean is & always has been a comfort character for me and dean was integral to me getting back on my feet in 2012 & 2013. the show, for me, ended with season five, and while i’ve tried to watch past it i’ve never made it. i’ll watch it eventually, but — dean deserved better, sam deserved better, cas deserved better, the harvelles deserved better, ruby deserved better, rufus deserved better, sarah deserved better, missouri deserved better, every single character deserved better than they got and it genuinely pisses me off that such a lackluster finale that completely ignores fifteen years of character and lore development to give dean the ending he always wanted to avoid and was always afraid would be his: dying in pain and leaving his brother behind, his entire life defined exclusively by the blood he’d shed and the lives he’d ended.

so there’s this like very specific genre of horror that i’m calling “catholic horror” and it utilizes catholic theology alongside catholic aesthetics in such a way that it uses the existence of satan to prove the existence of god / the existence of absolute evil to prove the existence of absolute good (cbs evil, a&e damien, possibly helstrom? will get back to you on that) and every time i find this catholic horror it pretty much absorbs my entire attention and becomes a major piece of my personality so like. that’s where i’m at. 

i’m watching the stand bc i love kat & amber and want to see them kick ass but i’m like five minutes in and already this is one of the most uncomfortable media experiences i’ve had during covid. like i Knew it would be weird but i keep thinking abt the early days in new york, and in italy, and how my grandmother’s hometown got absolutely ravaged, and god. it’s weird. it’s really weird. i’m gonna keep watching it but it’s so weird.