#angsty!

“Steve, I want to be with you.”

“…no”

“No?”

“No, Billy. Please don’t do this.” Steve’s voice begins to break. 

“What do you mean? I-I don’t understand…” Billy raises an eyebrow, and Steve keeps walking swiftly…thunder rumbling behind them.

The boys had gone out to see Robin’s roller derby game that night, and it was Billy’s turn to drive them around in his car. After the game and dropping off Robin, Billy made way to Steve’s house. On the road, Billy’s Camaro began to feel funny under the steering wheel; his classic car unfortunately began to finally feel some pressure from usage. Tonight’s problem was something Billy wouldn’t be able to fix at the moment, so he phoned Max about the issue and mentioned that Steve would give him a lift home tonight. They were only a block or so away from Steve’s house, so Billy decided to be a gentleman and walk Steve home. That’s when Billy found the courage to confess his feelings for Steve, but it didn’t seem like he was taking the news so well.

Steve was silent, and Billy ever so worried. They had been hanging out a lot more often after Steve graduated from High School, and seeing Steve almost everyday was making Billy DESPERATE to let all those feelings out. Perhaps he was moving things too fast for Steve to process? What if he was scaring him?

“Please Steve, say something…”

“I-It’s complicated, Billy. I don’t know how to explain this to you…” A beat. “There are things you wouldn’t believe.”

“Try me.” Billy attempts a smug smile to lighten the mood, but Steve only felt more defeated.

“Just…don’t worry about it.” Steve crosses his arms in front of him to help with the sudden cold winds. They turn the corner and his house comes into sight.

“Don’t tell me your parents have a problem with you dating men.” In response, Billy puts his hands in his pockets. Maybe to radiate assertiveness, or maybe he was also cold.“It’s not because of that-”

“Steve, it’s alright…my dad is the same way, but I swear to you…if anybody in your family is hurting you because of that I will break their faces.” He tries to keep a brisk mood amongst the brooding clouds in the sky. Steve stops a little to look at Billy and he sighs.

“I just don’t want feelings to get hurt…okay?”

“Yours, or mine?” Billy gives him a playful punch to the elbow with a light chuckle.

“Billy, stop!”

“I’m just playing, Bambi.” He says disheartened. “I would never intend to hurt your feelings at all and-” Billy realises Steve’s eyes look watery and they both come to a stop. “Oh no….now you’re making me look like a liar. Stevie no! I’m sorry, I wasn’t trying to make you cry!”

Loud thunder hushes Billy…and as if Steve were controlling the weather, it begins to rain as the first tear rolls down his cheek. Billy was mesmerised. The light droplets hit Steve’s face like mist on a vast meadow in the morning; his tears becoming part of the rainwater running down his face.

Billy looks glumly at Steve and begins to uselessly wipe his face with the sleeves of his hoodie. He brings his left hand down to hold Steve’s arm and leaves the other hand on his face, embracing it.

“Steve…look. If letting you go is the only choice I have, I will. Because I love you. Okay…I’m sorry about all this mess.” But Steve just shakes his head. He looks closely at Billy’s eyes and lashes. Those darn eyelashes that make Steve melt, were now making dreamlike shapes as they clumped together with the rain. The water droplets, like the purest of crystals, hung to his lashes, flickered under the moonlight and dropped from his eyes with every blink he took. Steve brought his left hand up to wrap around Billy’s wrist.

“B-but Billy…it’s raining and you can’t just leave like this…” he sniffles the whole way through and takes a few raspy breaths. Billy wants to kiss his wet lips so badly. The moonlight perfectly shining onto them and making his doe eyes gleam so beautifully; it just…

And then Billy was kissing Steve’s lips.

Time froze, but just as quickly as Billy had put his lips to Steve’s, the moment briefly ended; Steve pushes him back a little and his sneaker slips over the edge of the sidewalk. Billy hangs on to Steve’s arms in an attempt to break the fall by pulling up, and Steve falls on his bum with a small splash.

“Oh my gosh, sweetie, are you okay?” Billy asks softly, filled with worry.

“Billy!” Steve angrily takes his hands away from him. “I said no! Why did you have to fucking kiss me?” He curls on himself atop the sidewalk, grabbing his knees and burying his face in his arms. His sweatshirt completely soaked and heavy, clinging delicately to his skin.

“I’m sorry Steve…” He starts to sit next to Steve. “I couldn’t help myself, you’re just so endearing and I love you and I-”

“I don’t want you to love me!” He yells, muffled through his arms. “I want you safe…”

Billy looks down to the rainwater forming rivers down the street. He puts one leg down to make an obstacle for the stream with his combat boot “Wow, pretty boy…that’s a little harsh.”

Steve looks up and sniffles into his right sleeve. “Billy…I’m not trying to tell you who you can and can’t love! I’m just so scared…I don’t want anything to happen to you.”

“Steve, please just tell me what you mean by that.” They look at each other. “I can tell that you like me back…so please just, help me understand.” Another beat. “Please?”

So Steve takes a few deep breaths, and Billy tells him to calm down and take his time. He offers Steve his hand, and Steve actually takes it, so Billy smiles warmly despite the cold rain.

Steve talks to Billy about one and many of his insecurities; how he sometimes feels doubtful about his future, or that people don’t think he’s a cool kid anymore…how he’s lost some friendships and is constantly paranoid of fucking up with his current friends and loosing them too. Billy rubs his back every now and again…Steve finally uncurling from his sitting position and taking another trembling breath before he talks about Barbara. He begins sobbing again as he tells Billy about this. Steve is very afraid that if Billy gets too close to him, his life could be in jeopardy because of Demogorgons and government casualties. Steve doesn’t tell Billy about the Upside Down…even though he really wants to. He only mentions how Barbara disappeared, and how he feels just as guilty as Nancy for not being around his pool when “that thing…that person?” took her away. It haunts him now and again…making him feel hesitant and afraid that it might happen again. What if this time it happens to someone he brings really close into his life? What if that someone is Billy? He doesn’t want to lose him. Not Billy. He wants to keep him close…even though he believes he shouldn’t do that.

“I’m sorry Steve…I had no idea you lost a friend in your own house.” He moves Steve’s wet hair from his face and kisses him on the forehead; rain dripping from both of their faces.

“I’m sorry Billy. I just really don’t want the same thing to happen to you!” he wipes his face with his wet, floppy sleeves. “I would really hate to lose you, Bill.”

“But Princess…no one’s going to take me.” Billy smiles, taking Steve’s face into his hands; the rain only a drizzle now. “I won’t allow it. I won’t let anything come near me or you, and no ones’ feelings will get hurt.” He then holds him in a tight, damp hug. “I promise.” And Steve smiles in the comfort. He hugs back and it makes him feel tender and bright, like how a home is supposed to feel. Steve just wants to stay enveloped in this hug forever.

“Thank you, Billy. Thank you for listening.” They begin to break the hug but Steve hesitates a little, and Billy takes his hands. “I’m also sorry for telling you all of this outside in the rain. Jeez…we’re going to catch a cold or something…”

“Don’t worry kitten. We were already soaked…what were a few more drops going to do?” Billy starts to get up.

Steve chuckles (mostly at the pet name) and holds onto Billy’s hands as he helps him get up. They walk towards Steve’s house, still enveloped in a side hug and giggling all the way inside.

Steve asks Billy if he wants to shower. He says sure, and Steve takes him to the guest bathroom, explaining every fancy handle from the shower and telling him where they keep the towels. He goes upstairs to the other bathroom so he may shower as well and to look for some clothes or whatever.

When he comes back downstairs, the smell of delicious coffee brewing hits him like a wave of soft petals. Finding Billy making the coffee wasn’t surprising; he’d been to his house before and knows how to operate his coffee machine…what slap Steve across the face is the fact that Billy was standing in the kitchen, waiting for the coffee to be ready in his fucking boxer briefs - towel around his hair.

“Oh my goodness, Billy. Why?” Steve jokingly shields his eyes.

“I have no clothes lying around in your house. What did you want me to do?”

“I told you I was going to leave a change of clothes for you on the side table of the hallway!” He takes his hands off his face and Billy is a mere inches from his face. He blushes madder red.

“Guess I couldn’t hear you over the shower…and my loud music, huh?” And then Billy brushes past Steve. His heart thumping against his chest hard and he just stays there breathing; his chest rising and falling deeply. He snaps out of it and walks into the kitchen to bring down a set of mugs, the sugar, half & half and some milk.

When Billy comes back he’s only wearing a fluffy green sweater and the dry boxer briefs Steve had lent him.

“That’s not the shirt I left out for you…” Steve says as he looks back to serve the coffee.

“It was too tight. I went up to your room for something more comfy.” He smiles confidently at Steve and sits in the high chairs of the kitchen bar table.

“Oh Billy…what am I going to do with you?” Steve says as he places the coffee mugs on the table.

“Become my boyfriend, duh.” He takes the coffee mug with a smirk and takes a sip.

Steve’s eyes are dazzling. He’s overjoyed and just smiles from ear to ear; shyly. Hiding his smile as he looks down to put some sugar and half & half in his coffee, as well as some milk onto Billy’s. All he manages to muster after his melting frenzy is “Ok!” and Billy shoots him a glowing wink back.

“D’you think I can spend the night instead of you driving me home, pretty boy?” Billy asks, blushing a little.

“Oh…sure thing, Bill. I would really like that.” Steve flushes as hot as his coffee mug, and he’s tired of hiding it. “Just make sure to phone Max about the new plan, okay?” His smile as sweet as his coffee.

Billy nods his head, “Sure thing, peaches.” and sips more milky coffee. “Hey, wanna go to the living room? Maybe there’s a cool movie on the telly.”

“Ok, Bills. Let me go get a blanket!”

After phoning Max, Billy takes the coffee mugs to the living room and Steve returns with the cosiest blanket he owns. As they sit on the couch, Steve catches a glimpse of the rain falling heavily again onto his pool. He shivers a little and Billy wraps him in a hug, kissing his shoulder.

“I’ll keep you and myself safe, Stevie. I promise.”

“Oh, Billy. I… I want to be happy with you. Now and in the future….” Steve faces Billy and hugs him back.

“I do too, sweetie. I really do.” And they both share a kiss before Billy gets up to close the blinds facing the pool. He sits back down and envelops them both in the blanket before Steve turns on the television.

The fight had been tiresome, the Extreme mission had given the WOL absolute hell with how she would cast her flames. 

However there was a flit in her power use, and something held back a devastating Despair. The new WOL Divinity, sensed that Mormo wasn’t alone in the body. A glimmer of hope, Divinity presses forward and closes her eyes as she uses her holy abilities.

The Libra spirit, had to try something. So she did.

“Kiya? Are you still there? If you are, use your ability transpose.” It took a few moments of fire for her to see it and a soft flit between fire to ice. Divinity smiles to herself.

“He misses you. If there is a way to come out of this, please. It doesn’t have to end with death.” She tries.

There is a falter in Mormo’s attacks. They diminish, as well as the form.

“But I summoned a Primal. Into myself... I’m no different than his father... He probably hates me for this...”  Kiya’s voice, her voice is soft and weakened. Almost fizzled out from the double echo of Mormo’s.

“Silence you! And you! She has made a cardinal sin in the eyes of the realm!” Mormo comments and throws another barrage of fire and ice. Divinity uses a barrier to keep the attacks down.

“Kiya, it can be like your friend Ysayle.  Aymeric does not hate you. He thinks you are gone, but far from hates you.” Divinity tries harder. She is reminded of Kivera when she went mad with grief. Divinity walks forward, and Kiya is on guard.

“He locked me in here for so long though... I sense him from time to time... outside the walls.” Kiya buries her face into her hands, and feels a sharp pain in her head.

Divinity casts a heal onto her, and Kiya looks over.

“Why are you healing me? You should kill me...”

“I can’t do that. Not with this silver lining granted to us.” Kiya feels another sharp pain in her head and doubles over onto her knees.

Divinity runs up to her, and sees a tiny urn that fell from inside Kiya’s coat. 

Divinity’s graceful smile, she thinks for a moment what her leader would do, then thinks of herself in what she wanted to do for Kivera when she was in so much pain. Dropping her healer staff, Divinity closes the distance and wraps her arms around Kiya’s huddled form.

The kindness reminded her of what she missed and needed. She started to cry, and feel the hold from Mormo slipping away. Holding Kiya close, Divinity murmurs something, and expels Mormo out, with quick work. Divinity seals the entity away. 

With Mormo out, Divinity feels the overwhelming power dissipate. With it, Kiya collapses to her knees fully, drained of her energy. But the most she is doing, Kiya is crying full into Divinity’s chest, something she hadn’t felt in years. 

“Ah... shh. It’s over now.” Divinity pets her head, in the same manner Kivera did for her when she was on the pyre.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! Please! Forgive me! Aymeric!! I... Aymeric!! You’re all I have!” Divinity looks over to one of the Temple Knights that accompanied her.

“I think the threat has been neutralized. No blood was spilled today, I think she can go home.” A furious nod, and Divinity just pets Kiya’s head. She notes that with the powers gone it had left her bare. Divinity removes the white cloak from around herself and covers Kiya with it and helps steady her on her feet.

“Hey, hey. We should get you home now?” Divinity earns a nod from Kiya.

They slowly walk till Divinity has Kiya cling to her back. At the entrance to Dusk Vigil, Aymeric sees the two, he had been pacing from the time Divinity went in, he felt the power shift, then fizzle out. He was expecting a dead body to be carried out. Not one clinging to Divinity’s back.

Aymeric looks over Divinity, and then to Kiya. His love is refusing to look him in the eye, burying her face into the white of Divinity’s hair.

“Come now Kiya, do you not have something to say to him? You were crying it into my chest earlier.” Aymeric is hopeful with the address of his love’s name. When he sees Kiya lift her head up, a sense of relief hits him. Her mannerisms the same as he always knew. Whenever she was guilty, she always looked to the side.

“A-Aymeric... I’m sorry! I should have come to you... I’m sorry.” Aymeric is already at her side once he was certain it is his lover and not a demon in her body.

He is pulling her from Divinity’s back and into his arms, collapsing onto his knees with her held tight.

“Godsdamn you! Halone! By the Fury! Kiya! I thought... you were going to die.. and I had ordered it!” Aymeric holds her so tight to him Kiya realizes she had made such a horrible mistake.

“Will you forgive me.... I can understand... if you hate me for this...” Aymeric pulls her back in his arms and gives her a glare. Aymeric has her head in her hands as he presses his forehead to hers.

“My love! MY Love! Hate you? Halone be praised.. you are returned to me. I will never forgive you for what you did. However... will take all of the rest of our lives together to make it up to me. Understand? No adventures for three years. Staying with me.” Kiya can’t look away from him, and feels hot tears spill from her eyes, as well as see them out of his.

“Y-yes Aymeric.”

“Yes, Lord Commander.” He corrects her for right now.

“Yes, Lord Commander!” His face softens after she agrees, and winds his arms around her and gives her a deep kiss. One that has her head spinning, and Divinity looking away. 

Aymeric breaks the kiss and lifts his wife up into his arms. A newer knight approaches them.

“S-ser Aymeric, what do we do about her? aren’t you worried she is Enthralled? or playing a trick?”

“She is not playing a trick. Mormo was expelled, I felt and saw it myself.” Divinity counters before Kiya’s name can be dragged. He is also met with a stare from Aymeric. He clearly does not want to discuss what happened.

“Let us count our blessings. My warrior of light has returned. I do not wish to hear anyone speak ill of her in my presence. I might lose mine temper.” He warns, turning on his heels he carries Kiya out of the frozen place. Leaving Divinity to collect herself.

The days after, Kiya was on strict bedrest for observation as well as resting from the last few years did a number on her body with little eating it did. 

Kiya had a nightly visitor in Aymeric, sleeping next to her, specially the first night he brought her back not leaving her side once. Kiya got more of an earful from him when she was a little bit better. Even Estinien showed up leaving behind flowers in the vase.

Kiya lays on her back, thinking of what went awry with her spell. She feels a flick on her forehead drawing her out of her thoughts and she sees Aymeric’s firm eyes staring at her.

“I know that look. Do not dwell on what happened.” He was in the middle of washing her up, and saw how her eyes drifted off into almost another world, when she thinks of her past, or when she would do something stupid.

“Yes love.” Aymeric feels nothing but relief in his heart, having her back. He doesn’t know what he would have done if her body was brought. Besides mourn and think of all the dreams shattered.

Aymeric lays in next to her after she is dressed in fresh robes. He noted she has color in her face again.

“You look much better. You might be able to come home with me in a few more days.”

“Really?” She earns a nod from him.

“I can’t wait.. I am getting tired of this ceiling to stare at.”

“Oh? Then why not stare at me instead.” Aymeric gets her attention again, a blush on her face.

“Because you know I can’t stare at you for too long.” 

Aymeric shakes his head, and tugs her into his arms.

“I really thought I was going to lose you. All of you. When I first got word you had summoned a Primal. I thought they were joking until I saw it. You looked nothing like yourself. I did not feel you in there.. I rather had, have you die before I allowed a monster to take over you.” He voices his concerns and his feelings, Kiya’s eyes spring tears at the memory.

“To be honest... I felt consumed, I vaguely understand what Estinien went through with Nidhogg… Different circumstances. And Nidhogg was no primal. All I wanted to do... was be more helpful in the fights to come.” Aymeric pulls her back to look at her again.

“And I told you to leave the fighting to us for the time being while you rested. Had I known what happened.. I would have never left your side. You should have written me. Talked to me. Like you always did. What made you feel like you couldn’t talk to me? Your husband, your soulbound mate.” 

“I did not want to burden you with more...” Kiya is pulled into his arms tight again.

“Godsdamn you... You are never a burden. You were never one when you came to me after Haurchefant, then when you came to me after Azys Lla, and every person you had lost. You would never burden me with your pain. Tis why we made our vows eternal. I am to be your shoulder, your hand, your solace. Just as you are mine.” Aymeric feels her shuddering in crying again. She needed him more than ever.

“I’m sorry....”

“Kiya, all will be fine. But you, you need real rest.” Aymeric helps rest her down on her back. He fits in next to her, and tugs her as close as she gets into his arms till she relaxes.

They entwine their hands together, Aymeric pressing kisses to her fingers till each one has been kissed. He even presses his face to her hair to breathe in her scent. Something he had missed in his own bed terribly.