#angstship

Isis/Seto.

What they watch during movie dates and what kind of snacks they get from concessions.

Isis is probably the one that actually likes avant gardefilm, and the most obscure foreign films, and really quiet personal dramas.Seto finds all of it utterly boring, but he tags along anyhow and, ifeverything goes according to plan, he falls asleep within the first half hour,and Isis gets to enjoy the screen, her junior mints, and Seto’s adorablesleeping face. And Seto wakes up refreshed from his power nap so it was awin-win for everyone.

Which one gets in to a fight with the other’s parents.

Everyone’s parents are so dead. But let me say Isis andMokuba get along stunningly well, but Seto and Malik are always at each other’s throats. It probably starts with mild irritation from the way Battle City wentdown, but then it starts magnifying. Both Malik and Seto are rude and failedtheir anger management classes after all, so small infringements on eachother’s space start to add up, and then eventually the worst of both of themstarts to show, and Isis becomes the battleground for their possessiveness, andnow they avoid so much as being in the same room as one another. Seto andRishid also don’t get along great, although not nearly as bad as Seto andMalik. They both make super stern faces at each other, and don’t say anything,and refuse to break eye contact for five minutes, until finally one of them hassomething else that requires their attention. And it seems to everybody theydon’t get along, but really on the inside of their head they’re like ??? andcompletely unable to interpret each other, and both of them are wondering ifthey did something to offend the other but neither can think of anything. Badat communicating bros.

What kind of street performance they’d put on to raise money if they were stranded somewhere.

Isis had the necklace in canon, of course, but I wonder ifshe’s a skilled cold-reader? I can see her being good at something like that.She recruits Seto to help her set up a stand for palm reading, and gives reallyvague but good advice and puts on a bit of a show and completely charms thepeople walking by. Seto is really grumpy about it – first of all fortunetelling is BS, and second of all Isis is totally playing up her ‘exotic’foreignness. But then Isis tells him to buzz off – what would he know aboutbeing foreign in Japan/France, or being a cave-dwelling Egyptian with anunusual phenotype, and she’s only doing this so they can afford a room for thenight so he can suck it up and be appreciative of her amazing skills pls.

How they’d be as parents if they had-a-kid/someone-forced-a-kid-on-them.

Emotionally distant parents… haha. Unplanned (or at leasthalf-unplanned) trustshipping baby is actually one of my favourite headcanons.Somehow they overlooked something obvious~Anyhow, Isis is a little better at being soft, compared to Seto, and definitelybetter at being attentive. I wouldn’t call her understanding, exactly, butshe’s not really going to hold what she doesn’t understand against you – if youget me? She’s also more physically affectionate – kisses to the brow, andwashing the kid’s hair in warm water, and sleeping cuddled next to baby. But,otherwise, they’re both kind of inclined to do the same kind of parenting jobs– handling the soft-quiet moments before bedtime, and being a unified wall ofice when they need to discipline. And, anyhow, they’re both really into theircareers, so I think they’d hire somebody to take care of the kid in themornings – feed breakfast, and pack lunch, and drive to school. They kind ofsplit the evening shift between them then.

Who would cause the most trouble during a camping trip and how.

See, unlike Seto and Jounouchi where I could imagineJounouchi dragging Seto out on a recreational camping trip (sort of) againsthis will, I can’t imagine either Seto or Isis going camping unless there wassome reason they needed to gocamping. Maybe they’re visiting some remote archaeological site, and Setocouldn’t get clearance to fly the Blue Eyes jet in. Or there isn’t a place toland the Blue Eyes jet and Isis refuses to jump from a moving plane, lmao. Ormaybe they’re stuck in virtual reality or (netherworld) Ancient Egpyt or somefantasy AU or are just stranded in the middle of nowhere after some traumaticevent? Since they are comrades in ‘can this be over already?’ they worktogether with terrible efficiency. They are neat and direct and to the pointwhile setting up camp and making meals and packing up. Neither idly causestrouble. I think the worst of it is maybe that Isis isn’t quite as athleticallyinclined as Seto, or rather her stride is much shorter, so while they’re walkingthere’s a moment where she’s exhausted and fallen quite a bit behind, andSeto’s like ‘what’s wrong? hurry up.’ And Isis, who is kind of embarrassed thatshe’s struggling is finally tired of sucking it up and is like, ‘can we restfor half and hour,’ except it’s not really a question. And then Seto is like,‘Hn,’ kind of annoyed, but they both sit so Isis can catch her breath and eatsomething.

What they would give each other as both a serious gift and a troll gift.

I think Isis likes gift giving type traditions, so she mightinsist upon it until it actually makes it through Seto’s skull. Isis puts a lotof thought into getting beautiful wood carvings and vases and other home goods,and Seto just thinks all of it is terrible trash, lol. Comparatively Seto buysher things like leather wallets and purses and dresses without thinking, andIsis actually cherishes them, lol. Eventually I think both of them happen uponbetter methods though. Seto finds the Metropolitan Museum of Art Store magazineand actually gets a clue. And Isis starts to buy him books instead – not everyone is a winner, but Seto enjoys at least half her picks so~Would- Would either of them buy troll gifts? Isis might buy Seto sillykeychains with little kites or blue eyes just for fun. But even that’s not thattrolly.

Who moves in with them as an unfortunate third wheel roommate.

MALIK.

How they feel about handholding and sudden kisses in the ear-cheek vicinity.

Handholding: no. not casually at least. Sudden kisses: inpublic – no. in private – one of the few joys in Seto’s life. Soooo, sameanswers as for JouKai. But Jou kind of is disposed towards casually touchingSeto anyhow though in a way that Isis is definitely not – ie. clasping Seto’sshoulder, pushing Seto in one direction or another, dragging Seto somewhere bythe arm. Isis and Seto are one of those couples who never touch each other inpublic at all, and you think they must be really frigid with each other in privateand are only together for cerebral reasons. But actually that’s not true atall, it’s just they’re just not… touchy-feely.

Who’s always snapping photos and who’s pack-ratting clutter.

Mokuba is the one with the camera. If it wasn’t for him andtheir other friends and the Kaiba Corp security cameras, there would be nophotographic record of either of them, lol.And Isis is the pack rat, I guess. She’s collected too much artwork and toomany artefacts and too many things from the museum store. A lot of it justspends time collecting dust in storage. It’s all very nice clutter though. Her and Seto are both very obnoxiously upperclass, so their house is all minimalist and everything in place.

Who hogs the bathroom in the morning and who causes toothpaste related drama.

Isis probably takes longer in the bathroom since she wearscosmetics and all, but I’m not sure either of them is a bathroom hog. And Isisboops Seto on the nose with a gob of toothpaste and then kisses it off and Setowas experiencing whiplash with the way he went from being furious to charmed inzero seconds.

What their matching costumes were for that one party.

They went to that one party as a couple of obscurehistorical or literary figures – so obscure even I have no idea who. Literallynobody got it except Malik, who thought it was dumb.

If I think they’d get married and why or why not.

Maaaaybe? In an emotional sense, I think Isis would want tobe married to Seto more than the other way around. I don’t think it’d be amake-or-break issue for her, but she might end up feeling him out on the topicinstead of the other way around, so long as there wasn’t an outside factorinvolved. Like, going with unplanned pregnancy, Seto might suck up hisreservations and suggest marriage first out of a sense of responsibility and I’m not gonna not give my child my name.And if immigration and citizenship became an issue that could be resolved withmarriage, I don’t think Seto would rule it out as a practical solution. Itdepends on where they’re living too – I think the name thing would likely be anissue with Isis too, but if they’re getting married in a place like Francewhere they don’t have to share a name and entry into the koseki isn’t an issue,it seems more likely. But, then, I’m not always sure these guys have a typicalkind of relationship that they’d understand through marriage in the firstplace. I don’t typically think Kaiba’s interested in living outside Japan, andI don’t typically think Isis is interested in living outside of Northern Africaor Western Europe – and there are lots of circumstances where it might happenanyhow, but sometimes I think they’re a kind of friends on the phone and acouple while in town kind of ship. I’m not sure either of them would feel theburdening NEED for a constant romantic or sexual relationship in their life, sothey might be satisfied with that kind of thing. Maybe when they’re old andhave more free time they want to be closer, so they move in together somewherein their sixties or seventies, but by that point who cares about marriage?They’ve got their own thing going on~ There are so many ways this could go…

Who has over a thousand unread emails in their inbox or five hundred icons on their computer desktop and how the other reacts to this gross mismanagement.

Kaiba more so than Isis, but their emails and computerdesktops are both disaster zones. Their actual desks are also disaster zones –paperclip explosion. They’re both kind of annoyed with each other about it, butreally they’re more annoyed with themselves about it. I think Isis catches onthe hypocrisy sooner than Seto, but they both learn quickly that attacking thestate of each other’s desk means attacking their own organisational failure so…

What their hidden artistic talents are and how appreciative the other is of these talents.

Isis encourages Seto’s singing A LOT. And Seto’s reallyembarrassed about it and secretly a little flattered.

What they consider each other’s most attractive quality and/or their favourite thing about the other.

Isis is so elegant. And it’s a perpetual mystery to Seto howIsis can manage people and be so in-charge while also not being a screamingbanshee. That Isis can get people to do what she wants while being so kind andcomposed is a crazy skill, and he doesn’t get it but he can get behind it. AndSeto’s belief in his own agency and self-worth and in his ability to be thechange he wants to see in the world and all that literally saved Isis fromdespair in canon. I don’t really think there’s anything about him that Isiscould possibly admire more given the amount of personal significance that heldfor her. Shit, I love this ship so much. This might be how you feel aboutrivalshipping. I want Isis and Seto to be friends so, so badly. He utterlysaved her, and I don’t think he even recognises or realises the inherent worthin himself for having grasped the life and the future she’d lost in his hands,and throwing it back to her. I want him to see and to know how precious andcomplete that gesture was – that he cannot be a failure so long as he’s savedsomebody. gdi, let them be friends!!!

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Malik/Ryou.

What they watch during movie dates and what kind of snacks they get from concessions.

Malik’s favourite films are probably big budget actionyfilms starring overpowered ‘badass’ 2kul4skul antiheros, who walk away from the explosion at the end of the filmand drive off into the sunset. And Ryou just thinks this is the dumbest shitever. Ryou canonically likes the spooky scaries oc but, while it’s not going toput Malik to sleep, Malik does kind of go between being creeped out by horrorfilms and rolling his eyes because so fake – listen, he’s seen some shit. Youcannot even approach the level of FEAR. I think they sit through the moviesthey don’t particularly like for each other, but their favourites to seetogether are documentaries, since that’s something they both enjoy.Documentaries about the natural world, documentaries about scientificinvestigations, documentaries about weird phases in human history and culture –and there must be some documentaries out there about the history of the occult.They each buy a variety of popcorn and soft drinks and candy, and they don’teven ask before reaching over and stealing snacks from the other or drinkingusing the other’s straw.

Which one gets in to a fight with the other’s parents.

Do we know if Ryou’s dad is alive anymore? I’m pretty surehe is, and I’m pretty sure Malik wants to kill him for being a neglectfulsonnuvabitch. Ryou would, of course, prefer Malik not, but it’s a littleflattering Malik feels so impassioned on his behalf. (I mean, even without thathuge strike against him, Malik would still probably fight with Ryou’s dad.Self-centred cultural imperialist. Also vastly different personal and ethicalstandards.) And Malik probably also feels he has a bone to pick with Amane andRyou’s mom too. He curses them out one day. ‘You know Ryou is still sad aboutlosing you guys! How dare you walk out on him like this! He has better thingsto do than worry all the time about your sorry asses!’ And Ryou’s like, ‘That’senough.’ Really upset as he drags Malik away from the gravesite. (But, still,he’s a tiny bit flattered. That he means more to somebody alive than his motherand sister do dead.)

What kind of street performance they’d put on to raise money if they were stranded somewhere.

I’m really completely blanking on this one. Ryou wouldprobably try a combination of tarot reading and asking people, really politely,if they could spare some change. But I think Malik’s probably the one thatpulls out some improbable genius skill and accurately interprets what somerandom passer-by needs and draws in success by putting in half the effort. Andthen Ryou’s like, ‘wow’ and claps for him. I just don’t know what thatimprobable genius skill is.

How they’d be as parents if they had-a-kid/someone-forced-a-kid-on-them.

Malik would just be… so terrible, lmao. Not only do I thinkhe’s completely uninterested in fatherhood, there is also nobody too importantto not fade into utter insignificance in the face of his episodes. Even if hewas an ever present factor in a child’s life, he’s totally a Disneyland dad.Let’s go out and do the fun thing, but then he gets bored after that’s over andit doesn’t matter if the kid is tired/hungry/needy now – whatever~ I’m actuallytrying to think of a situation where Malik would ever be stuck parentingsomebody alone with Ryou and… it’s not pretty. Malik himself is aware he’s notcut out for this. Isis and Rishid are both aware he’s not cut out for this. Theonly circumstance I can think of is something terrible happening to both Isisand Rishid and Malik’s taking care of his niece(s)/nephew(s) bc he’s not goingto have them go into foster care and… it’s just terrible. He’s terrible andneglectful, and he knows it, and he’s cries daily about it, but he just- can’t. Ryou would be picking up all ofthe slack really, bless him, but even he can’t really bridge the gap. Ryouwould be a patient and kind father, if a little lacking in sturdiness. He patsthe children’s heads softly and makes really simple breakfasts and packs warmlunches. He asks Malik and the kids to take shifts making dinner, and to lookafter getting themselves through their daily routines. He asks like it’s afavour to him and, for the most part, nobody wants to disappoint him, but he’sstill not sure what to do when he’s met with resistance – it’s hard for him tobe firm. It’s hard when the kids come to him for advice too. Ryou is spreadthin, and those kids are gonna have to parent themselves to a large extent…In less terrible situations though, Ryou and Rishid would probably beco-parenting if somehow Malik or Ryou got a hold of a child. Rishid is a littlebetter at at least pretending to be firm, haha. If he talks at all it’s obvioushe’s made of marshmallow, but he can make an intimidating look and wait insilence until the other party cracks. And between Ryou and Rishid there is moreenergy to look after kiddos properly and direct attention away fromfaildad!Malik.

Who would cause the most trouble during a camping trip and how.

Tbh, I think Ryou would have absolutely no concept of whatto do on a camping trip. He stares at the fire starter and the packed tent forabout an hour trying to figure out how they work and the mysteries haven’trevealed themselves, heh. Ryou was also unsure how to handle a deer approaching him, and that time hefumbled the can opener and spilled all the veges on the ground, oh dear. Malikhas to take over the practical realities of camping, which he’s not too excitedabout, but it ends up being okay because Ryou holds his hand and points out theconstellations at night and the world is as it should be.

What they would give each other as both a serious gift and a troll gift.

I don’t think they give gifts often but, when they do, Ithink they try to make it special and personal. Like Malik probably thinks up areally nice gift for when Ryou gets his degree – a commissioned piece ofartwork, or some old tome about Ryou’s field of study, and also a bottle ofnice scotch. And Ryou probably does the same when Malik manages someaccomplishment with work – gets him a nice leather bag, or a flashy new helmetfor his motorbike. For troll gifts, they might give each other silly decorativehair ties, and Malik gets weird earrings, and Ryou gets silly pop astrologybooks that piss him off because it’s not properastrology, and Malik doesn’t even believe in any of this shit in the firstplace.

Who moves in with them as an unfortunate third wheel roommate.

I mean, I’m pretty sure Rishid lives with them for a whileat least. But it’s more like Ryou is the weird third wheel interrupting Malik& Rishid’s bromance, heh.Actually, I think Rishid probably grew up under the assumption that he wouldnever be allowed to have a wife or kids bc he was basically intended to be aforever slave to Malik and Isis, but then Malik was like, ‘wtf, no. you canhave a family if you want. Fuck everything dad said.’ And Rishid got !!! really excited!!! Omg, he never dreamed!!! He’sreally happy about this!!!And that all sounded fine and dandy to Malik until Rishid actually met somebodyand he realised that either (1) Rishid would have to move out, or (2) Rishid’swife would have to move in. And Malik hates both of these ideas, it isliterally the worst. How dare you ruin mylife like this, Rishid, after all I’ve done for you… So, yeah, there’s agood possibility Rishid’s wife is the unfortunate forth wheel roommate, lol.Malik will get used to it.Also, Yuugi’s not really an unfortunate roommate to have at all, but I reallylike that collection of Millennium Roommate comics and am very pro-Yuugi-hanging-out-with-these-two,so that could be really cute~But also, it should be Jou too. Yes.

How they feel about handholding and sudden kisses in the ear-cheek vicinity.

Yes, definitely, on both accounts. But holding hands all thetime. They hold hands loosely and then curl their fingertips around each otherwhen they stray too far away.

Who’s always snapping photos and who’s pack-ratting clutter.

Ryou takes photos periodically, but not in any kind ofmethodological or constant way. Everyone’s always smiling in the photos bc Ryouwon’t take frowny ones or surprise ones  :-)And Ryou’s the pack rat. He buys a lot of crystals and gift items from thestationary shop. Textbooks and manuals. Half-used pens and pencils he picked upabsentmindedly here and there. Strange leaves and rocks he found out walking.Later he runs into certain things and wonders why he has them, but herationalises he must have kept it for a reason, and so it stays.

Who hogs the bathroom in the morning and who causes toothpaste related drama.

Malik takes forever in the bath, and forever getting readyin the morning. He’s a bit narcissistic and also gotta apply that kohl. Ryou onthe other hand showers quickly and throws on wrinkly clothes in five secondsand somehow every woman he’s ever met still falls over themselves around him.And Malik is totally a toothpaste drama queen. He gets angry and squeezes toomuch toothpaste out and then eviscerates the tube and throws it at the mirrorand is just in general as FRUSTRATE about the toothpaste as he can be aboutanything. Ryou doesn’t care though because if he made a deal out of everystupid outburst? And especially an outburst where all at stake was a tube oftoothpaste and a dirty mirror? Pls.

What their matching costumes were for that one party.

Sorry. I’m again getting too lazy to try and research the kinds of details I’d want. I feel like they’d dress up as a pair from some ancient culture’s mythology, but probably not Ancient Egyptian mythology so… I’m not sure what Ryou would like, heh.But for another party, they might go dressed up as each other. Or one dresses up as the other and they both try to trick people into thinking there are two Maliks or two Ryous. haha, this seems like a kind of concept that would appeal to Ryou again.

If I think they’d get married and why or why not.

I don’t know. I get the feeling either Ryou would be reallyfor it, or really against it – for a reason that’s more ideological than personal– and then Malik would be like ‘sure’ either way. Ryou has a whole speech abouthow marriage exists as a societal institution and why it is or isn’t importantfor them to get married as a gay couple and Malik’s like ‘sure’. ‘Sure.’

Who has over a thousand unread emails in their inbox or five hundred icons on their computer desktop and how the other reacts to this gross mismanagement.

Ryou’s the one that’s more attached to his computer, but Idon’t think he has more than a dozen desktop icons, or thirty or so unreademails. It’s very whatever. Malik has fewer emails, but he’s ignoring the onesfrom Isis’s work about how he needs to do this or that for the museum. Ryouscolds him about this.

What their hidden artistic talents are and how appreciative the other is of these talents.

Malik might be musically inclined. He knows how to play thequanun and guitar. Also, if it can be considered an art, Malik’s really good atdoing literary translation work. Ryou’s pretty impressed on both accounts. Hegets a little blown away by Malik’s casual genius.And Ryou’s pretty crafty. He might do carving or wood burning – he made all theMonster World figurines himself, yes? Malik likes looking over his shoulder andwatching the process. They both find it soothing.

What they consider each other’s most attractive quality and/or their favourite thing about the other.