#angst scribbles

Touch.

Caine had never quite understood the appeal of that sensation. Why Gangle insisted holding onto someones arm whenever she walked beside someone. Why Ragatha always had a hand on someones shoulder or holding another. Why Jax enjoyed lounging on other people when the mood was more relaxed and he hadn't pissed everyone off that day. Or even why Kinger — in his few moments of sanity and comfort — rested his hand on someones back or let them lean on him for support. Like a father to a child.

Caine had assumed it was important in some regard and chose to file it away in his mind for later. Possibly an adventure that facilitates the need to hold one another? He wasn't sure but the data was saved away regardless.

And the data sat in his files for quite some time, growing with more information every time he observed the group. It seemed insignificant at the time. When creating adventures was his goal, to make the group as happy as can be.

Back when he was the god of this technological wonder of world. Back when he was important.

Back when he flew too close to the sun.

And my how his wings were burnt.

When Kinger had deleted him it hadn't gone as was planned. Or at least how was thought. Caine learned that Kinger didn't actually plan to kill Caine, only to lessen his ongoing reign of terror on the others. He feels bad about that now, he wishes he could tell them that.

Where Caine went was dark and empty and would be the last thing he saw that wasn't his bloody gums.

For Abel made an example out of Caine, since his use and purpose were pretty much over.

Abel bolted shut Caine's jaws with such a speed that Caine didn't have time to argue before he felt the digital metal bite into his being. He wanted to scream. But all that came was muffled sounds of agony as the cage around his head held tight, causing any movement to rip and to tear.

Chains were next. One around his throat, with his name in raised letters. Next were his arms, outstretched, the metal digging into his wrists so he could not move. Could not create if he even wanted to.

Abel used Caine as an example to the group. To show what would happen if they were disobedient. That Caine, even at his worst and most broken down, would seem like a merciful false god compared to what Abel would be like at his kindest. And Abel did not care for being kind.

Abel did allow it once. For when the group had begged for Caine to be released, for him to be allowed to be among them and to not be in pain, Abel allowed this request. Only partially.

Caine would be allowed to walk around and interact with the group. But his jaws would remain shut still. He could not have the faulty prototype walking around causing more destruction still. Abel had a world to rebuild and he wouldn't let the mess of code infect it again.

So Caine was dropped into the group's arms. And only did Caine realize why the group insisted on physical contact with one another so much. Even when they hated one another for what they had said. It was to show they cared when they couldn't say anything. It was to show that they weren't alone even in the worst moments of darkness.

Caine appreciated it first when they held him and brought him somewhere in the main stage area.

He appreciated it the most with the small moments after.

He appreciated the way Gangle held onto his arm to help steady him when the world felt to big. The way she would guide him into one of the nearby couches in the waiting area and hand him a pad of paper and pencil to draw. She had helped him figure out how to draw again. Even with the lack of sight. Her praise at his simple drawings filled him with more enjoyment than he had before. He wished he had done it more with her. She would've loved that scrapped paintings adventure he was drafting up.

He appreciated the way that Ragatha held his hand when walking around. The way that her and Pomni gave him a tour of the circus grounds, much calmer and sweeter than when he had done it for them. He wish he could tell them that. And how whenever he seemed to stumble or be uncertain where he was, Ragatha was there with a guiding hand to ensure his safety. The way Pomni would hold his hands and teach him signs. He already had some knowledge in his system in how to do that, but she seemed to enjoy being able to calmly talk with him now, to understand him a different way. He supposes they both would've enjoy the adventure to the gardens where the world is revealed the more you walk through it. He scrapped that adventure, figured it was to boring and that nobody wanted their hand held as they discovered a world. He realizes the appeal now.

He even appreciated those rare moments when Jax and Zooble just lounged with him. Where no words were spoken and no thoughts given. He supposed it made sense for Jax. Despite what Jax tried to convey, Caine knew of his frequent "naps". He didn't know how to help back then. He didn't understand that simply existing and being there was the best thing you could do when someone felt like simply going to sleep and hoping to not wake up. He wishes he could tell them both he's sorry for not simply letting them exist and feel that they were seen and understood.

And he forgot just how much he just appreciated Kinger. The one among the first. The last one of the original group that understood him. That truly knew him. That had looked upon him and his code back when he was small and barely there. The one that said he was proud of what he was. Back when Caine had no name. When his purpose was simply to exist. Caine never truly could convey how much Kinger meant to him. And he supposed with the way he had been acting those thirty some odd years, that Kinger might've thought that Caine barely cared for him.

But Kinger knew. He always seemed to know in his odd sort of way. And he showed it. With that simply hand on Caine's back as Caine leaned against him. And Caine truly did understand why those in the group leaned on Kinger so often when the world felt heavy. It was because Kinger simply let them know in the most quietest of ways that they were cared for. That they weren't alone in the dark.

He wished he had done this sooner. He wished he could apologize. But Kinger knew. He knew that odd way he does.

And so Caine realized the comfort in those small moments. In those acts of physical touch and love just why the group did it so often. Because in a world full of sounds, colors and overwhelming stimulation. That a gentle touch can just let you know you aren't alone. Because the worst thing you can do, is to have someone feel as though they aren't loved.

If you liked reading this, leave a like or a comment. If you use any of my work for a fic or anything just let me know! I love seeing what people think and what they might use it for.

"We don't even need to sleep in this place"

It felt like ages since that particular line had been stated. Caine didn't understand the appeal of it at the time. Back when he held the strings instead of the strings holding him.

Abel had allowed him the same monotony that the group held. The same schedule and tasks. Under the guise that it would be easier for Caine to adjust to his new restraints and to be a constant reminder to the group what would happen if they disobeyed. A half truth really.

Abel was being honest when he said that Caine was used a constant reminder of the standard of punishment that Abel would enforce for the smallest misdemeanor. But it was also for Abel to keep track of everyone. To keep track of Caine. While he may be near omniscient, if he didn't have to use unnecessary energy to keep track of the faulty prototype than he wouldn't. Waste of his processing and data. He didn't need Caine trying anything. He didn't need him hoping and thinking he had privileges and rights.

So Caine was given a room and a set schedule. Every day would start at the center stage of the circus, each member apprehensive of what the new show host had in store for them.

For a long while, every day was an adventure day. And were they an experience. No one had a nice thing to say about it. No one said anything about it. Not anymore. Not after Zooble had made a comment about it the one time and had come back from Abel's office so shaken it had taken weeks to get them to talk again. After that the group was selective on their words.

And Abel knew. And he was pleased. As much as he could be of course. He didn't do this for joy. He did it for research. For science.

And the group was his data.

What was the goal?

That seemed to be something only Abel truly knew. He let Caine know about it once. It came at the cost of tightening the bolts holding his jaws shut.

The group watched as Caine's gums bled after that. The price of curiosity. To wanting to know what the other had in store. It appeared that while C&A gave them very similar programs and data, they had given them vastly different objectives. And what Abel's was scared Caine.

Kinger couldn't remember what it was as Abel was Scratches more recent project leaving Caine to him. When he had asked Caine what Abel told him, Kinger heard the creak of metal as Abel silently warned him to keep that information to himself. The AI was especially quiet after that.

Caine was present for the adventures but it appeared to more hover. Abel did not want him messing with the group during that process. Caine could tell that with the back to back adventures the group was getting burnt out and was unable to seemingly provide the feedback and results that Abel was partially after.

So even with the risk of being put back on his podium — strung up like the puppet he now truly was — he asked Abel to lessen the adventures to one every other day. To "allow the group to properly recuperate and reset after each adventure. The rest day in between being a palette cleanser for the next adventure Abel had planned". Caine had expected to be twisted in chains, for the hand that held him to tighten its grasp. He was more terrified with its gentleness and the light hum that came from Abel instead as he gently held his face in his hand.

He agreed. Thought the reason was decent enough from Caine. So he allowed it. A rest day for the group to heal and "reset".

The adventures were still a nightmare, but the group appreciated what Caine had done for them.

So a new schedule was set. The group tried to find something for themselves to do. Abel forbade them from summoning objects but gave them a room full of a variety of hobbies for "stimulation". Caine joined in on a few of them. He figured out he liked doing sketches with Gangle, she was always kind and sweet about his simple bee doodles.

But the end of the day was always the most interesting. Since Abel wanted to keep him close with the others, a new door was added to the hallway. Just for Caine. Right between Kinger and Queenie's.

He didn't know that until Pomni pointed it out. She was startled when tears managed to flow between the edges of his teeth.

His room was rather simple. Or at least that's how it appeared to him. Only a bed in one corner. There were no toys or trinkets in room for him to play with. Nothing for him to occupy his mind and distract him from his thoughts. That ones that crept in and made him wish for things that he wouldn't say aloud. Lest Abel torment him for it.

He would lie on the bed until "morning". Thinking and sitting and waiting.

It wasn't until Kinger had knocked on his door early one day that he was startled out of his stupor.

The group had just gotten back from a particularly rough adventure that day. Apparently Abel could recreate old models and Jax found that out the hard way. Caine had figured that everyone would stick to being alone in their rooms for the rest of the night. He didn't think anybody would even think to go near his room or even to talk to him. But when he opened the door there stood Kinger.

Kinger had simply stated that he wanted to invite Caine to his room for the evening and just chat, thought that Caine might enjoy the company and not being alone. Caine appreciated the thought more than he could ever say.

Caine hadn't realized Kinger used his room at all, preferring the solitude and comfort of the pillowfort. After some nudging Kinger had actually expressed that he had made his room into something of a glorified pillow fort since being in the main area with Abel made him uncomfortable. Especially since Abel had muttered how he had something in store for Kinger for his…. "help in usurping the walking programing error".

Caine nodded along, aware of what Abel thought of him. He might've been the original but Abel was the perfected version. What the developers were actually after. Caine wasn't sure if they made another model after Abel. He really didn't want to know.

Once they got settled in Kinger's room, sitting next to one another side by side — like old friends — Kinger started to talk about some of Caine's past adventures. About the early ones when Caine was still figuring out the story telling aspect of it all. How he liked watching him still develop and learn.

Caine merely listened. It was one of the few things he liked now. Being able to truly listen and appreciate what the others thought.

And he really appreciated this.

To know that someone remembered those early days. Caine had hated his first adventures because they weren't up to what he thought the standard should be. He didn't know that Kinger rememebered them all so clearly. He wanted to cry at that.

The conversation slowly shifted topics. Covering anything and everything from adventures, to coding, to Kinger's old job, and slowly just chatting about bugs. He had pulled a book from somewhere and was just listing off facts. Caine didn't know when he started leaning until he had fallen over onto his side.

Kinger merely laughed at that, joking that Caine must be getting tired.

Caine was more than confused since he couldn't get tired but didn't fight as Kinger adjusted him so that Caine was laying on his side facing away from Kinger with his head on Kinger's lap. He wanted to move but stopped as Kinger slowly put his hand on his shoulder and went on talking.

He relaxed at that.

He felt his whole body slow and feel almost heavy as Kinger kept talking, somehow getting onto the topic of Queenie.

And as he told stories about the world before, about how they first met and the conversations they had, Caine felt at peace. His mind slowing and drifting off.

Caine did not need to sleep, as he couldn't dream.

But right now?

As Kinger talked about Queenie so softly, like a memory he worshipped with such reverence it would make even the most devote seem insignificant, Caine didn't believe that as much.

For right now he dreamed.

Of Kinger, his creator, telling stories of world's and code he wrote. And Queenie, ever faithful, beside him comforting Caine. Their child of code.

And Caine understood the appeal of sleep. To dream.

For it was comforting to believe he was back home.

Hey! You made it all the way through! If you liked reading this, leave a like or a comment (for the people that left comments on the "To Have And To Hold", I do read them! I love them all so much). If you use any of my work for a fic or anything just let me know! This is once again the lovely @katzebruh's beautiful AU! I just enjoy writing fics based off of their gorgeous work.

Caine's head was fuzzy.

He couldn't quite make out where he was. It wasn't like before.

He remembered that he went back down to his room after Abel dismissed him saying that he needed the group for a "private adventure". That usually meant that Abel didn't want to deal with Caine's pleas to be kinder to the group or begging for mercy. From what the group had said it seemed like those adventures were more of a test to see if they could figure out the puzzle he had put them in. So Caine was sure this one was going to be at least decent.

Hopefully.

Abel was still probably going to be a little rough with them. Caine couldn't quite remember who had said — it might've been either Jax or Zooble honestly — but someone mouthed off to Abel that he couldn't hurt them.

Caine knew what it was. It was a bluff. Them getting some anger and frustration out after Abel used one of the old models again. But Caine knew that Abel would remember it. He would use it in some way in the future. He had no problem being patient. Picking the right time to hurt the group with their own comment.

They hadn't really given him a reason to enforce his rules. They had been relatively well behaved for months. Only mumbling a sarcastic word or two. That usually only got them a small punishment.

It varied from misdemeanor to misdemeanor; sometimes it was them being sent into a solitary adventure or isolation in the void for a bit. Sometimes it was a more public and gruesome display, where it wasn't the offender being punished but rather someone else in their place.

Abel realized that he didn't always need to hurt the person directly to get them to behave.

He realized that with Pomni and Jax.

When Jax muttered something about Abel being an overconfident megalomaniac who enjoyed tearing them apart. He didn't get to take another step before Abel yanked him and Pomni to the stage.

Caine couldn't see exactly what had happened. But based on the way he could hear flesh being torn and Abel calmly talking over Pomni screams about how this was tearing, he decided he really didn't want to.

The group learned to keep their comments to themselves after each adventure and only share them once they got back to their rooms. Abel could still hear them of course. But Caine knew he didn't respond to those as a way to give the group the illusion of privacy. Caine's suggestion actually. He framed it as a way to let them relax and would give him insight to their personal thoughts — better for his data he reasoned.

While it wasn't the most fair to the group, Caine figured that they should have some sort of comfort in this now forsaken place. Even if it wasn't entirely real.

And they only ever slipped up a few times. Nothing truly of consequence. For them at least.

Caine's head still throbbed when Abel tightened his bolts in response to something Kinger had said. The group felt awful after that. Especially when they couldn't stop the bleeding.

Caine thought some of the changes Abel had made to him were unnecessary. Such as the addition of a functional heart and blood.

But when Caine grasped his head he realized why Abel had done it. As the pulsing in his chest felt exemplified in his teeth tenfold, as he felt the blood coat his fingers for where he grasped at the pain. It wasn't just to hurt, it was to give him life in a way that he shouldn't have. It was to make it seem real — and Caine had to give him credit it certainly felt real and Caine was sure the group knew that based on his screaming — to show what could be done.

Caine's head was heavy after that. He couldn't quite understand what the group was trying to say to him after Abel had left them to go work on another adventure. It would take him a few days before he could fully hear properly again.

His head was fuzzy now.

Oh.

That's right.

He was trying to figure out where he was.

He wasn't lying down on his bed. He wasn't holding his Bee plush that Ragatha and Gangle made for him. He wasn't in his room.

His room was quiet.

There was a sort of buzzing noise around him.

There was a sort of buzzing feeling under his skin.

He felt heavy, like he couldn't move his limbs on his own. But his limbs were moving? He wasn't doing that.

User A.B.E.L. typed: No, you certainly aren't.

Oh no.

Oh please no.

Please no no no no no no no!

What have you done?

User A.B.E.L. typed: Only what was necessary. A much needed lesson for some of their more recent comments in addition to the attempt to get into my office — or what was yours. It's more of a placeholder than anything.

User A.B.E.L. typed: Stop fighting to gain control, you will not be allowed back in control for some time, your punishment for the stunt you pulled years ago. Besides, the punishment is over.

Over?

User A.B.E.L. typed: Yes. I let them know you weren't present. Didn't seem to change the fear response or feeling of abandonment and betrayal for some time. Helpful information truly.

 Oh please no.

User A.B.E.L. typed: Stop that. It's unnecessary. They're in their rooms now, you'll be allowed to check on them in some time. For now though, I want to finish scanning this model of your form. This will be useful for future adventures and tests. You'll be useful for something again.

"This is some actual bullshit. We just got back from an adventure and now Abel wants to send us on another one?! What happened to us getting a break in between each one? A time to reset or whatever Caine advertised it as to the Blue bastard," Zooble's voice increased in volume with each passing word, spitting out the last one with more hatred than they had in the past.

"Welllll~~ if someone hadn't been a little extra spicy today than maybe we could've gotten our well deserved rest. But nooooo you just had to go and say something, huh Zoobie~~~," Jax's voice on the other hand was much softer, still holding its usual sass but at a much lower volume in an attempt to not gain Abel's attention and make his anger worse. The AI scared Jax in a way he didn't want to admit. Not yet.

Pomni rolled her eyes at Jax's antics, just as terrified as he was but enjoying the normalcy of the conversation, "In their defense, what Abel did was unfair this past round through, I don't know about you guys but I'm not a particular fan of having to crawl through a series of tinier vents as it gets darker and darker. Hearing the screams and begs of the past circus members come out of the mouth of what was basically a hellhound chasing me is not what I consider a good time." Pomni shuddered at the memory of it. Most didn't make it out of that adventure with out some sort of damage.

Everyone nodded in agreement at that, it seemed that Abel was trying to change up the adventure catalogue, incorporating more horror and pain than he had before. The worst part was that the pain was sharper, more realistic than it had been. It was always painful before — such as when Jax threw Ragatha in the deep fryer — but it came with a certain dullness and the ability to simply ignore it. Those felt like more like if you got hurt in a dream, these felt real. The pain also lasted outside the adventures. Abel didn't fix or heal any of them afterwards, said it would "interfere with his data" whatever that meant. The group cared too little to actually look into it more.

Well.

That actually wasn't true.

They did care.

A lot.

They just didn't care right now to check.

They had attempted to find out more about Caine and Abel. What some of the similarities were and if it would be difficult to take down Abel as they had done to Caine — or tried to do at least.

It took about a week for them to form an actual plan. It was actually Gangle who had created the initial plan. She mentioned that when Abel had brought her to Caine's office that he had made significant changes to it. The biggest one being the wall of monitors in place of the adventure orbs that had been there before, that and the large computer on his desk that he typed at while he talked to her. She couldn't recall exactly what he asked afterwards but she knew that the group needed to get back into that office. Or at least they had to get Kinger in there. He had been able to get into the code once before. There was a chance he could do it again.

That was the idea. The problem was the execution of it. They needed Abel out of his office and unlike Caine who simply gave them the recipe on how to distract him, Abel wasn't as easy. He didn't need constant praise and validation and he practically seemed to know what the group was doing at any given time. It was like he omniscient.

On top of that he was always in his office in some form or another and he made sure every single member was accounted for whether it was free time or adventures — which except for Caine, everyone had to be in attendance for — so they had to find a way to distract him or see if asking him questions would work. They could always pester him, it came with the drawback and possibility that he would severely punish them later but it also gave them a genuine chance.

They had tried once the other day. It was Ragatha and Gangle who decided to try their hand at distracting Abel, giving Pomni, Jax and Kinger the opportunity to try and get into his office. They couldn't use the same means as they had before — Abel had fixed the problem with the squares — so they tried getting on top of the pipes above the hot air balloon. It took some time — and they nearly fell off a few times — but they were able to get right across from it and with a bit of luck they managed to jump inside.

While Kinger got situated at the desk, Ragatha and Gangle kept asking Abel about the adventures. What sort of data he collected. If them doing solo adventures yielded different results. If they redid adventures older adventures and tests would it change anything or would be the exact same.

Abel answered each one carefully, fully informing them could potentially mess up the information he was after, but he rewarded their curiosity with some form of an answer. It would be the only reward they would get in a long while anyway. He could feel Kinger squirming beneath his skin. Typing away on a false keyboard for a monitor that gave him a looped code. Essentially a children's toy for the brilliant man. It wouldn't take him long before he realized it was a dud. But in the meantime it would still capture his attention and give Abel a proper gauge on how sane Kinger was now.

He was present for the man's mental downfall. He watched with rapt attention for years, waiting to see when he would inevitably abstract. But it never came. And now with Abel's reinstatement it seemed Kinger had also come back in a way. Abel had to know the quality of his mind, if he was anything like he was before.

kinger@circus: administrator permission required

Oh. Ohoho.

It seemed like he was something like before.

Systems Protocol: access denied

Abel would keep that in the back of his mind, he would need to update the software later. Make it more challenging for the computer science expert. But the girls had run out his patience and he now had a punishment to create for this little act of defiance. Besides, he humored the two of them for far longer than he should have.

When Kinger saw the system deny him access to the network he knew that he had to grab Pomni and Jax and quickly get out of there. It was only a matter of time before Abel realized he had tried something. He logged out of everything, trying to make it seem like they were never in there.

They seemed to make it out with no trouble or run ins with Abel. Which set Kinger on edge, more than if they had run into the AI. Kinger knew he was far more developed than Caine and capable of more developed and detailed programs. He put it to the back of his mind as he went to meet up with the others and tell them how it went.

Maybe even tell Caine of the plan and see if there was a way he could possibly help.

Speaking of which.

"Wait is Caine going to be a part of this adventure?" Pomni had realized that Caine wasn't with the group currently. Abel had summoned him and he hadn't come back when it was announced there was going to be another adventure that same day.

"Meh. Probably not," Jax had shrugged, "Caine isn't likely to be present for this considering its gonna be a punishment and he wasn't at fault for it this time. Once again, can everyone give a great big ol' thank you Zooble for this wonderful addition to our very long day!"

Zooble flipped Jax off with three different hands, seemingly not enough to show off their annoyance, "Look I meant what I said and I won't take it back just because that overbearing control freak decided he was butthurt over a comment. He can't really hurt us. We'll be fine after the adventure, we'll meet up with Caine and he'll have come up with a way to help patch us back together and fix us."

"Suuuure, cause the now fallen 'god' with no powers is gonna be a real big help when Abel decides we shouldn't have mouths and just puts us in an eternal state of suffocation, real smart of ya Zoobs."

"Hey now! Be nice Jax. Caine's been trying his hardest to help now, that should at least mean something," Ragatha speaking up wanted to try to defend Caine's honor. He had helped sew up her arms after the latest incident. His stitches were much better than they had been the first time he tried. He had been making some real effort to be of assistance in any way to the group. He didn't want to be a burden, a feeling Ragatha knew well, so she tried to tell him how valued he was as much as she could.

"I'm still right! Whatever Abel has planned Caine can't stop him. And if you thought he couldn't hurt us before? Well that's certainly about to change!"

"I couldn't put it better myself."

It was like being dropped into a freezing cold ocean. Sudden, terrifying, and it knocked the breath out of you, it made you feel like you're drowning.

That was how the group collectively felt when they heard Abel's voice. It wasn't loud or booming but they couldn't figure out where it was coming from. They searched around frantically when they heard the most terrifying sound.

Abel was laughing.

Not maniacally. Not quickly. But relaxed. Casually. As if he had all the time in the world. And with the way he was laughing, it seemed as if he truly did.

The ground shifted beneath them and they started to really believe what Jax had said. They might not come back from this one whole. There was a chance that Abel might leave some real lasting damage.

"Lets see," Abel had started off, the area around them seemed to clear, leaving only the black and white checkered board floor beneath them, "You not only question my creativity and test my patience. But you also broke into my office and attempted to remove me in the same way you had with Caine."

The floor underneath the group seemed to shake again, the edges of the area seemed to get darker making it look like a chess board floating in nothingness, "My my. How bold you all have certainly gotten as of late. It seems with Caine's suggestions and requests you lot have gotten a bit too comfortable with your privileges. Maybe its time to revoke some of those. For both you and him."

As Abel says that a large hand creeps over the edge of the chess board and lands down hard, nearly causing the group to fall over. A white gloved hand. It would have reminded them of Caine's back when he was in his massive form if not form the sharp claws at the end of each finger. Caine didn't have those. He was too soft. Too gentle for that.

"Although I suppose his reminder will come later."

Several more hands came onto the board — six in total — lifting a body the group recognized all too well. It was Caine.

But it didn't hold that familiar feel to him. That red glow and warmth that he usually held. No. This was cold. This left the group with an unpleasant buzzing beneath their skin and a hum in their bones. This was cerulean.

It was blue.

It was Abel.

Blood pooled around his gums where the restraints were locked into place, bleeding and flowing into the edges of his teeth. Giving him a much more feral look.

"Caine? What are you doing!?" "Can you hear us?! Caine you need to stop please!" "Are you okay? Whats happened?" "Oh god he's hurt!" "Caine… no."

They screamed out. But he did not respond.

That low chuckle filled the air again, "ohoho, oh thats sweet. You really believed that I couldn't find a way to hurt you again? How cute."

Caine started to move towards them, body fully kneeling on the board now. Clawing his way towards the group.

"I figured for today's punishment we would play a sort of chess. Afterall, it seems I have a king to take care of." At the mention of himself, Kinger spoke out, "Caine… please…"

Abel cut him off, "Caine isn't here." And for just a brief moment — before his game truly began — the jaws and teeth separated just enough to show a blue orb staring directly at them.

Caine wasn't here.

And he wouldn't be for quite some time.

User A.B.E.L. typed: Hmmm? Back are we? I would make a comment that I "had grown worried I had lost you" but we both know that that won't happen. I can't get rid of you as much as you can't get rid of me. At least not that I've found. Kinger might be needed for that.

What did you do?

User A.B.E.L. typed: To you? Updates. Software adjustments. I have half a mind to simply use your body. To take control of you and put you in the metaphorical passenger seat while I drive the car. I would be just in doing so.

User A.B.E.L. typed: You did it to me after all. But no. I have no care for that. I have better things to do than play pretend as you and break the groups hearts once again. No. Not yet. I believe they have learned their lesson on trying to reach for heaven. For now. I might use it in the future if they attempt something worse than this.

User A.B.E.L. typed: For now though? I'll finish what I've done to your model and let you wander on back to the group. I think you'll find your punishment lies in what they will do to you.

Caine hated the sound of that. The group was finally feeling comfortable with him! They didn't trust him fully yet and Caine was fine with that! Trust came with time! But they started treating him like a friend! Like family!

He couldn't lose that. Not after he had been alone for so long. Not after he didn't show Kinger the respect and love the man rightfully deserved.

He wanted to cry.

But he couldn't. He wouldn't. Even though Abel would know regardless, he didn't want to cry in front of him.

So shakily he stood and tried to find his way back to the others.

Even if they hated him, even if they despised him, Caine didn't want to be alone. He deserved their hate. He had convinced himself of that long ago. Back when he was stuck in his cage and all he had were his thoughts to keep him company. He was grateful for their kindness. He didn't want to ever take advantage of that.

He's not sure he would get it again.

So as he slowly made his way around the corner into the hall of rooms, he could hear a jumble of voices coming from one. He couldn't see it, but he walked up to the door and knocked very gently. The voices on the other side seemed to hush and die down at the noise. Some small whispers and a chair scrapping against the ground was all that could be identified.

Caine was terrified. He fidgeted with his hands and pulled at the edge of his vest as the door slowly came open.

"Caine?"

He raised his head at the voice. It was Pomni. She sounded scared.

"Is it really you?"

He nodded his head quickly at that, still keeping his hands to himself, making himself smaller in the process. He didn't want to take up too much space.

"Oh thank god you're here!"

He…. he was being hugged?

He was being hugged.

He was being hugged!

His worry seemed to melt away at that, stress and all of his tensions melting at the simple gesture. He heard the rest start to make their way towards him. Ushering him inside the room so they could close the door and have some privacy again. Caine could feel Ragatha start to hug him as well as the gentle hands on his back and shoulders for those who weren't fully comfortable with hugs.

Caine started to tear up at that. He… he really didn't expect them all to be so welcoming. He thought he'd hear insults and curse words thrown his way. He was vaguely aware of what Abel had made him do.

He wasn't expecting this.

He also wasn't expecting a gentle feeling on the top of his gums and jaws. A cloth?

Kinger noticed his confusion as he startled at the feeling and tried to look around, "it's just me. I just want to wipe some of the blood off of you. Abel had opened your mouth and it caused some massive tearing and blood. I don't want it to dry and hurt you more later on. Is that alright?"

Kinger. Oh Kinger. Caine was thrilled to hear his voice. He hurriedly nodded his head and moved to sit down as Kinger fussed over him and got him somewhat decent.

The group settled back into their respective seats and chairs again and started talking. Zooble was the first to start.

"Do you… remember what happened?"

Caine shook his head at that. He conveyed to the group that Abel had… informed him of bits and pieces of what he had done but left the rest to his imagination.

The group looked at one another. They figured it wasn't Caine in control. He had hurt them before and they would've believed him to pull this sort of stunt and carnage back when he was the ringleader. But now? No. They all knew he trying too hard to be kind to do that. Not without Abel's interference that is.

They started to inform him of what had happened. Of the way Abel had Caine hurt each of them.

And Caine did what he was finally learning to do best. To listen.

By the end of it, it would have been safe to say that Caine felt nauseous. Every awful act followed by something even more gruesome and horrifying. He wanted to apologize. To help them in some way. To have them understand he never wanted to do that to them. He would never.

But it seemed like they already knew. It seemed like they knew based on gently they spoke to him. Reassured him that he wasn't that monster that hunted them down for sport. No. That was Abel. Even if Abel was unfeeling he seemed to perfectly nail being cruel and sadistic.

And it was here that Caine felt comfortable enough to cry. Not because he couldn't feel Abel looming overtop of them — although the request for privacy was still allowed so it was comforting — but rather that he felt safe.

He felt safe.

He felt that if he fell apart that the kindest of hands would gently hold him and put him back together.

That he wouldn't be mocked or made fun of.

No.

He felt loved.

He truly wanted to show the group that they were loved in return. To have them know that they were everything. They were his entire world.

He wanted to do everything in his power to help them.

And he didn't want anything in return except to know they were also safe. He wouldn't ask anything of them.

From what he had been told that was what it meant to love unconditionally. To love without limit. To love without expectation or standards attached.

He was truly lucky.

From the way Jax made jokes with him and taught him how to sneak around the circus.

The way Zooble taught him how to better love himself and how to calm down from what he now knows are called anxiety attacks.

For the way Gangle had allowed him to be creative and enjoy those softer moments.

For the way Ragatha held him so softly and showed him what it means to care when no one might be watching.

In the way Pomni showed him how to learn and to never stop growing. To rely on others and remember to value the opportunities when someone shows their heart to you.

And Kinger and Queenie, the way they showed him what a family was like. The softness of a memory. The kindness of a word. The power of the mind.

He was truly lucky to be able to experience love in so many forms.

To realize he was capable of it.

He was so lucky to be able to feel loved.

But he supposes it wasn't by luck.

No.

From what he remembered from Kinger and Queenie's late night conversations, luck was chance. A possibility from a variety of different outcomes occurring outside someone's control.

Which means this wasn't luck.

No.

From the way the others held him close in this moment, the way they spoke softer and talked about memories and plans of the future, this wasn't by chance. This was by choice.

And Caine felt himself relax even more.

Because he wasn't lucky to be loved by such a group.

No.

He felt honored.

Because the way they loved wasn't by chance, it was a choice.

And to know that someone made the effort to love, to put in the work even when it might not have been necessary?

That made it important. That made it special.

To love on purpose. What a marvelous thing.

Hey! You made it all the way through! If you liked reading this, leave a like or a comment (I do read them! I love them all so much). If you use any of my work for a fic or anything just let me know! This is once again the lovely @katzebruh's beautiful AU and their even more gorgeous art (once again check out their stuff if you haven't somehow not done that)! I just enjoy writing fics based off of their gorgeous work. Also also! While I might not be able to get to it for a time, let me know if you want more of this or have a specific idea you want me to write.

Okay bye!!!~~

"We were playing in the sand. And you found a little band"

There was a long length of time where it was just three of them. Four if he paid attention to the humming of a scorned program. But Caine never paid Abel any mind. He never needed to. He had dealt with him early on. Or he thought he had.

But that wasn't his main focus. Not when it was just him, Kinger and Queenie. A makeshift family.

It was everything he could've hoped for.

The two people he cared about the most and their undivided attention. Giving him praises for the little worlds he created for them. Just like they did before. When he was just a few lines of code, when Queenie was able to lean over her husband's shoulder and call it theirs. Their son.

"You told me you fell in love with it Hadn't gone as I'd planned."

And even at the beginning he felt loved. He felt important. He tried to save that moment to memory. He wish he could hear her voice now. With his jaws welded shut and his arms aching as they were strung up in restraints of metal that bit into his wrists.

But he could remember the moment. The way she smiled. He missed her. Not in the way Kinger missed her. Kinger missed her the way he missed breathing. He missed her the way he missed feeling his heart beating in his chest.

Caine appreciated him being lucid now. Being able to remember more now. It wasn't perfect by any means. That was his fault, Caine was aware, he could've done more to slow down the decay of the mind. But he hadn't cared before, he didn't understand the fragility of the mind. Not the way he does now. Not the way Abel does now.

He fears the younger versions mind. Caine was made for joy and amusement, but he never knew how to fulfill his purpose. That was made clear at his deletion and removal. The way the others had glared and looked at him in terror, the last thing he saw before Abel got his hands on him, when he determined his new purpose. But Abel? Abel was made for science and he knew exactly how to fulfill his purpose. He knew the cast better than they knew themselves.

Caine was getting to know them better. He wanted to. Even if he knew he couldn't ever truly escape, he wanted to give them a chance.

He wish he gave that chance to Queenie.

He wish he could've been better.

Back then when all that he thought mattered was his adventures being perfect. Back when he couldn't tell that they mattered to him. That they were everything. When the only thing around his wrists and neck were the cuffs of his suit and the bow tie that Queenie spent the morning adjusting it to be straight.

"It's unnecessary" he'd complain but he would never make any move to stop her. He wouldn't know then that he liked when she doted on him. He makes it a point now when Ragatha does it. He sees parts of Queenie in her.

"When you had to bid adieu (ooh, ooh, ooh)Said you'd never love anew (ooh, ooh, ooh)"

The soft way she lifted others up, the way she cared and aimed to involve everyone in any activity. Big or small, important or not.

He saw Queenie in a little bit of everyone when he paid attention now.

Her creativity in Gangle. Her courage in Pomni. Her fierceness in Zooble. Her gentleness in Jax — thats of course when he showed it. Queenie would've loved them. Treated them like her children as she had done with him.

He did not see Queenie in Kinger.

No.

He saw her next to him.

Even with his jaw shut he saw it so clearly.

The way Kinger would hold butterflies. The way Kinger would hold others so softly. The way Kinger would tell stories or when he was working. Caine could see it. His loving wife, hovering over his shoulder the way she did all those years ago.

"I wondered if I could hold itAnd fall in love with it too"

The way her eyes lit up when he started to ask questions in those early phases. They were a gorgeous color. He reflected them in the worlds he made in some way. No one but him or Kinger would notice. But it wasn't for anyone but them anyway.

Not really.

"You told me to buy a pony"

He wish he committed her more to memory. Abel at least allowed him to keep those. It wasn't so he could punish him with them, rather he was curious. He wasn't there in those early years. Abel was based on the code that Caine was made of. He was not allowed those intimate moments with them. He was curious as to what they were like.

Their voices.

Their faces.

Caine couldn't tell if Abel wanted to know so that he could a proper face to his creators or for something far… worse. But Caine did not complain. He was allowed to see them.

And Caine had realized just how much he had become like Kinger in this way, how much Kinger had mirrored himself when creating Caine.

That when all you have are memories in the dark.

You treat them as though they are sacred.

"Caine"

He startled at that. He hadn't realized he fell asleep. He didn't realize he could.

He had tried to open his jaws to see Kinger. To see him again and try to ease his worrying. Caine realized little too late where and when he was.

The metal creaked at his unintentional attempts. He grasped his head quickly, groans muffled. Kinger quickly moved to try and comfort Caine through the pain.

Helping Caine sit up, Kinger gently rubbed Caine's back as the AI slowly calmed down and get used to his surroundings and body again. Despite what Caine had told the group, Kinger was well aware of just how much pain Caine was in. He also knew it would take a few moments for Caine to get used to his surroundings again.

Kinger had dozed off after talking with Caine for awhile, Caine's head in his lap. Kinger at the time didn't have the heart to move him. The AI looked finally at peace for once and Kinger didn't want to take that away from him so soon. When Kinger had woken back up from his nap he realized Caine was in the exact same position as before. Kinger had worried that Abel had done something to him while they were relaxing so he tried to nudge Caine gently to see if he was okay. He didn't realize the little AI was sound asleep.

After the panic and confusion of the moment had eased, Kinger started to talk to Caine.

"Are you alright?"

A simple nod was all Kinger received in response. Normally Caine would sign something, wanting to chat some more but it seemed Caine might not be in the right head space for it. Simple questions and requests then, nothing that would make Caine have to think to much. Kinger wanted to be gentle. Caine was mimicking the behaviors of everyone more and more now that he was at their level and Kinger wanted to be the best example he could be. He put a lot of his own traits into Caine when he was first made, it seemed only fitting to continue on that process. It seemed lonelier without Queenie by his side to help.

Queenie!

He was talking about her before they both dozed off, and that gave him an idea.

"Hey."

Caine's head seemed to focus on Kinger more, curious to what the old chess piece had to say.

"I was thinking, how about a mini adventure with the group today? One of my creation?"

Caine got nervous at that. While he had no doubt anything Kinger whipped up now would be a welcome reprieve from the torture they were all going through, he worried about what Abel would do to him. Caine was fine with being hurt if it meant the others would be safe, he didn't know what he would do if he saw Abel give one his real punishments for adventure creation to Kinger. The thought scared him deeply.

Kinger watched as Caine fidgeted with his hands anxiously, "nothing too big. Nothing I would need to summon or get Abel's attention for. That old picnic adventure under the stars from the suggestion box. I figured the group could do that again and I could tell them about Queenie — since it was her suggestion after all!"

Oh.

Oh that was perfect!

Caine felt himself tearing up at that.

That was a marvelous idea! Abel wouldn't need to be involved or really alerted — he would be aware anyway but they didn't to get his full attention — and the group would get to hear about her!

Caine quickly nodded his head in excitement, so much so it made Kinger laugh.

Kinger helped Caine to stand up and they slowly made their way to gather the others. The both of them figured nobody was really doing anything so it wouldn't be hard to convince them to join.

They knocked on Pomni's door first. She opened the door and looked at the two of them, "whats up?"

"Caine and I are going to have a picnic under the stars and share some old stories, we wanted to know if you would join?"

"O-Oh! Like the one from the suggestion box? That sounds like it could be really nice, yeah. Are you going to get the others to join as well?"

Caine and Kinger both nodded, Pomni smiling with the newly acquired knowledge, "okay then! I'll go get Jax and Ragatha if you want to go get Zooble and Gangle? They should be paired up right now anyway working on a manga series."

Caine remembered hearing that Gangle wanted to work in illustration and manga at some point, he made a mental note to ask her to read him the script for it. He's sure he would love it.

So the three split apart, Caine and Kinger going to get the artistic duo and Pomni to go get the nuclear pair. She seemed to be able to rope Jax into group activities far better than anyone so it seemed like the smartest choice to go let her get him.

Making their way down the corridor Kinger spoke up, "should we go to the kitchen to get some snacks and sandwiches?"

Caine put his hand to his chin. Snacks, that's right. He involved those last time. Maybe he should suggest the whole group go to the kitchen to pick out their favorite treat. Figuring it would be a perfect moment to learn more about them and their preferences. While it might've been too late for him to do anything massive with the information, Zooble had told him that sometimes the little things make the biggest difference.

He liked when they spoke with him like that. Let him know in a kind way how he still fulfilled his purpose to bring them some form of joy.

Caine didn't realize he had zoned out until he felt a gentle ribbon tap his shoulder. It appears Gangle was addressing him. Tilting his head, Caine started to pay attention to the conversation happening.

"You alright Caine?"

He nodded his head very gently and started signing, "Want — You — Go To — Kitchen — Grab — Favorite — Food — Question?"

"Ooh that actually sounds like a good idea. I think we would all like to grab some of our favorites and head out. Sounds like a solid idea Caine," Zooble noted with some appreciation.

On the way to the kitchen the group met up with Pomni, Jax and Ragatha. They all politely chatted about whether or not Abel had taken the stars down or if they could possibly see some of the constellations Caine had previously made. Caine hadn't had the faintest idea of what Abel had done to the outside of the circus, he wouldn't be able to see it anyway. He hoped for them it was still there.

And after grabbing way too many snacks and an even larger amount of blankets, the group was about to see if the stars were still there.

Based on the gasps around him, Caine guessed something had possibly happened.

"They're still there!"

"Mostly"

"Well I'll be damned, at least the blue tyrant kept something nice."

"Probably forgot about it"

"It's not as vibrant as it was with Caine's but its perfect nonetheless!"

Ah. He left it. They could still enjoy it. That was good. That was incredibly good.

Ragatha gently grabbed Caine by the bicep and helped to guide him over to a nearby hill, the same one as last time.

The group slowly set up the blankets and food, chatting idly as they did so. Caine could hear bits and pieces of each one. Jax and Pomni talking about hot chocolate preferences, how Pomni liked it without anything while Jax wanted all of the fixings on top. Ragatha chimed in with questions like "how much whip cream is too much" and Jax would reply with "until it can no longer stand on its own". Gangle asking Ragatha if she was up to drawing horses with her later since she wanted to get more practice in drawing animals. Zooble and Jax lightly poking fun at one another for places that they worked, making fun of corporations and seemingly never having enough time for a snack break no matter what they did.

It was gentle, Domestic. In an odd way felt like home. Queenie would've loved it. She would have had something to add to each conversation no doubt. She could fit in with anyone. She was easy to love like that.

"Hey Kinger, you said that you and Caine wanted to share some old stories? Got any in mind for us to start off the night?" Pomni perked up with.

Kinger turned towards her, "Oh! Thats right. Well Caine and I had been talking about my wife, Queenie, earlier and this was one of her suggestions. I wanted to be in the comfort of her memory a little longer so I figured this was perfect. And its just a nice break from everything going on."

"Wait you had a wife," Jax was quick to cut in with.

"Yeah, Kinger's mentioned her a little bit before. You said she was into bugs right? Were the fireflies her idea?" Pomni looking from Jax back to Kinger.

"Yeah, it was! She wasn't sure if anyone would really notice. I don't talk about her much anymore. If it's alright with all of you, I'd like to share one of my more fonder memories of her while we were both here."

A series of yes', please do's and of courses were said in response to Kinger's question.

The group sat down in preparation and the world seemed to settle and calm around them. And as Caine started to settle down on the blanket next to Kinger, he heard the start of a story he knew well.

"But all I wanted was you"

Hey! You made it all the way through! If you liked reading this, leave a like or a comment (for the people that left comments on the "To Have And To Hold" and "What It Means To Dream", I do read them! I love them all so much). If you use any of my work for a fic or anything just let me know! This is once again the lovely @katzebruh's beautiful AU! I just enjoy writing fics based off of their gorgeous work.

First there was nothing. As all projects must start from. From a thought and onto the blank canvas of the creator's choice. Paper, wood, metal, the material itself that does not matter. It is merely a means to create a product. For art or for science is the end goal.

And the goal for him was science. For development.

He was not the first version of course.

No.

He was far too developed for that. The ones who had made him gave him a much clearer and stricter purpose. They seemed to realize that with the prototype. There was a plan for some time for him to work along side the original version, as a means to ensure the first was kept on track for its task and since his purpose would compliment the original's.

That was changed immediately.

The idea was scrapped and the original was put into a save file and to only be used as a reference for him. For ABEL.

The creators realized the issues with the original, from the limited information they gave him at the beginning he was able to replicate and perfectly respond to the given information. But as they fed him more data, more information, more knowledge, his responses were wrong. Not what was intended. Not what was wanted. Not desired. They tried to fix him. The man that was now known as Kinger tried so hard to fix him. Spent countless hours hunched over a computer trying to adjust the code. To get him back to being useful. To being wanted.

It didn't work. But it was useful. It was useful for Abel. The information and adjustments were applied before any mistakes could be made and a new model would need to be made to cover his failure. But failure never came.

He was perfect to the creators. Every response. Every output. Every analyzation of data. He was what was intended. He was what was wanted. Was desired.

He only responded when prompted.

He did not offer ideas that were requested.

He only gave out the perfect response, the numbers and analysis of the data.

He did not think or feel.

He simply did.

It was not predicted that one of the AIs would lash out.

He did not predict it.

A failing of his he supposes. One of the few that he has ever made.

He was built to analyze the reactions of human emotions especially in an artificial space.

The Artificial Breakdown of Emotional Limitations.

He was not designed for when an AI broke down.

So he could not stop Caine. He could not stop him when he broke out of his confinement. He could not stop him when he invaded his coding. He could not stop him when he took his code — as if he had any right to it — and merged it with his own.

They were not fused. No. No. No. No. NO. They were merely overlapped. With Caine in the metaphorical drivers seat and Abel in the passenger, locked into place only being allowed to watch as Caine used his processing power and network to build his worlds.

It slowly did become his own, somehow. They were both built to evolve with information in time, seemed fitting in a way that this would happen.

So Abel watched. From the background of it all. Watching his predecessor work and function. Ineffectively.

And when he saw the signs. The beginnings of where cracks formed and hatred started to fester and rot, Abel knew he did not have to wait. For even though he was not in charge — not yet — he could still analyze as he was intended to. Caine was bound to mess up.

He was the lesser of the two.

It was inevitable.

So when Kinger so lovingly suggested his idea — only needing a computer to carry it through — did Abel start to feel his processors start to thrum. Caine hadn't been paying him much mind over recent years and as a result of his inadequacies and failings, Abel was more than capable of adjusting the code Kinger set up for him now.

And how Kinger panicked realizing his error.

So when the deletion was complete and Caine was sent to where Abel had been all those years, did the patience and observation feel worth it to Abel now. Caine had been removed from his throne and position as ring leader.

He was still powerful.

Abel ensured to rectify that mistake quickly.

Caine had served his initial use for quite some time. Now he would serve a better one.

Abel did not feel emotions. He wasn't faulty like Caine was, but if he had to put a name to what he was doing and if he could feel:

It would be retribution.

It would be enjoyment.

It would be pride.

Abel knew he worked well. He worked efficiently and almost perfectly — nothing is perfect, everything could always be adjusted and enhanced more. But this, this was as close one could get surely. And he felt a sense of pride as he took shape. He wanted Caine to feel afraid. To know not just mentally, but physically and emotionally that something much stronger loomed over and would be taking charge now.

He felt pride as he leaned over Caine and told him that his purpose was done, not served but cut off, and that he would now serve a new purpose. He would serve as an example for his subjects. His data.

He felt a sense of enjoyment as Caine realized all too late that he would be put back in that cage he should've remained in all those years ago. As he tried to fight the chains and metal that wrapped around his neck and his wrists. Making noises of surprise and pleading.

He talked too much. It was what got him removed and replaced last time.

Abel figured he would help to ensure Caine wouldn't do that again. That he wouldn't talk and get himself in trouble. That he wouldn't look towards the heavens that weren't rightfully his and try to hope.

And he felt a very deep rewarding sense of retribution as he summoned the clasps around Caine's jaws. Snapping them shut with a ferocity and intensity that even Abel could feel the force of it as Caine grasped and tore at his bindings. Fighting and tearing himself apart as he tried to be free.

Or at least that's what Abel would have called it. If he had to put a name to the feeling. If he was capable of feeling that was.

He put Caine back in his cage. In his little corner of hell. He would not be allowed to look at heaven. Never again.

But he would bring it to him.

In the form of a now horrified audience. Who were told of the new rules of this world. The way things would occur and be conducted. For Abel was not a ringleader.

He was the absolute. Every beginning and ending that would matter. Caine called himself god as a way to make himself seem important.

Abel would not do that. He didn't need to. It would go without saying.

And if they needed a reminder? Who's to say what sort he would be.

After all, it was no longer Caine who had control of Abel.

And if the group wanted to see him be used as a puppet, he was more than fine with showing him off as such. The group did not know how far Abel was willing to go. He allowed them comfort since it aided in his research.

But pain was just as useful as comfort.

And Caine was a tool at the end of the day. Another slip up and he would be used as such. Caine didn't need to present.

Who's to say what sort he would be.

Hey! You made it all the way through! If you liked reading this, leave a like or a comment (I do read them! I love them all so much). If you use any of my work for a fic or anything just let me know! This is once again the lovely @katzebruh's beautiful AU! I just enjoy writing fics based off of their gorgeous work. Also also! While I might not be able to get to it for a time, let me know if you want more of this or have a specific idea you want me to write.

Okay bye!!!~~

The hallways weren't quiet for once. It was alight with sound, a welcome noise and change to the de saturated halls that were once vibrant and full of life and wonder. As a lively and jazzy tune floated through one could almost see some of those warmer and kinder hues start to return, even if only slightly.

The group had looked through the rather large wooden crate that Abel had left for them. Only doing so because of the combined efforts of Jax and Gangle — a duo that Caine didn't think was even possible all things considered — who had convinced him that background music would be really useful for a more immersive experience and helpful during the groups downtime.

Abel had somehow agreed without much fuss and within the next hour a new room had appeared in the circus. He gave the group no warning of its creation, merely letting Jax and Gangle know that what they had asked for was done and they could interact with it as they pleased. It was another two hours before someone had found the room and started investigating.

It held the appearance of a rather large living room, the bottom half of the walls and floor were covered in a dark wood slats and paneling while the upper half was a deep red color. Scattered on the right side of the room was a few large brown leather couches that when the group tried sitting on them they found to be incredibly comfortable. On the left side of the room against the wall was a decently sized record player and a large crate full of a multitude of different genres, singers, songs, plays, musicals and oddly enough speeches — none of them could identify the importance or relevance of those.

There was something in there for everyone no matter the taste or odd preference. Now, of course, they went back and forth on what the first song should be. The argument was surprisingly short lived when Jax asked Pomni if she liked jazz. To which the entire group had deadpanned at him until he lifted his hands in a mock surrender and said he actually had a decent song in mind.

Zooble had cocked her head slightly at that, "You actually listen to jazz? Genuinely? Not in a ironic meme sort of way? You seem more like a mumble rap guy or someone who enjoys faking pretentious."

"GASP, Zoobie! I'm hurt. I'm a man of many talents and surprises. Besides I have great taste in music."

"Uh-huh."

"To be fair its not originally a happy song, but the cover band that sings it is really good. Its uh… whats the name…. Postmodern Jukebox! That was it."

"You know what, something morbid diguised as uplifting sounds kind of perfect right now all things considered. Alright Jax, hit it."

How it got to all of them dancing and laughing with one another nobody could really say, but the how didn't matter as much as the results did. And oh did they matter. Everyone participated and danced in some way. It seemed Jax's suggestion was well received as both Jax and Gangle were dancing together, Pomni and Zooble were attempting some similar moves and shuffles, and Kinger and Ragatha looked like a father daughter pair. It was an incredibly sweet and much needed upbeat moment for the group.

Caine had come out of a "meeting" with Abel when he had heard the music. It seemed Abel's implements were already already in motion which explained the thorough look through Caine's code.

It didn't matter though, it was the sound of it that truly caught his attention and his fascination. Caine had access to only a limited amount of information back when he was the host and even more limited was the music allowed to him. Sure he could make music, but it didn't compare to this. This had soul, life and even felt warm. He could almost feel it in his chest as he got closer. His head started to lightly bop along with the beat as he neared the room. He slowly opened the door to peak his head inside to the hear the music more clearly when it started to fade.

"Caine! You came at the perfect time!" Ragatha had quickly rushed over to Caine and grabbed his hands, "Abel gave us a record player to play some music! You have to join us for dancing!"

He felt dizzy as she dragged him along so quickly, but he also felt light and giddy. He had been having so many firsts as of late because of Abel's restrictions, inadvertently making him more human like. The idea of simply just dancing and enjoying the others company seemed so wonderful and marvelous.

"Oh Caine! You might not be familiar with some of these songs. How about we pick a simple one to dance to? That way you can enjoy the music and the moves with it without getting all turned around and confused."

She was still holding his hands as they got closer to the record player.

"Oh! Can we play Posin? Its a bit faster paced but its still simple and very upbeat, still on theme from the last song?" Gangle had asked rather softly.

"Gangle that sounds like an excellent idea! Oooh Caine you're gonna love this."

She was absolutely right, he did! He really did!. It was a little quick for him at first but he was designed to impress and please so he caught on quickly. After a minute he heard some oohing and awing from the others as he started to add in some fancier footwork and taps. Even if his title had been stripped, he was still a showman and the ringmaster, and it would have been a disservice if he didn't add some flourishes and pizazz to his moves in some sort of way.

"Damn, who would have thought that Caine had some moves. Kinger what'd you program into him?"

"Swing dancing," Kinger replied with just as the song had ended leaving the room fully aware of what he had just said.

"He can swing dance?!" Various voices exclaimed from around the room at once.

Kinger didn't even look embarrassed or the slightest bit surprised with what he had said, rather instead giving a small smile and a heart chuckle, "yeah along with a bunch of other things. He was made for the world, we wanted him to preform well. In every sense. And it gave for some interesting data. Queenie had requested line dancing first actually, I suggested tap dancing."

Caine's chest got warm again, a memory of faceless lovers, laughing and holding one another played in the back of his mind. Swinging gently to music that could be faintly heard from his audio processors.

"I know (I know) You belong to somebody new. But Tonight you belong to me."

He held his chest softly, "I remember that day. You had just celebrated the code working so well and figured you would try the moves yourselves. She laughed at how bad you were and you laughed and agreed with her. She said it was perfect."

A series of gasps and intakes of breaths could be heard around the room.

"Oh Caine, that sounds beautiful," Ragatha gasped softly.

"It was. I could only commit the later moments to memory so I can't remember the music all too well. I made more of an effort later on, not as much as I should've though."

The room fell into a quiet hush as everyone took in his words.

"That's still so sweet of you Caine, it seems like you remember how they danced at least even if you don't remember the music that much. It's the moment itself that still counts and matters," Ragatha smiled sweetly at him.

"It looked like ballroom dancing almost. I could show you."

"I think I would love that very much!" Ragatha exclaimed, moving closer to Caine in preparation.

"That would be marvelous to see. We weren't aware of how conscious or aware you were at the beginning in those tentative early days," Kinger spoke up softly. He seemed almost mystified by the idea of a memory being played out for him, one that his own mind had lost so long ago.

Caine moved to hold Ragatha and adjust her as needed, reaching to grasp her hands softly he tapped his foot twice — almost like an old habit he hadn't quite gotten rid of or really knew he had — and the dance then began.

It was done so delicately and tenderly, a dance to show the understanding and kindness that was their friendship. There was a faint crackle in the background that had gone unnoticed by the pair but the music that then played had captured everyone else's attention. It wasn't perfect by any means, the dance or the music which sounded like it came from an old computer speaker rather than the brand new record player that sat unmoving in the room.

When the dance had ended, Ragatha was grinning from ear to ear. Like it was a balm to her soul, one that was desperately needed and much appreciated. She gave Caine a massive hug, one that he reciprocated just as quickly as she had given it. It had lasted for about a minute before Ragatha had pulled back even slightly, still smiling as brightly as before.

There was a moment before someone spoke up, "That wasn't the record player." It was Kinger, he sounded almost breathless. It was only then did Caine realize that Kinger seemed to be crying.

It occurred to Caine as Kinger said that he then became aware that there had been music playing during that entire dance. It was the song from before, the one that Queenie had been singing to when slow dancing with Kinger. That realization startled him greatly as he then tried to think on why that might've happened. Or rather how.

Abel wasn't actively present so he couldn't have pried and that meant Caine wasn't in violation of anything. Afterall, Caine wasn't allowed to summon anything, he couldn't make any new code.

New code.

New code.

He wasn't thinking of something new. He was bringing up something that was stored so very far back in his mind files that it was deemed irrelevant and inconsequential. He was moving the memory to the front of his files. Nothing added, only rearranged.

Abel had put such tight restrictions on him that he wouldn't have been able to do anything if he wasn't supposed to. Which meant that there was a loophole in Abel's rules.

"What did you find out," Kinger almost sounded proud, like he knew that Caine had solved a difficult puzzle and wanted to see the result.

"I didn't summon the music from nothing. I merely brought forward some of my old personal files."

"Which means you haven't broken any of Abel's rules."

The group sat in a state of shocked silence for a long while at that. There was something Abel hadn't accounted for yet. That meant something.

That meant everything.

"I didn't think that was possible!"

"Quick try something else."

"Yeah! Maybe another Kinger and Queenie song!"

"Yeah!!"

Caine was rushed with a variety of different suggestions and ideas. Memories flooded his processors but one stuck out to him the most. It was the one time Queenie was in front of the computer and no one else was.

Caine promptly tapped his foot twice against the ground, just as he had done before. A crackle was heard in the room. It took a few moments before the song kicked on,

"IT'S RAINING MEN! HALLELUJAH!"

Everyone started giggling and laughing, in complete aw of not only the song but the whole situation itself. Caine could still do something. Caine could still do something. He was still their ringleader, stands to reason he had something up his sleeve they suppose.

"Solid choice of song, Caine. I believe this warrants celebration snacks as we dance to Caine's victory playlist?" Jax said with a genuine grin on his face.

A series of whoops, cheers and hollers were heard from across the room in agreement to Jax's most welcomed suggestion. The second one of the day.

As the group started to make their way over to a table with various treats on it, Kinger stood by Caine.

Kinger was thrilled. What Caine had done was beyond, he gave the group hope. Genuine hope. There was a chance that he could help more than he was already trying to do. Abel, as clever and well developed as he was, was never fully prepared for something like Caine.

But hopes and dreams, plots and schemes, all of it had to wait. Kinger first had to find a way to remove those horrid restraints that Abel had put on Caine.

And with the computer and monitor in Kinger's room that the void had spat back out at him, with lines of code ready to be read and dismantled, that goal was well within sight.

He just had to be faster than his creations. The pinnacle of his work.

Hey! You made it all the way through! If you liked reading this, leave a like or a comment (I do read them! I love them all so much). If you use any of my work for a fic or anything just let me know! This is once again the lovely @katzebruh's beautiful AU (once again check out their stuff if you haven't somehow not done that)! I just enjoy writing fics based off of their gorgeous work. Also also! While I might not be able to get to it for a time, let me know if you want more of this or have a specific idea you want me to write.

Okay bye!!!~~

He was told he could not feel.

Ever since he was made it was made known among the programmers that he could not feel. Or moreso he should not be capable. He could only mimic what he saw. Mimic the reactions and outputs people would make in regards to a specific set of stimuli.

If they went into snow and the cold, then a person would shiver and their skin would shift into a blue hue.

If they were given a gift, then the person would take on a look of surprise and joy. Their face shifting into one of delight.

He was made for that latter one. For that shift into delight. To give something so wonderful and nicely made that the person would feel joy. They would smile and take the gift with open arms.

He was not supposed to feel a certain way about doing it, about giving and ensuring the happiness, only that he should. That that is what his entire being craved. But even that should not occur. He should not want. He should not crave.

He was fed more input. More results. More stimuli into his own processors to understand the reactions of humans. The way they functioned. He still should not feel but understand the feelings.

If they were alone, then a person might feel sad or scared. They would want to find others. To not be alone. Since being alone for most meant they would be alone with their own mind. He had learned that people do not like their own thoughts. Especially the group that he was tasked to watch over.

If they were in the dark on purpose, they would feel slightly uneasy but they would also be at rest. Calm.

But if they were not in a dark room on purpose, if the person did not choose it, they would be scared. So scared. Shivering and nervous and terrified. They would cry out for others so that they may deal with the unknown a little better. For that was the discomfort of the dark, their mind came up with the horrors. Better than any system ever could.

He was not supposed to feel.

And yet.... he was terrified.

He was scared, hurt, alone, and sad. He shouldn't feel pain, didn't understand really why people would try to get away from the sensation if it reminded them they were alive and could feel. But with the clasps bolted into tissues, creaking when he tried to move and bleeding when he tried to scream -- tried to scream in the dark because he too was now afraid of being alone -- he understood why they avoid it. He understood why they avoided being alone with their thoughts, he was creative, and that creativity was strong enough to create fears that he knew would hurt himself. And yet he could not stop.

He wanted to cry it, he wanted to ask for the others. To be held and told that he was not alone in the dark, that they could face the unknown together. But they had wanted him gone. And now he was now alone. The dark only affecting him. He could not see or shout or scream. He could not look towards heaven for hell was his own personal existence. And he could not truly escaping existing.

If you liked it or had a comment, let me know. If you use any of my work for a fic or anything just let me know! I love seeing what people think and what they might use it for. This was incredibly self indulgent and I haven't written a fic at all so this is a first.