#angrywriting

Why do people prefer to believe a lie when the truth is clear and available to them?

It is the ultimate ignorance of human development, a complete state of denial and hatred of the self because in doing so the subject argues against what they accept to be true and what they know to be real subconsciously. In my construction of my black female identity, I must accept the truth of what constructs society has imposed upon my being, because by not doing so I am not creating a full black female existence.

My mother continues to preach that love never fails, but I disagree. Nobody can love perfectly and not everyone deserves love. There comes a time where you have to displace your love. Some people will never learn otherwise.

My Dad is an asshole. Always has been and always will. He will never change. Clearly, my mother will never leave him. She keeps hoping he will change, but the truth is, he wont. He knows she will never leave him so he will never do anything different. He is the most stubborn, hard-headed assholes I know.

No wonder I turned out to be a lesbian.

Selfish. Selfish. Abusive. Emotionally unstable.

Never ending cycle.

Never ending assholery.

Fuck your bald head and fuck your stupid BBQ

Nobody gives a shit anymore.

Everything you do doesn’t matter anymore.

The same shit every week.

When does it change?

You never will.

My mom wont give up, but

What murky monsters lurk in your mind,

labyrinthine?

I will slay them dead as stones,

clave their craniums,

grind their bones,

and we shall feast on bread and wine,

while skulls on stakes are brandished high,

so far and wide the demons see

the price they'll pay

for hurting thee.

 ---------

What devils hunt you in the deep and dank

recesses of your sleep?

Echoes of matriarchal creaks.

I'll whisper and drown out the din,

Smash the organ

and I will sing,

a melody of decimation,

disintegrating all the transgressions.

Leaving nothing, but their teeth

as a necklace I would keep,

and as they're slain I'd beat my chest

for all to see, the fangs lain there

of tortured foes that crossed your path,

and doing so incurred my wrath.

  ---------

What hounds of hell conspire to hunt your mind,

stealing moments of it's time?

Their bodies will be launched through rocks,

their skin will flay with just a look:

my eyes all fire and brimstone and sulphur,

in my eyes they'll watch their suffers,

their screams are oxygen to my flames

and they will burn for days and days.

Their scalps will decorate my walls,

their ponytails soaked red and raw,

the stench will float for miles around,

and any hell-hound wanders near

will whimper and slink to steer clear,

for the blood-soaked ground will scream in rhyme