Oct 17, 2019
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This keeps happening I’m sorry.
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Headcanon that the cats like Andrew better than Neil
Okay so hear me out. Neil is out running one day, it’s cold and snowy and he finds these two five week old kittens in an overturned box in the middle of a park. There’s no one around. He doesn’t know what the fuck to do with kittens. But he can’t in good conscious leave them there. So he shoves them in the front pocket of his hoodie and walks home, figuring he can drop them off at a rescue or something. But on the way home they fall asleep and they are PURRING and warm in his hoodie. He vaguely remembers Andrew feeding a couple strays at the Columbia house over the years. So he gets home. Andrew is awake but it’s still early. He’s cranky. “So.....you likes cats okay, right?” asked Neil, tapping his thumbs on the marble counter-top.
“Better than you most of the time,” said Andrew, without missing a beat.
Andrew never was a morning person.
Neil bit his lip. “So...if we got a cat...that wouldn’t be so bad.”
Andrew’s head turned back and hazel eyes gave Neil a once over. He was still sleep addled but Neil could see his mind sharpening by the second. His gaze flicked down to Neil’s overstuffed hoodie.
“Neil. Is there a cat in your jacket?”
“No,” he said automatically, shifting nervously.
Andrew arched a blond eyebrow at him and watched as Neil reached in to retrieve the kittens.
“Two cats,” he said.
The kittens stirred from being jostled and Neil cradled them in his arms for a long moment before looking back up at Andrew through long lashes.
“No,” said Andrew, his voice monotone and expression completely blank.
“Someone dumped them. Andrew, they don’t have a home,” Neil didn’t mean to whine but he knew how he sounded and couldn’t find himself in it to regret it.
“No.”
“In the cold, in a cardboard box. It’s twenty degrees outside...”
“Absolutely not.”
Andrews eyes narrowed, Neil pouted, the kittens meowed quietly. And so they have cats. When they’re kittens they will flock to whoever is around but as they get older they blatantly favor Andrew. Neil can’t figure out why. He only ever sees Andrew scowling at them, setting them on the floor when they jump on his lap or the bed, physically moving his body to get away from them. Neil complains about it endlessly and Andrew just ignores him. And then one day when the cats are about a year old he sees it. Andrew comes home from the gym - Neil is supposed to be out but he’s in the office and peeks around the corner at the sound of the door closing. The cats flock to Andrew and circle his legs. Then he kneels down and pulls a tiny little bag from his pocket. He digs out two small treats and holds them up. “Sit assholes,” he said, hovering his hands over their faces with the treats pinched between his fingers. After a few seconds they actually fucking sit. Neil is APPALLED that Andrew has not only been teaching them tricks but feeding them behind his back and now understands why when they’re sitting on the couch they always curl up next to Andrew and why when he holds them they struggle to get away. “ANDREW JOSEPH MINYARD I CANNOT FUCKING BELIEVE YOU.”
Neil storms across the room and snatches the baggie from Andrew’s hand as he stands and Andrew doesn’t even have the decency to look sufficiently chastised. Andrew just tosses his bag aside and takes off his jacket and moves to sit on the couch. The cats follow him but then Neil shakes the bag. They turn around and come back towards him. He’s annoyed but not annoyed enough to see if they will do the same trick for him so he crouches down, treats in hand. “Sit.” The cats sit and he grins as he gives them treats and they let him scratch the back of their ears without running away for once. Across the room Andrew turns on the TV and drawls, “They already weigh sixteen pounds Neil, stop over-feeding them.” Neil chucks the sealed baggie and it collides with the back of Andrews head.
Andrew in shirt form.
Neil in shirt form.
Bonus Andrew.
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More AFTG Headcanons
Headcanon in which the Foxes drunk karaoke. Probably done a lot before but idgaf. Dan and Matt: sing a ridiculous duet to something that shouldn’t be a duet like ‘Faith’ by George Michael. Sound remarkably good. Allison: ‘Paparazzi’ by Lady Gaga, with a lot of flare, means every word, not a great singer, knows it, doesn’t care, sings as loud as possible. Renee: Sober, but gets surprisingly into ‘Shadows of the Night’ by Pat Benetar. Aaron: Refused until Allison bet him a hundred dollars he wouldn’t do it so he does and sings the quietest, most monotone ‘Ring of Fire’ by Johnny cash because there are ‘only a couple words so fuck all of you.’ Nicky: Absolutely screams ‘Gimme More’ by Britney spears and is convinced he’s ‘won’ while everyone else is covering their ears. Kevin: ‘Toto’ by Africa. Claims it’s a classic. Everyone gives him shit for it. Matt: ‘I really fuckin’ hate you.’ Neil: Drunk enough to be talked into it, but spends twenty minutes looking because he doesn’t know any of the songs. Decides on something Nicky had added to his ipod and they play at the gym for morning workouts a lot because at least he knows the lyrics. Everyone sits in stunned silence as he nails ‘Run Away With Me’ by Carly Rae Jepsen. Andrew: Has to leave before Neil is even done because he just CAN’T. And also there is no way he is singing in front of other people, absolutely not. ~*~ Later Aaron, tipsy and in a mood back at the dorms called Andrew a coward for not singing. Andrew ignores him, turns the radio up and continues washing dishes. Towards the end of the song on the radio he belts out the last few bars of ‘From Yesterday’ by Thirty Seconds to Mars with a surprisingly decent voice. Aaron just stares at him as Andrew finishes the dishes, turns the radio off and wipes his hands on his jeans. As he leaves the room he pauses next to Aaron and leans into whisper in his ear ‘No one will believe you.’
Andrew meeting Neil for the first time.
My work is at defcon 1 over the coronavirus since some of our employees also work for another facility with diagnosed cases (I work in a semi-medical environment) and somehow all of the stress ended with me writing a fanfic AU about Andreil being neighbors who hate each other but quarantined in their apartment building due to an outbreak of some flu. So that’s taking a frown and turning it upside down. Hopefully I’ll finish by tomorrow night.