Long , personal post- I was just looking at a picture of a girl that my bf commented on, a girl I have met and it just made me think about my body. I used to adore my body, and I know my bf did too. After 2 incredibly lazy, binge-eating pregnancies my body is just shit. I hate it. I eat garbage food (not literally, OK?) and do not exercise. This is my fault. I just really miss being able to take cute pictures of my butt, just like the girl in the picture. She had a kid, and she looks great. Idk, I just feel really trapped in this foreign body of mine. I know it is just a vessel for what really matters, but damn man, I miss being cute. I miss sexy underwear, short skirts, and taking pictures of my butt! I fucking love my butt! I wish I could just find the energy to change.... I am so fed up with feeling like my outside is not a reflection of my inside. I feel 2 different people in one body. I need a change, that's why I moved here. Just fucking do it. Gah.