#and rambles

so Im still "drawing a fnaf nothing Burger comic" because its fun

and I remembered how funny this interaction is to me

because Gregory just said that the woman cut the connection with the main network and Freddy is just " hmm yes must be his mother"

"This is Mammon, my boyfriend, and this is Levi, his brother, who is also my boyfriend; and that's their brother Beel, who is also my boyfriend; and that's Asmo, their brother, who is also my boyfriend; and their brother Satan, who is also my boyfriend; and their brother Belphie (Beel's twin), who is also my boyfriend; and their oldest brother Lucifer, who is also my boyfriend"

Bell Lungs - Frost Pocket

this seems the most intuitive to me, something about the mix of the percussion that sounds like a carriage cricketing down an old path mixed with crawling bugs and decay, and the repetition of the violin, repeating but sporadic and not quite making a melody - it could be delilah or Laudna's thoughts. it's Like music but not quite there, but when presented at the right time, in the right manner, and most importantly to the right audience - then it is. and personally I'm a huge fan of sitting in a small pub at a table with a drink and closing my eyes to this (speaking from experience~)

U - Black Vaughan

"In “Black Vaughan” the rumbling of battlefield drums beckon us into the sinister tale of a tyrant felled in conflict whose spirit lived on to terrorise local residents until his eventual exorcism by 12 parsons who captured his spirit in a silver snuff box.

U’s rumination on this tale of violence, fear and woe is striking in the intricate way it weaves spoken word, spectral, heart-wrenching piano melodies and stirring, almost triumphant horn lines reminiscent of the soundtrack to Kurosawa’s “Seven Samurai”."

there's something about this song that feels like a collage, rather than traditional sampling, and in that way it sounds like memories chained together and overlapping. the beating drums of a funeral procession or leading a mob, the brief trumpets in the second half that kinda sound like war horns, the bits of dialogue here and there, how it all sounds so dreamy and at peace with it all somehow...

Cul De Sac - Dust of Butterflies

I think when the guitar comes in on this song it's like the influence of Imogen's presence, the two of them taking off on their journey's together. it's such a beautiful bleak but also hopeful song, it has a trill that reminds me of my very favourite piece of music by stravinsky, and so reminds me of dinosaurs walking a scorched earth (if you know you know) and why couldn't that be Laudna moving through marquet? (I used to walk around London graveyards to this one)

Extra life - three worms

this one is more a lyrical train of thought thing than it being about how it sounds (altho they are heavily influenced by mediaeval tuning and vocal work so it works 2 the olde high fantasy setting 2 AND the droning violin and bow being used to play the electric bass GO HARD), but also it's fun to think she's just having like fucked up nursery rhyme thoughts like this that get manic at the end. here's the lyrics:

Three worms molest my ears again

On my way home from work they work their way in

1, 2, 3 in a row, they start singing

“Bury all that work you did, and start again from nothing”

The first worm is called What If

The curling question fingers me with just a whiff

Tease inside my head-holes

Perfuming my hollows

Hey man, I’m just saying

What if?

Worm 2 is called Why Not

In the back of my throat, just a thought

Bargain with my memory

Amnesia mockery

“Yo bro, I’m just saying

Why keep on fighting it?”

I fold, invertebrate

Why not

Why not obey those evil friends?

As I quicken my pace, my brain it starts running

One by one by one, they’re chiming in

“Cut yourself in half again, and just grow back on Monday”

Worm the third is called Fuck It

Worm the third is me

His brain uncoils and slithers out

Into the dirt, and now he’s free

It’s gonna be a wormy weekend!

Fuck it, why not?

EDIT: a couple honourable mentions without my input, just the vibes. (and also rearranging the artist and song titles so they're all in that order)

susumu yokata - lost child

Leyland kirby/the caretaker - I feel as if I might be vanishing

I would say it's probably the main reason I became sympathetic to him, along with a few fics and artwork that explored 'What if Shifty was treated like the child he was and not a monster.'

But yeah it was very easy for me to see all his behavior and go 'yeah of course he acts like that, its literally all he knows.' at no point was he really shown to be 'evil', just curious, and not understanding why his caretakers would want to limit him. Sure its scary that he could turn into whatever, but, again, he was never shown to have any other goal than 'know a lot of forms', which, when his main caretaker is always praising him about, would be something he'd fixate on.

Sure he threw Fiddleford in a closet, but he didn't kill him, or really hurt him, just freaked him out. Kids don't understand right or wrong, just what they see around them, so if all he sees is 'Lock things up to get what you want (Ford locked Shifty up for research, Fiddleford wants to lock him up for safety, he will lock fiddleford up for the journal)' and is never exposed to any other kind of communication, its less scary and more 'Oh, Shifty was, in his own way, desperate to impress Ford and wanted to grow, but he was also a baby and didn't have the skills or vocabulary or understanding to really convey that, and the Fords were coming in with the bias of 'this is an animal/pet, and any sentience is mimicked at best.''

Makes me sad. Sad little bug guy, never really understood where he went wrong, just following his nature.

Of course, he very well might have been evil. We'll never know, as his nurturing really did just enforce any potential 'evil' nature. If everyone around him only reacts in fear when he tries to be independent, he's not going to know how to not be the monster they think he is.

Also he was stuck in a hole for an unknown amount of time alone. Bound to drive anyone some kind of crazy.

But yeah my feelings towards him definitely stem from the same place as when I look at bratty, violent, screaming, socially/self regulating struggling kids and go 'Man, this kid is an asshole, but they're also a kid and its my job to teach them to be less of an asshole.'

I've got a couple of major assholes right now. Kids who's first reaction is violence, or who delight in destroying others things, or who don't understand why they can't always have their way, or how to calm down when their emotions start going haywire. Kids, especially young kids, can be pretty selfish and demanding, but once you figure out how to get on their level and communicate with them in a manner they understand, you can take steps to helping them. Teach breathing exercises, reinforce empathy, give them examples and model behavior so that they can learn to interact with their peers in a healthier manner.

They make my life really hard, but I love them, because when they aren't being huge jerks who laugh in my face after ripping things up, they can be very sweet. Kids are selfish, but they're also selfless. The same kid who screams and tries to bite me is also the first to offer help when i need it, and loves hugs and teaching the younger kids where things go. The kid that jumps on the furniture and has 0 impulse control is the first to offer comfort when others are upset, and will sit with other kids who are crying until they feel better. They're little bundles of contradictions, you just gotta learn how to nurture the kind parts so they can better control themselves.

“Well what do you want!”

“I wanna have this baby!”

“Good! So do I!!”

Is making me so emotional now knowing that that little clump of cells is LITTLE JONAH growing in there 🥹🥹