#and man...

kicks rock. i know jason is a big deal and ppl have been wanting him forever. kicks can. but man. man i wanted slenderman. i wouldnt have stfu'ed if it was slenderman. kicks deflated football. pictures a page tacked onto the nearby tree. sighs. kicks bloody disembodied hand.

St. Chrysotom says, "And he who arrived only at the eleventh hour, let him not be afraid by reason of his delay. For the Lord is gracious and receives the last even as the first". I feel like I am the one who arrived at the eleventh hour, given how the last few months have been for me. I have been embarrassed and even ashamed of myself. Felt unworthy at times. But hearing this last night made me realize that everything is alright. I am welcome to the feast regardless of my faults and tardiness. I am still here. I still arrived. God was waiting, even for me. And He always will wait for us so that we too can come and celebrate and rejoice in love and hope for we are redeemed and Hell is defeated.

to the older black guy whom i've met in san francisco, who looked like a reggae god with a lit joint, whose name i don't know and who spoke his life wisdom - i hope you know that you will have 50 drunk polish teens saluting your health any time we mention the trip. you were right. we should do the things that we feel in our soul.