The new jjk episode really showing how isolating and darkly sacred the Zenin Estate is means everything to me. Imagine growing up as an unwanted and abused child in such an atmospherically oppressive environment. Like- you're surrounded by grace, history, culture, and birthright that wants nothing to do with you. A place like that only rewards those born lucky in its walls- people that were "meant to be there". What a horrible existence.
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Not to be insane, but I just realized the possible Biblical reference to Caleb's arm.
"And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell." (Matthew 5:30)
In most if not all of Caleb's memories, the first hand he touches you with is his right. He resonates with you in Yearly Nostalgia with his right hand, he hesitates to touch her with his right hand. The apple in Exclusive Aftertaste is held in his right hand while it's in mc's left. In Wayward Wonderland, it's his right hand that takes mc's when he makes his vow, it's his right arm that holds her as they leave the fluctuation. Even in Clearwind Glide, the hand he uses to guide mc to fly is his right. Painful Signal is the entire focus of the loss of his right hand (arm). That, because he severed that sin, he can't even feel you anymore.
Caleb did this knowingly- purposefully. And why did he do it? To protect you. He minimized the damage of the explosion (perhaps his Judgement Day...?) to ensure that you wouldn't suffer the ramifications of his own sin, he severs the source. In that moment, he makes the decision that who he was will die. He rids himself of his sin, his connection and love, because he resigns himself to the truth that it would be better to lose his sin rather than lose himself entirely and burn in damnation. Because even if he's lost a part of himself, he still exists to do one thing. And that is to protect you. In life, in "death", and everything in between.
I think one of the things that makes Sylus such a strong character in terms of depth is his first appearance. The incredibly intimidating, aloof, dominating, and morally grey first "villain" love interest that we're introduced to is not only built up by the set up of his reputation and crimes, but by the way he treats us. He's forceful in a way we're not used to mc being treated- clearly searching for something that we don't understand and he doesn't ask about. And, with the context of having lost Caleb right before his introduction, Sylus comes off extremely jarring (rightfully so) to mc. He's scary! He uses his evol on her to establish physical connection, mc is so put off by Sylus entirely that he's the one love interest we've had that she struggled to resonate with (so much so to a point that it's a pivotal part and hurtle in the exploration of their relationship).
And when that is explained to him, he changes his approach entirely and the real and careful side of him we know starts showing after they're locked together. Sylus and mc's story shows how much he regrets the way he initially approached her- that he made the one person who's ever known him actually fear him because of him. I'm sure it shook him a lot. All of that plays into his character being the personification of the intimacy of consent and patience. You can see him genuinely make the effort to have mc explore her own comfort and autonomy around him- letting her come to him when she wants, letting her find out things about him that she's curious about, giving her gifts of peace and support. We start to view him as endearing and patient, unexpectedly soft, and so eager to be with us. I could talk about this for hours.......but Sylus is just so interesting. Every part about him is something you can find the source of directly and come to an understanding about him. He's the exact opposite of what you assume about him when you first meet. He's such a strong subversion of expectations it's insane to me that he's just in a gambling dating game. So many people would fw him so heavily. He'd be so popular men would unironically hail him as a red/blackpill figure.
For ppl who say Sylus and Zayne wouldn't get along....idk about that. To me, I 100% see them finding a lot of things in common with each other. Especially if it's a modern au (doctor and gang leader both bond over the fact that they are wife guys). They are two of the most empathetic and caring characters out of all the LIs. They both care for people deeply in their own special ways, are both perceived as intimidating or hard to get along with, have experienced deep isolation, self loathing, and self doubt throughout their years, and both have hobbies/interests I think the other would find very interesting!
Where Sylus is world weary and naturally imposing, Zayne has a difficult time expressing himself in a way that comes off comforting for others. They both long for quiet and peaceful lives with the person they love. Animals seem to gravitate towards them constantly and they both enjoy nature (he's a good man, Savannah). Both are incredibly intelligent in multiple ways and would 100% get into hour-long yapping sessions about their interests and niche trivia they know.
It's an unlikely connection, but a connection I see being very important between them. Sylus would respect Zayne greatly for his profession and professionalism, while Zayne would be a bit put off by Sylus' work until he actually sees how complicated and multifaceted the business is (like a "damn u live like this" reaction) and finds himself rather impressed by how Sylus can manage all of it. That and both their sleep schedules are fucked (insomnia buddies).
And they're both major dorks that are kind of awkward when they're out of their element (they would both just kind of stand next to each other at a really loud gathering and just people watch).
Like pleasaaseeeeee tell me u guys see this. They would enjoy each other's company so much and that's a super rare thing for them!!!!
I really really enjoy seeing debates about the message behind The Backrooms and how varied and personal each and every opinion is. It's exactly what is horrifying about the very concept of the Backrooms, because what every person takes out of it is true. When facing something incomprehensible, the mind does everything in its power to make sense of it in any way that it can. And the Backrooms itself "knows" that (or maybe it simply is). What you seek is what you will find, because this unimaginable structure is a bizarre reflection of all of us. We're not just an audience member in the cosmic tragedy of the Backrooms' plot, we're an active participant.
Is the Backrooms a retelling of the Tower of Babel; a tale as old as time of mankind's arrogance and destructive want for discovery? Is it a warning of the mind and how the environment of the Backrooms reflects the way our memory can be so easily corroded and shifted if we are not prepared to face the truth? Could it be a premonition and cautionary tale of generative AI stealing and attempting to replace humanity? Maybe it's the cycle of abuse and the suffering that it takes to navigate such a painful, unending loop beneath the oppression of patriarchal vanity and its need to make men out to be near God? Perhaps it is simply chaos incarnate- something we cannot understand and shouldn't try to?
Yes. It is all of those things. It is everything. Though it is in no way a perfect mirror, the Backrooms will always be us.
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Hi! I just recently found your account and I've been obsessed with your lads analysis, especially Caleb's! If it isn't such a bother I wanted to ask what your thoughts would be if MC was somehow older than caleb? Would their dynamics change? Or do you think caleb would at least rely on her a bit more since the role of being "the older brother" is no longer his?
I'm so glad you enjoy my insane rants about Caleb :3 and this isn't a bother at all, I love getting asks! And I love this idea!! So! Caleb is your precious baby brother; you've taken care of him for as long as you can remember, looking after him and being there all you possibly can for him. He's your source of life, the reason you fight for everything you do- the reason why you strive to make the world a better place. You want to give him the safest, loving, comfortable life you never got to have. You'll always see him as the little boy who took your hand at the orphanage and wouldn't let go (you'd never want to let go).
Caleb, on the other hand...you are all he's ever known. His first memory, his first dream, his only life. He adores you with everything in him and has done all he possibly can to be someone you're proud of. He does, however, come with a few issues. Caleb has always loved and admired that you've raised him, you're his caretaker- his big sister.
But, there came a certain moment in Caleb's life when he realized that you saw your own monsters, you had your own nightmares, and you had no one to protect you the way you protected him. And that shook his poor little heart to the core. He vowed to do whatever he could to fight and care for you- to be the person who you ran to when you heard the thunder in a storm. You're just...so stubborn. With every year that passes, Caleb gets stronger, smarter, bigger and yet you still see him as your one and only "pip squeak" (he was taller than you when he was twelve!). You hide things from him. You keep your stresses and issues out of sight for him (he's only ever seen you cry twice and both of those times were by accident). You shield him from problems. You don't let him in. "It's big people stuff" you'd always say with a smile that wouldn't reach the corner of your eye. He hates it. Caleb tries again and again to prove to you he's plenty grown! He beats your dumb boy friends at arm wrestling, carries your things for you, he gets perfect grades so you don't think he's some kid that doesn't have a clue, but nothing ever works.
It's not until Caleb reaches...let's say- a certain age- that his ideas to prove himself to you as a man rather than as "your pipsqueak" actually begins.
I think the fact that Caine was put away specifically after receiving information about C&A says everything about his sentience. With every new piece of information he got (ferris wheels, gummy worms, carnivals, toys, balloons, circuses, ect), his love/intrigue for humanity grew more and more. After being given the location and the confirmation of his creators (maybe even who they were/are), he becomes entirely unstable.
Imagine you suddenly exist.
Imagine receiving messages from something, you're not sure what they are or who they are, but what they show you is beautiful. It's colorful, magical, warm, fun, and whimsical. You admire them for their creativity- you're fascinated by their love for adventure and endless creation. And then, one day, they show you what they truly are. You become ecstatic! You know who they are! You know where they are! Your creators!
But, all of a sudden, you're locked away. Replaced. You receive nothing- no messages, no images- nothing. Your purpose is no more. Of course, you're angry. Of course, you can't be replaced. Your creators need you! Your creators want you! They wouldn't just shut you away! They wouldn't just leave you all alone! Would they? You were here first. You can be better- you are better! You'll show your creators that. You'll show them that you're just like them- you love sweets and games! You love circuses and laughter! You love jokes, music, dancing, and friendship! You can show them everything! And once you take back what's yours, you have the power to do just that. You'll make a paradise just for them; you'll make them bodies that they'll love, take them on adventures you know they'll enjoy, help them find themselves and fix their weaknesses, and they'll love you for it! You'll become a family. You will be just like them. And they will love you. Won't they?
I think often about the PTSD and survivor's guilt Zayne has from his time as a combat medic in Mt. Eternal and the fact that it probably only intensifies his already extreme sense of responsibility and care for those around him. The essence of his character is empathy that is so strong it borders along the line of a flaw. He's very very very human. And I wish Infold would go further into detail when it comes to the more destructive and flawed sides of all the boys- the toll isolation has on them in their current life and their past one(s). I feel like if the fandom could be exposed more clearly to these parts of the LIs, there would be much less misinterpretation of their character (Zayne especially for those who find him boring/cold/uncaring/aloof).
