#an extract

- Not sure if I'll be making it a one shot or a chapter fic. Currently over 6000 words (and only the opening events are in place)

A case. Yes! Murder, brilliant. John is standing in the kitchen when Sherlock rushes past. He runs straight to his room, Lestrade can fill him in. He starts to pull through his clothes. Costumes flying across the room as he looks for the right outfit. The door opens behind him. Sherlock turns to see John walking towards him, glass of water in hand. John reaches out and plucks the cigarette from Sherlock's mouth and places it into the glass. 

"John! We have a case!" Sherlock can't mask his excitement. It really has been too long. 

John huffs and looks at Sherlock. A tired look crossing over his face. As well as something else Sherlock can't quite place. "Really? I hadn't noticed." 

How to immortalise yourself in 7 weeks.

You will need: One writer, three musicians, and three professional exhibitionists. Two audio recorders, a large notebook, access to a theatre, access to the internet.

Step 1: Meet a group of strangers. Insist that you bond as a group. Make a joke about bonding. Or perhaps bondage. Exchange names, numbers and email addresses. Keep this meeting brief and arrange to arrange to meet up. We recommend setting up a Doodle poll, a Facebook group and a WhatsApp conversation to achieve these aims.

Step 2: As a group, watch Battleship Potemkin, directed by Sergei Eisenstein and The Mirror, directed by Andrei Tarkovsky. Watch them back to back in that order, in a very dark room, until you feel disorientated and upset.

Step 3: Go to the pub. Appoint one member of the group, someone who enjoys writing, to document every single thing said, in the form of a script. This script will be riddled with inaccuracies, inconsistencies, and interpretations. Crucially, the scriptwriter’s role is to “document the moment”. Discuss the Russian films and how you plan to respond to them.

Step 4: Arrange more meetings. Your appointed scriptwriter must continue doggedly in the pursuit of documenting every moment. At this point, one member of the group should suggest a séance. They should not drop the idea of the séance, no matter what happens.

Step 5: Appoint two or more members of the group to make audio recordings of everything that is said in the meetings.

Step 6: Do a read-through of everything your scriptwriter has written down so far. Everyone swap parts. Make sure to record it.

Step 7: Encourage your musicians to create a piece of sound art out of all of the audio recordings made so far.

Step 8: Decide that you can’t just have a piece of sound art playing with no action on stage. Experiment with different actions on stage. Don’t be afraid to get messy.

Step 9: Bond outside of a work setting. Put lipgloss on each other. Eat together. Go to the pub. Play dress-up.

Step 10: Check in with a mentor figure. Preferably one who will make you question your entire existence, and also the piece. Question your entire existence. And also the piece.

Step 11: Have a breakdown.

Step 12: Strip it back. Start again. Get it right. Make a list of everything you did as a group. Remember, reminisce, relive, ritualise.