there’s darkness clouding your light

weighing down your wings and staunching your flight

but you’re not an angel.

I think it’s strange

that all the innocence you feign

disappears from your face as soon as everyone looks away.

they are caught by your sway

the way you play

with their minds.

bending words and painting lies like a creationist

and when they see the real you

the facade you wear will be missed

but not the essence of yourself.

you are failing.

it’s time to pick up a day job

I can see that you’re a flake

I wonder just how long it will take

until that pretty face of yours has a break.

Damsel in distress,

I mask my intelligence

lest my excess

scare you away.

Don’t shake your head

and laugh at the absurdity

for it happened to me with the last one,

and the one before that,

and the one before that,

and the applause before the clap,

every incessant clap

in honour of the show I display

and the role that I play

lest you know the truth

in all its brutality,

unkind reality.

The scorching heat

of humid summers

within the shudder

that precedes every

creeping cry of pleasure

before you crawl into my ears,

paint your fingers across my brain

and whisper, “You are beautiful.”

We both know you are singing to the facade of emptiness in simplicity that you see, the quivering lip before the tears roll down my cheeks.

I told you that it is joy, you are foolish enough to believe.

Must we live in anticipation of an inevitable implosion for you to see that I am not the damsel trapped in a forlorn cage?

I am the distress and I can cause pain.

a huddled star in the middle of  that risingfalling chest, blooming.  there’s fault lines and earthquakes, laughter makes tears makes floods. they call these things natural disasters

acts of god, they call it. and i see the  seams of creation inside the laugh lines, the creased corners of your eyes, and the tears are the waters which the earth was brought forth.  life.

an act of god, behold. for it is good. 

Sometimes you invade my thoughts.

When I’m content, when everything is quiet, when there’s nothing that needs to be done-

There you are.

I wish you weren’t.

I want to be rid of you.

the floods were heavy and the water was high the day that you were the only one to hear my cry you were the only one to ever try to get me to say goodbye to her

she was what was drowning me all her toxic ideas surrounding me and you knew i couldn't swim.

you were the one who saved me from the pain even though you had tried before in vain you didn't give up on me.

you brought me to land and taught me how to stand again.

you taught me how love was supposed to feel. you made me feel something real.

i love you.