#amkhilb

"Ah, right, I did notice the butterfly. It's pretty." The doctor smiled when I nodded seriously. It was the prettiest mark on my body so I was ready to cry if it was ruined, but the doctor said, "You came in quickly so as long as you take care of your injury properly, the scarring should be minimal. Your noona's mark will look just fine."

I sighed with deep relief and sat back as Noona spoke to the doctor about wound care. Thank goodness. The injury would heal but Noona's mark… If anything had happened to it… No, I would be very careful.

Soon, Noona and I left the hospital. At this hour Mom and Dad might have already left for the night but just to be safe, Noona took me to a late-night cafe. She quizzed me on what the doctor said earlier to make sure I had been listening—like I wouldn't when taking care of her mark was so important—and an hour later we headed home.

Mom and Dad's car was gone, so we entered with less hesitance than usual. Of course it was still a messinside, they wouldn't have bothered to clean up after themselves. Noona started to move things back to where they should be and shooed me away when I tried to help. "You'll pull the stitches if you move around too much," she scolded, herding me to our room without touching my back. "How did you already forget what I quizzed you on earlier? Just rest, it'll only take me a few minutes."

I sulked but obediently went inside, and once Noona had cleaned up and come back, we went to sleep.

In the morning Noona checked my back. Everything looked fine and she reminded me again to be careful, to which I nodded dutifully.

Just as she was telling me that I could put my shirt back on, she paused.

"Noona?" I said, puzzled.

Her hand gently brushed the back of my neck, shifting a lock of hair. Then Noona said, "You have another soulmark."

"What?!"

"You really love your members a lot."

Noona's statement, simple and decisive and filled with warm amusement, rang in my ears as I made my way back to the dorm.

Soulmarks were a representation of your soulmate. When they first appeared they were colorless; only after a "true moment of connection" would soulmarks on each end be filled with color and you would officially be considered Bonded.

Like most idols, spArk covered their soulmarks, so I didn't know anything until I saw without the cosmetics: Lee Cheonghyeon's jellyfish, Jeong Seongbin's torch, Park Joowoo's orchid, Kang Kiyeon's candied apple, Choi Jeho's anatomic heart.

And my redwood tree, climbing up each of their spines, just as it climbed Noona's.

It seemed like the System's idea of a sick joke. I refused to think about it—then Kiyeon yelled at me, we made up, we Bonded, and it couldn't be stopped.

My Bond with Noona, before, had always been quiet. She grew upset when I cut her away from my feelings entirely, but I tried not to bother her in general. Bonding with spArk, even just with Kang Kiyeon at first, had been overwhelming by comparison. Eventually I grew used to the casual ebb and flow of emotions that weren't my own. When I left, sealing my end from theirs as best I could, I told myself I was simply returning everything to its natural state.

Between my shoulder blades, Noona's butterfly—beautiful and purple again despite the ugly scar cutting through it—informed me of her continued happiness long after we parted ways. I felt, also, Lee Cheonghyeon's loud joy echoed by Park Joowoo's quiet amusement, Jeong Seongbin's playful annoyance, Kang Kiyeon's exasperation and Choi Jeho's fondness.

And I heard it too as I opened the door to spArk's bustling voices, which quieted as soon as I called, "I'm back!"

"Welcome back!"

"How was your noona?"

"Cheonghyeon did you just step on Jeho hyung?"

"He's fine!"

"Noona's great," I told Joowoo, ignoring Jeho on the floor looking like he was trying to become the first ever person to transport their soul to another galaxy. "She asked about you guys." That got everyone's attention. Kiyeon helped Jeho off the floor, both of them watching me too closely to seem natural.

"What'd she say?" Seongbin asked, failing to not sound too curious.

I smiled, and told them.

"Yeah Noona, they're like family. Um, not that you're not too, of course!"

Noona laughed and ruffled my hair. I resisted the urge to slap her away, thinking about what terror I would invoke if I went outside with ruined hair, and she laughed harder at whatever she saw on my face. "I know. I love you too, my little brother." All thoughts of my appearance fled, my cheeks burning. "But I bet you can't wait to go home now."

"I like being with you," I told her, "and Mother and Father, too."

"And you'll always have a home here," she said, affection flowing through the Bond. "It's different though, right? You've known them longer than me."

I couldn't tell her that I'd known her all my life. And truthfully, I didn't know this her—my Noona whose name was Yeo Hana, whose girlfriend was her colleague and my fan, whose parents would adopt a baby girl and raise her with love and seek to know her little brother too. It was a delight to get to know her, though, without debt or duty or fear binding us together.

Just a butterfly and a tree.

Noona would always be my home, my first home. But.

When Lee Cheonghyeon's eyes snapped open, Kang Kiyeon felt that he was looking into a mirror. He was all too familiar with the expression of someone who just woke up from that particular nightmare.

Although, this time, they would not be able to find the subject somewhere in the dorm to calm their racing hearts.

"Lee Cheonghyeon," Kiyeon said softly, sending as much comfort through their Bond as he could. Cheonghyeon looked back at him, quick mind registering reality and finding it no better than where he'd just been. Kang Kiyeon reached forward to lightly trace the green candied apple on Cheonghyeon's left ankle, the feedback making them both shudder.

It helped though, and Lee Cheonghyeon buried his face in his knees as his breathing slowed.

Kim Iwol had left. Agreeing to wait for him was not enough to assuage the fear that it wouldn't amount to anything.

Unfortunately this instability wasn't unfamiliar to Kiyeon either, and he thought he was comparatively more stable than some of the others. Maybe it was a side effect of having been the first, to Bond with him, to demand that he reach back. It was so strange back then, being Bonded to Cheonghyeon whose embrace he could feel even across the city and then to Kim Iwol who coiled up as though to touch their connection would be some grave sin. Even though Cheonghyeon Bonded with Iwol not long after, he didn't think anyone else really understood just how cold Iwol used to be.

And like Lee Cheonghyeon now, Kang Kiyeon had dreamt on and off about Kim Iwol's disappearance before. Sometimes in his dreams, he could follow his own mark, the candied apple of his soul, and reach him; most of the time, they always just missed him.

Kang Kiyeon scooted closer on the bed and removed his hand, making Cheonghyeon flinch before he realized Kiyeon was just moving to hug him. He could still feel Cheonghyeon's distress through the Bond; in different directions, the others started to wake too. Park Joowoo and Jeong Seongbin sending waves of sleepy comfort and affection, and Choi Jeho somehow managing to imitate the motion of awkwardly patting someone on the back, which made Lee Cheonghyeon chuckle weakly when he registered it.

And then, distantly, so quiet it could have been imagined if not for how they both tensed at the same time, a murmur of concern.

"…Iwol hyung is the worst," Lee Cheonghyeon sniffed.

"Yeah," Kang Kiyeon responded. A phantom of a tickle crawled up his spine.