We are Hunters, voices strong. Slaying demons with our song. Save the world and make it right. When darkness finally meets the light. 

Rumi’s darkness had met light and instead of being bathed in the shadows she’d feared her whole life, she’d been met with fractals of light. Mira. Zoey. They were just as broken as Rumi, in their own ways, but their broken pieces fit together like a puzzle, the fractures filled with gold. Not seamless, not perfect, but real and whole and beautiful nevertheless. It was something like peace, even if they weren’t strong enough on their own. 

Then Jinu sacrificed himself and Rumi shattered all over again. Not physically, not a complete collapse, but the edges of her freshly mended heart chipped away, cracks in the same pattern as the likes that decorated Jinu’s skin. Still, his sacrifice gave them the advantage they needed to create a new Honmoon and seal Gwi-Ma away again. The magical lines aren’t gold, but they are strong and true and Rumi knows, deep in her soul, that they’ll keep the demons at bay. 

The endless night turns to day and their work isn’t quite done yet. The demons had been defeated but now HUNTR/X had the much more dangerous issue of a possible PR scandal. Bobby handled it beautifully, as he always does, and their fans are able to accept that battle for the world as very elaborate special effects. Rumi’s patterns are not quite as vibrant to the naked human eye, but they are visible and it doesn't take long for fans to notice them. The tattoo excuse is flimsy but it’s not like they can explain what the patterns actually mean. Their fans, as adoring and trusting as always, praise Rumi’s new look and, after hours of signing autographs, taking pictures, and dodging questions about the Saja Boys, HUNTR/X is finally able to go home. 

Rumi, exhausted from the physical and emotional toll of the day, stumbles as they leave, only to be caught by Mira’s strong hands on her shoulders. She flinches away from the touch without meaning to, and though a brief look of hurt crosses Mira’s features, she doesn’t let go. Zoey comes up to Rumi’s other side and takes her hand. 

“Sorry,” Rumi says, unable to look either of them in the eye. “I just -” 

“It’s okay.” Mira replies, squeezing Rumi’s shoulders lightly. The patterns are warm beneath her palms. “Let’s go home. The couch is calling my name.” 

“Couch! Couch! Couch! Couch!” Zoey cheers, pulling Rumi along by the hand. Rumi laughs as she follows, her overwhelming desire to sleep for at least a day alleviated by the warmth of Zoey’s hand in hers and the steady pressure of Mira’s hands on her shoulders. 

Half an hour later, the three of them are piled on the couch in their living room, a mountain of food piled high on the coffee table in front of them, and thoughts of everything except getting some well-deserved rest pushed far from their minds. It feels deliberate when Mira and Zoey pull Rumi down to sit between them, but Rumi doesn’t have the presence of mind to think about it. She eats her weight in noodles and snacks, not really paying attention to anything but how cold the apartment is. She’s traded her normal hoodie for a tanktop and she’s surprisingly cold as a result. Rumi doesn’t mention it to the others, who are too busy competing to see who can put the most food away while some random show plays on the television mounted on the wall in front of them, but eventually the mountain has become more of a hill and the three of them are curled on the couch. 

Zoey curls up with her head resting on the arm of the couch, her favorite fluffy blanket wrapped around her and her feet stretched to rest across Rumi’s lap. Her eyes are big and bright as she focuses on the television. Mira and Rumi had let her pick what they watched now that they were done eating and she had picked one of her favorite movies from growing up in America. Rumi was still sitting near the middle of the couch, though she’d moved over slightly to allow Zoey the room to stretch out. She’s looking at the screen without really taking anything in, replaying the events of the day before in her mind over and over again, until a soft touch brought her out of her thoughts. 

It’s Mira, who had unearthed a second blanket and had thrown it over Rumi. She moves a bit closer on the couch, wrapping her arm around Rumi’s shoulders and rubbing her hand along the upper section of Rumi’s arms. 

“You looked cold.” Mira says when Rumi gives her a questioning glance. 

“I’m not used to wearing short sleeves.” Rumi manages a half smile with the words. Mira hums softly and inches closer. Her voice drops a little lower. 

“I won’t ask if you’re okay, because that’s a dumb question.” Mira says. Rumi huffs a laugh. “But I will ask if there’s anything I can do? Anything you need?” 

Rumi hesitates, opening and closing her mouth a few times before she finally shakes her head. She doesn’t know if she’s really processed everything that’s happened in the past two weeks but she knows that she’d spent hours feeling lost and alone and that was the scariest part of it all. 

“Maybe just - stay. With me.” Rumi shifts closer, lets her head fall onto a slim but strong shoulder. “I really don’t want to be alone right now.” 

“We’re not going anywhere.” Mira squeezed her shoulder again. “I won't leave you. I promise.” 

Rumi nodded, sinking into the warmth of Mira at her side. She freed one of her hands from beneath the blanket, resting her palm on Zoey’s calf in her lap, and finally let go of the tension building in her body. Her muscles relaxed, Mira shifted her to rest more securely against her side, and Rumi found her eyelids drooping further down with each passing second. She was asleep before the movie finished its first act, safe and warm between her friends. 

TWO

The second time Rumi falls asleep on Mira is an accident. They’re in the studio again, working on their new album. Technically, HUNTR/X is on hiatus at the moment. They’d earned their three months off with blood, sweat, and tears, but none of them were able to switch off completely. They hadn’t performed since the failed Idols, but they’d made a few public appearances. Never planned, never coordinated, but enough to keep both them and their fans satisfied for the moment. One fan's hope for new music had spurred the trio into action, lyrics and beats flowing from their lips like they used to. It’s easy, simple, and free. 

They lose track of time easily when they’re tucked away between the walls of their home studio. They’d made the executive decision early in their career to ban their cellphones from the room in the name of limiting distractions, which had the predictable effect of also ensuring that they were basically unreachable while they were recording. Celine would be able to get through to them sometimes, and Bobby would let himself into their condo if they took longer than a few hours to respond but aside from those two, no one could find them. It was exactly what they needed to get their music made. 

They’d worked out a system for their music years ago. They’d start with the lyrics, getting a chorus or a bridge or a verse and then finding a beat that matched it. Once they had a base, it was time to explore it, roundtable style. They’d work together to find the words and the chords, shouting suggestions until they had something usable. Then, once they had a song rather than an idea, they’d split to their own talents. Zoey would refine the lyrics, Mira would take over finalizing the music and overall style of the song, and Rumi would work out the harmonies and line distribution. This had been Celine’s job back when they started, their mentor often favoring Rumi ahead of the others, but Rumi did her best to make it even. She’d never wanted to be a solo act and Zoey and Mira both deserved their time in the spotlight. 

They had finished one song and were starting on another when the lack of sleep Rumi had been getting started catching up to her. She hadn’t been sleeping well since they created the Honmoon, her dreams interrupted by visions of hellfire, golden demon eyes, and anguished cries of the people she held dear. She saw Jinu’s last moments over and over again, but the smile he’d had the day of was replaced by a pain filled grimace. The cheers of the HUNTR/X fans were drowned out by screams. The glow of the Hunters weapons that Mira and Zoey wielded were blinding as they plunged deep into Rumi’s stomach. 

Rumi would wake up, sweaty, pale, crying, with nothing but the glow of her patterns and the soft fur of Derpy the tiger for comfort. She could only be thankful that she hadn’t been crying out in her sleep. She didn’t want to make Mira or Zoey lose sleep either. The nights leave Rumi with heavy circles beneath her eyes, covered with makeup, and a miserable lack of energy. 

Now, sitting in their studio with Zoey mumbling lyrics to a new song while she scribbles away in her journal and Mira sitting close at her side, absently strumming on a guitar, Rumi can feel her limbs growing heavy with sleep. She doesn’t remember what she’s supposed to be doing in preparation for their next song and she doesn’t have her phone to distract, so it’s only a matter of time until she begins to lean to the side. Her head finds the back of Mira’s shoulder, her eyes falling closed at the same time that her breathing slows and deepens. 

“Oh.” Zoey squeaks when she turns with an idea, only to see their leader asleep on Mira’s shoulders. “Should we take a break?” 

“Just let her sleep.” Mira responds. She glances at the lavender hair on her shoulder. Her lip quirks into a small smile. “She clearly needs it.” 

Zoey agrees, flipping to a new page, but there’s something about her smile that makes Mira narrow her eyes at her. 

“Are you ever going to -” 

“No.” Mira interrupts, freezing in place when her unintentionally loud voice makes Rumi shift in her sleep. Rumi stirs slightly, mumbles something that neither of them catch, and then settles again. “She’s got enough on her plate already.” 

Rumi, awake enough to know that Mira is speaking but not enough to track her words, moves closer, wrapping her arm around Mira’s middle in an attempt to get more comfortable leaning against her. She doesn’t feel the way Mira’s breath hitches at the contact or the knowing smirk in Zoey’s eyes. A beat passes and the other two members of their trio turn back to their tasks, Rumi’s soft snores grounding them both in the moment. 

THREE

The lights are low, the covers drawn over the windows as the adrenaline fades from the trio of superstars soaring through the sky in the aftermath of their first comeback concert. The performance had been a raving success, from the songs to the choreography to the harmony of the HUNTR/X on stage. They moved around one another with grace, trading smiles and even a few quick jokes as they pass one another. Their smiles are genuine, their voices unwavering. Rumi’s patterns seem to shine beneath the stage lights, mesmerizing the crowd. Even Mira seems momentarily distracted by the blue-purple-pink lines that slice across Rumi’s skin when they have a few moments backstage for a costume change. 

The fans are screaming for an encore at the end and the trio pulls out a stunning performance of ‘How It’s Done’ to end the evening, leaving them sweaty and panting as the lights fade and the crowd roars. The descending platform that guides them to the space beneath the stage moves them out of sight, where they are quickly ushered into their dressing rooms to change into comfortable clothes for travelling. 

An hour later, the HUNTR/X jet is flying high, and the girls are settling in for a few more hours of travel before they’ll get to the hotel in the next city. Their comeback tour isn’t a massive one, only a handful of stop compared to their last one, but after three months of down time, they’ve sort of fallen out of the rhythm of it. Rumi doesn’t mean to fall asleep before she’s even done eating her post-concert snack. She doesn’t even realize she’s fallen asleep at all until she’s gently woken up. 

“What’s ha-” 

“Nothing, nothing, we’re not there yet.” Mira says. It’s her hands on Rumi’s shoulders that had woken her up. Rumi blinks at her in sleepy confusion. Mira half-smiles at her, eyes soft in the dim lighting of the plane. “You were sleeping with your head hanging weirdly. Your neck is gonna hurt like a bitch if you keep that up.” 

Which, yeah, Rumi can already feel the crick in her neck from the awkward sleeping position and she’s vaguely aware that she’d been holding chopsticks in her right hand when she’d fallen asleep, but those are gone now. A sleepy glance to the side reveals the chopsticks and the noodles she’d been eating had been set in the cupholder for her. Rumi looks back at Mira and makes a soft noise, almost a laugh, almost a huff, that manages to communicate her understanding and appreciation. 

Mira smiles and it’s different than her normal smile. Softer, somehow. Rumi finds herself smiling back before she stretches out her neck and yawns so wide it makes her eyes close. Mira is sitting beside her when Rumi’s eyes open again, her phone in hand. Rumi is still just sleepy enough to not hesitate in leaning her head against Mira’s shoulder. Mira accepts the weight of Rumi against her with a quick shift of her weight, her own head tilting to rest against Rumi’s. 

Rumi watches over Mira’s shoulder as she scrolls through various social media feeds, occasionally popping in to comment or react to their fans showing them all the love after their concert. She threads her arm around Mira’s at one point to double-tap a post and then leaves her hand there, resting on Mira’s arm. Her eyes are drooping again when she feels Zoey join them on the large seat. Zoey lays her head in Rumi’s lap, eyes locked on her own phone. Rumi’s free hand comes to rest gently on top of Zoey’s head and then she’s asleep again. 

“You know she-” 

“Shut up, Zoey.” 

Rumi is woken up again as the plane is coming in for a landing, Bobby cheerfully announcing that there’s a crowd of fans waiting to greet them despite the late hour. The trio of pop stars rallies to the occasion, leaving their jet with warm smiles and waves to the crowd, but they don’t linger for too long. Rumi ushers Zoey along, the youngest member of their group also having taken a catnap on the plane and as such is slightly less reactive than normal, and Mira follows behind them like a guard. They pile into the SUV waiting for them, Rumi and Zoey both drifting in and out sleep as they make the short drive to their hotel. Mira, the only one other than Bobby who is fully awake, gets them into the elevator and then into their room. 

Zoey collapses into bed without prompt, and Rumi is awake enough to chuckle softly as the younger girl wraps herself in the blankets. Mira huffs, a sound that communicates amusement, annoyance, and fondness all at once as she plucks Zoey’s phone from her hands and sets it to charge. When Mira steps into the bathroom, Rumi shakes herself awake enough to pull their suitcases into the room, set their alarms for the morning, and lock up the hotel room before she changes out of her travel clothes. She’s just pulling down the blankets on the second bed when Mira returns to the room proper, also changed for bed. Rumi settles beneath the blankets and watches Mira look between the beds. 

“There’s no way I’m getting even an inch of that blanket.” Mira says, looking at the blanket burrito that Zoey had made around her. Rumi laughs softly. 

“Probably not.” She agrees. Mira shoots her a glare that only makes Rumi laugh more. She gestures to the open other side of the second bed. “Just share with me.” 

“Oh.” Mira pauses and for a minute, Rumi isn’t sure why she would hesitate at the idea of sharing a bed. Rumi’s been making a habit of falling asleep against her shoulder everywhere else. Why would a bed be different? But then, Rumi remembers that they’ve never done that. Before her patterns were exposed, Rumi wouldn’t have offered to share her bed. She wouldn’t even be in the room with them, too scared that they’d discover her secret and isolating herself in an attempt to avoid it. 

“I mean, if you want. I-I-I don’t mean that you have to sleep with m- in the same bed as me.” Rumi feels a flush rising up her face. She’s never been particularly tongue tied or nervous, at least not around Mira, and she doesn’t have the energy to analyze why she is in that moment. She just knows that she feels safe when Mira is beside her and for the past few months, the only time she hasn’t had nightmares is when she fell asleep beside Mira. 

“Don’t have a conniption, Rumi.” Mira says. There’s a physical shift in her that Rumi can tell is a manifestation of the inner walls Mira has being made stronger, though Rumi can’t fathom why Mira would need to build up her walls here, in their hotel room with Zoey asleep and Rumi bleary eyed and half-asleep herself. “If you wanted to sleep with me, all you had to do was ask.” 

Rumi groans and throws herself back onto the pillows behind her. Mira is almost cackling as she rounds the bed and crawls in beside her. Rumi finds herself laughing along, turning on her side to watch Mira settle with hazy, half-amused eyes. She waits until Mira is settled before she slides over, placing her head in the crook of Mira’s neck. She feels Mira tense and then relax and has just enough presence of mind to check in. 

“This okay?” Her voice is muffled by the sleep creeping in. She feels Mira’s arm wrap around her, hold her closer. 

“Yeah.” Mira says. She waits until Rumi is asleep before she speaks again. “It’s everything I’ve ever wanted.” 

FOUR

They’re three weeks into their tour when it happens again, but Rumi can admit that it’s not exactly an accident anymore. There’s comfort and safety when she’s near Mira, when Rumi’s able to let go of the pressure of being their leader, both on stage and off, and allowed to just be for a moment. To breathe. Mira never complains when Rumi inevitably ends up lounging against her, or when Zoey joins them and they become a pile of tangled limbs and hair that gets everywhere. She’s tense at times, her spine straightening like she feels like she has to stand taller whenever Rumi leans on her, but she never admits that anything is wrong when Rumi checks in. 

It’s the second half of their short comeback tour and Rumi can feel the tiredness creeping in more and more. Touring is incredible and exciting and something that Rumi will never take for granted, but it’s also a gruelling, demanding series of events with very little downtime. Between travel, rehearsals, actual performances, plus interactions with VIP fans and promotional duties, tours are mentally, physically, and emotionally draining. The Honmoon is still holding strong and they haven’t had to justify getting a new plane because theirs was hijacked by demons or sliced in half, but that’s the only thing that keeps the tour from transitioning from draining to exhausting. 

They’re on a bus instead of a plane. It’s midday and the small space is bustling with activity. They’ll go straight into a sound check when they get to the venue, an unfortunate result of the interview they’d done first thing that morning, so they spend part of the drive refreshing the setlist and their minds for the performance to come. They aren’t lacking in songs to choose from, with a five year discography to choose from, and they’d silently dismissed ‘Takedown’ from ever being performed live again. They didn’t want to remind their fans of the very public fight the song had been last time. They didn’t know that demons had been masquerading as Mira and Zoey. 

Bobby is explaining their rather tight schedule for the next few days when it starts to be too much for Rumi. She’s already fighting off a lack of sleep induced headache - she’d never travelled well on buses - and knowing that it’s going to be more of the same for the next few days isn’t reassuring her. She listens just enough to offer an affirmative sound when Bobby asks for one and then collapses back against the couch when he moves away to speak with the makeup artist on board. 

“Hey, you okay, Rumi?” Zoey asks her softly. Rumi nods and offers the girl a smile. 

“I’m fine. Just a headache.” She replies, shrugging sheepishly. “I’ve never slept well on these things.” 

Both Mira and Zoey blink in surprise. It’s something that they should have known well before now, Rumi knows. This is hardly the first time that they’d ridden on a bus for multiple days in a row. They’ve been doing this for five years. This shouldn’t be new information to them but it is and Rumi can’t help but feel guilty about that. Her shoulders drop in an attempt to make herself smaller. 

“Oh, well,” Zoey shares a look with Mira that feels significant. Rumi can’t decipher it. The two of them reach some kind of conclusion though as Mira leans back against the cushions with an expectant look towards Rumi and Zoey darts away from them, returning a moment later with two small, disposable cups in her hands. “Here, take these.” 

Rumi does so robotically, already leaning towards Mira’s side like a magnet is pulling her there. Her confusion must be visible on her face or in her body language as after she’s swallowed the two pills and handed both cups back to Zoey, Mira speaks up. 

“We have enough time for you to take a nap.” Mira explains, directing Rumi’s head to her shoulder like it belongs there. Like there’s nowhere else that she expects Rumi to have her nap other than pressed against her side. 

“Don’t we have things to do before we get there?” Rumi asks, but she’s already settling into place, wrapping her arm around Mira’s waist and curling her feet up on the couch. Her toes end up tucked beneath Zoey’s thigh when she joins them again. 

“Nothing that’s more important than you getting some rest.” Mira answers. 

“We’ve been doing this for years. They barely need us to run any of the pre-show stuff.” Zoey agrees. She has her switch in her hands now and Rumi can hear the soft sounds of one of her usual, mindless games coming up. One that she plays to pass the time rather than because of a good story or challenge. 

“We’ve been on the road for almost a month.” Mira’s hand brushes through Rumi’s hair, just beside her signature braid. “We can take a break for a few hours.” 

Any protest that Rumi wants to make dies when Mira’s hand continues to play with her hair, gently so she doesn’t mess up her hair, but enough that her nails scratch against Rumi’s scalp in just the right way. Instead, Rumi sighs, presses closer to Mira’s side, and lets the sleep that she’s been lacking take over her. 

“She certainly looks comfortable there.” Zoey remarks once she’s sure that Rumi is asleep. Mira is still absently playing with Rumi’s hair, a faraway look on her face. “So do you.” 

“Zoey.” 

“Mira.” Zoey matches her tone. “C’mon, Mira. You’re going to have to tell her eventually.” 

“There’s no rule that says that.” Mira can’t look her in the eyes. Zoey rolls her eyes and turns back to her game. 

“When are you going to admit to yourself that those walls you’ve built up are pointless? She’s already on the other side of them and you know it.” 

Mira doesn’t respond. 

A few hours later, Rumi wakes up in almost the same position that she fell asleep in. She’s still curled against Mira, but Zoey has moved further down the bus to get her makeup done. The open countryside outside has been replaced with the familiar sights of an upcoming city, dense traffic included. Rumi yawns and rubs her eyes but she doesn’t pull away from Mira yet. 

“Have a nice nap?” Mira asks. Rumi nods.

“Thanks for being my pillow.” Rumi says as she pulls away. Mira turns to her with a smile, the features of her face highlighted with her usual stage makeup. Rumi wonders if Mira had stayed there, letting Rumi sleep on her shoulder, while her makeup was done instead of risking waking her up by moving. The thought makes her feel warm inside in a way that has been growing increasingly familiar over the past few months. 

“Anytime.” Mira promises. Rumi knows she means it. 

“Oh, good, Rumi. You’re awake.” Bobby says as he comes up. “You’re up next for makeup. We’re just under an hour out from the venue. I’ll have your pre-concert carb load waiting in your dressing room.” 

“Thanks Bobby.” Rumi stands, and stretches. The bus sways slightly and Rumi feels Mira’s hand on the small of her back to steady her. 

“No problem, girls. You know I’m here for anything you need.” Bobby smiles at them. “Oh, and you’re already trending. Those HUNTR/X pre and post concert cuddle pics are doing numbers online.” 

Rumi raises an eyebrow as Bobby is distracted scrolling, sharing a look with Mira. Now that she’s certain Rumi is steady on her feet - not that she was ever unsteady, but Mira had reached out before she thought about it - Mira’s hand drops back to the couch cushions and she gestures towards the makeup chair with her chin. 

“Go make your face even prettier than it already is.” 

As her makeup is applied, Rumi pulls out her phone and finds the trending pictures. As Bobby said, the pictures are of the three members of HUNTR/X resting together. The first is from their first night on tour, with Mira resting her head against Rumi’s, who is curled against her side. Rumi’s other hand is resting gently in Zoey’s hair, the youngest girl resting with her head in Rumi’s lap. All three of them appear to be asleep in the picture. The second was one that had been taken only a few hours ago. Rumi is the only one asleep in that picture, but Mira and Zoey are both the picture of relaxed grace on either side of her. 

In both photos, Rumi can’t help but notice how peaceful she looks. All the tension in her body is gone. She’s almost smiling in her sleep, an easy, unconscious joy that brings a smile to her face now as she looks at them. She saves both photos to her personal HUNTR/X album on her phone. 

FIVE

The tour ends with a great deal of fanfare and more than a few tears - from fans and stars alike - but it does come to an end. Their condo in HUNTR/X tower is warm and inviting when they get home, the couch calling to them with an offer of unmatched relaxation. Rumi is unsurprised to find both Derpy and Sussie in her bedroom. They’d both been frequent visitors while the tour had been going on, but they’d stayed out of sight for the most part. Rumi is happy to see them both, laughing slightly as they both jump up to greet her and the motion makes Sussie’s hat almost come off. 

Rumi takes a long shower, washing away the layers of sweat and makeup and the pressure of an ever present audience so that when she finally emerges, fresh faced and hair down, she feels more like Rumi again. She dresses in shorts and a cropped tank, drying her hair until it’s no longer dripping before she steps back into her bedroom. Derpy and Sussie follow her out when she heads towards the kitchen, greeted by Zoey’s excited squeals when they enter the room. 

The trio spends their dinner time talking animatedly about the tour, scrolling through the videos and pictures and comments posted online with joy. They snap a picture to share with their fans before Rumi mutes her phone for the night. It’s not particularly late, but Rumi can feel sleep calling her name already so it’s not long after dinner that she bids the other two a good night and retreats back to her bedroom. 

She’s been too busy with the tour for the nightmares to creep in, but despite the exhaustion she feels, all the bad dreams she’d been subconsciously holding back when sharing space with Mira and Zoey come rushing in. But they’ve changed. 

There’s still hellfire. There’s still the voice saying that Rumi could never be enough, that she doesn’t belong because she’s an abomination. There’s cries of pain and outrage. There’s Rumi’s voice being taken over by something dark, something angry. But there’s also Zoey turning her back on Rumi, ignoring any attempt Rumi makes to get her attention. There’s the voice of Jinu in her ear, a whisper full of disdain and hate. 

‘You honor my sacrifice by loving her?’ 

There’s a flash of familiar pink hair. The glow of Mira’s spear as she spins it in her hands. The blade comes to a stop, pointing at Rumi’s chest. Rumi can see her reflection in the metal of the mystical blade, can see the way that the patterns on her skin have darkened and that her eye has turned yellow. When Rumi looks up at Mira, only now aware that she’s laying helpless on her back with Mira standing over her, she doesn’t see the lightness in her eyes that she’s become so accustomed to. There’s no warmth, no affection, not even the hint of her inner walls hiding her feelings. There is only hate and disgust. 

‘You think I could ever love you? Someone so tainted by the darkness, you willingly gave your heart to a monster?’ 

“Please.” Rumi begs. “Please, Mira. You promised you wouldn’t leave me.” She’s crying now. Mira’s blade presses into her chest hard enough to draw blood. Rumi gasps from the pain of it. 

‘You’re not you anymore, Rumi. You’re just a demon.’ 

“No, Mira. I’m still me. I am. I still care about you.” 

Mira’s smile is nothing but malice, the glow of the hellfire around them giving her an ethereal look. Even as her blade presses deeper into Rumi’s chest, Rumi can’t help but think that she's beautiful. 

‘Demons don’t have feelings.’ 

Mira steps away, leaving her staff buried in Rumi’s chest. She turns and walks without stopping. She doesn’t turn when Rumi calls her name. Gwi-ma’s laughter, dark and threatening, fills the space. Rumi is still crying Mira’s name when her body jolts forward. 

Her eyes snap open, a sob escaping her lips as she comes to the waking world. The light is on in her bedroom, casting shadows along her wall. Rumi can’t breathe against the pressure in her chest. 

“Rumi. Rumi! Rumi!” The voice breaks through her panic. It’s Mira. Rumi’s gaze finds her, eyes wide with worry and hair mused from sleep. She’s kneeling on the edge of Rumi’s bed, her hands resting on either of Rumi’s arms. “Rumi, breathe.” 

Rumi takes a deep, shuddering breath. She pulls away from Mira’s hands, still feeling the phantom weight of her spear in Rumi’s chest. She shuffles back and away, dodging the hands that reach for her until she’s on her feet. She needs air and space. The balcony door is pulled open and Rumi tumbles into the space outside her room. 

“Rumi, what’s wrong? Talk to me. Please.” Mira follows her out but she keeps her distance now, watching as Rumi struggles to get control of herself in the wake of her nightmare. “Rumi?” 

She doesn’t have the breath to answer yet. She just shakes her head, sliding to the ground with her back against the wall and her knees curled against her chest. She hears Mira copy her position with enough distance between them that Rumi doesn’t feel crowded. Derpy appears at her side and presses against her. 

“I’m here, Rumi.” Mira promises softly. “I’m not leaving.”

Slowly, Rumi’s breathing slows. Her limbs relax, the hands that she’d clenched into fists uncurl enough to tangel in Derpy’s fur. The phantom pressure in her chest dissipates slowly, growing lighter with each steady exhale. Mira sits in silent vigil until Rumi finally looks up at her. 

“Hey.” Mira says softly. The multicolor light of the Honmoon reflects in her eyes and Rumi can’t see anything but care in the hues she finds there. 

“Hey.” Rumi sighs the word. Her shoulders droop slightly. Mira scoots fractionally closer. 

“Must have been an awful nightmare.” Mira speaks softly, like she’s afraid Rumi will break if she raises her voice. “I’ve never heard you cry like that.” 

Rumi swallows thickly, only now aware of the soreness of her throat. 

“I’m sorry I woke you.” Rumi says instead of addressing the nightmare. Mira, of course, sees right through her flimsy attempt at changing the subject. 

“What happened? I thought the nightmares were gone. You didn’t have any when we were on tour.” Mira’s voice is still soft, but Rumi can hear the current of worry in her words. Rumi shrugs slightly in response. 

“I basically collapsed from exhaustion every night of the tour.” She says. She can’t look at Mira so she focuses her gaze on the skyline stretched before them. “And I wasn’t sleeping alone.” 

“Were you having nightmares before the tour?” Mira asked, again shuffling closer. She was near enough now that Rumi could feel her warmth even as she curled further into herself. Rumi nodded before setting her chin on her knee. 

“They weren’t as bad. More memories than anything else. Of that night. The performance. And when you and Zoey found me after…” 

“You have nightmares of me pointing my blade at you?” Mira’s voice has changed, something cracked and broken slipping between the words. It’s completely inappropriate, but Rumi wants to laugh at the question. She wished the nightmare had stopped at that. “Rumi, you know I’ll never do that again, don’t you?” 

The hum that Rumi responds with is noncommittal. She knows that she can trust Mira. Mira doesn’t say anything that she doesn’t mean, but the words are soured by the memory of her spear pressed into Rumi’s chest in her nightmare. 

“No, Rumi, I need you to believe that. I’ve never regretted anything more than the way I reacted that night.” Mira insists. She’s even closer now, close enough that it would take no effort at all for Rumi to turn and curl into her arms. She almost does it, too, drawn to the comfort of Mira’s embrace like a moth to a flame, but Mira’s words from the dream come back and halt her movements. 

‘You think I could ever love you?’ 

“You were scared and blindsided.” Rumi shrugs. “I don’t blame you for reacting the way you did.” It was what Rumi had always known would happen. 

“That doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt.” Mira says. Rumi doesn’t respond. Mira waits a moment and then presses on. “Is that what you dreamed about tonight?” 

“Yeah.” Rumi sighs. “That’s how it started anyway.” 

“How did it end?” 

“With your blade in my chest as you walked away.” Rumi doesn’t mean to say it, but she can’t hold it back, and Mira would see through any lie she tried to spin. Mira gasps. “After you told me that you could never love someone tainted by darkness. Especially after I fell for a demon.” 

“That’s - I can’t - I’m so sorry, Rumi.” Mira’s voice has changed again, filled with something deep and soulful. Rumi turns her head just enough to see Mira’s face clearly. There’s tears in her eyes and Rumi unwraps one of her arms from around her knees to wipe them away. 

“I know that it wasn’t you. I know that you never break your promises.” Rumi says. “It just felt real. Really real.” 

Her other hand rubs at her chest, where dream-Mira’s blade had cut into her skin. 

“I’m sorry.” Mira covers Rumi’s hand on her cheek with her own. “Is there anything I can do?” 

“You’re here.” Rumi feels the first flicker of a smile on her lips since she woke up. “That helps.” 

A moment passes. Rumi’s hand is still pressed to Mira’s cheek, gently caressing along her cheekbone. Her own tears have dried and Rumi feels her earlier exhaustion return to her. Mira must be able to see it sweep over her again because she rises to her feet and holds her hands out to help Rumi up as well. Once they’re both standing up, Mira pulls Rumi into a hug that finally dispels the lingering shadows in her chest. She can’t feel the phantom pressure anymore, or the sting of dream-Mira’s words. She can only feel Mira’s body pressed against her own, the warmth of her hands resting on either of Rumi’s hips, the steadiness of her breathing as she holds Rumi close. 

Rumi doesn’t have to ask Mira to stay. They climb back into Rumi’s bed as a unit. Mira reaches out to pull Rumi closer rather than waiting for Rumi to move on her own. They curl together now, not just a head on a shoulder and a half embrace but fully tangled together. Mira’s arm curls around Rumi’s back, her fingers stroke a soothing pattern down her spine. Rumi’s head finds its place in the crook of Mira’s neck and she drapes her arm over Mira’s abdomen. Their legs tangle together. She feels the soft pressure of Mira’s lips against her forehead. Derpy curls up at the foot of the bed, close enough that Rumi can feel his warmth too. 

When Rumi falls back asleep, her dreams are filled with quiet warmth and soft affection. And from somewhere far beyond her understanding she hears Jinu’s voice. 

‘Let yourself live the life you deserve. That will honor me more than anything else.’ 

+ONE

It’s a few weeks later when the first tear in the Honmoon appears. They’d known it would happen eventually. Rumi had never thought that they’d killed the demon overlord, only subdued him. As long as humans existed, Gwi-ma would hunger for their souls. 

They’re rehearsing for a local event when the rip appears. Bobby doesn’t even have time to question where they’re going before the HUNTR/X stars have seemingly disappeared into thin air. They fall into the familiar rhythm of battle, singing as they go. Rumi almost laughs when the familiar lyrics of ‘How It’s Done’ fall from their lips. Her blade is still imbued with Jinu’s soul, glowing brighter than usual and cutting through the demons easily. 

Rumi feels Mira and Zoey moving beside her, their movement as fluid as their choreography on stage and doubly as impressive. Mira catches her eye and winks. Rumi feels a blush climbing up her cheeks at the motion and she can tell that Mira sees it from the way she smirks. 

“Can you guys flirt when we’re not fighting demons?” Zoey complains, but there’s no heat in her words. 

“We’re not flirting.” Rumi fires back as she slices the head from the demon charging towards her. 

“Just like we haven’t been sleeping together.” Mira quips. Zoey cackles as she throws her knives out, taking out four demons in one fell swoop. Rumi turns to glare at Mira as she flips over her head and stabs through another demon. 

“Oh, careful, Mira, or you’ll be sleeping on the couch.” Zoey backflips away from a striking demon and slices across its throat. 

“I still have my own room.” Mira points out. Two demons rush towards her. She kicks one and knocks the other back with her spear. 

“I’ll send Derpy in there.” Rumi jokes, well aware that Mira and Derpy have a playful rivalry of Rumi’s attention going on. The tiger would absolutely block Mira from sleeping in her own bed if Rumi asked him to. He might even do it for fun. 

Mira’s response is cut off as the ground rumbles beneath their feet. The demons have retreated and reformed, a massive creature now attacking with a ferocious roar. 

“Fight now, banter later.” Rumi orders as Mira and Zoey step on either side of her. 

The demon looks like an amalgamation of a monkey and a lion, its head framed with a mane of fire and a sharp tail whipping back and forth menacingly. Its hind legs are bulky with muscle, the front ones slimmer but topped with viscous looking claws. It charges forward with a roar, front paws and tail whipping out. The hunters are forced to dodge, each of them moving in a different direction. Mira and Zoey dash to the sides while Rumi leaps up and over, slicing along the demon’s back as she flips over it. 

The fight that ensues is longer than it needs to be. This demon isn’t as mindless as the ones they normally fight. Despite its massive size, it’s surprisingly nimble. They have to get in close to get any meaningful hit, but the paws and tail make that a difficult task. Rumi flips over a swinging paw but doesn’t manage to make contact with her sword. 

“We need to distract it.” Rumi tells Mira and Zoey. Mira’s weapon has the most reach. If she aims it correctly, she can deal a killing blow from above while Rumi and Zoey distract the demon from below. The plan is quickly put into motion as Mira darts behind a column and then around, using a combination of flips and jumps to get into position. 

It takes three minutes of dodging, jumping, and making small strikes before Mira gets a good enough opening. The demon’s tail whips towards her as she launches herself towards it, the yelp of pain she releases drowned out by the demon’s furious roar. When the demon rears up on its hind legs, Rumi and Zoey both move to strike at its heart from the front. The demon fades from the overworld, the rip in the Honmoon sealing in its wake. Mira lands on her hands and knees, her weapon fading away as her hand reaches for her side. 

“Mira!” Rumi is at her side instantly, Zoey right behind her. Her hand rests against Mira’s back, eyes sweeping over her form in concern. 

“I’m okay.” Mira says, though her grimace leaves room for doubt. “Bastard got in a lucky shot.” 

“Let me see.” Rumi requests gently. Zoey helps Mira to stay steady as Rumi looks at the cut that slices across her stomach. 

The cut isn’t too deep, the blood already beginning to coagulate as a result of their Hunter abilities that enhance healing, but it is a long mark, beginning just above Mira’s left hip and slicing across her stomach to just below her ribs on the right side. It will heal, thankfully, but Rumi worries that it might leave a scar. 

“It’s not bad, just long.” Rumi says. “You’re not going to be doing any more rehearsals today.” 

“At least we have a few days until we have to perform.” Zoey offers comfortingly. Mira groans but lets both Zoey and Rumi help her to her feet. She drapes her arm over Rumi’s shoulders once she’s standing. “I’ll call Bobby.” 

Zoey steps away and presses her phone to her ear. Rumi wraps her arm around Mira’s waist and lets the taller girl lean against her, easily supporting her weight. 

“You’re not gonna make me sleep on the couch, right?” Mira asks. Rumi laughs. 

“Did you honestly think I would?” She asks with a raised brow. 

“Maybe, until you got cold.” Mira shrugs then winces. Rumi smoothes her thumb over Mira’s hip in a soothing motion. Rumi hums softly in reply, neither confirming nor denying Mira’s statement. Neither of them add anything else to the conversation, content to stand there together until Zoey makes her way back over to them. 

“Good news, we don’t even need an excuse for not finishing rehearsals today!” Zoey cheers. “That group that was doing the reunion performance needs extra time to get their act together, so we’re off the hook until tomorrow.” 

“That is great news.” Rumi agrees. 

They make their way back to their tower and pile into the elevator together, idly discussing new song ideas as they go. Zoey moves into the kitchen to get started on an early dinner and Rumi orders Mira to go shower so they can properly bandage the cut on her stomach. Once both tasks are done, she leaves Mira in control of the remote while she helps Zoey with dinner. 

After, when the food has been consumed and the mess from it cleaned up, Rumi and Zoey position themselves on either side of Mira on the couch. Zoey curls against the arm as she normally does, pressing her toes beneath Mira’s thigh. Rumi wraps a gentle arm around Mira’s waist and pulls her close, guiding her head to rest in the crook of Rumi’s neck. Mira hums softly as they settle. 

“That’s usually my job.” She says, tapping her finger against the hand curled over her hip. 

“It’s my turn to take care of you.” Rumi presses her nose into Mira’s hair and breathes her. She feels Mira smile against her neck and hears the rumble of a soft laugh. “What’s so funny?” 

“You made me sleep on the couch after all.” Mira jokes, giggling softly even as her eyes begin to fall closed. Zoey snorts from her place beside them. 

“Behave, or I’ll leave you here after the move is over.” Rumi threatens. Mira only laughs. 

“Nah, you’d never leave me.” She says, with all the confidence of a woman who believes every word she says. Rumi presses her smile to the crown of Mira’s head. 

“No,” she says softly. “I wouldn’t.” 

Mira falls asleep a few minutes into the movie. Rumi doesn’t know how she sleeps through the high speed chase and explosions scenes, but Mira’s breathing remains steady and calm, her body relaxed in Rumi’s embrace. Zoey watches them out of the corner of her eye, sneakily taking a picture of them curled together like puzzle pieces. 

“Not flirting, huh?” 

Lena woke up feeling as if that last image of Kara’s smile had been burned into her retinas. The dream, memory, ends in the same place it always does, the moment before the realization of what she had just witnessed sinks in. Lena wakes with soul crushing despair settling deep in her chest so that her breath in a new day is little more than a broken sob. It takes a few minutes for Lena to gather herself enough to climb out of bed and reach for her phone. The move is calculated. Lena knows that if she had reached for her phone first, she wouldn’t have gotten out of bed. 

Every other day, Lena had been able to push herself through it. She could almost pretend that everything was normal, until she caught herself trying to call Kara and invite her to lunch. Even after two weeks, Lena’s first instinct was still to call Kara. The hope that maybe the dream had been a nightmare rather than a memory and Kara would answer when she called had been all that kept Lena going for the past 14 days. 

The day of Kara’s funeral had pulled that hope to a crashing halt. 

There had been a service for Supergirl the day before. It felt like all of National City had been there, human and alien alike. All the heroes that Kara had worked with over the years were there, a few of them people that Lena had only met briefly before the wave of dark matter destroyed all of their worlds. The Flash had a few words to say. Cat Grant had barely held her tears in. Superman openly cried as he said goodbye to his last blood relative. Lena had watched it all with a blank expression, Alex’s hand in hers. 

Lena had made her way to Midvale on her own and was one of the last to arrive at Kara’s childhood home. Eliza had greeted her with a hug and a far too knowing look. Lena had slept in Kara’s bed and refused to cry until she was sure that no one would hear her. 

Now, Lena pulled on the dark outfit she had selected the night before and made her way downstairs. Alex and Eliza met her at the bottom of the stairs and led her to where Clark and Lois were standing with J’onn. Eliza pulled Lena into another hug while Lois looked as if she was the only one in the room who could understand Lena’s pain. Everyone was treating Lena like she was Kara’s widow and Lena wasn’t sure she would ever recover from that. 

She had Kara had never been together. They hadn’t gone on dates or celebrated anniversaries. They’d never even kissed and yet Lena still felt like a piece of her heart had been broken beyond repair. She wasn’t Kara’s widow but she was Kara’s someday and that was somehow worse. 

How could Lena mourn what she’d never had in the first place? 

Kara’s funeral had been short. She wouldn’t have wanted all of her friends and family to spend hours crying over her. Kara had been a ray of sunshine, a becon of joy. Although tears were shed, everyone wanted to follow Kara’s wishes so it soon turned to a memorial rather than a funeral. As everyone had been distracted by Alex’s story of the first time Kara saved her, Lena didn’t think anyone would notice when she stepped onto the back patio. She nearly jumped in surprise when a masculine voice called her name. 

“Sorry,” Clark said as he stepped up beside her. Lena hummed her acceptance of the apology but didn’t say a word. 

They stood together in silence for a few minutes. If it had been any other time, Lena might have made a joke about a Super and a Luthor but it didn’t feel right with her Super missing. Eventually, Lena can see Clark’s shoulders sag and knows that the silence is about to be broken. 

“She was always so much stronger than me.” Clark speaks in a low, haunted voice. “I’ll never be able to thank her for righting my worst wrong.” 

There’s a heavy set to his shoulders and a distant glint in his eyes that makes Lena feel foolish for forgetting where all this conflict had started. Lex had killed Kara, but it was Clark that turned Lex into a staunch believer in the superiority of man. It was Clark who faced Lex time and time again. CLark who wasn’t strong enough to deal the blow that would have ended all of this conflict. It was Clark’s weakness that had pushed Kara into that position, and Clark’s cowardice that cost Kara her life. 

The urge to hate Clark for his inaction is strong, so strong it makes Lena’s stomach clench and her hands tremble. It would be all too easy to blame Clark for losing Kara, but Lena knows that it wouldn’t be fair to him. There’s plenty of blame to go around but Clark doesn’t truthfully deserve any of it. Lex does. For targeting Kara and dealing the fatal blow, but most of them blame falls on Lena herself. For her own war against Supergirl, for the experiments that gave Lex his powers, for not being strong enough to defeat him on her own. 

Kara would still be with them if not for Lena’s failures. 

“But there is something I can do for her, if you’re willing to help me.” 

It takes a moment for Lena to realize that Clark’s statement had been a request. She looks at him, blinking in askance. 

“Follow me,” Clark, in a move that Lena would never have expected to come from him, gently took Lena’s hand into his own and guided her down the porch steps towards the beach. Agreeing to Clark’s request that she wait there for a moment, Lena tries to settle her nerves. When Clark returns, Lena knows that there is nothing she could have done to prepare herself. 

Clark touches down gently a few feet away from Lena and in the space between them hovers a sleek, grey pod. The black surface on the outside fades to clear and suddenly Lena can see Kara. 

She looks peaceful in death, Lena thinks, like she finally dropped all the weight she had been carrying for so long. 

“On Krypton, when a woman died,” Clark swallows roughly. “It was tradition for the oldest female member of the House to speak Rao’s blessing over them.” 

Clark meets Lena’s gaze evenly. 

“I know that would be Eliza here, or Alura if she had come, but I also know that Kara would have wanted it to be you.” 

“Clark,” Lena hesitated, “Kal, I don’t know.” 

“I know what you mean to her. Meant.” Even though they had been doing so all day, hearing Kara referred to in the past tense hurt deeply and Lena felt the tears welling for what must have been the thousandth time. 

“Okay,” Lena agreed with a shaky nod. Clark handed her a small piece of paper from his pocket and then turned his gaze to the pod containing Kara’s still form.” 

“Whenever you’re ready.” 

Lena was sure that she would never be ready to say goodbye to Kara but there was no sense in waiting. Voice thick with tears and barely above a whisper, Lena began to read. 

“You have been the sun of our lives. Our prayers will be the sun that lights your way on the journey home. We will remember you in every dawn and await the night we join you in the sky. Rao’s will be done.” 

They stood there for a moment with only the sound of the waves crashing against the beach breaking the still air. Then, with a heavy breath like he was steeling himself for the hardest moment of his life, Clark lifted the casket into the air with him. A moment later, Kara returned to the stars that had brought her home. 

Clark returned to the Danver’s household while Lena remained on the beach by herself. There was a fleeting feeling of Lena wishing she had something to hold on to, a memento of Kara’s. The feeling faded only to be replaced with a much stronger wish to simply have Kara there with her. The feeling was strong that for a moment, Lena felt the soft, familiar warmth of Kara’s hand in her own, their fingers resting together easily. As time stretched on, Lena let herself be lost in the phantom feeling of what could have been, until the sound of a car door closing shattered the dream and brought Lena crashing back to reality. 

A reality where Kara was gone. 

Suddenly, the beach felt just as stifling as the house had been. 

Realizing that her moment with the ghost of Kara’s memory was over, Lena turned to make her way back to the house. 

Only Kara’s closest friends remained at the house. Clark, Lois, and Lucy were sitting together on the couch, the two normally argumentative sisters silent in their grief. Barry and Iris were curled together in a chair, Barry staring blankly ahead as Iris watched him in concern. Caitlin and Cisco sat together on the floor in front of Barry and Iris, their shoulders pressed together. Ava sat in the other chair with Sara leaning against her legs, her fingers idly wrapping a strand of Sara’s hair around and around. The other Legends must have gone back to the Waverider. Alex and Eliza sat together on the loveseat and made room between them for Lena. 

It was odd, Lena decided as she took the seat provided for her, to be surrounded by so many heroic figures and not feel even the smallest amount of hope. The Kara shaped whole in the arrangement could not be ignored. No one said a word as Lena sat down and the silence was no less disturbing the longer it went on. 

“It doesn’t seem right,” Cisco broke the silence with a sad voice. “The most powerful person we know.” 

“The bravest and most caring, too,” Barry added just as softly. “She didn’t even ask for help.” 

“You were all busy,” Alex shrugged slightly but Lena could see the tension in her jaw. “You all had your own villains to face and lives to live. She wouldn’t have disrupted that.” 

“She wouldn’t put all of you in danger like that.” Lena’s voice was hoarse from disuse. Not counting her blessing of Kara at the beach, that was the longest sentence Lena had said in two weeks. 

“I did, with the Dominators and Crisis,” Barry’s expression shone with guilt. “She answered every time.” 

“She was like Oliver,” Sara said, leaning further into Ava as she spoke. “More of a hero than any of us will ever be.” 

“All these powers, even time travel, and we still can’t save everyone.” Iris sighed and dropped her head onto Barry’s shoulder. Barry pressed a kiss against his wife’s forehead. 

“We would if we could.” Barry said. “I’d go back in a second if we didn’t have to worry about another Flashpoint. An event like this is too big to go back and change.” 

“Flashpoint?” Lena asked curiously. Alex looked at her with the smallest bit of surprise and a hint of question in her eyes. 

“One of the first times I travelled back in time on purpose, to save my mom. I ended up changing everything,” Barry explained. 

With everyone reluctant to leave, it took little prodding to get Barry to continue elaborating. A conversation about the difficulty of preserving the timeline arose between the members of team Flash and the two remaining Legends in the room. Lena listened with half an ear but her mind was stuck on the comment that had started this conversation. 

It didn’t feel right without Kara in the room, not only in the sense that Lena personally felt as though she was missing an essential part of her being, but in the sense that something about all of this was fundamentally wrong. The only thing about Kara’s conflict with Lex was that Lex was gone. It doesn’t make sense for him to have taken Kara out with him, especially not without Kryptonite. Lena remembered the final blow in sharp detail. The beam that had exhausted Kara was golden, not green. 

A comment about the natural order of time caught Lena’s attention and she pondered the implications of it. The natural order of time ensured that everyone was at the correct time and place, whenever that happened to be in the linear timeline of their own lives. Barry and the Legends are able to move through time as long as they don’t disrupt the natural time. There were few rules for time travel, but the most important was that one could not be in the exact same place and time as they had been before. A person cannot physically be in one specific time and place more than once. 

Knowing that Jess would do as Lena requested, the CEO made her way into her office. As the door swung closed behind her, Lena was accosted by her memories. 

There isn’t a part of Lena’s office that doesn’t have a memory of Kara attached to it. Not the couch, where they had shared countless lunches and even a few dinners when Kara joined Lena for her nights working late in the office for no other reason than she wanted to keep Lena company. Many heartfelt conversations had happened on that couch and there had been more than one occasion where Lena was only a breath away from confessing her feelings to Kara only for someone to come in and interrupt them. The desk held similar memories but most of those were more oriented to the work that Lena and Kara would do together. Sometimes it was Kara interviewing Lena for an article, sometimes it was Lena using Kara as a sounding board as she worked through some issue with her latest projects, and sometimes it was both of them doing their own work as they shared Lena’s desk space. 

Standing just inside her office door, Lena let the memories wash over her. For a moment Lena considered reaching for her phone to call Kara and invited her to lunch. Then Lena remembered that she and Kara hadn’t even met yet in this time. It felt exceedingly weird to think that that person Lena loved most in any world was now no more than a stranger to her. 

Shaking her head to pull herself out of her memories, Lena continued on her journey to her desk. She put her purse, and thus the notebook contained therein, in the secured drawer of her desk before settling in to review the incident report. If all went as it had gone before, the next time Lena stepped into her office, it would be in the company of her favorite Kryptonian. With the reassurance that she was only hours away from seeing Kara again, alive and well, Lena left her office to begin her day in earnest. 

Dealing with the incident report and reassuring the technician that they would not be losing their position at L-Corp took up the majority of Lena’s morning. She missed the beginning of the coverage on the Venture launch but tuned in time to see the explosion. Just as she had done that morning, Lena couldn’t help but stare in awe as Kara, Supergirl, swooped in to save the day with the help of Superman. Lena knew intellectually that her mission to travel to the past was a success, she had ample proof of that all around her, but she wouldn’t truly believe that Kara was alright until she saw her in person. 

Which, if Lena remembered correctly, would happen in the next half hour. 

Lena lingered in Lab C for long enough to ensure that the incident report was filed properly and then to help ensure that the technicians involved were back on track with the work they had been doing before she made her way back to her office. Thankfully alone in the elevator, Lena used the time travelling between floors to prepare herself for seeing Kara for the first time. She knows that she won’t be able to completely temper her reaction but as long as she can keep herself from acting like a blind woman seeing the sun for the first time, she figured she would be able to muddle through. 

The elevator door opened with a soft ping and Lena stepped out. Her gaze immediately landed on the cardigan clad form of the woman she loved. Kara stood next to the strong, sure form of Clark Kent. A contrast to Clark’s easy confidence, Kara nervously played with the metal rings that bound her notebook together. Lena’s heart clenched painfully in her chest at the sight of Kara and it took every ounce of her will to keep herself from throwing her arms around Kara never letting go. 

“To what do I owe the pleasure, Mr. Kent?” With her expression schooled into a carefully neutral yet welcoming smile, Lena stepped the two guests in her office. She caught a whiff of Kara’s perfume as she passed and the familiar scent almost had Lena falling to her knees. Resolutely, she walked on with the two Kryptonians following behind her. 

“Ms. Luthor,” Clark greeted her kindly, though Lena could tell his smile was a bit forced. “We just had a few questions for you about this morning.” 

“The explosion on the Venture, you mean,” Lena poured herself a glass of water from the tumbler on her sidebar. She kept herself from looking at Kara by keeping her back turned to her until she was once again sitting behind her desk. Although she was speaking to Clark, Kara had commanded most of Lena’s attention. “You wouldn’t be asking me about this if my last name was Smith.” 

“But it’s not. It’s Luthor.” Clark’s eyes are somewhat cold as his gaze stays fixed firmly on Lena. Lena spares another glance in Kara’s direction and finds her fiddling with her glasses. Lena conceals a fond smile at the familiar sight. 

“Some steel under that Kansas wheat,” Lena says wryly. “Why don’t you ask me what you really came here to ask?” 

“Why weren’t you on the Venture this morning?” The question was one that Lena would have expected even if she wasn’t having the same conversation for the second time. She sat back against her chair and crossed her legs. 

“There was an accident in one of my labs. You can check the report yourself.” 

“I don’t think that’s necessary.” Kara spoke up for the first time. Lena couldn’t help the way her heartbeat increased at the sound and she wondered if Kara noticed. There was a barely noticeable tilt to Kara’s head and her brow was just barely pinched together, not quite enough for Lena to see the infamous crinkle but enough for her to know that Kara was concentrating on something. Lena fought off another smile at the familiar sight and the burst of warmth that flooded her being. Once again, right from the start, Kara was already jumping to her defense. 

“And you are?” Lena fought to keep her tone even but curious. 

“Kara Danvers,” Kara introduced herself. “I’m with CatCo.” 

“I didn’t think CatCo was known for their hard hitting journalism.” A flush covered Kara’s cheeks as she mumbled an excuse. Lena indulged herself in her the sight for a moment before speaking again before she could do something idiotic, like kiss Kara right then and there. “I came to National City for a fresh start, for me and my company.” 

“You’ll forgive me if I have trouble believing that.” There was that hint of steel in Clark’s voice again. Lena bristled slightly at the tone but refused to let the tension seep into her shoulders. She knew when she started this that she would have to win everyone’s trust again, not just Kara’s, but god she wished the process could be a little faster. 

“I’m just a woman trying to make a name for herself outside of her family.” Lena spoke imploringly.”Can’t you understand that?” 

“Yeah,” Kara’s agreement was followed by a soft smile. It wasn’t Lena’s smile yet, not the one full of unspoken promises, but it was perhaps the beginning of that. 

“Alright then,” Clark said after a moment in which Lena realized she had simply been staring at Kara. “Thank you for your time, Ms. Luthor.” 

“Always a pleasure, Mr. Kent.” Without conscious effort, Lena’s gaze softened as she looked at Kara. “Ms. Danvers.” 

Both Krytponians heard the clear dismissal in Lena’s tone and began to make their way out of her office. Clark walked back to the elevator without pause but Kara hesitated in the doorway. Lena realized that Kara was still there and looked up from the paperwork she had turned her attention to. Their gazes met across the empty space of Lena’s office and, just for a second, Lena felt as though she was looking at her Kara. The Kara who knew all parts of Lena, good and bad, and loved her even so. Kara’s final words to Lena floated through her mind. 

I’m always yours, Lena, even when I’m not.

“Is there something else I can do for you Ms. Danvers?” 

“No, sorry,” Kara blinked twice and looked down to hide the blush coloring her cheeks. “Just...have a good day Ms. Luthor.” 

“You as well, Ms. Danvers.” The smile Lena gave Kara as she bid goodbye was perhaps softer and much more loving that was appropriate for a woman she just met but Lena couldn’t bring herself to worry about that. Kara returned Lena’s smile and then made her way to where her cousin was waiting. 

Once Kara was gone, Lena let herself slump back in her chair with a sound halfway between a laugh and a sob escaping her throat. Lena couldn’t decide if she was more relieved at seeing Kara alive again or if she was more scared that she would fail in the end and all of this would have been for nothing. 

But no, even if Lena did fail, which she was more than sure that she wouldn’t, no time spent with Kara would ever be for nothing. Even if they were only ever friends, Lena would be content as long as Kara was alive to be her friend. She could earn Kara’s friendship back, at least, but could she actually save Kara? Only time would tell and that was the scariest part. 

Because Lena was only sending her consciousness back in time rather than physically travelling there herself, it was simple enough to build the headgear and attach it to the computer that would run the program Lena had designed for the task. Lena had the sense to leave a note addressed to Alex that explained everything that Lena was doing, just in case. She hoped that Alex would never read the note but Lena was too much of a pessimist for that. The fact that she wanted this to work so bad was probably a sign that it wouldn’t work at all. 

Nevertheless, Lena resolved to try. Kara deserved that at the very least. 

After checking the equations for the tenth time, Lena set the date she wanted to travel into the computer and started the algorithm. She settled on the exam table with the headpiece in place. There was no time like the present, after all, and Lena had wasted more than enough time with Kara. She wouldn’t make the same mistake again. 

With her mind focused only on Kara and all the wasted time between them, Lena let her eyes fall closed and the work she had done washed through her being. 

Lena awoke with a splitting headache and groaned into her pillow before her surroundings registered in her mind. Once she realized that was laying on a much more comfortable bed than the examination table in her lab, Lena sat upright in bed. She was in her bedroom, in her apartment in National City, but everything was just slightly off. It was like her apartment hadn’t been lived in yet. 

With a gasp, Lena bolted from her bed, her headache forgotten as she scrambled for her phone to check the date. The model of the phone was enough to let Lena know that she had successfully made it to the past, but she needed to know the date to be sure. Lena could have cried in relief when she finally got her phone on and unlocked but she held the tears in until she was standing in her living room and had turned the television on. There, wearing a sunny smile and her original suit, was Kara. The coverage showed Supergirl stopping a collision between a school bus and semi-truck. 

Lena covered her mouth as a sob escaped her throat. Kara was here, Kara was alive. Lena could save her. Lena did save her. Kara was alive, even if she had no idea who Lena was, she was alive. They had a second chance and this time Lena wasn’t going to waste a moment. 

Making her way to her home office, dimly aware of the way her home seemed so unlived in with the absence of the last five years worth of memorabilia, Lena searched through her desk until she found a simple notebook bound in black leather. The notebook was small enough that Lena would be able to carry it on her person easily, which was good because that was the only way that Lena could be sure the information she put in the notebook was safe. A list of important events that would be happening in the next five years was not something that would be safe as a digital file. Even L-Corp’s servers could, and would, be hacked. Armed with a mechanical pencil and determined not to lose Kara again, Lena began writing. 

The first list was much simpler than the second one that Lena wrote down. First, Lena created a to-do list for herself. Staring with what Lena considered the most important, she wrote:

befriend Kara again

befriend Supergirl 

It seemed silly to list both halves of Kara’s identity as separate entities but Lena had to acknowledge the fact that she was essentially starting from scratch with both Kara and Supergirl. She would need to build a relationship with both versions of the woman she loved separately before she could be let in on Kara’s secret. Selfishly, Lena hoped it wouldn’t take her near as long to prove herself trustworthy again. Leaving complicated thoughts of time travel and relationships to be pondered over later, Lena continued with her list. 

make anti-kryptonite suit

upgrade supersuit

put Lillian away

Deal With Lex

Again, Lena paused for a moment before moving on to other matters. She would have to deal with her equally complicated feelings about her family later. 

build Watchtower

keep Kara alive 

The last item was underlined three times. 

Turning a page in her notebook, Lena began her second list. This one was more of a timeline than a list, a timeline of all the important events that would happen in the near future, from the Daxamite invasion, to Reign’s attack (Lena made a note to bring Sam to National City as soon as possible), to Red Daughter and everything that happened with Lex, to Crisis and Leviathan and finally, to the battle that had resulted in Kara’s death. 

From the rules of time travel that Barry and the Legends followed, Lena knows that there will be some events that she simply cannot change. There will be things that she can’t stop from happening no matter how hard she tries, but she was okay with that. As long as Lena can minimize the damage of those events with her advanced knowledge and, most importantly, as long as she can keep Kara safe, Lena could cope with all the rest. Kara’s death would be the one thing that Lena would change, no matter if the universe wanted her to or not. 

Shit like pandemics and people not wearing their masks properly and not being able to see her mom on a regular basis and, the cherry on top, this fucking winter storm. 

The thing about living in Texas for all her life, with occasional forays into Mexico, is that Juliana has no real experience dealing with this kind of cold. Texas winters are not cold. Sure the state would get some occasional ice and maybe even snow, but unless you were in the Panhandle all of that would be gone by 9 a.m. and life could continue as normal. Temperatures regularly climbed as high as the 90s in the winter months, making them only barely cooler than the harsh Texas summers. Juliana was aware of that and had understood that for all her life. As a result, she was not at all prepared for the blizzard that was descending across the state and a good deal of the United States as a whole. 

Juliana wasn’t really concerned about the whole thing until Valentina returned to their apartment from her short trip to the grocery store a block over. Valeninta had come into the apartment shivering, even after climbing three flights of stairs with two grocery bags in each hand. Juliana had rushed to help her girlfriend put the bags down and remove the layers of damp outer clothes she wore. 

“You’re freezing, babe,” Juliana murmured softly in Valentina’s ear when the other woman leaned into her, gratefully accepting Juliana’s body heat. 

“It’s freezing outside,” Valentina said back. She still had her mask on but she tucked her nose against Juliana’s neck anyway. “It’s really starting to come down out there. This could get pretty bad.” 

“You think?” Juliana questioned seriously. Valentina, unlike Juliana, had experienced a few northern winters when she was growing up, regular family trips to Canada around the holidays had been a staple of the Carvajal family until Val’s mom passed away. She’s told Juliana stories of the blizzards she’d endured as a kid, but she always said they weren’t actually that bad once you got used to them. Besides, most places up north were prepared for that sort of thing. 

“There’s already ice everywhere and it’s started snowing,” Valentina extracted herself from Juliana’s arms and finally took her mask off, hanging it up with her keys. “I think we’re forecasted to get at least 4 inches of snow, or something around there.” 

Juliana frowns slightly as she follows Valentina into the kitchen, unable to remember a time when San Antonio got more than an inch of snow before. 

“I saw an article earlier about there being a chance of the power going out for a little bit because the Texas power grid is equipped to deal with hot summers, not cold winters.” Valentina continues as she puts away the groceries she had purchased. “But I think with the fireplace and all the extra blankets we have, we should be okay if the power goes out for an hour or so.” 

Juliana hummed her agreement. They did have a surplus of blankets in the apartment, of varying sizes and materials. They’d be okay if the power went out for an hour.

“I did ask Guille to bring us a flat of bottled water though. Even if we don’t lose power there’s a good chance the pipes will freeze. He should be here in a few minutes.” Valentina put away their reusable grocery bags and came to stand directly in front of Juliana again. “Might be a good idea to shower now, when we still have hot water.” 

“You’re really worried about this thing, aren’t you?” Juliana observed Valentina’s fidgeting hands and nervous bounce. “I thought these kinds of storms didn’t bother you.” 

“They don’t when I’m somewhere that I know has precautions for this kind of thing. Do you even own a real winter coat?” Valentina places her finger over Juliana’s lips when she goes to answer. “No, your college hoodie doesn’t count as a winter coat.” 

“Point taken,” Juliana pressed a short kiss to the finger pressed against her lips. Valentina smiled, retracted her finger, and replaced it with her lips. Juliana hummed against her, sliding her warm hands beneath the back of Valentina’s shirt. Valentina’s trip to the grocery had taken longer than it usually does and Juliana wasn’t above admitting that she had missed her love during the short time they’d been apart. 

Their kiss only broke when a knock sounded on their door, Guille there with the flat of water Valentina had requested of him and with a box of pizza for them as well. 

“You didn’t have to get us food,” Juliana said as she took the box Guille was balancing on top of the water. “But thank you.” 

“I was there getting some for me and Renata anyway. I figured I would save you from Valentina’s cooking,” Guille joked, earning a punch in the shoulder from his sister and a laugh from Juliana. He set the waters down in the spot that Valentina indicated for him to do so and then stood up straight again. “You guys stay warm, okay? Let me know if you need anything.” 

“We will, and you do the same,” Juliana accepted the hug Guille stepped forward to give her, releasing him a moment later so he could give the same treatment to Valentina. “And text us when you get home.” 

“Sure,” with a last wave, Guille was out the door just as quickly as he had walked in. 

“So,” Valentina turned back to Juliana once they were alone in the apartment again. “Pizza?” 

“I have a better idea,” Juliana pulled Valentina back to her by the belt lips on her jeans, silencing the laugh Valentina released with a kiss. 

__

After eating lukewarm pizza, their evening progressed about the same way it usually does. They took turns in the shower, though they both took the time to make sure their hair was completely dry before they headed back towards the living room, and then they curled up on the couch together to watch an episode or two of their current Netflix show before they retired to the bedroom for the night. As they climbed into bed, Valentina was beginning to think that she’d been worried about nothing. Juliana didn’t mind, saying that it was better to be safe than sorry. They fell asleep feeling fairly confident that the coming storm wouldn’t be all that bad. 

Funny, how wrong they had been. 

Valentina is the first to wake up, just before 1:30 in the morning. She’s a little more groggy than usual, having woken up in the middle of her sleep cycle rather than at the end as she normally does, so it takes her a little longer than normal to realize why she woke up. The answer becomes apparent when she takes a deep breath and her lungs are filled with cold air. She’s freezing cold, from the tip of her nose to the bottoms of her feet. That explains her sudden wakefulness. Valentina can’t sleep if she’s too cold and she’s nearly sure she can see her breathe in the air despite being inside so she’s definitely too cold. 

She reaches out for Juliana first and her hand lands on Juliana’s blanket-covered arm. Following the familiar path in the dark of the room, Valentina traces her way up towards Juliana’s neck and frowns when she encounters the much cooler skin of Juliana’s shoulder. Juliana makes a soft sound in her sleep, one of discomfort Valentina thinks, and then moves a little closer to Valentina in search of warmth. Valentina moves so Juliana can settle against her more easily and lets the woman burrow into the slight warmth that Valentina offers her. 

With the arm not holding her girlfriend close, Valentina reaches blindly for her phone on the nightstand. It takes a bit of fumbling and stretching but she manages to find the device, unplug it, and bring it to her line of sight. The battery level isn’t too low, which makes Valentina think that the power hadn’t been off all that long yet. A quick check as to when the phone stopped charging confirms that the power had only been out for about half an hour. Which was actually pretty concerning, given how cold it was in the room. If she felt this cold after half an hour, how cold would she be when the power came back on? Probably too cold for comfort. 

It’s Valentina’s experience with colder winters up north that has her gently shaking Juliana awake. 

“Wake up, my love, we need to change into something warmer,” Valentina says as she rouses her girlfriend from her sleep. Juliana mumbles a questioning sound into Valentina’s neck and snuggles closer to her. “I know you don’t want to, but the power is out and we need to make sure we stay warm.” 

“Isn’t the best way to share body heat to take off layers, not put more on?” Juliana’s question is spoken slowly, her words sluggish as she reluctantly wakes up. Valentina rolls her eyes, endlessly amused that even barely awake and probably freezing her ass off, Juliana still tries to get into Valentina’s pants. 

“We can’t share body heat if our bodies aren’t warm,” Valentina tells her, placing her cold hand on Juliana’s shoulder. The contact makes Juliana jump slightly in surprise at the normally warm touch being so cold. 

“Okay, point taken,” Juliana grumbles as she rolls away. Valentina watches with an amused smirk as Juliana reaches for the lamp on the bedside table out of habit and then sighs when the light doesn’t come on. “Right, no power. You said that.” 

“I did,” Valentina confirms, turning on the flashlight on her phone. Juliana looks over her shoulder at her, clearly not impressed with the amused grin Valentina wears. “You should put on something warm, and socks.” 

“I hate sleeping in socks,” Juliana grumbles in a far too adorable way for an adult woman. Valentina can’t help the laugh that escapes her and leans over to kiss Juliana’s shoulder in silent apology when she glares at Val over her shoulder. 

“I know, but your toes will thank you when you don’t get frostbite.” 

Still grumbling, Juliana climbs out of the bed and moves towards the closet to change into a long sleeve sleep shirt and sweatpants. Valentina follows after her and changes as well before she digs through her sock drawer for two pairs of warm, fuzzy socks. 

“How long are we supposed to be without power?” Juliana asks as they’re climbing back into bed together. 

“An hour or so I think,” Valentina pulls up the extra blanket that she’d added to the bed and then gladly lets Juliana pull her close. “The article said something about rolling blackouts, so this’ll happen again in a few hours but we should have power when we wake up.” 

“Good,” Juliana presses a kiss to Valentina’s hair and holds her closer. “I am not built for this kind of cold.” 

__

When Juliana wakes up again, she realizes almost immediately that the power is still off and, after checking her phone, probably had been off since she and Val went back to sleep about 6 hours ago. She’s pretty sure that the rolling blackouts Val mentioned weren’t supposed to last this long, and she wonders if maybe something had gone wrong with the apartment building’s power supply. 

Leaving Valentina in bed for the time being, after kissing her forehead and making sure she didn’t wake up when Juliana extracted herself from Valentina’s embrace, Juliana pulled a beanie over her hair and slipped into a pair of shoes before making her way down to the building’s lobby, mask firmly in place over her mouth and nose. It seemed that she wasn’t the only tenant to have this idea as about 10 other people were already downstairs by the time Juliana walked in. 

“I don’t know what’s going on, but there’s nothing wrong with the building,” the landlord was saying as Juliana joined the growing crowd. “Every time I call the power company, they tell me to sit tight and wait it out. We should have power in a few hours.” 

“So what do we do?” A male tenant who lived on the floor above Juliana’s asked. She could tell by his tone that he was frustrated, but he seemed to be angry about the situation rather than at the landlord. “My wife just had a baby, we have to keep her warm.” 

“Bundle up, use your fireplace for heat, and try not to leave your apartment too much. I have stores of firewood in the basement for people who don’t have any on hand, but we’ll have to limit how much every apartment can get.” 

“Seems fair enough,” another tenant agreed, wearing mismatched pajama pants and an animae hoodie. “I’ll take some firewood.” 

After collecting her own small bundle of wood, Juliana took a little less than the others because she knew she and Val already had some in their apartment, Juliana climbed back up the stairs and made her way home. 

“There you are,” Valentina said in obvious relief as Juliana closed the door behind her. “I was starting to get worried.” 

“Sorry, baby,” Juliana set the wood down with the rest and then pulled Valentina into a hug. “I went to check with the landlord about the power. Apparently we just have to wait it out.” 

Valentina frowned against Juliana’s neck at the advice before she pulled away and made her way towards the kitchen area. 

“I guess that means no morning coffee,” Valentina grumbled, reaching for a bottle of water instead of her usual coffee cup. 

“I’m sure you’ll survive without caffeine for a day.” 

“I will sure, but you might want to kill me by the end of it.” Valentina smiled as Juliana moved closer to her and wrapped her arms around her waist, pressing a kiss to her neck. 

“Never,” Juliana squeezed Valentina around the waist. “But I might kick you out of our blanket fort.” 

“Really? In the middle of a panorama?” Valentina shook her head facetiously. “The nerve of some people.” 

Juliana laughed and leaned over Valentina’s shoulder for a proper kiss before letting her go. Valentina moved around the kitchen to put together something for them to eat for breakfast without opening the refrigerator while Juliana set to work building a fire in their fireplace. Valentina found a box of poptarts hidden in the pantry and pulled out a package to share with her girlfriend before moving into the living room with her. 

“You were serious about that blanket fort, weren’t you?” 

In the middle of their living room is a rather impressive bundle of blankets stretched over the couch and chairs stands. Juliana can spot Valentina’s laptop resting there, along with pillows for them to lean against and extra blankets to actually cover up with. Valentina had built the fort while Juliana had coaxed the fire to life, the flames casting a warm glow around the room. 

“Shut up and get over here.” 

“Yes ma’am,” Juliana chuckles but obediently crawls into the space to curl up with Valentina. 

They spend the next few days in a similar manner, waiting for the power to come back on. There’s a few times when they do get power for about an hour or so, long enough to take a quick shower, heat up some food, and get their phones and laptops charged up, but it takes about four days before they actually have power for real. They keep in touch with family as best they can, offer to have Juliana’s mother come stay with them until the power is back but she insists that she’ll be fine with Panchito. (Juliana does not appreciate the jokes Valentina makes about how Lupita might be staying warm.) 

After, in the return to normal - if there even is such a thing as normal while in the middle of a pandemic, Juliana feels like she could make it through anything as long as she has Valentina by her side. She’s made it through college, Covid, snovid, moving in together, and through every step she’s had Valentina there. Valentina has held her hand and helped her study, made her tea when she needed to relax and coffee when she needed to wake. She’s had Valentina to curl up with at night and to keep her warm through freezing temperatures.