#ambo writes

Matt and Dan also told Neil and Allison (and Renee who was part of their usual group and Seth who currently was here but only spent time with them depending on his relationship status with Allison) that they didn't mind and that they went on plenty of dates without Neil as well. 

Neil gestured with his soda and Allison scoffed but changed the topic. 

Time passed, the conversation was put out of his mind almost immediately. It just wasn't relevant. 

Then the new semester started and Allison met Nicky in one of their classes and hit it off immediately. Nicky joined their group during one lunch and hit it off with the rest of the group as well, though Seth was his usual homophobic self and Neil was fine with someone as loud and extroverted as Nicky as long as he didn't have to interact with him.

With Nicky came his cousin Aaron and his girlfriend Katelyn who was already friends with Dan through their extracurricular activities and Neil knew immediately he and Aaron would not get along. Aaron was an asshole.

A few weeks into the semester the group had kind of established itself and things had been normal. Until one day Allison and Nicky threw a party which Matt dragged Neil to with a promise of compensation of free food for a week. 

The party was busier with more people Neil would have liked and he kept having to talk to strangers that came over to talk to him for some reason. He had lost sight of Dan and Matt a long time ago and every time he tried to go find them or a place to sit to stretch his leg out, there would be someone else getting in his way. 

But the next time someone left and he took a step, pain shot through his leg. He caught himself on someone, but it was just another stranger, now exclaiming something about his drink.

Neil said something and pushed down the pain and stumbled away. He just needed to get out of here. 

The party was thankfully at Allison’s way too big house he had been several times before, so he knew the shortest way up and onto the roof. 

With a groan Neil let himself fall on his ass and stretched out his legs. The night was still warm, but it was still a reprieve after the much more sweltering air inside. 

It hurt, but he gritted his teeth and tried to move his leg through the exercises his physical therapist had shown him for moments like this when he had been on his feet for too long without any breaks. It had been a long time since he had seen her, but he didn’t really need the regular sessions anymore.

The door opened and he froze, turning to see who it was and seeing a bit of black and blond hair and a familiar face before his legs spasmed from the movement and turned back with a hiss, fingers digging into his thighs. 

“Shut up,” Neil told Aaron before he could make some smart ass comment. His leg spasmed again and he swallowed his pride. “Either leave or come here and be useful for once.” 

There was a pause where Neil thought Aaron fucked off, but then steps came closer and around him. Aaron’s pre-doctor urge to help seemed to still apply to Neil. 

Aaron crouched down next to him and Neil adjusted and put his foot up, pushing it at Aaron until he had no choice but to catch it by his ankle. 

Neil opened his mouth to tell him to just do it, when his eyes fell on his hands and forearms. Calloused fingers, forearms clad in armbands just as black as the rest of his clothes. He looked up and saw his expression. “You’re not Aaron.” 

Not Aaron’s mouth twitched into the slightest shape of a scoffing smirk. “And you have eyes.” 

Grimacing Neil tried to pull back his foot, but Not Aaron’s grip tightened. “Sorry. My leg’s fucked. He sometimes helps with the stretches when it gets really bad.” And always bitched about letting it get this bad and demanding compensation. 

Without saying anything, Not Aaron shifted his own weight to have a knee on the ground and his hands on Neil’s leg and pushed Neil into a stretch. 

Neil hissed and gritted his teeth again to stop any noise as Not Aaron guided Neil through a series of stretches like he had done it a hundred times before. If he ignored the hard roof underneath or the night air, it was almost like being in his physical therapist’s office. Not Aaron’s hands never strayed somewhere they shouldn’t be and when he lowered Neil’s leg for the final time, slowly having him relax into a rest state, the pain had dulled into the usual ache. 

“Thank you,” Neil sighed, consciously releasing all the tension in the rest of his body that had built up. 

Not Aaron sat back and crossed his legs, pulling out cigarettes. His lighter looked expensive with something engraved in the bottom Neil only caught a glimpse of. 

If Neil hadn’t figured out he wasn’t Aaron before this, he would have figured it out now. He had been on the other end of the “Cigarettes are bad for you” rant more than once. 

He took one when Not Aaron offered him his pack. The smoke curled warm against his face as he inhaled it without actually putting the filter into his mouth. 

“Andrew,” Not Aaron said after a while of just sitting in silence and smoking. 

“Neil.” He looked at Andrew, looked at all the differences between him and Aaron. “You have some nice hands. Are you pre-med too?”

“Of sort.” Andrew seemed amused as he took a drag from his cigarette, eyes on Neil as steady as his hands had been. “You?”

“Math,” Neil answered fully expecting the disgust and grinning when it happened anyway. “I know. I’ve heard it all before.” He dragged the stub of his cigarette over the roof, before letting it lay there. When Andrew silently offered him another, Neil scooted forward, so he was next to him facing the other direction. 

Instead of letting Neil take one from the packet himself, Andrew grabbed one and put it in front of his mouth. 

Confused, Neil looked at him, but he leaned in further to take it in between his lips. He felt fingers lightly catch on his jaw when Andrew pulled away and lit the cigarette with his lighter in the other hand. 

The smoke burned in his throat, but he just tilted his head back to exhale upwards. He didn’t cough. He might not smoke a lot, but it was enough to not embarrass himself. 

When he lowered his head, took the cigarette out of his mouth and looked at Andrew, he found Andrew already looking at him. Neil licked his lips to get another taste of the cigarette. 

Andrew for some reason looked at his mouth then. Weird. 

“You come to the party with someone?” 

“Matt. He bribed me with food. Ah, Matt’s a -”

“He’s Renee’s giant friend, I know.” 

“Oh.” Neil would have thought Andrew would know Matt more from his association with Aaron and Nicky, but it wasn’t wrong he supposed.

“So you’re that Neil.” Another drag and a slow exhale of smoke filling up the space between them before dissipating. “You often spend time with couples or is it just that one?”

Neil snorted. “Have you been talking to Allison? We are happy with the arrangement. I don’t know why their relationship status matters so much.” 

“Mh.” Andrew flicked the last bit of his cigarette away and leaned in, grabbing Neil’s chin when he reflexively tried to lean back. “If those two goody two shoes have done one thing right, it was teach you how to properly flirt at least.” 

Neil blinked at him, not understanding. Flirt? Neil hadn’t been flirting. He didn’t know anything about flirting. 

But then Andrew shifted a little more and their noses passed each other with a little brush of skin and the fingers on his chin angled his face just so and their lips were touching and Andrew smelled of smoke and chocolate and he was warm and Neil had no idea what was happening right now. 

Andrew’s mouth moved, lips dragging along Neil’s, pressure increasing and decreasing at specific points.

It was actually kind of nice. Much better than that one very wet kiss at age fourteen with some girl that his mother had beat him black and blue over. 

Eyes closing Neil tried to copy Andrew, tried to move his mouth in a way that he had seen Matt and Dan make out, but he felt clumsy and inexperienced. 

Andrew’s hand left his chin to drag along his throat and then to the back of his head. Andrew opened his mouth a little and there was a little bit of wetness, a taste of chocolate and alcohol just as he pulled Neil a bit forward with that hand in his hair, firm, like Andrew knew exactly what he was doing.  

Foreign sensations ran along his spine. Neil felt warm and tingly and like he could get addicted to the feel and taste of Andrew’s mouth. 

A tug on his hair and a deep chuckle had him blink his eyes open, realizing he had tried to chase after Andrew’s mouth he had pulled away. 

Andrew licked his lips, eyes dark and amused again. “Cute.” 

Allison had called him that before, but it had always been mocking when he had apparently been too naive or something. Most importantly it had never made him feel like this. 

Nothing had ever made him feel like this. Maybe he had been missing out. Maybe it was just Andrew. 

Andrew’s mouth left a hot trail over his jaw downwards to his throat, pulling his head back to give him more room with the hand in his hair. 

What… Oh. 

Andrew alternatingly mouthed at his throat, sucked and dragged his teeth a little over his skin. Neil had never felt anything like this. He was pretty sure his mouth was open and he was making noises, but his mind was a jumbled mess and he couldn’t concentrate. 

“You found one already? Too easy.”

Neil stilled. That voice had come from behind him. 

The words were enough to pierce the pleasant fog in his head. But that voice. It was one of a handful voices he would never forget, no matter how many years had passed. 

“Let go,” Neil said, his own voice quiet and hard. His shaky hand found Andrew’s shoulder and pushed at it. All the warm feelings slowly turned to nausea and anger. 

Andrew let go without hesitation and got out of his space, mouth red and shiny, and Neil got to his feet, refusing to shake out his leg even though Andrew already knew that weakness. 

Turning around he stepped out of reach and there he was.

Kevin fucking Day, the best Exy player that ever existed and Neil's childhood obsession right until his father had forced him to give up on a dream that had already been impossible.

But now, seeing Kevin from across the roof, he was almost right back to his bedroom, hiding in the closet with a stolen flashlight and even more stolen news articles that neither parent could ever see. 

Kevin Day was at a party two people he would only generously call friends hosted. Kevin Day had something to do with the one person who had kissed Neil into a mess. 

Kevin Day took a look at Neil and made a face he had never seen him make, his public smile nowhere to be seen. “You didn't ask him yet.” It was a reprimand.

“I was working him up to it. You're just too impatient, Princess.” Andrew also got to his feet, but he also kept his distance from Neil and got a bit closer to Kevin. “You know Kevin Day.” It wasn’t a question. 

“I didn’t know you would be here.” He didn’t know if he would have come without incentive or if he would have stayed away at all cost. 

Kevin sneered. “Did you find an entitled fan again?” This he directed at Andrew. “You need to make sure before you make out with them.” 

“You’re an asshole,” Neil said and it was part revelation and part accusation. 

“Shattering a world view here?” Andrew put a cigarette between his lips, but Kevin snatched it away and threw it on the ground in two pieces. Andrew sent him a flat look. 

“Whatever this is, I’m not interested.” He didn’t want to hear any mocking from Andrew or more insults from Kevin. He was getting whiplash from the shift of emotions. His leg hurt and he hated that Andrew had kissed him and that he had liked it when it seemed to be just a game to these two. “Go back to your Exy court.” 

Kevin’s expression twisted in anger, but Neil didn’t care. As steady as he could he walked past them and back into the house. 

The party was still going strong. Too full, too noisy. 

He found Matt talking to a guy with blond streaks in his hair and the brightest smile Neil had ever seen. It hurt his eyes to look at. 

“Oh, Neil, there you are,” Matt shouted over the music, but his cheerful expression turned concerned quickly. “What’s wrong?” 

Neil cursed his lack of control over his facial expressions. “I want to go home.” He had to repeat himself as Matt leaned in to hear better. 

“Yeah okay. No problem.” He exchanged some sort of handshake with the stranger and then wrapped an arm around Neil’s shoulders to steer him through the masses. After they left the house and made their way down the too long driveway to Matt’s car, he texted Dan. “She was going to stay at Allison’s anyway. I just let her know we left.” 

“Sorry.” Guilt joined the pile in his gut. He knew that Matt enjoyed these types of things way more than Neil and would have stayed until it was winding down, if not join the clean up after as well. 

“No no, it’s okay.” Matt squeezed Neil’s shoulder with a smile that seemed genuine. “Did something happen?” 

Neil shook his head, got into the passenger seat and leaned his head against the window. He closed his eyes. 

Their weekly mandatory brunch thing was just two days after the party. 

As soon as Nicky saw Neil, he gasped and it just went downhill from there. 

It turned out Andrew had left a mark on his throat. 

“A hickey,” Allison helpfully provided with glee in her eyes. 

For some reason those two were sure that either Matt or Dan had made it. There was a bet and everything. 

Neil tried to ignore them as they continued to pester the three of them for answers. 

Someone approached their table and he felt some relief that the arrival of food would bring some quiet, but when he looked up it wasn’t one of those fancy dressed waiters, but the two people he really wanted to see the least right now. 

Nicky cheered and immediately everyone shuffled around to make space for Kevin and Andrew around the table. Neil ended up between Matt and Renee somehow with a direct view of the two newcomers. 

Introductions were made and the mood wasn’t bad. 

“We met,” Neil said when it was his turn and couldn’t help the glare. 

A beat of silence. 

“Oh?” Nicky asked uncertainly, head turning back and forth between them. 

Neil felt Matt straighten up to his full height in his chair and a glance revealed he had lost his smile. He had figured it out then.

“At the party on Friday, but it seems we got off on the wrong foot.” Kevin was smiling, something so obviously fake now that Neil had seen the real him. 

“Kevin with alcohol in him? Color me surprised that he pissed someone off,” Aaron remarked with a smirk and glared at Nicky for hitting his shoulder. 

“Just forget it.” Neil got up. “I’ll be right back.” He didn’t look at anyone else as he walked away. Instead of leaving entirely he only went to the bathroom, splashing cold water into his face and leaning onto the edge of the sink. 

This was so stupid. He had survived things that made others sick to their stomach just hearing about it and here he was struggling with interacting with two people who had made fun of him? 

The door to the bathroom opened and Neil saw Kevin and Andrew in the reflection in the mirror. They closed the door and stopped next to Neil, obviously just here for him. 

“Look,” Neil started and straightened up. “Whatever game you two are playing-” He was interrupted by Kevin holding out some paper towels to dry off, but what really caught his eye was that he had used his left hand and it was covered in white scars spread like lightning. “What happened?” He grabbed Kevin’s wrist, turning his hand. The towels fluttered to the ground, forgotten. 

“You don’t know?” Kevin sounded surprised, but Neil couldn’t look at his face. He was too busy tracing the scars with a light touch. 

The scars were covering his hand in a way the skin would have had to have been split open in uncountable places. The placement though aligned with all the small bones underneath. 

His imagination overlaid an image of a mess of a hand, mangled and bloody, over the one in his hands right now. It wasn’t hard. 

“Five years ago Riko hit it with his racquet.” Kevin’s tone was matter of fact with none of the horror Neil felt. “He got arrested, but I can’t play anymore. It was all over the news.” 

Five years ago Neil had been sixteen and desperately trying to stay alive as his father hunted him and his mother. There had been no time to stay on top of any Exy news, even if he had wanted to. 

“I didn’t know,” Neil said quietly even though it was obvious. He didn’t know what else to say. 

“And we weren’t making fun of you,” Andrew said from his spot right next to them forming the last corner of the triangle. One of his hands was hovering near Neil and the other was behind Kevin, like it was resting at the small of his back. 

Neil blinked at it, forcing his mind to shift gears. 

“Seems that there was a,” Andrew paused, expression twitching like had tasted something disgusting. “Miscommunication.” 

“It’s not your fault,” Kevin said quietly, swaying toward Andrew like he couldn’t help it. Andrew glared at him for a second, but he didn’t look serious. 

Oh. “Wait, are you two.” Neil’s head spun. “Then why did you-”

“Are you really that naive?”

Neil bristled, realized he was still holding Kevin’s hand and dropped it, but before he could say something, there was a hand on the back of his neck and Kevin’s face was right there, close enough Neil felt his breath, close enough that a kiss wouldn’t be difficult at all. 

“We were looking for someone to have sex with,” Kevin said quietly, his tone suddenly so different. “A guy we could suck off and who we could fuck together. Someone that wouldn’t make a big deal about my name or it being threesome.”

It was so strange. Neil had been obsessed with Kevin, had worshipped him, and here he was, touching him, telling him things Neil had never ever thought about. 

“Is this flirting?” Neil asked genuinely, because he couldn’t tell. Were they still trying to do that with him or was he just explaining what had happened that night? 

Kevin’s hand on Neil twitched and his intent expression morphed into disbelief. 

“Do you want it to be?” Andrew stepped close enough Neil could see him out of the corner of his eye and what must have been his hand touched Neil’s shoulder blade, light enough he could shrug him off. 

Neil supposed he had unexpectedly liked kissing Andrew, but he hadn’t liked what had come after and he wasn't feeling any of the things he had felt on the roof. “No.” Even if the complicated history Neil had with Kevin didn’t exist, he had never been interested in any of this and he wasn’t particularly interested in kissing Kevin right now either. 

“Okay.” Andrew took his hand away and pulled Kevin away who was frowning now, mouth pulled into something that might have been a pout if someone like Kevin was capable of it. 

“But-”

“Kevin,” Andrew interrupted him and they had a moment of silent conversation. 

“Fine. It’s a no. I got it.” 

Neil watched them both, a little confused, but they were accepting his answer and that was good enough.

To Be Continued on Ao3

I hope you like it!

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