And I'm so angry about amatonormativity. Everyone around me is getting engaged and moving in with their significant others and having kids and getting married and every one keeps asking me when my future is going to start. I don't know how to tell them I crawled my way back to living. I don't know how to tell them every time they ask all I hear is 'you aren't enough on your own.' I don't know how to do anything other than scream so I just stay silent. Because I am living, because this is my future, because I'm going to get a dog soon, and I'm alive. So damn beautifully, wonderfully alive and I hate that you'll all made me hate romance and become so jaded to love because now all I see when I look at it is everything I'm falling short of. All I see when I look at it is the one thing everyone is going to leave me behind for. And I want to come back to writing stories but I also want to burn the world to the ground and break something and run away and be enough. God, I just want to be enough for you. For me. For everyone. How is living not enough?
