100 Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
my goal is to convince you to READ or WATCH this series, these are the vibes (applicable to all generations because they do not give a flying f**k about family history):
xxx FIRST GENERATION xxx
Jose Arcadio Buendia
- married his cousin
- does not give a f**k about superstitions or traditions
- inventor/alchemist & is obsessed with learning & proving new sh*t
- kills someone and is forced to find a new village to find “peace”
- locks himself in his lab
- family time with his sons consists of locking himself with them in the lab
- goes batsh*t crazy when his best friend dies
- goes batsh*t crazier when his wife was not physically with him
- ends up getting tied to a tree
Ursula Iguaran Buendia
- married her cousin
- fated to have a child with a tail of a pig
- scared that she will have iguanas as children
- strong matriarch of the Buendia family and is born to witness the demise of the family she built
- a force to be reckoned with
- does not give a flying f**k about political colors (the men in her family are liberals)
- does give a flying f**k about her family
- hates/despises/abhors Arcadio’s guts
- has Rebeca as her favorite child
xxx SECOND GENERATION xxx
“Jose Arcadio” Buendia
- has such a big 🍆 his mother taught it was a deformity
- he does one of his mom’s friends // the same friend his brother f**ks in a few years
- continues the Buendia line with his illegitimate child (which he never acknowledges)
- freaked out about having a child and became a gypsy
- disappeared for so many years
- will disgrace the line even more once he returns
“Aureliano” Buendia
- is languor and has clairvoyant eyes
- has solitary air in him
- locks himself in his father’s lab during his younger years and before he dies
- he does one of his mom’s friends // the same one his brother f**ked years before
- also continues the Buendia line with his illegitimate child
- will fight for your liberal rights but will also marry and f**k a child
- will have 17 children, all named after him
- will face the firing squad
- will live long enough to become the tyrant
- started 32 wars only to let people paint their houses the color they want
- will only make gold fishes in the end
- will regret everything when he dies
Pilar Ternera
- the woman whom both Aureliano and Jose Aracadio will formicate with
- will bear them both illegitimate children
- was once a friend of Ursula
- watched Ursula give birth to Jose Arcadio
- is a witch
- reads cards/the future
- masters what happens to the Buendia men
- Buendia men approach her to get love advice after they have fornicated with her
- called a “whore” by his own son
“Remedios” Moscote-Buendia
- the said child Aureliano marries
- she is 14 in the book but Aureliano wanted to marry her even when she was 12
- there is literal sunlight wherever she goes
- would have been a great enemies to lovers trope if she WAS NOT 14
- daughter of the family’s rival
- brings peace, love, and prosperity to the Buendia home
- always so so so beautiful
- dies at a young age (often meets futile ends)
“Amaranta” Buendia
- described as plain and elegant like her mom’s grandmother
- is such a good seamstress
- hates Rebeca’s guts since childhood
- hates when anyone is prettier or more loved than her
- will fight over a guy who plays piano with Rebeca
- prays every night for something horrible to happen so Rebeca would not marry piano guy
- will end up burning her hand on the stove and wear a glove forever
- refuses to love anyone romantically
- will be romantically involved with her nephew
- will die once she finishes sewing something for her funeral
“Rebeca” Buendia
- is an ADOPTED child
- she only eats earth (soil) and whitewash on the walls
- arrived in Macondo with a bag of bones that moves (bones of her dead parents)
- described as the most beautiful in the line (prettier than Amaranta)
- fights over a guy who plays piano with Amaranta
- ends up being engaged with piano guy
- all that jazz just for her to end up choosing someone else
- said "someone else" triggers a forbidden love affair that is a favorite trope in this universe
- dies later than Amaranta
xxx THIRD GENERATION xxx
Jose “Arcadio” Buendia
- the illegitimate child of Jose Arcadio I (the gypsy) and Pilar
- looks like a child even when he was a young adult
- Ursula never accepted him so he has mommy issues
- almost f**ked his biological mother because no one ever told him who she was
- will also continue the Buendia line but this time with his legitimate children
- will also become a tyrant
- will also face the firing squad
“Aureliano Jose” Buendia
- the illegitimate child of Aureliano (the pedophile) and Pilar
- is an acknowledged natural child because his father didn’t want him to be treated like Arcadio
- was baptized
- fell in love with and wanted to f**k his aunt so bad
- when his aunt said no he drafted himself to the army
- never gets his “happy ending”
this is my PSA go read it, go watch it, its so insane and crazy don’t even buckle up just enjoy the ride, thank you!
