#alv69

In spite of the love and spirit of the DRC community, I want to take this moment to show me that I appreciate myself too.

Not many people have told you this, but you have to know that I am so proud of what you’ve become; with all your flaws, you have grown to be a wonderful lady. I hope you will keep working on your patience and your courage. I also want to let you know that I am the only person who will ever love you unconditionally. I will not let you down, I promise. *sighs* It’s funny now that I think about it. You have always dreamt about speaking to millions of people on stage, and yet you have this terrifying fear when every single eye is looking at you. Don’t be afraid to show them what you are made of, girl! I know you have it in yourself; all you have to do is find that moment. No one is judging you. Just shrug it off, and work your magic! 

Maybe every now and then you need some encouraging words, but guess what you’re luck because I’ll be here.

With warmth,

On November 19th, Rutgers HeForShe held a forum on gender based violence and sexual assault in the Douglass Student Center. They discussed about issues regarding gender and its viewpoints. Personally, little by little, I became frustrated with the idea that only specific groups of people are targeted when it comes to violence and sexual assault. Take for example men, who most believe that they cannot be raped because they characterize the essential features of a being a fighter, but men can be and are sexually assaulted. Any man can be sexually assaulted regardless of size, strength, appearance, age, occupation, race or sexual identity. The idea that men can’t be raped or sexually assaulted is linked to unrealistic beliefs that a ‘man’ should be able to defend himself against attack. In fact, any man can be raped, whether he identifies as straight, gay, bi, transgender or fluid sexuality. Rape is an act of force or coercion where someone’s personal choice is ignored. Just as being robbed does not tell you anything about someone’s sexuality, neither does rape. Meanwhile, such rape can also be done in relationships with homosexual men. Through physical, psychological or emotional coercion, some men are forced by their partners to engage in unwanted sexual acts. The fact that the man has been in a longstanding sexual relationship with his partner does not remove his right to say ‘NO!’. Unfortunately, many men within the gay community are reluctant to come forward and name a sexual assault out of an understandable fear that they will not receive appropriate care and support. This again highlights how the problem of sexual assault of men is compounded by societal homophobia.

All these myths all come down to being unhelpful because it makes it harder for men to talk about an experience of sexual assault, to find support, to report an offence to police, and to prosecute someone who commits a sexual assault.  

 Frankly, this phrase stuck with me throughout last Wednesday’s plenary featuring Karla Jackson, speaking about spirituality.

I believe it really depends on the significance of “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”. It is a sign of being a conscientious person who is sensitive to the needs of others, whether towards other people or animals or even the environment. Since compassion encompasses sympathy, which is the harmony of feeling naturally existing between persons of like tastes or opinion or of amiable dispositions, I would also suspect that it is gained through experience and knowledge, so it is in that respect “strength”. It can however become a weakness when a person lets others take advantage of him/her, or if one places too much importance on being compassionate, and sacrifice something else. Personally, compassion is never a weakness. It may get one into situations where others see him/her as weak but ultimately having the ability to show compassion makes you a much stronger being.

 STORYTELLING is good when it doesn’t get too REAL.

Last Wednesday’s plenary really got me thinking about how the Spanish girl was shot all because she did not want to participate in gang-related activities. It’s honestly crazy to think how your life can end right there in one moment just because you had the freedom to choose not to be involved in something that is not right. It was utterly sad. 

This also goes back to the discussion my class had today on women feeling inferior to the male-dominated world we live in. Women in graduate schools are being verbally sexually harassed to the point where men discourage them to drop out. That is insane. We cannot let men take over what our power to prosper in OUR life. No one has the right to write our destiny except ourselves. If we say we can receive a PhD as a women, then we will do so. If a man tells us we cannot, we will tell him off, but better yet show him off by completing that degree. So many women feel intimidated by these superior men in such high positions, that we do not realize that we can defend ourselves. Even if such accusation only gets you a slap in the hand, be proud of yourself that you made the stand to defend you and many others ahead of you.