#alter boy

Kneeling on the laundry

In an unfolded pile on the floor

Recent Acquisition - Photograph Collection

@bruised-saint

Father has assigned me to read and reflect upon the following scripture:

Philippians 1:29 - “ For unto you it is given in the behalf of Christ, not only to believe on him, but also to suffer for his sake.”

In this verse of Paul’s letter to the Philippians we are reminded that belief is differentiated from worship through suffering.

To believe is to be Christian, but to partake in the agony of Christ is to be holy.

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Verses 2:18 to 2:20 from The First Book of Peter that reiterates the same wisdom:

1 Peter 2:18 - “Servants, be subject to your masters with all fear; not only to the good and gentle, but also to the froward.”

19 - “For this is thankworthy, if a man for conscience toward God endure grief, suffering wrongfully.”

20 - “For what glory it is, if, when ye be buffeted for your faults, ye shall take it patiently? But if, when ye do well, and suffer for it, ye take it patiently, this is acceptable with god.”

These verses show that to partake in worship is to sanctify the master by the suffering of the servant.

Peter teaches that if to worship is to suffer, those who impose such suffering on their fellow man are righteous shepherds, glorifying all those they flagellate.

@bruised-saint

The reverend has sent me to study the following lines of scripture in preparation for my baptism.

Mathew 28:19-20

“Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost: teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world. Amen.”

These are the last lines of Mathew spoken directly by Christ to his disciples after his resurrection. Christ implores them to evangelize, and by passing on the knowledge of the Lord they pass His blessing, and his sacrifice onward to the next generation. His immortality exceeds that of His physical form through the leadership of those who continue to show His love to their students.

Mathew 3 (focus on 3:6-11)

“And were baptized of him in the Jorden, confessing their sins.

But when he saw the Pharisees and Sadducees come to his baptism, he said unto them, O generation of vipers who hath warned you to flee from the wrath to come?

Bring forth therefore fruits meet for repentance:

And think not to say within yourselves, we have Abraham to our father: for I say unto you that God is able of these stones to raise up children unto Abraham.

And now also is the axe laid unto the root of the trees: therefore every tree which bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire.

I indeed baptize you with water unto repentance: but he that cometh after me is mightier than I, who’s shoes I am not worthy to bear: and he shall baptize you with the Holy Ghost and with fire.”

These passages are spoken by John the Baptist. It demonstrates that baptism is God’s gift to all. No one is too unclean to be washed along side Christ in the waters of the Jorden.

~

Why do I want to be baptized?

You know I have died, Father. When I was fourteen years old my heart stopped for 112 seconds. One minute and 52 seconds.

But what you may not know, is I saw nothing. Heard nothing. Was nothing. Until I was again.

The last thing I saw in my life was a doctor. A calm, kind man in white. He guided me deeper into the rushing current’s ebbing stillness. He placed a hand on my shoulder and eased me backward into the water.

The silence came up to meet me, to submerge me. I knew how to surrender, and I knew better than to dare draw breath.

What is it to be cleansed if not to be gently tipped back into nothingness, and emerge clean? What is it to be sinless, if not to be nothingness?

I did not emerge clean. I broke the surface of heaven panting and sobbing. The vomit making a bright coral color as it mixed from the blood from my nose.

I know you understand the cold of death, Father. I do not need to try to describe it. It is colder than any water cold be.

I want to be baptized because I know I will emerge clean this time.