#also hello again

If… no, actually, WHEN (I still believe our beloved captain will return; we just have to believe harder) Capitano regains his consciousness, I can tell you with absolute certainty a VERY smug Pulcinella will be signing off on using public funds to peel Pantalone’s body off the streets of Snezhnograd.

I’m afraid all the money in the world can do very little to stop a freshly awakened Capitano who just wants to see his beloved darling!!!! 

Capitano pulls up to Zapolyarny Palace, ready to tell everyone he’s alive and he’s ready to resume his duties!!!! He just wants to go and have a very romantic (very one-sided) reunion with his darling first; that's okay, right guys? Haha…. right? …right? guys…? why do you all look so nervous haha?

On one hand, he is thrilled that you are safe and sound; your safety was the only reason he hesitated to sacrifice himself in Natlan.

He had sent off a missive to Pierro when he had made up his mind to reassure him that you were unaware of any of the Fatui’s inner workings and that he entrusted Pierro to ensure you were looked after in his absence, as well as a letter to hand over to you personally.

Apparently, the message never made it to Zapolynary Palace (weird that…), and with no one able to ask Capitano what he wished to do with his beloved, Pantalone graciously interceded on your behalf (and they say chivalry is dead?)

Capitano will be outraged at Pantalone for taking advantage of his darling’s vulnerability but, being so relieved at being able to hold you in his arms once again, a luxury he believed he would never have again, will allow you to dictate how this goes. The ball is in your park. 

Scenario A: You downplay what happened.

Perhaps you are truly innocent (read: naïve) enough to believe Pantalone was truly trying to save you from a grisly fate and you were able to overlook any… impropriety as Pantalone’s poor attempts at comforting a widow.

Maybe you have even grown fond of Pantalone in the time you’ve spent together; you revelled in his attentions. The constant gifts and doting, the trips and excursions, every tender kiss and caress. His love burned just as fiercely, but maybe you found warmth where Capitano’s flames scorched you.

OR maybe you are just a sadist who likes holding all the cards, and the idea of the richest man in Snezhnaya squirming while trying to piece together your motivations amuses you. The idea of him pacing his office all throughout the night, not getting a lick of sleep while constantly overthinking your motivation.

Was this all some elaborate political game? No Pantalone, it’s just funny to watch you writhe.

Scenario B: You don’t hold back…

Perhaps, Pantalone truly terrified you and were praying for the miracle of Capitano's safe return. After all, the devil you know is better than the one you don't. You knew Capitano's overly reverential love at least ensured your safety from everyone, including himself.

It's also equally possible you considered Pantalone a real annoyance and you want petty vengeance for the countless hours you will never get back where he forced you to perch on his lap as he peppered your forehead in doting kisses while he murmured into your hair line quite possibly the most boring financial theories in excruciating detail.

If it weren’t for his clear proficiency at manipulating conversations and interactions, you would have thought Pantalone was just socially inept.

No matter what social cues you tried to force his way with about as much subtlety as a bull in a china shop (you started with slow, clipped responses. lots of “uh-huh”, “oh”, “wow”, “huh” until after several hours and a sore back later you had started to just outright fake being asleep to TRY and get him to SHUT UP and he. still. kept. talking. Your eyes were shut, breathing deep, pulse slowed. You were putting on a performance that would put the Korolevisky troupe to shame) he simply will not shut up. Murmuring into your hairline for hours with his hot, wet breath, you were surprised when you DIDN'T find a mushroom sprouting out of your forehead when he finally relinquished you at the end of his monologue.

Capitano was delusional in many ways but he was lucid enough to see when he was boring you. But please, don't be mean to the poor Pantalone. He's just so giddy to finally have you that he can't think straight.

He's been pining for you for years, he just wants to tell you all about his grand ideas and complicated theories and for you to "Ooh" and "Aah" and say "wow Feofan, has anyone ever told you how smart and handsome and kissable you are?"

Capitano will sweetly coax you into telling him about ANY questionable touch or whisper or even look. Any inkling of ill intentions, he wants to hear about it.

Pantalone has dishonoured you and taken advantage of you in your hour of need, Capitano needs to exact justice on your behalf.

He doesn't care if you think what you're telling him is stupid or miniscule. Nothing you say is unimportant or insignificant to him.

He will hold you tightly as you tell him all that happened in his absence. He will take you in his arms gently but you can still feel the tenseness in his limbs. He whispers in your ear, reminding you of how brave you are. His words are sincere and sweet but you can hear his voice is strained.

When he tells you he cannot express how sorry he is for leaving you vulnerable to the predatory advances of the unworthy, he means it.

If his body had not been so ravaged by abyssal corruption you are sure you would be able to see bitter tears of regret falling down his cheeks.

If you are a more vindictive darling, you could outright lie if you wished; the proof could sit right in front of Capitano’s face, and he would still refuse to see it.

In his eyes, you are his perfect little angel that does no wrong ever. Anyone who says otherwise is wrong.

He doesn’t care about the facts; there is only one truth Capitano cares about, and that is that his perfect sweet darling would never lie to him. (Apart from the numerous times they have in the past, but he’s not counting those, so stop bringing them up, okay?).

Pantalone is pissed, but he still doesn’t have it in him to be mad at you, the thought of you playing the trickster just endears you to him even more.

Truthfully, He’s more annoyed at your oaf of a husband, Capitano faces off against Ronova and comes strolling back like he just went on a lovely hike through the Natlanese mountains. unbelievable.

I just know Pantalone was seething and malding when he hear Capitano was alive and well after all.

He’s honestly most upset that you think he was such a poor host, a bit embarrassed even. He had been pining and planning for years and fumbled so badly.

Well, no matter. Provided Pantalone has a bit of prep time, there are plenty of strings he can pull. Half of Snezhnaya owes Pantalone a favour, and the other half want him to owe them.

“Tell me, Zandik. Are you not curious about the inner workings of our dear colleague? I’m sure any endeavours to discover them would be exceptionally well funded”

Even if he does not have any prep time, it’s unlikely Pierro will tolerate the harbingers openly feuding, especially over something he sees as so inconsequential as you. He foolishly doesn't see that voicing this sentiment would create the truce he wants (albeit temporarily, where the anger Capitano and Pantalone feel at you being described as inconsequential would be enough to unite and blow Pierro up with their minds)

If they cause too many problems, then Pierro will have to intervene, and then it really could go any way. 

Pierro deeply respects Capitano as a warrior and harbinger, but Pantalone is the beating heart of the Snezhnayan economy. No matter who he says gets to keep you, the other will fight that decision tooth and nail and Snezhnaya will bleed.

Capitano will likely fight it overtly, if you have been wronged in any way, the only order capitano will accept is the tsaritsa's blessing to separate Pantalone's head from his body.

If this ends in anything other than his darling returned to him and him personally ensuring a gruesome end to the man who sought to replace him then he is willing to turn against the fatui.

When he went to face Ronova he went knowing that he would likely never see you again. Now that he has a second chance to be with you, he won't squander that.

On the other hand, Pantalone is no stranger to underhanded measures, they are his bread and butter. Capitano might be physically stronger but Pantalone is unrivalled at manipulation.

Luckily for Pantalone, He's not stupid or proud enough to challenge Capitano to a duel or anything of the sort, growing up in abject poverty allows you to see the true value of your life and makes you far less willing to gamble it when the odds are not stacked in your favour.

So if you feel yourself being pulled out of your bed in the night and carried away by strange men, he knows its all very scary but if you can be brave and keep the screaming to a minimum, at least until he gets you to the safe house, he would be very appreciative.

The familiar sounds of crickets chirping and buzzing throughout the empty field pull you back to reality. You're reminded that the sun will soon rise again, and the stars and the moon that conspired to craft this moment together, will disappear. Your hand returns at your side while hers falls. You can't bear to see the hope in her fade, so you turn your back to her. Just as she thinks you are about to walk away, you speak.

"And what, when the sun rises? What, then?"

You can hear the thick grass rustling beneath her as she stands. Yet, you don't have to listen to the grass any longer as she steps closer because you can feel the tension between your bodies. The same tension you always felt ingering in the silence around the two of you, electrifying and undeniable.

"The sun will rise," she begins in her soft and tempting voice. You don't dare to look back at her. You remain facing away.

"And I will still love you. It will shine gold across this world, and every shadow in the land will be vanquished, and I will still love you. It will bow as the moon ascends and the stars are revealed, and I; I will still love you." The words spill out quicker, and she becomes breathless, as if she didn't speak now, she would never utter a word again.

"You have spoken to me the stories a million times, and I have held onto every word. A dance as old as time, torn apart by that time itself, you said. Just because the sun and mood are destined to pass, does not mean that we are."

Her hand reaches to grasp your arm softly, and the burning in her veins only ignites her desire further. She silently dares the world to try and extinguish it. The fire she felt throughout her body was enough to burn the world for centuries.

"But if the sun shall rise and this disappears I- " you begin, but she interrupts you.

She steps closer, letting her lips scorch your ear, and whispers, "Gold or silver, I will always love you. Stay here, with me. Please."

Your hearbeat surged, hammering against your ribcage. You shouldn't be here. You shouldn't turn to face her. You shouldn't hold her face in your hands. You shouldn't let her wrap her arms around you. You shouldn't lean in when her eyes flick back and forth between your eyes and lips.