man with long hair i will steal your gender

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man with long hair i will steal your gender

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While watching that episode
"Did he just turn into a fucking Ent???"
confession
I might have a thing for >Badass Dads Who Are Actually Soft AF< in video games. oops
Hunt the Bard 1/2: Jaskier is bored and antsy after a long stretch of days snowed in at Kaer Morhen. When the morning dawns bright and clear, he suggests a game to get all of the Witchers outside in the sunlight - just a friendly game of "hunt the bard." Hide and seek around the Kaer Morhen grounds, the prize being whichever Witcher catches him, gets him. All of him.
Hunt The Bard 2/2: Jaskier is delighted, heartbeat pounding, face flushed as he dashes off through the grounds with a count of 100 head start. He can hear Vesemir's voice loud and clear, ringing through the courtyard. His boots slip on the snow and he knows he's leaving an obvious trail of scent and footprints, but it's so FUN to think of all the Witchers hot on his trail and eager for a bit of vigorous sport after long days cooped up inside by the fire...
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This is so lovely. You know what would be fun is a choose your own adventure style fic where we can get all of these! Turn to X page if you’d like.... so:
Chapter 2: Eskel - He edges Jaskier, likes to make him cry, make him say his name, how he’s the best, his cock is the best, he fucks the best (better than Geralt), makes him beg to come and he doesn’t get to for a long, long time, well into the night and the other’s have to put their pillows over their heads to try to drown out the desperate moans and Jaskier’s pleading.
Chapter 3: Lambert - Puts him down on all fours right there, right where he catches him, spit as lube and a hard fuck while he holds Jaskier’s hair tight so he can just pound straight into him (maybe leaving Jaskier wanting so that he’ll have to come back to him later and beg prettilly).
Chapter 4: Ciri + Geralt - She’s hiding behind a corner and grabs him by the arm, using his momentum to swing him up against the wall and wedge a leg between his so he’s riding her thigh on her studded leather pants for some filthy kisses. Then she pulls him along playfully to Geralt’s big bed, pulled into Geralt’s lap with her back to his broad chest, and making Jaskier get between her legs and lick her messily until she comes while Geralt mouths against her shoulder and brushes his beard against her cheek. The two of them fuck while Jaskier watches, slack-jawed, only coming when Geralt says and only after Ciri does a second time. (Or I could kind of go for double penetration there, too, whee.)
Chapter 5: Vesemir - He takes him down to a dungeon room that Jaskier’s never seen before, binds his wrists above his head and slips a blindfold on him for some impact play. He twists in the bonds, not knowing when the next strike will be, gasping when he finally feels Vesemir’s huge hands digging into the hot flesh of his ass, pulling him open and forcing his way inward, making Jaskier raise up on his toes, so tight this way, skin flaming, and all that’s keeping him tethered to the ground is just Vesemir’s bulk behind him, Vesemir’s hands on his hips.