#also alive

Hello! So here’s another snipped to my yet unnamed post Goblet of Fire rewrite that focuses on Harry and Sirius’s relationship, Harry getting support after his traumatic event, Sirius dealing with his own issues and mental health, and obviously Remus/Sirius because... I love them. Here’s part one if anyone’s interested. 

This part takes place after Sirius gets to Remus’s after leaving Harry and fills him in on everything that happened at Hogwarts and with Dumbledore. 

other wip snippets     *     ask me anything!

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“And how are you?” Remus asked softly after Sirius had talked for hours on his fear for Harry.

Sirius laughed, but it was dark and quiet. “I don’t know.”

“Care to try and explain?”

He sighed. “I hate that I’ve let him down.”

“You haven’t,” Remus argued.

“No,” Sirius said. “I have. You didn’t see his face, Remus. He… He practically begged me to take him with me, here or anywhere, and I had to tell him no. And the worst part is, I couldn’t even give him a good reason for it. I mean, if this ‘protection magic’ Dumbledore was so convinced of worked, then why is he having people patrolling Privet Drive? Wouldn’t that call more attention to the place?”

“I don’t know,” Remus admitted, though he was likely only filling the silence Sirius had left behind.

“I just wanted to be someone that Harry could trust, turn to,” Sirius said quietly, wrapping his hands around the cup that sat in front of him, barely touched yet still hot.

“He does trust you.”

I don’t think he truly trusts anyone, Sirius thought to himself but couldn’t bring himself to voice it. He should have been protected, cared for and not abandoned and left to fend for himself. And if Sirius had just taken a few seconds to think of Harry that night years ago when he’d gone after Peter—

“Stop blaming yourself.” Remus reached out and carefully placed his hand on top of Sirius’s.

“I’m not.”

“Yes, you are,” Remus said. “What’s done is done. And Harry knows why you did what you did. But more importantly, you’re there for him now, and at probably one of the lowest parts of his life.”

“I think the night Lily and James died was a lower part,” Sirius said, feeling prickly and tense and exhausted.

“Perhaps in theory,” Remus agreed, removing his hand from Sirius’s. “But he was just a baby. Doesn’t have any real, concrete memories of that night. This, however, this will likely haunt him for a while to come yet.”

Sirius sighed and rubbed at his face. “I don’t know what to do, Remus. I’ve barely had to looked after myself all these years, now I’m supposed to just know what to do with a kid. I don’t want to mess him up.” Like my parents messed me up.