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Harry knows that there were times when the things that he’s done in the past came back to bite him in the ass and more times than not, he steps up to take full responsibility of his deeds like an adult. He knows that most of the time, he does things based on his emotional subconscious instead of practical thinking but he doesn’t regret it one bit because practicality cannot be applied everywhere and some things just need to be thought from the emotional point of view like that one time when he was running late to class and didn’t even have his breakfast which made him stop by a coffee shop near campus for a banana smoothie and some croissant but just as he was about to leave he came across a homeless old man and offered him the breakfast he’d just bought with the remnant of the money he’d saved for the month and attended his classes for the entire day with a growling stomach that infuriated his bench mates for disturbing them. Sometimes he doesn’t think of the consequences of his actions simply because he doesn’t intend to do any foul in the first place. But over the course of time, he’s come to realize that every deed- foul or not needs to be evaluated for its consequences especially if it includes a romantic aspect in it.

And now that she’s standing in front of him with the notorious red carnation that always makes its way into her regular order of flowers, he realizes that he really should’ve thought further into it instead of just diving in with his instincts. He should’ve taken into consideration, the fact that she might doubt it one day, might question his intentions. But he didn’t even have an answer if she were to ask. He only knew that he couldn’t refrain himself from wanting to do something for the girl that he’d grown a liking to. It’s as if his entire heart mushed into a warm, gooey slush when he laid his eyes on her for the first time. He knows there isn’t any such thing as love at first sight but in his case, it was more like an infatuation at first sight, as ridiculous as it sounds.

It was raining cats and dogs as she stepped inside the shop, her navy blue umbrella dripping along her side. An angry, grumpy Vasant was busy cursing the heavy rains for water-logging his Frangipani saplings as he crouched down in front of them to examine each plant while the suction pipe drained the excess water from the pots. The floor of the shop was littered with mud covered boot prints, soil and water all over the place and Harry was busy cleaning it up when the tiny bronze bell chimed to bring Harry’s attention towards the customer who had just entered the shop. She looked a little irritated too; her slightly wet hair pulled back by a high pony tail and a hooded jacket hiding the wet maroon coloured t-shirt clinging to her torso. She stepped forward to assess the variety of flowers, her gumboots thudding along the floor. Harry noticed the wet umbrella drag a line of droplets beside her all over the wooden floor he’d just cleaned dry that had him wincing internally as he saw her hovering awkwardly over a bunch of white lilies and approached her.

 “Hi, do you need any help?”

 “Hello, yes, Oh god! I literally have no idea which flowers to choose. There’s just so many of them here!”

 He chuckled at her confused state and how fiddly she was. Looking at her with a polite smile, he spoke quietly,

“Okay then. Tell me what’s the occasion and let’s see if I can help you pick out some?”

 “Oh that would be great! Thank you. Okay, so I need thirteen bunches of flowers for the old people that I’m going to meet today at the old age home. It’s my first visit there and I want to do something to make them happy.”

 “That’s awesome! Hmm okay lemme see,” he hummed as he churned his brain around to choose the flowers that would best suit her occasion. The first flower that came to his mind was Lavender. Although he thinks that Lavender might not be the best choice since some people can be allergic to its essence and he doesn’t want to take any risks especially with old people. His mind raced further before he was stuck in a conundrum between apple blossoms, violets, lotuses and lilies. At last, he concluded that lilies would be ideal as the colour itself is not very catchy and gives an instant sense of tranquillity when you look at them. When he was satisfied with his decision, he presented her with the idea and explained the importance as well and she agreed with him with a giddy smile plastered on her face and Harry was already slipping away.

The downpour had reduced to a mizzle when she left the shop with her thirteen white lilies and he remembers how a calm-looking Vasant had arrived from the greenhouse after fixing the saplings, whistling to an old Kishor Kumar song.

It was the second time she’d arrived that it was a little less-- chaotic, for lack of a better phrase. It was when she was sporting a lilac cable knit sweater over a pair of black leggings, a back pack hanging on her right shoulder with a pair of headsets hugging her neck and her hair flowing haphazardly all over the place because the wind was a little too strong that morning. It was when he was hooking up a garland he made from various blossoms on the display glass above the vases that held the variety of all-season flowers, that he spotted her walking along the pavement across the street. It was when he recognized who she was with the tiniest of tingles running down his spine that he knew he was positively, absolutely fucked since he was 99% sure he wasn’t going to see her again when she left the first time.

  It was when she lifted her gaze from the road and towards the shop in front of her that she caught him looking at her through the glass for a few seconds before blinking once in silent recognition that she remembered him too before her lips curved into a gentle smile that made the garden of his heart bloom into various colours of happiness.

It was when the smile continued to stretch across her lips as she pushed past the glass door with a little chime from the tiny bell and towards him that had his heart beat repeatedly against his rib cage, hands clammy, nerves getting the best of him. He knows it’s ridiculous to let someone he’s only met once affect him so much but he just can’t help it. Can’t help that he finds her so darn attractive. It’s not because she is the epitome of beauty and elegance, she’s looks like a normal college girl who he wouldn’t even notice if she passed by him on campus. She has a certain quirk in her personality that makes him want to know more about her, yearn for her presence everyday.

 “Hello! Good morning, how are you?” she greeted.

He blinked twice before smiling like a little child who’d just been given some candy as a reward, “I’m good. How about you?”

“I’m fine. Thanks” she mumbled before she glanced around the shop to look for some flowers since there was nothing more the both of them could say.

He jumped down the little ladder with a huff and went around the counter to continue with his daily chores. After a lot of hovering and picking around various flowers and an internal argument about which flowers to choose, she announced that she wanted the same order as last time.

Harry fetched the flowers quickly and arranged them neatly inside the bag and gave it to her, but before that, he came up with the brilliant idea to sneak a red carnation into the bunch as a gift to the lovely lady. Now some would wonder why did Harry choose the carnation specifically? Well it’s because last time she’d visited, he’d heard her mention to Vasant that the ones at their shop are very bright and fresh, unlike any she’s seen before.

She left the shop with the brown paper bag containing her flowers, but this time, a lonely red carnation was sitting inside her khaki paper bag, which was discovered later when she dug her hand into the bag after giving away the last bunch to Miss Meredith. Her hand closed around the deep green stalk of the blooming red carnation lying inside the bag that left her slightly confused because she certainly hadn’t asked for a carnation. She figured that it accidently came with the lot and didn’t think much about it.  As for Harry, his cheeks were blushing like a Dahlia on a sunny day even hours after she’d left. He thought she might question him about the carnation the next time that she would meet him in the shop but she never did and so he kept his little game going on.

  Apparently, she wasn’t someone he could wrap in pretty flowers and muse about for the rest of eternity and he was assuming she wasn’t going to let him pass his way by charming her with pretty flowers and even prettier dimpled smiles and eyes greener than the stalk of the carnation held in her hand.

But he didn’t know the truth. And the truth was that she’d caught up on his little act a long time ago and maybe she was letting it pass in favour of receiving beautiful flowers from the cute stranger with beautiful green eyes and pretty hair held up by multicolour bandanas and even prettier dimples gracing his pretty pink lips. Maybe she was feeling like a school girl on her very first prom dance because she wasn’t used to receiving flowers from the guys that liked her. All the guys she’s been with only either went as far as taking her out on a date only once and have their way with her which is why she never had a serious relationship and which also became the reason why everyone in her college thought she went around sleeping with every single guy in the college like it was some sort of a sick dare. It isn’t exactly a pretty thing to hear about yourself but good for her, she’s come to not give a single fuck about the people around her and mostly likes to keep to herself. But this guy seemed genuinely nice to her and for the first time she thought he could be someone she could trust and talk to. It felt like she was living in the 70s or 80s when there were no easy text messages to ask a girl for a coffee date and when people would gift each other pretty flowers, maybe write love letters when they miss each other and yearn for their presence. Maybe she knew she was thinking beyond time and maybe beyond her luck too- for all of this could take a much unexpected turn and he could be a prankster or maybe just another disgusting frat boy that woos girls to get into their pants. But she would like to look at the bright side and just hope for something positive to come out of it. But what was she hoping for? Hoping for him to build the courage and ask her out so that they can begin their sweet little college romance soon? Maybe she was, but there was one thing that had her in doubt- why was he not taking the efforts to take this further? Every time she visited the shop, she would hope for some progress- something, anything that would indicate he’s really into her and this is not just her mind playing games with her when he clearly doesn’t have any such intentions. But how can that be possible?  He’s the only person other than the owner who works in the shop, so he definitely must be the one to pack all the orders. If it were a mistake, how is it that she’d always get the same flower- just the one; not two nor three, only a lonely red carnation shining brightly among the white lilies in her brown paper bag. And if it’s not, then why the hell isn’t he doing anything about it?  They’ve known each other for some time now, she met him on campus a couple of times, and she feels a definite sort of attraction towards him, god if he only were to confess that he liked her just as much.

All these thoughts are making her antsy and maybe she’s thinking of putting an end to this little game and confront him about the flowers. So she does what her brain tells her to- to sort things out instead of wasting time on hide and seek. Maybe if she brings on the topic of the flowers, there’s a teeny tiny chance that he might try to take things further and if she’s lucky he might even ask her out.

***

“Um… Harry?” she questions as he just stands there gaping at the flower in her hand.

He breaks out of the trance quickly, “Huh? Uhh… yeah. Wh-what were you talking about again, love?” he asks with pulling a confused expression.

She frowns confusingly and tries to read his expressions because she’s kinda sceptical whether he’s being serious or not. His face seems like he is trying very hard to act but she continues nonetheless, “The flo-”

Harry cuts in, “Yeah- yeah the flowers, what about them? Did I not pack them correctly? Must’ve missed something, I’m sorry. I’ll get them ready for you right away! You just wait here, I’ll be right back”

He rambles on as he withdraws himself from the counter and moves around and away from her but she is too quick to block his way and looks at him confused as to why he is behaving so differently. Harry knows then and there that she’s not going to leave without an answer but he can’t give her one today. She is looking into his eyes questioningly and all he wants to do is to wipe away the furrow of her eyebrows gently with the pads of his fingers, plant kisses all over her face and tell her how he feels about her. But he can’t. He can’t because he’s very scared to tell her how he feels, he’s never confessed his love to anyone and he doesn’t even know how to do it and he’s 99% sure he’s never going to be able to because he knows he’s going to fuck it up real good, which is why he tries to look anywhere but towards her but it seems to be a little difficult because she is standing very close to him. He knows he has got to find an excuse to drive her away because he isn’t in the right state of mind to get rejected by the only girl he’s developed a crush on and his mind suddenly graces him with an idea he hopes would be convincing.

He knows what he’s about to say is going to ruin his chances of being with her badly and he will have to convince himself to forget about her and their future together. His own heart breaks into a million pieces and it takes every ounce of energy left in his body to say it to her so he takes a deep breath and speaks carefully with a tight smile,

“The carnations were complementary with the lilies because the shop is giving an offer- if someone buys ten or more flowers, they get one free,” he takes a pause and says,

“nothing else” with a shrug as if she really wasn’t anything different than a regular customer to him, as if he didn’t dream about her at night, as if he didn’t anxiously wait for her to arrive at the shop only so he could bless himself with a few cherished moments of their interaction and think about it until he sees her again, as if he wouldn’t give her the world if she asked him.

He’s aware that he went and destroyed the only thing that gave him hope and happiness and made him smile like a little kid but he’d rather take that instead of facing rejection from her. It will take some time but he will forget about her, he will have to. After all, she’s just a crush, nothing else.

The frown on her face quickly dissolves into something he can’t quite understand but he can tell she’s shocked which is another thing he can’t understand because he knows she doesn’t like him and would definitely give him a piece of her mind if he ever tells her he likes her. He only wants to make it easier and save both of them from the awkwardness that would ensue if she doesn’t reciprocate the same feelings as him which he is also 99% sure- she doesn’t. The last thing he sees is the silent look of hurt in her eyes before she’s stepping away from him like she cannot bear to stand in the same room as him.

“Right… Of course. I just wanted to know, ‘kay then, bye.” She picks up her bag and glides through the door and out of the shop in a second without even listening to his reply, which he doesn’t think he could’ve conjured and when he looks down dejectedly pinching the bridge of his nose sharply, his eyes fall on to the lonely red carnation lying sadly on the counter. The white lilies are gone but the carnation is left behind, its stalk a little damaged due to the constant handling and the petals on the verge of turning a dark crimson.

If he already wasn’t feeling shitty, he thinks he is about to throw himself into guilt pit when he sees Vasant sitting in a corner looking at him for a second before shaking his head with a disappointed sigh. He should be feeling good about himself now that he’s cleared the fog and saved himself from a potential heartbreak but there’s an underlying sadness he can’t place a finger on but as he sits at the counter waiting for the next customer to arrive, his mind keeps going back to thinking how hurt and wounded she looked when he’d said those words to her- like she was hoping to hear something else from him. He tries to brush away the thoughts because there’s no use thinking about all the what ifs now that he’s asserted that he doesn’t like her, she is never going to be his and it’s best for the both of them if he tries to control his emotions hence forth.

Harry feels like shit. He was already feeling shitty enough but now his mouth feels shitty too because of the beer Nick fed him. Nick had insisted that he should get piss drunk for the night to make him forget about this girl when Harry came back to the frat house with a sad, pouty face. Nick knew right away H was being completely serious and offered him his favorite bottle of beer he’d kept hidden in his shelf as a way to let out all of his emotions. Harry had been wary at first because he’d only once tasted beer and that had been it because he isn’t too fond of the taste. He prefers wine but he thinks he’ll have to make do with the beer since it’s the only thing they have at the moment.

Harry is sitting at the foot of his bed, head leaning against the end of the mattress. He’s alone in the house; the rest of the boys are off to a party at some sorority and Nick having left a few minutes prior because his boyfriend called him and suggested a sleepover at his place. He offered to stay but Harry shooed him away because he didn’t want to disrupt their plans. Harry peeks out of the window and sees some people taking walks, some of them are drunk- like him, stumbling into their houses laughing and cracking jokes. He plops back on to the bed- spreading his arms and legs like a starfish over the mattress. His eyes roam around the room and he sees nothing but darkness. It feels like his room is the only dark place while everything else around him is colorful- full of life. His eyes see the darkness but his ears can hear the distant prattle down the house. He wonders if his life feels the same too- while everyone else around him is enjoying their life, falling in love, going to parties with friends, he’s stood frozen in one spot- watching time slip away from his hands like sand in an hourglass. He knows he is responsible for all of this. He knows he will never be able to enjoy his life if he keeps shutting himself from people but the thought of confessing his feelings to someone makes him really nervous. Letting someone see him in his most vulnerable, sensitive state is not something he does quite often. Even in high school, he didn’t really have a large group of friends neither did he have a girlfriend. Some girls thought he was cute and would come to talk to him but his awkward and clumsy behavior always drove them away and he never really took any effort to chase them because none of those girls fascinated him.  

Now that he thinks about it, he wonders what would’ve happened if he chose to tell her how he felt earlier that day. Maybe she would’ve told him apologetically that she doesn’t feel the same and he should rather just move on and find someone else or maybe, maybe- his heart leaps in his chest with just the thought of it and he giggles to himself. Maybe, she would look at him, all surprised and break into giggles as sweet as little child’s laugh. Maybe she would give him the brightest of smiles and tell him she likes him too, that she was only waiting for him to make the first move because she too, was nervous and unsure of everything, just like him. Maybe they would go to a little coffee shop for some cappuccino and spend some time talking about anything random that comes to their minds. Maybe he would drop her off at her dorm later and maybe she would kiss him good night at the entrance of her building. Maybe they would get all shy and flustered at each other and promise to meet the next day and the day after that and maybe every day after that. The thought alone makes him so happy that it hurts to even think about it. It hurts because it’s too good to be true, at least for him.

But he thinks, if he really would’ve taken a chance, what was it that he were to lose? Maybe she would never see him again or maybe they would still continue to talk like everything was normal. There was a risk, yes but the outcome would be totally worth the risk. If he only had enough courage.

*****

Harry checks his watch for the millionth time since the past hour. It’s been more than half an hour and she’s not here yet. It’s not like her to show up late. All these days she’s been coming here, she’s never been late. It’s usually just a couple of minutes give or take, never half an hour or more. He knows he isn’t going to be able to look her in the eye until he can stop thinking about her in that way but he hopes she doesn’t entirely stop coming to the shop. He’s a little worried about her but he can’t do anything about it. Should he text her and ask her? No, it would get really weird if she says she isn’t going to come to the shop again. He’s getting anxious thinking about her even though he’s trying not to. He’s spent the past few days trying to erase her thoughts from his brain but frantically stressing about like this+ is not helping him any.

****

“What? Oh that’s- that’s just bad. I didn’t know about this.” he said thoughtfully.

“Yeah, I know. She only texted me this morning before she left. I couldn’t even ask her much because I woke up late and she was gone by the time I read the message.”

“Oh. She really must be in a hurry. She mentioned it to me once that Meredith was one of her favorite people there. Must’ve been really hard for her.”

“Yeah, I guess. Alright, see you later. Bye Harry.”

“Yeah, sure. Bye” He waved at her roommate as she walked away for her classes. Harry was about to start his classes for the day after completing his shift at the shop when he ran into her roommate on his way to the lecture hall. She hadn’t shown up the entire time of his shift which left him worried because she never missed any Saturdays and he thought she would at least inform them beforehand to cancel the order if she were to do so. He wasn’t sure earlier, if the reason behind her absence was him but now that he met her roommate, he knows why she didn’t come to the shop to get the flowers.

*****

She knows that life can be tough sometimes, that there will be phases in her life where she will want nothing more than to just lay in bed and sleep the days away until everything gets better and that is exactly what she wants to do now- to coop herself in her room and hide from the world and its duties until her problems have gone away but she can’t, she just can’t. Even if he she can try to ignore Harry, she’s aware she cannot run away from Meredith. How can she, when there’s no Meredith to begin with.

A loud ring blaring from her phone made her wake up with crusty, irritated eyes at 4:27 in the morning. She hadn’t even read the number and only pressed the answer button to place it to her ear. The micro second delay that happened between her saying hello and the person on the other end replying, her mind somewhere hoped that it was Harry but the thought quickly vanished when the manager from the old age home spoke with a sad undertone and she stilled instantly when she thought of the first possible reason behind his call. She remained frozen as he spoke quietly about how Miss Meredith Walker passed away in her sleep because of a mild heart attack. He said they’d found out about it when Miss Matilda, her friend woke up to get some water and saw that she wasn’t breathing.

Tears continue to pool down her cheeks as she sits on the bench outside the old age home and rewinds the call again and again and how everyone looked absolutely devastated when she arrived here in the morning. She tried to calm them down but there was only so much she could do that would keep her from breaking into tears. She tries to recollect the latest memories of Meredith and the moments they’d spent together. Meredith was one of those people who never grew old despite their age, she thought. She would always engage the younger girl- much of her possible granddaughter’s age, in various stories from her childhood and her youth as well. She would ramble about all the guys she’d fallen in love with and all their stories and oh! that one specific soldier from the civil war who’d almost gotten her to marry him (he even got her a pretty ring to propose) but she knew she wasn’t the one to settle down. She’d travelled a lot of places over the course of her life. She would stay at one place as long as she wished but she never thought of spending the entirety of her life at a particular place, she would leave whenever she felt like it but she didn’t know Meredith would do this to them, to her, of all people.  

The funeral would begin soon after all the arrangements are done which is why she is waiting outside along with some other people. She doesn’t notice when someone sits beside her as she’s busy sniffling with her head down and only registers a figure in her peripheral vision. She moves to make some space for the person as she slides a little towards the end of the bench.

“Hey…”

At first, she doesn’t think what she thinks is happening but it’s hard to not believe what she’s thinking is true. The voice is way too familiar for her to not recognise who it belongs to but the possibility of them being here is what makes it unbelievable.

His heart breaks when he sees how tired and sad she looks. Her eyes are red and swollen from the relentless crying. She’s looking at him almost unbelievably and it seems as if she’s almost about to start crying again, her eyes brimming with tears. His lips curve into a sympathetic smile and it’s enough for her to start tearing up again. She doesn’t know if it’s her emotions that have mushed her brain or that she’s relieved to see him there after being alone for the past two hours or that he took the efforts to come here just for her but she throws herself into his arms as if he’s the only person in the world who could understand her pain. He is surprised because of the unexpected gesture but soon wraps his arms around her while she buries her head in his shoulder, wetting his shirt with her tears. He cards his fingers through her hair until she has calmed down and isn’t trembling anymore. She withdraws herself from him and wipes her face with the damp tissue she’s clutching in her hand.

“I’m sorry” she says in a croaky voice.

“It’s okay, I can understand” he trails off. He knows she’s still confused as to why and how he found her so he continues,

“Abigail told me what happened” he says scratching the back of his neck. She nods thoughtfully.

Her sniffles have stopped and Harry is glad he could distract her enough for he doesn’t know how long she’s been crying and he is also glad he came here, knowing he can take care of her. He relaxes against the bench as she gulps down the water he’d brought her. After a few minutes of messing with his phone, he slides it back in his pocket and turns to look at her. She’s staring at him with big eyes as if he did the best thing he could’ve ever done for her, silently trying to convey that she’s grateful to have his company. He squeezes her hand in return knowing his decision of coming here today was the best thing he’s done in a while.

*****

The funeral takes longer than they expected and they end up spending the entire day at the old age home. She gets sad some more but fortunately Harry stays by her side the entire time and she doesn’t question him when he doesn’t make any move to leave earlier. As they leave the old age home together, Harry takes her to a nearby diner since he knows she hasn’t eaten anything. Even though she isn’t as talkative as she normally is, he is glad that she’s at least opened up more as compared to earlier. He makes sure she’s well fed and hydrated before they leave the diner to go home.

The route is short but it’s pretty dark as they walk alongside each other. The pair is quiet as they both think about just how exhausting the day was- both physically and emotionally. She doesn’t how to thank him for being with her the whole day even if he had no reason to, not to mention how caring he had been towards her. They haven’t talked much throughout the day, only interacting with glances and gestures, at least not until they’ve returned from the funeral. He tried to cheer her mood by talking about any random things and it worked a little. She notices that she’s been staring at him and not in front of her this whole time when he looks down at her a little confused.

“What?” he chuckles quietly.

She smiles and shakes her head, sighing and moving her gaze back towards the road in front of them when she speaks, “Nothing. I’m just glad you came today, don’t know how I would’ve handled everything otherwise.”

He smiles, “I didn’t do anything special, just thought you’d need someone with you. It’s always better to share your sorrows with someone” and grabs her hand slowly, intertwining their fingers together firmly when she doesn’t protest. He’s blushing furiously because he’s never done this with anyone but thanks to the darkness of the night, she isn’t able to see that. He feels lightheaded and fuzzy and his brain is getting mixed up with all these things he is feeling right now.

He knows it’s not the right moment, but for the first time ever, he feels like he has the courage to tell her how he feels and maybe he is tired and exhaustion is making his brain go haywire but he can’t help but think that this is the right moment to tell her what he’s been thinking for the past week and even before that. He’s spent the entire week training his brain not to think about her but that only makes him miss her even more than usual. He’d rather take a friendly relation with her instead of losing her completely or so he thought. Turns out that it’s pretty hard to get over a crush and he isn’t particularly a master in doing that and now he’s thinking of taking the million dollar risk and just go with it.

“Hey, can I say something?” he almost whispers. Everything around them is quiet and she is very close to him and he’s glad he doesn’t have to speak out loud because even though he feels confident, there’s still a fragment of him that’s terrified of expressing himself.

She hums distractedly and urges him to continue. He clears his throat and begins,

“I- I just want to say that… umm you know the other day you asked me about the extra flowers you get every time? I- I lied about it being the shop’s discount offer…”

“What do you mean?”

He groans but proceeds nonetheless, “I mean I lied to you, there’s no such offer,” he takes a deep breath and feels a déjà vu from the last time he told her about the flowers but he knows this isn’t similar to last time. This is when he is going to tell her how he really feels about her. He doesn’t care if she says she doesn’t like him back, he will still be satisfied with himself for not running away from his feelings and accepting how he really feels about her.

“The- the flowers, they were for you, from me.”

He doesn’t realise exactly when they’ve stopped walking and he also doesn’t notice when she’s turned to look at him fully but he looks at her as she gazes up at him. She has her attention focused on him when he says,

“The flowers were for you, from me because I really like you a lot and thought maybe I should do something for you.”

Her eyes stay blank for a second until they go wide and then she’s scrunching her face with an annoyed expression as if he said something funny even though it wasn’t funny at all in the first place and before he knows he gets smacked on his upper arm once, and then again and again until she’s hitting him forcefully with both her hands.

“Wh- hey, wh- what-”

“Idiot! Stupid! Dumbass! I hate you, I absolutely hate you! You’re an idiot. Why did your dumbass wake up now and decide to do this?! That too now? At such an inconvenient moment!” she says violently. Her hitting has stopped but she still looks fairly annoyed.

“Hey! Hey! stop it alright? I’m sorry, I know it’s not the most ideal condition for me to confess my feelings but I just- I-”

You just what? Tell me, you just what?! Why did you not say this last week then, you dumb idiot!”

I just… I was really nervous”, he says in a small voice and a pouty face looking down at his old Nike sneakers.

“I was nervous because I didn’t know if you liked me too and honestly I didn’t want to make fun of myself in front of you.”

She sighs in response and speaks in a quiet voice as she resumes walking, “I hate you, you’re an idiot. This is such a wrong time to say this. Do you even know how bad this past week has been for me just because you didn’t have the guts to tell me you liked me too? Not just that, neither did you have the eyes to know if I liked you too…”

He breaks out into a huge smile as he carefully thinks about what she’s said, his heart leaping out of his chest. He still cannot believe that she just admitted she likes him too and he needs a minute to digest the fact and let it sink in every inch of his brain. He sees that she’s already walking a fair distance away from him so he jogs up to her and says cheekily,

“So… does that mean you feel the same about me?”

She looks at him with an amused expression because she is certainly not used to this cheeky, flirty version of him that he’s kept hidden from her for so long. She’s always seen him being shy and composed and quiet so it’s definitely refreshing to see him open up this way. Unknowingly, a tiny smile creeps up on her face as she looks at him before taking a deep breath to compose herself,

“Hmm I don’t know about that Mr.Styles. It’s not that easy to find out, you’ll have to try harder” she quips.

He only chuckles, shaking his head. He grasps her hand again, “I’m sorry. I know I should’ve said this earlier.”

She smiles, “that and you need to work on your timing as well. It’s not exactly ideal to tell a girl you like her just after attending a funeral with her.”

He groans loudly looking up at the sky, “I’m gonna have to hear this for a long time ahead, don’t I?”

She giggles as she swings their hands back and forth, “You bet your ass on that.”

They arrive near her dorm building and see some students lingering outside studying, taking walks, some are just returning back from frat parties and whatnot. They both receive curious glances from some people as they walk hand in hand and she’s pretty sure their curiosity leans more towards her rather than harry because this might be the first time she’s actually held a guy’s hand in public, a contrast to her previous encounters. She knows better than not to focus on those people who would only believe rumours rather than facts so she ushers harry forward quickly ignoring any lingering glances.

“Pretty weird, aren’t they?” harry says as they stop in front of her building.

“Leave them be, they always gotta find something to chew on to.”

He smiles at her as he pushes his hands in the front pockets of his jeans.

“Alrighty then, it’s pretty late. I should be leaving.” He smiles.

She frowns, “Are you gonna walk by yourself at this hour? You look tired, stay the night at mine.” She gestures towards her building.

He agrees that he is tired and he actually really didn’t want to leave her and walk by himself all alone.

“Are you sure? What about your roommate? I don’t think she would like having me there.”

“Oh, don’t worry about her. She’s off to some rock concert and she told me she won’t be back until tomorrow morning. So it’s just us.”

It’s only after she’s finished her sentence that she realises the implications of it. He raises his eyebrows quickly, acting surprised. “Is there something on your mind?”

She rolls her eyes “I could really ask you to fuck off right now instead of offering you to stay, so just shut up and come with me.” She tries not to smile at his behaviour but it’s harder than she thought.

“Woahh calm down, alright? I’ll come with you.”  

Both of them are laughing at each other as they go up to her room. If someone were to tell him this morning that he’d be staying the night with her in her room, he would’ve laughed at them but it feels incredible how the day has changed their dynamic and again he’s glad he chose to do what he did today.

The pair get ready for bed and she offers him a pair of her joggers which fortunately fits him and an oversized t shirt that probably belongs to her dad and they stay up for a little while talking about absolutely nothing and everything at the same time. She tells him more about Meredith and her adventures as they settle down in her small bed and they can’t help but feel sleepy but before they drift into a deep sleep, she reaches out and unties the bandana from around his head, shakes his curls free and almost melts at the way they fluff around her fingers, soft and smooth and just so him. His eyes flutter open for a second before he smiles sleepily at her and pulls her back to him and they eventually fall asleep with their legs tangled together and the comforter thrown messily over their bodies.