alright. i am rather infamous in my circles for having a broken angst meter. and by that i mean i love angst. i love reading it, i love writing it, and when something is angsty, i often don’t have the “expected” reaction. as in, im like this isn’t that angsty.
however. What I Wouldn’t Give by @adertily fucking broke me. i had to put a pause on writing my angsty longfic after i read this. i had to pause my membership in team sharavalms (an angst-supporting squad) because i was just. too. sad. but this fic is fucking amazing. it is so well-written. like genuinely so amazing and so realistic.
also before i dive in, i wanted to greatly appreciate adertily for the comments that she leaves. they’re always so long and so thoughtful and i really love them.
spoilers for What I Wouldn’t Give under the cut!
to start, i can’t talk about What I Wouldn’t Give without talking about She’ll be enough by @alms4oblivion. adertily credits it as a direct inspiration, and honestly, i see it 100%. i love love love She’ll be enough, and alms is a very important part of team sharavalms. it’s a wonderful fic that analyzes zoey’s character. and adertily saw that and said “hold my beer.”
everything about WIWG is so unbearably sad. because it’s all just grief and longing and pain. because all three of them wanted each other but didn’t want to scare the other person(s) away. and then they respect each other’s boundaries too much to do anything more tahn that. they are all so wonderfully human and so wonderfully complicated. adertily does a perfect job at using zoey as an unreliable narrator. because we’re seeing things through her eyes, so we’re forced to take her word for it, even though her perception is warped from years of distancing herself from her soulmates.
when zoey’s memory of moving out of the penthouse happened, my heart shattered. and this was like. chapter 2 of an 11 chapter fic. they’re all longing for each other so hard but they just think that they can’t have it.
and holy fuck the way that i haven’t even talked about the main thrust of this fic. zoey being pregnant and calling the child her nibling because she thinks she’s only going to be auntie zoey killed me over and over again. her not reaching out for help murdered me dead.
i just. i cannot do this fic justice because i can’t reread it because it will hurt too much. please be on the lookout for more analyses from much smarter people. but know that this fic devastated me and thank the fucking lord it has a happy ending. and what a wonderful happy ending it is.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
âś“ Live Streamingâś“ Interactive Chatâś“ Private Showsâś“ HD Qualityâś“ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
