#almost doesn't count

Almost made you cry

Almost made you happy, babe

Didn't I? Didn't I?

You almost had me thinking

You were turned around

But everybody knows

Almost doesn't count

Almost heard you saying

You were finally free

What was always missing for you, babe

You found it in me

But you can't get to Heaven

Half off the ground

Everybody knows

Almost doesn't count

I can't keep on loving you

One foot outside the door

I hear a funny hesitation

Of a heart that's never really sure

Can't keep on trying

If you're looking for more

Than all that I could give you

Than what you came here for

Gonna find me somebody

Not afraid to let go

Want a no-doubt-be-there kind of man

You came real close

But every time you built me up

You only let me down

But everybody knows (everybody knows)

Almost doesn't count (almost doesn't count)

ohh

(Hey) ooh, everybody knows

(Hey) yeah, yeah, yeah

(Hey-yeah)

(Hey) can't keep on, baby

(Hey) can't keep on trying

Everybody knows (everybody knows)

Almost doesn't count

I can't keep on loving (woo-woo) you

One foot outside the door

(I) I hear a funny hesitation (ooh)

Of a heart that's never (never) really sure

Can't keep on trying (no no)

If you're looking for more

Than all that I could give you

Than what you came here for

Maybe you'll be sorry

Maybe you'll be cold

Maybe you'll come running back, babe

From the cruel, cruel world

Almost convinced me

You're gonna stick around

But everybody knows (everybody knows)

Almost doesn't count

So maybe I'll be here

Maybe I'll see you around

That's the way it goes

Almost doesn't count

five times where they almost fall in love, and the one time they actually did.

“Almost Doesn’t Count”

Daredevil #59 (439) (June 2004)

Brian Michael Bendis, Alex Maleev and Matt Hollingsworth

When I was about twelve, my partner already had a girlfriend when I started dating them. I found out the truth because I was friends with their sister, and she told me. I gave them back their ring, and I remember just sitting there staring coldly into space while my partner cried on their knees, begging to know what they did wrong. I was baffled by their tears. Why were they so hurt? I was the one who had been lied to and used. But they were crying like I had no right to be sad or angry.

When I refused to acknowledge their existence, they started sitting behind me on the school bus every day, loudly insulting me. Their sadness turned to anger. My anger turned to sadness. Because I went home and cried everyday.

Almost all my relationships were like this. My "girlfriend" in my twenties was already married. I kept attracting these people because there was a lesson I needed to learn -- one of self-respect and self-love. And because it took me so long to learn it, I had to become Miss Independent, the Queen of Swords, someone who could coldly cut someone off in a heartbeat to survive that emotional anguish.

In the end, that was to my detriment. My heart became closed off, and that made it difficult for people to love me. And now here I am, trying to be a better person, trying to heal from all that trauma.

What an utterly human, flawed mess am I.