#allthestuffandeverything

This basically sums up my thoughts on the song and the tiktok. I haven't looked at any other videos of the song and haven't listened to the song since.

The song really is just for thin people, and that's made clear by the tiktok the singer made for it where only conventionally attractive thin women are shown until the very end where they finally show a single fat person and physically disabled person. The song doesn't actually do much to fight systemic fatphobia and just feels like a song about "feeling fat" and thin people's body image.

I'm also tired of hearing about thin people's body insecurities because they almost always are just fatphobic thoughts that they expect to receive pity for and the solution always used is to reassure thin people of their thinness. It's just continuing to demonize fat bodies.

Even the song Fat Funny Friend is fatphobic since the lyric video makes it clear that it was written by a formerly fat person and the video ends with happy imagery of them now thin, implying that their fat body was Bad and true happiness cannot be obtained until a person has obtained thinness. I do sometimes listen to the song and try to ignore that aspect of it because there's so little fat representation that I have to take what I can get, but it's still not great.

If you want a song that actually addresses fatphobia, is by fat people, and isn't secretly "Thin is better," then I suggest Shrink by Chub Rub:

It really lacks understanding and compassion. A lot of grandmas in that situation came from poverty or cultures where it was important that no one go hungry even if they the host went hungry.

Calling it "food pushing" just takes the humanity out of it.

That said when people refuse to listen when you tell them "no" can be really intimidating. Many people have talked about the way family will "push food" but then turn around and comment on their bodies. Does noom give advice for that because I havnt seen it?

I guess tldr it's frustrating to me because any nuance is taken out and doesn't really help the interpersonal dynamics where a matriarch feels its her Job and a sign of her providing properly.

What do yall do to cope with it or address it (depending on ur family dynamics ofc). I've been switching between ignoring it/changing the subject, and outright saying "it's a time to enjoy food with family, not to feel guilty about food".

Would love to hear your input on this topic if u have the spoons!

Mod squirrel:

Those would be exactly what I'd suggest! Redirect, remove and remorse. Redirect convo, remove yourself and make em feel remorse for being caught up in something ignorant when it's supposed to be a fun time.

I've been using midsize to describe myself to avoid talking over larger folks - but I saw a post saying that is harmful because it's acting like they don't want to be associated with fat ppl.

I tried to find more info and found a chart saying I should be using the term small fat to describe myself instead of midsize.

If u have the spoons, can u explain what this is about?

I've never heard of the term midsize being fatphobic. I have heard of a fat person here or there against the idea of midsize being an identity, but I've always seen that as just exclusionism.

Midsize people are people who are not fat but also aren't exactly thin either. They're different from small fat people who are fat but on the smaller end of the spectrum. So a woman of average height who shops in the women's section of a store, if they wear an XL, they might be midsize. If the woman's size is more like a 2XL, they're probably a small fat person.

It's difficult to put set definitions on it since everyone's body is different. A person could wear a medium but be very short and thus be fat, for instance. I know someone who is I think under 120 pounds but is about 5' or 5'2", so she's actually a little chubby and I would possibly call her midsize. As you can see, clothing size or weight isn't always the be all end all criteria for whether someone is midsize or fat.

If you don't have body dysmorphia, looking at yourself in the mirror might help you better determine this. Do you look like the wide range of fat bodies posted on fat positive blogs? Then you're probably fat. If you don't think your body quite matches the sizes of the people on blogs like this one, then you might be midsize.

And of course, your body can always change. I'm fat now but was midsize in high school because I had unhealthily lost weight out of a desire to conform. I wasn't fully skinny, but I still felt separated from fatness to a degree. I was in between.

I hope this helps! I know the desire to find a label can be strong, but know that you don't have to figure something like this out right away.