#allrights

I did a gif with my process for my graphic novel. Written and illustrated by me :3

I hope you like.

All rights reserved.

ALL WRITTEN BY ME ♡

Well, how can I start this? There’s a lot to talk about, even though I know something will slip from my mind, but I’m having a lot going on right now so don’t blame me haha. I guess I cold start with my name? Is that even relevant? I don’t know, okay, my name is Mariana, and this..this is a little of what’s in my heart for you guys.

I’m currently writting this at 2:30 am, wich only makes it weirder, expect weird stuff.

Okay, I think I can really start now. Today, well damn, today is a hell of a day. In a good way, wonderful way, July 23rd 2015. Wow, what a date am I right? Such an importante day in your lives, and ours too!  The day you were officially the big One Direction, that sounds crazy to me. I’ll just warn you here, it’s gonna get lame, but truly from my heart. Everyone usually says that I have a warm and sensible heart, easy to break, easy to fix. And you are inside it somehow, since the first day I saw you. Woah, that’s a thing I remember pretty well. I wasn’t there since the begining, I didn’t knew you in 2010, but that doesn’t change shit on how much I love you. Believe me. I’m pretty sure that not being there since the begining it’s just a detail, but of course it’s good if a directioner was there and still is here today. What defines someone as a directioner to me is that directioners will stay. They’ll stay til the end, loving you as much or even more than they do now. Those are my family, I have lovely memories with them. Hoping to create much more. But I’m losing the point I wanted to make here. So, anyways, the day I first saw you. I was little and still had all those kid dreams and everything. I think I just had left a health clinic for some routine checking thing (?) So, my dad drove to a friend’s house to chat for a bit so I went to the living room where her daughter, a bit older than me, was watching some vídeos on youtube. I sat next to her and she looked at me and noticed that I was staring at the computer screen, so she asked me if I wanted to hear the song she was listening to. I nodded, I mean why the hell not? The music started playing, along with the vídeo, it as all black and white and five boys entered a music room. I automatically smiled, I actually thought it was gonna be those boring and lame love songs. But it was actually really good. The song was called “Little Things”. I was enjoying every verse of the lyrics, even though I didn’t knew much english at the time. All those boys looked super cute to me, and she then started showing me more pictures of them. I then knew they were called, One Direction. That all started there, in that living room, with that song, that vídeo, those boys.

I can surely say that I am fucking greatfull, you know why? Because I grew up to the boys in the stairs, I watched all of their video diaries over and over again, til I basically knew what the’d say after each other. I watched as many interviews as I could click on, also replaying most of them. And quickly I became what you can cal a directioner. I also gotta thank you guys, because I learned basically all my english with you. Not in school, really it was you. That’s fucking great isn’t it?

And then there’s a lot more, all of a sudden there’s a lot going on. But I got used to that in this fandom. I got used to your girlfriends, I got used to the stupid dramas, I got used to the hate. And slowly it all started to be normal and casual. Wich is actually really good.

But there’s this only one thing (woo music reference there) that still bothers me, sexuallity. Always the same shit, in interviews for exemple, always making those sneaky questions about secuallity. I’m talking to Harry right now, Hazz I love you a lot, and I do not care about what people will say about it. You are you, one of the most amazing, down to earth persons (people) that I’ve seen. I’m greatfull you have the power to change thigns, to help others. That’s amazing, isn’t it. But anyways, what I mean here is that, your sexuallity won’t make me unlike you or like you more. I love you. That’s it. Nothing could possibly change it. So doesn’t matter if you’re straight, gay, bissexual, pansexual, ansexual (hope you get it haha).

I didn’t even talked about the up all nights, the days andnights I didn’t studied because I was distracted by you or something, the small little details that made it better.

I gotta thank social networks, for making me be able to have some sort of connection with you.

I’m really happy and greatfull to say that I’ve seen you live at least once. Here in Portugal, last summer. You did amazing as always. Made everyone crazy with your voices and way of being. You funny little shits, I love you.

How many times have I said that till now?

AND YOU ARE GREAT DANCERS, I’M SERIOUS GUYS REALLY :D

What makes me even happier is the fact that I didn’t because I wanted to, at my own, I started to get to know those five boys. Niall, Harry, Liam, Louis and Zayn. I started enjoying all of their songs, knowing the lyrics by heart. Being excited everytime a new song came out, watching new music vídeos, spending my days breaking view records and voting my ass out. All because I loved this boys, a lot. And I still do, and I believe I will always love them. Because they’re my reason to scream, to smile, to cry, to dance, to sing the shit out of the lyrics til I eventually can’t speak anymore, to full my family and friends with their songs or facts. Even though they didn’t care, I kept being happy, you kept me happy. I gotta thank you for that, a big Thank you boys.

But I’m not fisnished yet. Are you still there? Still reading? Well, I’m happy if so. There’s s many little details that changed my life, to better. So much happened since these boys came to my life and stayed there for what seems forever? I’m guessing yes. But, even if that day comes, the day when I’m older and maybe don’t freak out like a little fangirl when their songs come on the radio, I’ll still remeber those guys, those heroes. The ones who were there when nobody else was. Since the first day, I knew they weren’t just a boyband, they were something bigger. They were the boys that came to X-Factor with a dream and left with the World. I’m so fucking proud of you guys. I can’t even describe my own emotions. I cried so many times, laughed so many times, caught myself smiling for what I thought was no reason, but was you. All the time, it was you. And it still is. It makes me happy to think you’re still here. Today, you’re still playing concerts. Still a band. Even without him.

Well, this is the part when I finally get there, took time but I’m here now. Zayn. Wow, there’s a lot to talk about when it comes to Zayn. I can start off by sying that I truly loved him, love him today and always will love him. Because he’s not in One Direction now, but he was, and that made me happy for a long time. I gtta be thankfull for that. He’s a great person, I know him. Always in his own way to be, and his own world. But, his own world had his four brothers, he never forgot about them. I believe he’ll never do. Maybe I’m wrong, but I’ll prefer to think like this. Because, again, they are more than just a boyband, they’re my everything. And Zayn being out doesn’t change shit. Doesn’t change how much I love them, doesn’t change my reactions to their vídeos, music and others. And, doesn’t change the memories. Because the memories can fade away with time, and pherheaps death, but these, oh man these are here to saty. In my heart at least. I’ll have those memories with me forever. And even the not-so-good ones. And yes, I know I cried when he left, I begged him to stay, I got confused and mad and thought it was over. But they proved me it wasn’t. That just shows me how string they are. They’re such role models. I love them so much holy fuck.

But yeah, it has to end one day, the memories will stay, but they won’t, at least forever. I’m hoping that day is far from now, and I bet all my directioners family do too. But we have to accept it.

Another reminder here: it weren’t the poster I still have in my walls today, not the fan arts, not the merch. It was ou, only you and your beautiful way of being, and also the way you’d put that into your music. Amazing. Damn.

I realize that I love you so much at random times. That’s one of the reasons why I started writting this while I should probably be slepping.

I didn’t said everything, but..I guess you can’t say really everything that goes on yoir min dor heart right? And besides, things are more fun if something is left to say. Or maybe it just wasn’t needed.

For now, I just want to tell you that I love you, so much, with every inch of my heart. I’ll be here for you, just like you were for me. Till the very end. Doesn’t matter if it’s tomorrow (wich I hope not) or in 15 years from now. Directioner forever wans’t it? The promisse I made for you, with my heart. My love for you is forever. Directioner forever, love you fucking lot’s.