BACK OF A LIBRARY BACK OF A LIBRARY
This happens sometime after the apocalypse that wasn’t.
The indefinable smell of books fills his lungs, dust motes almost sparkling in the quiet air. The atmosphere is quiet and peaceful- a welcome respite to the clamour in his head. Crowley doesn’t normally visit the library but Aziraphale had left a note to say that’s where he would be. So, needs must, he supposes grudgingly.
He stalks through the shelves, quiet as night and a face like thunder, only brightening by the barest margin when he spots Aziraphale.
Sunlight is streaming in through the large window at Aziraphale’s back, bathing him in a warm glow that brightens his white blond hair, giving the illusion of a halo. The Angel’s nose is buried in a book with a few laying haphazardly around him, one precariously close to the edge of the table. Crowley’s heart warms at the sight.
He lowers himself unceremoniously into the chair opposite Aziraphale, heaving a very put upon sigh and -with an almost dramatic flair- lowers his head onto his crossed arms. All the while staring at Aziraphale.
For a moment Aziraphale makes no move to acknowledge Crowley, besides the barest of smiles tugging at the corners of his mouth. After another exaggerated sigh from Crowley, Aziraphale puts down his book and bestows Crowley with such a look of affection and delight, Crowley can hardly bare to keep looking.
“I didn’t expect you to join me, my dear,” Aziraphale says fondly as his smile brightens, “Not that I’m complaining of course.”
Crowley merely shrugs, unsure of how to respond. A small part of him wishing to flee from the Angel’s kindness. The other, larger part of him craving it like a snake to the sun.
Aziraphale frowns and leans forward in his seat, “My dearest, are you quite alright?”
Before the supposed end of the world, Crowley would have shrugged his concern off with a scoff, claiming everything was fine. Before he wouldn’t have let his mood show in the first place. That was then. This is now. The Crowley now, the Crowley sitting across from Aziraphale, wants to share, wants to bare his tattered soul to the Angel. But change can be difficult.
“‘s nothing,” Crowley replies quietly.
Without another word, Aziraphale gets up from his chair and manoeuvres it to be beside Crowley and sits, turning his body towards him.
“It’s okay if you don’t want to tell me-”
“Crowley, it’s okay. You can tell me whenever you wish,” Aziraphale murmurs softly, cutting short Crowley’s denial.
It’s not that he doesn’t want to tell Aziraphale what’s wrong, it’s just how to quantify everything he’s feeling, how to express the din in his head in a way that would make sense. And the fact that Aziraphale gets that, gets him, makes Crowley want to curl up by the Angel’s side and not move for an hour, maybe two, perhaps a full week.
“Well, I still have quite a few chapters to get through,” Aziraphale announces apropos of nothing and reaches across the desk to retrieve the book he had laid aside, “Do you mind terribly waiting until I’m finished, my love?”
Crowley’s heart gives a little flutter at the pet name and offers another shrug, “‘s fine, Angel.”
Aziraphale beams at him, opens his book with one hand, while the other reaches over and threads through Crowley’s hair. The tense hold Crowley had on his body suddenly disippates. He almost melts against the table at the gentle, reverent touch. Crowley lets his eyes flutter shut as he basks in the affection from Aziraphale and the warmth from the sunlight through the window. He realises belated that his head is finally quiet. And his Angel is the cause. With a small smile, he presses into Aziraphale’s hand almost as a demand for more and thinks, libraries aren’t so bad after all.