#alan conley

Although they had arrived at the Hammersmith Apollo in high spirits, relieved to have the first show out of the way and excited for their second show back together, both Ant and Dec were feeling decidedly stressed and a bit put out by the time the second act of the day was beginning to rehearse. Ant was managing to go with the flow a bit better than Dec; Ant had always been rather more laid back when it came to things like this – Dec had often said in the past that he had to worry for the both of them, since Ant would just dismiss any issues with the old adage that everything would be "all right." So while Ant was feeling slightly annoyed at all of the day's disruptions (it was still only 11:30am), Dec was in a right strop already, complaining about anything and everything. It was a bit reassuring, really, Ant mused, to see this other side of Dec for once, as it showed that Dec hadn't actually changed that much while he'd been away. While Ant had been off work last year, Dec had never once mentioned frustrations or annoyances connected with their job – and Ant supposed there must have been many – instead focusing solely on their relationship and being a strong shoulder to lean on for Ant. So Ant hadn't been exposed to a stressed, rather prickly Dec for quite some time. And to be honest, he'd forgotten just how annoying Dec could be when he was like this – even the slightest thing could set him off on a rant again, just like the one he was in the middle of right now.

"It makes no sense, though, does it!" Dec groused, eyebrows raised as he took in the latest changes to the day's rehearsals order. "I mean, it's gonna take ages to change the sets between those two acts. What are we supposed to do? We might as well have stayed home today – why bother coming to rehearsals if we're not actually going to rehearse anything, just sit around all day waiting for everyone else to sort their s*** out!" Dec was gesturing wildly by the end of his latest tirade, his exasperation at the day's poor management more than obvious in the shrill tone of his voice. Ant let out a sigh. "Declan." That one word held an accommodating ring to it, but there was a deep undertone of annoyance that was impossible to ignore.

"What? It's true!" Dec insisted stubbornly, continuing, "I sometimes wonder why they even bother having us here – they never listen to a word we say!" Ant rolled his eyes. Now Dec was just getting petty. The BGT team were always willing to listen to Ant and Dec's suggestions, and would take them on board sometimes. But today, Dec's grand plan for efficiently rearranging the schedule had been shot down immediately by a new member of the team who seemed to find it outrageous that the presenters would think they should have any input on how rehearsals were run. To be fair, that lack of respect was what had set Dec off in the first place. He felt very strongly that he and Ant were an integral part of the team and that their thoughts and opinions should, at the very least, be considered. And honestly, Dec's plan for rearranging the schedule had made a lot more sense than the one that had ultimately been decided upon. But now he was just using it as an excuse to complain about everything, annoyance filling his mind, dark storm clouds brewing as he got closer and closer to snapping at someone (other than Ant).

The Vardanyen Brothers were about to begin rehearsing their act, and that fact clearly wasn't helping Dec to calm down at all. In fact, Ant could see the anger dissipating a bit and being replaced by anxiety. He knew how much Dec hated these dangerous acts – he always said how stressful they were to watch – and it looked like this one was going to be pretty crazy. It had been one thing with the Giang Brothers last year, who balanced on each other's head, but it was quite another to see two men placing swords in their mouths and trying to remain in perfect balance with each other, one upside down. Ant himself had a tight knot of nervousness in his stomach as he watched the two men practice their routine. Feeling smallish hands clutch at his arm, Ant turned slightly to see Dec watching the brothers with wide eyes, tension obvious in his face as he met Ant's gaze for a brief moment before his eyes were drawn inextricably back to the two men on stage. Gasps escaped Ant and Dec and the rest of the crew as one of the men abruptly lost his balance and fell to the floor, landing with a sickening thud. Dec's hands were now gripping Ant's arm so hard that it hurt, all color drained from his face as he and Ant watched the paramedics rush onto the stage to check on the fallen man. Blowing out a tense breath, Ant chanced a glance at his pallid friend, trying to reassure him, "I'm sure he's fine, Deccy, it can't have been the first time that's happened to them," patting his hand soothingly.

After a few tense moments, the man was helped up off the floor by his brother, and after another quick once-over by the paramedics, the two brothers resumed their routine, albeit a bit more carefully this time. Ant relaxed as it became evident that no major harm had been done; Dec's nerves were shot, however, his already high stress level having gone through the roof with that rather scary interruption amid an otherwise seamless performance. Ant watched as Dec reached for his strongly caffeinated tea, taking a long gulp as his eyes remained fixed on the two men on stage. And just like that, Ant found himself wondering what Dec had been like during last year's live shows. He knew how stressed Dec had been over the past year – how could he not be with that level of pressure resting on his shoulders – and he also knew that stress could make Dec tetchy at the best of times, and downright bad-tempered at the worst. Sort of like right now, to be honest.

Finally tearing his gaze away from the Vardanyen Brothers, Dec caught Ant staring at him. "What?" Dec questioned sharply, as Ant just shook his head and sighed, "Nothing, Declan. Come on, we're needed on stage soon." Ant knew better than to further irritate Dec when he was like this. It was just playing with fire, really. He knew Dec's bad mood wouldn't last forever, it was just a matter of keeping his friend's temper in check until the fire in his belly cooled down a bit. Ant was always pretty good at diffusing situations with a quiet word or a touch on Dec's arm – he was really the only one who could successfully snap Dec out of a mood like this. And Ant was always the one who got moaned at when things went wrong, even if it wasn't his fault – it had always been that way, even back in their PJ and Duncan days. But Ant didn't mind, really; this was a side to Dec that he was more than used to after 30 years of friendship, and he actually sort of enjoyed the challenge of keeping him in check.

Oh, great. That new team member was headed over to them again...And was that a smirk on his face?! Ant stepped a bit closer to Dec, the tension in the air palpable as the two men locked eyes. "Hey, Mr. Presenter-with-a-Plan," the cocky voice rang out, "Time to do some work instead of just sitting around drinking tea and telling us how to do our jobs!" Dec had frozen the moment the impudent young man started talking to him, and now there was rage radiating from his every pore. He was a tinderbox, ready to explode but trying really hard to keep his cool, knowing he really shouldn't blow up at the crew. Ant, however, was now furious. No one talked to his friend like that – Dec was the hardest working guy he knew and what the young man had said was beyond disrespectful. His stride purposeful, Ant stepped in front of Dec with a soft, calming touch to his shoulder – essentially saying, "I've got this" – and stood toe to toe with the cocky newcomer. Adam, apparently, according to his name tag.

"You can bloody well keep your mouth shut if you're going to talk to Dec like that!" Ant's voice was wrathful, his posture threatening, causing Adam to shrink backwards slightly, although keeping the smirk on his face. "Oh, standing up for your lazy little friend, are you? Pint size can't speak for herself?" Adam sniggered – he stood at a height of 6'3", towering over both boys, and thought it was hilarious how tiny, and – to his mind – unmanly Dec was in particular.

"Right. That's enough!!" Ant held back the roar that wanted to come out, instead speaking firmly but loudly enough to be heard by the entire room, furiously glaring at the brazenly insubordinate man in front of him who was at least 15 years their junior. "Apologize now or You. Are. Fired."

Mouth falling open in shock, Adam did an excellent imitation of a fish – his mouth opening and closing several times, no sound coming out – that had Dec in fits of giggles. To be honest, he was quite enjoying the show, even though he was the subject of the man's attack and was righteously outraged himself. People had no idea how hard he and Ant worked, the incredibly long hours they put in to make sure every single one of their shows was as perfect as possible. They worked hard, all the way from the formative stages of the shows through to eventually presenting them live. So Adam's flippant dismissal of their work ethic was deeply unfair, and both men had more than enough reason to be affronted. Not to mention the fact that he had just thoroughly insulted Dec.

"But...You can't fire me! You're not my boss," Adam pleaded, eyes comically wide as he realized what a fool he had been to pick a fight with two national treasures. Dec was still sniggering behind Ant, who now turned back to look at him, secretly sharing an amused grin about the young man he'd reduced to a quivering pile of jelly in front of them.

Alan Conley, the floor manager, had been standing off to the side, watching on in case things got out of hand. He knew Ant and Dec were consummate professionals and would never do anything stupid, but could and would pick their own fights and win them, too. Now he stepped forward into Adam's line of vision: "You bet they can fire you! So if I were you, I'd apologize right quick and let them get on with their job," Alan stated strongly, eyes fixed on the cowering young man.

"Yes, sir," came the meek reply, before, "I'm sorry, I apologize...Please don't fire me?" His eyes still the size of large saucers, Adam's face was a picture, no longer cocky and loaded with fiery disrespect. Dec stepped up alongside Ant, and the two of them shared a look, pretending to think really hard. Before they could reply, Alan broke in again, deciding to have a bit of fun with this.

"Anything you need, boys? Like a refill on your drinks or anything?" Alan questioned, his voice holding a hint of amusement despite his best attempt to look and sound completely serious. Catching on, the boys shared another glance before Dec piped up, "Actually, Alan, now that you mention it, I am feeling a bit peckish. I could go for a jam donut. How 'bout you, Ant?" Greatly enjoying this, Dec's previous foul mood had lifted, being replaced by a cheeky light-heartedness as they played with their stupefied prey.

"Erm, I'll get a latte, thanks," Ant replied, eyes gleaming with mischief. Adam was just standing there, a befuddled expression on his face, not quite following where they were going with this.

"Go on, then, you heard them!" Alan ordered, eyes glittering with suppressed mirth and a tiny bit of a dare, as Adam's mouth fell open once again as he finally understood what was going on. "But...But I'm an associate producer! That's what the runners are for! You can't make me do that! I've got an important job to do!"

"Are you saying the runners don't have an important job?" Ant entered the fray again, voice taking on a dangerous quality. "The runners are every bit as important as the executive producers. Maybe you should learn some work ethic and respect and do as you're told."

Eyes flashing with defiance, Adam stuck his chin up in the air proudly. "Or what?"

"Or," Dec retorted icily, "You can find work elsewhere."

Knowing he'd been defeated, Adam glared at Ant and Dec, before pivoting on his heel and storming off in the direction of the Hammersmith Apollo's café. Once he was out of sight, Ant and Dec shared a sideways glance before bursting into hysterics, having to cling onto each other to stay upright they were laughing so hard. Alan joined in, clapping both boys on the shoulder before being pulled away by a crew member with a question about one of the props for the next act.

"That was the most fun I've had in ages," Dec wheezed, finally getting his breath back as he wiped tears of laughter away. He grinned as he looked at Ant, who was still shaking with laughter beside him as he remembered Adam's scandalized face at being reduced to a runner. "He asked for it!" Ant finally responded, a tiny bit of rage creeping back into his eyes as he remembered the young man's utter lack of respect for his friend.

Sidling back up to Ant, Dec fluttered his eyelashes at him flirtatiously, teasing, "I like it when you fight for me, makes me feel all important." Snorting, Ant grinned and shook his head at his absurd friend, who was now sticking his tongue out at him. Making a grab for his tongue, Ant burst out laughing when Dec snatched his hand and tickled his palm with his tongue, wiggling his eyebrows at him. "You dirty Declan, you!" Ant burst out in mock disgust, wiping his hand on his jeans before they both fell against each other in fits of giggles again.