#akatsuki fluff

Kisame

Kisame liked the idea from the beginning.

As soon as he gets to the beach he goes straight to the water.

Likes to surf.

And it's really good at it.

He doesn't wear sunscreen.

He spends practically all day in the water.

He just goes out to pull someone out to sea with him.

Or to buy some ice cream.

He randomly comes out of the water sometimes and brings a very nice shell or rock and gives it to someone.

He tries to pull Itachi out to sea with him just to provoke him.

Kisame would come out of the water in the afternoon to watch the sun go down.

While drinking something refreshing, like coconut water or a drink.

That man was so comfortable.

It upsets him to have to leave the beach.

The next day he is locked in his room, sunburnt.

He doesn't want to go out for  doesn't have to overhear Itachi saying "I told you" for refusing to apply sunscreen.

Still, he really liked his day at the beach and would do it all over again.

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Kakuzu

He didn't want to come.

Like, beach is just a warm place with salt water and sand, what's fun about that? That's what he thinks.

He is really in a bad mood.

He can't even cool off in the sea because he can't swim due to his stitched up body.

He tries to relax sitting in the shade of the parasol while reading a book.

But any noise bothers him.

And a beach with Deidara, Hidan and Tobi is sure to be noisy.

He eventually decides to walk to the edge of the sea away from the group while checking his bingo book.

Was that or kill those three.

In the end, when he is well away from the group he manages to enjoy the beach a little.

He sits near some palm trees.

The waves gently lap at him feet in a relaxing manner.

And finally the silence that he loves so much.

He would only reappear in the group in the evening, when started to cool down.

He is not sad that he has to leave.

And he would never admit that he enjoyed the quiet moments he spent alone.

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Tobi/Obito

Ever since he learned that him be going to the beach he has been extremely anxious.

He is wearing those bathing suits that cover the whole body, like surfers do.

But he doesn't surf.

Yes, he is wearing the mask even on the beach.

Doesn't stop at any moment.

He would go into the sea to jump the waves and end up falling as soon as they took their eyes off him.

Then he would get up as if nothing had happened.

He has been bothering Deidara since they arrived.

"Wow Deidara-senpai, I didn't know your abdomen was so defined" - would be just one of the comments he make to tease the blond.

Tobi is a good boy, so he put sunscreen on the parts that his suit doesn't cover.

Takes too much ice cream and ends up freezing his brain.

He would not want to leave the beach.

Would only do it when it was getting dark.

Definitely a happy child enjoying his day at the beach.

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Hidan

For Akatsuki to be able to go to a beach it would have to be isolated.

And well, I'm saying this because Hidan was responsible for offering Jashin anyone who showed up bothering.

He's a narcissist and made a point of getting a swimsuit that didn't cover too much and value his ass.

At first, he avoids getting into the water because he doesn't want to get his hair wet.

But when he enters the sea it's scary to see how he spends hours underwater since he can't die by drowning.

Enjoys bothering Kakuzu... as usual.

He purposely wets Deidara's hair.

Hidan wasn't worried about sunscreen.

After all, he's immortal, what difference does it make?

What no one knows is that he ended up going through the fear of losing the pale shade he likes so much.

He has who brought the alcohol.

He keeps drinking and bothering others with silly pranks.

Leave the beach at the end of the sunset already drunk.

He found the day at the beach fun.

After all he didn't have to work and spent all day drinking and making fun of the members, why would he complain?

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Zetsu

He likes sunbathe.

Obviously him don't wear sunscreen, because he don't need it.

Would avoid going into the sea because of the salt water.

White Zetsu wants to make a sand castle.

But doesn't work out too well because black Zetsu refuses.

He likes to drink a lot of water.

Zetsu purposely walks away from the group.

He likes to be alone and it is no surprise to anyone.

He finds the sound of the sea very relaxing.

White Zetsu wants to take the little shells he finds home.

Black Zetsu wants to eat the crabs he finds.

At some point he would end up sleeping.

Would only wake up when the sun started to set.

And then finally would return to the group to leave.

White Zetsu really enjoyed the day at the beach and think was relaxing.

Black Zetsu didn't think it was bad, but he wouldn't admit it and would say it was a waste of time.

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Deidara

“Finally a rest day” - that's what he thought, until he saw how Tobi can be even more irritating on the beach.

The beach is a very inspiring place for an artist.

So Deidara is trying not to waste all his explosive clay on Tobi.

He wants to tan, not burn, so he put on sunscreen.

Deidara knows and likes to surf.

And he's annoyed that Kisame is better than him at this.

He was avoiding going into the sea until Hidan wet his hair.

His bathing suit is the prettiest.

This boy has style.

He would retreat at some point to make sand castles without being seen.

Prefer to eat slushies.

Would want to compete with Itachi on something.

And would say he cheated when he lost and walk away from the group.

Collect shells <3

He tries to sunbathe, but Deidara is the kind of person who can't sit still.

So it's useless.

The sunset is art for him, after all it is temporary.

Appears out of nowhere in the group when they are leaving.

At the end of the day he's sulking.

Because the day at the beach was not what he expected.

… But he liked it.

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Itachi

To be honest, he doesn't really like the beach.

Like, he can't deny the place is beautiful, but what is he going to do here?

He ends up sitting in the shade of the parasol watching others have fun.

Most of the shells Kisame brings from the water are for him.

He obviously use  sunscreen.

And brought it, in case anyone forgot.

In fact, the bag with everything needed for a day at the beach is his.

He doesn't really like the idea of ​​going into the sea.

The most he'd do is get his feet wet because it's relaxing.

He's the one who bought Kisame's ice cream while he was getting out of the water.

He's not paying attention to Deidara's taunts.

And he made no effort to beat him.

He likes the sound of the sea.

Take the opportunity to rest for a while.

He ends up getting so relaxed and quiet you could swear he's sleeping sitting up.

Itachi finds the sunset a bit melancholy but beautiful.

Is eager to return to the group's hideout.

The next day he know that Kisame doesn't want to leave his room because he's sunburned.

He didn't think the day at the beach was all bad, but he would have preferred to go somewhere else.

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Pein

Honestly, he only accepted all this because of Konan.

Doesn't like warm places, so the beach is not his favorite place.

He came just to make sure that nothing bad would happened.

He refers to Hidan, Deidara and Tobi in the same place for more than 5 minutes.

And he doesn't want anyone to bother Konan either.

Konan who reminded him to wear sunscreen.

Pain likes to eat watermelon when he is at the beach, is refreshing.

He won't go into the sea, don't even try.

Doesn't like ice cream very much.

He doesn't really like sweets in general, they make him thirsty.

He notices when someone moves away.

Being honest, he is just waiting for the day to end.

He understands why they think sunsets are beautiful, him thought too when he saw how Konan admired the sky.

Pein makes sure that everyone is present as they come back.

Tobi tests his patience by refusing to return "so soon".

He understands that a rest is necessary... But for him it was just a wasted day.

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Konan

She was who gave the idea to go to the beach.

Konan likes to sunbathe, even though she's very pale.

Hoped that this day would be at least a little relaxing for Pain.

Konan would read a book in the shade while listening to the sound of the waves.

Likes to drink refreshing drinks, eat scratch cards, eat watermelon, etc.

She is enjoying the moment.

Would go into the sea to cool off a bit, but she would be quick.

Konan is very stylish, so her bikini makes her look radiant.

She really wants to play in the sand for a while.

But as we know she is shy, and ends up being embarrassed.

Didn't approve of the idea that Hidan could kill anyone who came along.

But her understand why Pein thinks it's necessary.

She loves the different shades that appear in the sky as the sun goes down.

Left the beach a little reluctantly.

She who manages to convince Tobi to leave.

Konan liked her day at the beach but wishes she had enjoyed it more.

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Sasori

He wonders why he had to come along.

Like, there's nothing for him to enjoy on the beach.

Not that he can't go into the sea, but he's a puppet, the job he'd take to get the water out of his body.

Not to mention that salt water can wear out his body.

Definitely out of the question.

The only problem is that all that sand and hot sun just reminds him more and more of his old village.

He doesn't have a problem with the heat at all, he actually likes it.

He would try to distract himself by looking for pretty rocks.

Kisame would notice and bring some for him.

He'd be so focused on this that he wouldn't realize he'd ended up walking away from the group.

He ended up getting wet when he picked up a rock too close to the sea and a wave came to meet him.

He returns to the group grumpy after that.

Sasori lies down waiting for the sun to dry him and ends up sleeping.

Hidan and Deidara bury him in the sand.

He hasn't seen the sunset and is just grumpy wanting to go back to hiding.

But he is taking the rocks he found with him.

He doesn't want to repeat the experience.

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Sorry for any typos;

Buy me a coffee?

Pulling your tights over your prosthetic, you can’t help but stare at the dress hanging on your bedroom door.

You probably should have picked a different one. One big enough to fit a kevlar west under it. But it had caught your eye, the moss-green color reminding you of Kakuzu’s eyes, and you couldn’t walk past it.

There’s a knock on the door and you pull your dressing gown a little tighter, walking over to open it.”

Iruka, your guard of the day, is smiling back at you. “You’ve got a visitor. I told him you were getting ready but he wanted to come in anyway.”

“Who is it?”

“It’s me,” Kakuzu interrupts from behind him. “We need to talk.”

You roll your eyes. “Let him in. He’s got no weapon on him, or anything?”

“I checked,” Iruka confirms and steps to the side. 

Kakuzu barges past him, shoulders pulled back. He looks gorgeous in his suit.

“Did you put them onto it?” He asks, annoyed. “Everyone’s checking me for weapons.”

“Well, yeah,” you say, walking back to your bed to get your jewelry. “I thought you’d agree with that. They’re doing their work.”

He squints at you. “But they’re patting me down every single time.”

You smile innocently. “And you don’t like that?”

His face is caught between being flustered and throwing a fit. He calms after a second, mustering you. “You sure about this?”

You shrug. “No. But that doesn’t mean I won’t do it.”

“Look, you don’t have to-””

“No,” you disagree, leaving your necklace behind to move towards him instead. “No, I want to get this over with. We’ve got Orochimaru, Kakuzu, we got him!” You take a deep breath, look at the dress again. “Yes, we still need to get through a few more hearings, but can Danzo be worse than Orochimaru? I don’t think so. And I don’t like hiding away, like I’m scared. No one should think they can scare me.”

His mouth pulls into a thin line. “But I am scared. If something happens to you-.”

You dare to step a little closer, put your hands on his chest. “I don’t know if you’re aware, but that makes you sound like you care.”

Kakuzu doesn’t hesitate. His grip is tight, his chest warm against your cheek. You can hear his heartbeat, steadfast and reliable. 

“I do care,” he promises. It’s unnecessary, really. You’ve seen it in the way he talks, in the way he takes care of you. But it feels so good to finally hear it.

“Good,” you reply quietly, grab a fistful of his shirt and pull him in for a kiss, short and sweet. “Cause I care about you, too.”

You stay like that for a little while, chest to chest, breath mingling. Kakuzu isn’t the easiest to read, with walls as high as Jericho, but even those fell, and so do his.

-

“Are you worried?” He asks and you close your eyes to take in the rumble in his chest, the feel of his breath washing over you. 

“A little,” you admit. “I’m a perfectionist, after all.”

“We’ll do it together,” Kakuzu promises, and you wouldn’t have known without your ear pressed against it, but his heart stumbles once before picking up speed. He’s worried too. 

“I really, really like you,” you admit to the quiet room, to his reassuring touch, to the man you’ve fallen in love with over the last weeks. “Just letting you know.”

“I really, really like you too,” he admits back, his voice soft. You could have imagined it, for all it matters.

A knock at the door shatters the moment. You pull apart.

“It’s time to get ready,” Iruka points out with an apologizing smile. “Sorry.”

You nod in his direction, before stepping out of Kakuzu’s hold, frowning at the cold enveloping you immediately.

“Do you have to leave right away?” You ask, not quite managing to make your voice sound careless. “Or do you have time to help a lady into her dress?”

He laughs, gunfire style. “For you? Always.”

-

Technically, he’s not supposed to be here. Not that Kakuzu gives a shit about that kind of technicality. 

From up here, he can see you mingle with the other guests, important lawyers, politicians, their respective partners. He can see Iruka on your right, pretending to be your partner or relative for the night, just to stick close.

Kakuzu would feel better, being down there with you. He’d feel even better at home, where you’re safe and sound.

A few steps away, one of the doors to the staircase opens. 

Kakuzu recognizes the face immediately, draws back into the shadows, but his counterpart seems to be equally well informed.

“Kakuzu, right?” The Chief of the Konoha Police Department calls out to him, stepping forward, offering his hand. His grip is lethal, born from years in the service. “You’re the one thinking about dating my daughter?”

“I’d say it’s the other way around.”

The Chief’s brows rise in something like a challenge, or a threat. “Are you insinuating she’s been throwing herself at you?”

“Not at all,” he searches for you in the crowd below, feels his heartbeat slowing when he spots you, safe and sound. “But I doubt she’s ever not gotten what she wanted.”

“You might be right there,” your father grumbles, lips pulled into a thin line as he steps back. “Doesn’t mean I have to like this one bit.”

“What are you referring to?” Kakuzu asks, turning back to him just a little. His phone vibrates in his pocket with an incoming message. “The case or-”

“Both.” More grumbling. “What happened in Takigakure-”

“No need to warm up old stories,” Kakuzu presses through clenched teeth. “What’s done is done.”

“I wouldn’t let anything like that happen in Konoha.”

“I’m sure you wouldn’t,” Kakuzu agrees, though he’s sure other Chiefs would say the same, while putting money into their own pockets. He pulls his phone out, nodding to himself when he reads your message. “What made you come here anyway?” I wasn’t aware you were invited.”

It’s a low blow, he knows. It’s not going to make him any more likeable in the Chief’s eyes. Maybe that’s all he ever does, self-sabotaging his way through life. 

“I wasn’t,” the Chief jerks his head away, looking a little embarrassed. “But I couldn’t not come. We’ve all been worried sick at home. But you wouldn’t know a thing about that, I guess.”

A low blow for a low blow. Kakuzu can accept hat. 

“If that’s what you think of me,” he supplies quietly, searching the crowd despite knowing you’ve just stepped away for a bathroom break. 

His phone vibrates and the Chief opens his mouth to comment when Danzo walks in below them.

Kakuzu turns, his heartbeat spiking at the threat. 

Danzo looks like any other eighty-year-old politician he’s ever seen. But Kakuzu knows what the guy’s been doing in the past decades, and that knowledge gives him an aura of danger, of wrongness, that is hard to shake.

“I’m not done talking to you-”

“But I am,” Kakuzu concludes, stepping away from the banister. “I’m here to do a job.” He moves towards the stairs, pulling out his phone only to curse at the new message.

“Who do you think you are?”

“Good at my job,” Kakuzu lifts his phone so the Chief can read the screen. “Now, do you want to help or be in the way? I can’t be in two places at once and since Danzo is probably very familiar with you, I’m offering you the much harder task of keeping your daughter from getting into trouble.”

The Chief scoffs. “I have been doing that for ages. If she’d still be in Konoha, she wouldn’t need your help.”

“Something tells me she wouldn’t have had any problem finding trouble there as well.”

He’s quiet for a second, clearly not used to not having the upper hand in a conversation. “Are you going to stand around here any longer?” He grumbles finally. “Or are you going to do your work?”

-

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Iruka asks under his breath as you walk down the narrow hallways to the parking garage.

“Are you scared?” You whisper back, your eyes never leaving the guy in front of you. He’s tall and broad shouldered, hasn’t given you his name but his badge instead.

Even without it, you would have recognized the air of Federal Intelligence immediately. God, that arrogance.

The drive is short.

The parking garage underneath the Amegakure Police Department is deserted, the windshields of hundreds of empty cars reflecting your nervous grimace. 

It’s only when you reach the second floor and your eyes catch Kisame’s curious gaze from across the hallway, that you relax again. If he’s here, nothing will happen to you. You’re sure of that.

Soon enough, he sidles up to your group, pretending to make casual conversation.

“This is official business,” broad-shouldered FBI guy tells him off, but you lean across him and grab Kisame’s hand with a smile.

“Good to see you. I think we left Kakuzu behind. Bathroom break, you know how it is.”

“Course, course. I’ll let him know where to find you.”

You don’t get more time with him, but you suppose it’s enough. Your phone is out of reach, but at least Kakuzu will know you’re okay.  

“This way,” FBI guy points at a door, gesturing for Iruka to wait. “You can stay here.”

“Oh, no,” you turn on him with a glare. “No way in hell. He’s my bodyguard. I will go nowhere without him.”

“I have direct orders-”

“So?” You narrow your eyes at him. “It’s my safety we’re talking about. If something happens to me and you’re responsible for that, I can assure you, you’ll have to suffer the consequences. Now, he’ll stay with me, or I’ll turn around and leave.”

He grunts and humms and hahs, clearly annoyed by your unwillingness to just follow along. “Fine,” he huffs eventually. “But if someone asks, it was my idea.”

-

“I see,” Hanzo gurgles at your sight. “You brought backup.”

You fight the urge to roll your eyes. The little machine supplying him with extra oxygen via a nose cannula hisses quietly. Despite his seemingly fragile state, the Chief of Amegakure Police isn’t to be underestimated.

“I don’t want to know what Kakuzu would do if I left my bodyguard behind,” you joke, stepping toward the table and taking a seat. Iruka takes his place on your right, rigid and alert.

“Kakuzu,” Hanzo repeats the name, lets it roll of his tongue. “I am a little surprised about that. He’s made himself quite a few enemies in his lifetime. Are you sure you want to lump yourself with someone like him.”

“As of recently, I seem more talented in recruiting enemies.”

“True,” Hanzo nods. “Now, you’re not here to meet me. God knows you didn’t like spending time with me when you were little and I doubt that has changed since then.”

You grimace at the time spent accompanying your father to important business events. You hadn’t been little then, but there’s no use correcting a man this much your senior about your age.

“But don’t be mistaken. I am not doing this because I have to. I am quite fond of you.”

You tense, unsure of where this is going, as Hanzo sighs.

“Orochimaru has struck a deal with the higher ups. Most of his charges will be dropped in exchange for information on Danzo and other criminals he’s worked with.”

Your mouth dries. “And he’s free to go?”

“Oh, no,” Hanzo shakes his head. “He’ll still have to serve a few years. But there’s a nice little privat prison at the border, close to Otogakure. He won’t make any problems.”

“That’s more like a paid vacation,” you sneer impatiently. “I’ve read about that prison. That’s nowhere enough-”

“Do you want to see Danzo fall?”

You swallow. Jerk your head in what could be considered a nod. 

“Very well. Orochimaru has information about at least one murder that had been orchistrated by Danzo. The most notable victim’s name was Shisui Uchiha.”

“I remember that name,” Iruka whispers behind you. “It looked like suicide. A lot of people blamed it on Itachi.”

You remember him too. His easy laugh. His caring nature. He’d been well-known in Konoha, just as much as his friendship to his younger cousin, the two of them always sticking together, whether it was babysitting Sasuke or looking after Shisui’s parents, their health dwindling.

To have Danzo held responsible for that, finally, would be worth a lot. But is it worth letting Orochimaru off easy?

The door opens before you’ve gathered your thoughts. FBI Guy looks positively livid at the interruption, but he’s not nearly as mad as you.

“DAD?!” You stare at him. “What are you doing here?”

“Well,” he looks around. “I was trying to safe you. From what, I’m not yet sure. Hanzo,” he greets his colleague politely. “Good to see you up and running.”

Hanzo laughs, a weird, squeaking sound. 

“Well, good to have you here. I was just explaining to your daughter that Orochimaru has struck a deal. I’m sure you’ve got the details already?”

“Ah, yes, that.” Dad nods. “While I’m not exactly thrilled that he gets away with a slap on the wrist, I think it’s for the best.” He sends you a proud grin. “Haven’t told your boyfriend about it yet, though. He’s still trying to chat up the guy.”

You stand. “You left Kakuzu with Danzo?”

“It was his idea.”

“Well, did you tell him that Orochimaru had talked or did you just let him walk down there?”

“He didn’t as-”

“Oh, quit acting like a toddler,” you cut him off, mad enough that he lets you get away with it. You turn to Hanzo. “Am I right in thinking my opinion doesn’t really matter in this case?”

“Well,” Hanzo folds his hand in front of him, fiddles with the thumbs. “Yes.”

“Marvellous,” you spit out. “In that case it won’t harm anyone if I have a word with the guy, right?”

Dad calls out your name, but you send him another heated glare. “I’m not done with you yet.”

-

Kakuzu empties his glass of complementary champagne and sidles up to Danzo’s table, well aware that he’s not exactly the most unsuspecting guy.

“Could I have a word?”

Danzo’s bodyguard, a tall, redheaded guy with amber eyes, sends him a glare. 

Kakuzu tries again.

“Fuck off,” the bodyguard sneers and Kakuzu tries once more, with a little more success. Danzo notices him.

“It’s about the case,” he starts, ready to step back if needed when Danzo calls his bodyguard back “It’s okay, Fū. We can talk.” Danzo nods toward the wiry guy on his right, the dark sunglasses reflecting the room. “Torune, would you get us something to drink?”

Fū leads them to a more secluded corner of the room, half-hidden behind thick curtains. 

“You wanted to talk?” Danzo eyes him, one eye bandaged up. Kakuzu wonders what the eye looks like. He’s rumored to have had quite a few surgeries done on it, though there are no credible sources for any of those rumors. 

“Are you scared?”

Danzo laughs. “About a case? No. If you’ve made it as far as I did, you know it doesn’t come without a fair share of enviers. Some of them are just a little more creative.”

Torune reappears, two glasses in his hands, leaning in to whisper something in Danzo’s ear.

“You work for the lawyer,” Danzo points out, offering him a glass. Kakuzu takes it, careful to hold it the way Torune did. He’s not exactly scared of being poisoned in the middle of a prestigious event, but he’s not above being careful either. 

“I do,” Kakuzu agrees. “Though I’m not above switching. It all depends on the price.”

Danzo watches him quietly for a moment, before nodding and taking a sip of his drink.

"Alright. Let’s talk prices, then. Am I right in assuming you’ve gathered some information about Orochimaru as well?”

“I have,” Kakuzu agrees. “If you want that too, it will cost you extra.”

Danzo laughs, the sound without humor. “Oh, you’ll find that money is not a problem in my position.”

-

You haven’t made many visits to the Amegakure police department in your time here, and even less to the holding cells.

Still, Orochimaru seems much too comfortable for a criminal, and much too pretty for a man of his calibre.

“Visiting me?” He asks, laughing softly. “What honour.”

“You could have had this sooner,” you play along, taking a seat across the cell-door, the cheap plastic chair squeaking under your weight. “After all, you knew where I lived, didn’t you?”

“Oh, that?” He waves it off like a stubborn fly. “I apologize if Kabuto treated you a little roughly. He’s too eager sometimes.”

“Hmm,” you fold your hands atop your knees and stare at the man that had terrorized you for this long, just with his presence alone. “What are your plans for the future?”

“Plans?” He plays dumb. “Well, I’m going to prison, ain’t I?”

“I doubt that’s going to stop you.”

“Ah, well,” he shrugs. “I’m sure Kabuto will find something to keep me busy. He’s coming along, did you know? He’s very excited about it already.”

You’re both quiet for a while, testing the water, trying to read in the others eyes. 

“I probably won’t see you for a while, then,” you add finally, getting up from your chair. “Any last words?”

“Send Kakuzu my regards,” Orochimaru tells you with a smile. “And if he ever had any desire to start a family, maybe now would be a good time?”

“Oh?”

“Well,” Orochimaru sways his head left to right, as if shrugging, his hair falling like an ink-black curtain over his shoulders. “Unless you plan on tackling another criminal? Though, I don’t think you’ll find many more in business law, am I right?”

“Just the usual tax evaders,” you quip, nodding.

Still, despite this more than unusual peace offering - if it could be called that, anyway - the tension doesn’t leave your shoulders. You doubt it ever truly will.

- - -

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Itachi and Kisame

"Y/N, we're heading out." Itachi's voice cut through the relative quiet of the Akatsuki base that was carved into a nondescript cliffside.

You peered up from your work for a moment to see the pair standing near the doorway of the infirmary. After having just finished patching them up after their last mission, your face twisted into a concerned scowl as you slid from your squeaky stool onto your feet. "Wait a minute. Neither of you are in any kind of shape to be going out again," you chided, doing your best to look like you had any authority over a 6'8" sharkman weilding a sword bigger than most people and the prodigy of the Uchiha clan.

A hearty, raspy chuckle filled the room, erupting from the giant's barrel of a chest. Kisame found your concern for them to be endearing. "We'll be just fine. You're the one who patched us up, after all."

You puffed your cheeks, flustered by his flippant disregard for his own safety. With a quick adjustment of your vest, you walked over to them, the hard soles of your shoes clacking loudly across the tile floor and stopped in front of Itachi, who was nearest to you. With an expectant look, you gazed up into his dark irises. A soft chuckle escaped his lips as he realized why it was you were standing there staring at him in such an odd way. He leaned down slightly as your palms softly came to rest upon his cheeks and rested his forehead against yours, bumping the tips of your noses together while cradling your face in the same manner. "Stay safe. Come home safe," you said quietly, closing your eyes.

"I will," Itachi replied with a gentle smile. He had grown to love this little ritual that you brought to the Akatsuki from the tiny village in the cold mountains from which you hailed. It was your way of calling them family. While some of the other members found it bothersome and annoying, it filled him with a much needed sense of belonging. He lingered there for a moment, soaking in the warmth of a friendly touch before you released each other.

"And you," you began while stepping over to Kisame, sliding a small step stool away from the wall to stand on in order to actually reach. Your fingers lightly brushed across his cheeks as you bumped foreheads and brushed noses. "Stay safe. Come home safe. And make sure he doesn't get himself into trouble," you added with a smile that vanished under the large palms cupping your cheeks.

With a toothy grin and a deep laugh, Kisame assured you, "I will."

Deidara and Tobi

"Deidara, wait! We haven't said goodbye to Y/N yet!" Tobi flapped his arms wildly, trying to catch the Akatsuki's most explosive member's attention as he lingered just inside of the door that led outside.

With an exasperated huff, Deidara glanced over his shoulder, his face twisted in annoyance. "We don't have time for that crap, Tobi. We have a mission."

"But Y/N will be upset with you if you leave without saying goodbye again! Remember what happened last time? You blew up! And she had to fix you! It's because you didn't do the thing," Tobi insisted, crossing his arms.

Deidara groaned, his irritation with Tobi growing by the second. He turned completely and walked back down the hallway with him just to shut him up. "I didn't blow up because of some ridiculous superstition made up by the crazy people living in the mountains," Deidara stated flatly.

"Yes, you did!"

The echoes of their ongoing debate regarding the validity of your beloved ritual left you giggling quietly to yourself as they approached the open door of the infirmary. Looking like a terribly disinterested teenager, Deidara stepped through the doorway while rolling his eyes. "We're leaving."

Still amused at what you heard earlier, you were biting back your smile at the ridiculous face Deidara was making as you walked up to him and placed your palms on his cheeks. He mirrored your action and reluctantly touched his forehead against yours as you gave his nose a bump. "Stay safe. Come home safe." You said with a small smile as you closed your eyes.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. I will," Deidara grumbled, pretending like this was the most bothersome thing he had to endure in his life. When you released him, he walked back into the hallway. "Hurry up, Tobi, or we're going to be late for our rendezvous."

"Just a minute!" Tobi called before trotting up to you. The soft smile you had pointed at him warmed his soul. Now that Deidara was out of sight, he lifted his mask, leaving it on the top of his head as you reached up to cradle his disfigured face, not at all bothered by its appearance. You were one of the select few who knew his true identity, and one of even fewer he cared about enough to let into his world. He melted against you for a moment as your foreheads came to rest together and the tips of your noses touched.

"Stay safe. Come home safe," you breathed, feeling the warmth of his hands through his gloves as you brushed your thumb across his scarred cheek.

“You’re making me flustered,” Deidara whispers when you don’t answer and your hand immediately reaches for his cheeks to find a pretty blush there.

In the distance, you can hear the rumble of a house waking up and on the other side of the thin walls, you can hear the creaking and rattling of his comrade getting ready.

But right now, right here, you have him for yourself.

“You’re so pretty,” he whispers and you lean in even further, pressing your lips to his.

In a few hours, Deidara will be gone, leaving nothing behind but memories and shallow promises. 

You cannot tie him down, so you might as well enjoy the time you have.

-

“A room for the night,” the voice is young, male, and confident.

Suzu names the price. You can hear a bag of coins drop on the table before she’s even finished but there’s also something else, something rattling and creaking, as if he brought a machine with him.

“How many?” You ask from your place in the back, already making your way over.

The dark wood is clean where your hands find purchase, you mostly grip the wood to check, not because you have a hard time moving from one point to the other. Some paths are muscle memory already.

“Oho, aren’t you a pretty one?” 

You blink in surprise. “Excuse me?” You ask.

“Excuse my partner,” a deep, almost unsettling voice speaks. It sounds like a machine talking and a shiver’s running down your spine, “He’s easily excitable.”

“Am not, Master Sasori. And even if so, what’s so bad about that? You just don’t find any joy in the world at all!”

“Two… men, I think,” Suzu whispers from the side.

“You are correct,” the deep voice cuts her off. 

You stretch out your hand. “I’m the owner of this place. My eyes aren’t what they used to be, but I’d love to offer you a room. I’m a little particular about one rule, though, you have to shake my hand on it.”

“Like I have to be asked,” a warm hand grasps yours and pictures bloom inside your head. There’s a mouth in the middle of it, the lips closed. His skin is smooth, his muscles strong.

When you move to pull away he lifts your hand to his lips, pressing a kiss to your knuckles.

His mouth is full, his lips soft and pink, pulled into a smirk. 

But it’s not that what captures your attention but the silky strands of hair that caress your hand as he pulls away, golden like the wheat fields outside.

You swallow thickly, unable to speak as he drops your hand gently and steps back.

Before you can gather yourself, your hand is grabbed again, rather forcefully this time.

His partner's hands are cold and wooden, distinctly so. 

He drops your hand almost instantly and you’re thankful for that.

“You’re welcome to stay,” you croak out, urging to get back to your little office.

-

Warm hands move up and down your arms, pulling you against an equally warm chest.

“I’m back,” Deidara hums into your ear, his lips pressing into your skin so you can see them. “Did you miss me?”

“Maybe a little,” you offer, dragging the paintbrush over the paper one last time.

You can see his pout this time, his lips still pressed to your skin. 

“Just a little? I missed you a lot.”

“Mhm, you sure did. Came back after only… what was it, five months this time?”

He sighs. “It’s not that easy and you know that.”

“I know,” you swallow a sigh, “I know.”

“Sorry,” his hands wrap around yours, both mouths pressing kisses onto the back of your hands. “I know this isn’t how it’s supposed to be. But-”

“Don’t apologize,” you insist. It’s easier if you don’t talk about it. 

But the closer you’re getting the more it pops up.

What he does for work. How long he’s gone this time. If he’ll come back.

“I want to take you to the Onsen this time,” Deidara insists, setting the table as you prepare a private Dinner in your rooms. Sasori’s taken his usual room, hiding away for his and your privacy.

“I don’t really like the Onsen.”

“Yeah, because you’ve never been with me,” Deidara insists, eager and excited.

You want to argue against it, but he’s probably going to leave tomorrow or the day after and you don’t want to ruin the time you have with useless arguments.

And it’s nice, in a way, to float in the water with him keeping you safe. To be wrapped in his embrace, letting the warmth soak into your bones.

Your body is pressed against his, letting you see the pale skin, and find all the freckles that dust his back. You want to paint him again like you have many times before.

“Deidara?” You ask in the middle of a story about a mission - he’s vague with information but describes his bombs in great detail. “Do you ever think about marriage?”

He stills underneath you and you curse your tongue, loosened by the relaxing atmosphere.

“Sometimes, yeah,” he confesses, surprising you.

“Me too. Suzu got married two months ago.”

“Oh, how nice,” his hand rubs over your back and you’re not sure if he does it to calm you down or himself.

“Have you ever gotten… proposed to?” He asks after you’ve been silent for a while.

“No.”

You can hear the water lap against the edge of the pool, you can hear him breathe, but he doesn’t speak.

“No one wants to marry a woman who cannot see.”

When he kisses you this time it’s forceful, almost aggressive. You don’t speak about this topic again for the night, but you think he might disagree with you there.

If only he would say something about it. 

-

“Here for the week,” a voice calls out to you. You know that voice.

“Deidara?” You ask, guessing.

“Ah, you remembered me.” He sounds proud. 

You get up from behind your table but he’s already there, a warm hand on your arm.

“You’re painting?” He asks, “Can I see?”

“I sell them on the market,” you explain, “It’s not much, but it’s an extra income.”

He hums appreciatively, his hand never leaving you. Maybe he craves touch just as much as you do.

It’s the first night he comes knocking, asking if you want company. 

You wake up with your hands tangled in his hair.

You don’t cry when he leaves, don’t dare to hope when he promises he will come back again.

-

“Have you ever had something to fight for?” You ask on a day he insists on keeping you in his lap as you paint, his chin hooked over your shoulder so that he can see what you’re doing.

“I thought so,” he offers, chuckling low as you pick a certain gold shade. “Are you painting me, doll?”

“Maybe I am,” you play along, “But you didn’t? Have something to fight for, I mean?”

“I have my art,” he insists, but you can tell he’s deflecting the question. “I’ll make everyone either believe in it or die.”

“Explain it to me,” you ask, “your art. What is it like?”

You paint as he speaks.

“I think I get it,” you say, putting your paintbrush away. “Even if you want a moment to stay forever, it’s made sweeter by the knowledge that it never lasts. Like kissing you.”

“Aww,” he coos, pressing a kiss to the sensitive skin below your ear, “You’re so smart. I could never have thought of that comparison.”

-

There are stitches on his arms when he comes back. Sasori is no more.

His new partner is too curious and if not for Suzu offering herself up to distract him, you wouldn’t have any time alone with Deidara.

It ends like it always does.

No matter how many times you tell yourself to keep your heart safe, it seems to already belong to him.

He’s resting now, head in your lap as you drag your hands through his hair.

“I love you,” you promise him, “even if I don’t want to most days. I just wished you’d love me back. Loved me enough to stay with me.”

.

“Goodbye,” you say when he turns to leave, press a kiss to the back of his hand like he did when you first met, “I will not forget you.”

“I’ll come back,” he insists, voice heavy with something you can’t begin to untangle.

“No, you won’t,” you shake your head, uncaring of the tears that are collecting in your eyes, “And it’s okay. If your art is more important than me, than so be it. But here, those moments with you will live on forever. Goodbye.”

You turn before he can say anything else. He doesn’t run after you.

And you’re going to be okay, you tell yourself.

No man wants to marry the woman that can’t see. 

But at least there was one who dared to love you.

-

“Need a hand?” A voice asks and your head shoots up before your heart has fully registered it. Suzu gasps.

“Deidara?” You ask, tripping on your way out, barely catching yourself in the doorway.

“Careful, doll,” a warm hand grabs your elbow and you can feel the lips there stretch into a smile.

“You’re here?”

“For good,” he offers, voice tired, “If you’ll have me.”

Your hands find his face, bruised skin and burnt off hair. 

“Lost an arm,” he explains when your right hand finds nothing below his right shoulder, “Well, lost it again, to be exact. But servers only need one arm anyway, right?”

“Why did you come back?”

You can hear him swallow, your fingertips finding his lips just as he starts to speak.

“I was ready to die when I thought… I just thought, I’d do everything to have another moment with you. And isn’t that more important than becoming art itself, just for a moment, that comes and goes?”

“Only if you mean it.”

Deidara laughs. “Let me prove it to you.”

- - -

“Careful!” Deidara’s voice rings out. “No running in the field where we can’t see you.”

“Yes, Papa!” You can hear your daughter giggling, the sound of her feet hitting the ground as she explores her surroundings.

“How are you feeling?” Deidara’s already next to you, one warm and one cold hand on your shoulders. He’s still getting used to the prosthetic.

“I’m doing great,” you tease him, “I’m just pregnant, not disabled.”

“Very funny,” he huffs, playfully biting your nose, “do you wanna walk around a bit? The wheat’s already golden, you’ll love it.”

“I think I’ve painted enough golden pictures for a lifetime, don’t you think,” you ask, hand finding his hair without meaning to, running through your hands like golden silk.

He gasps dramatically, pressing your hand to his chest.

“Painted enough of me? Have I ever been this insulted?”

You kiss him, burn the color of his lips into your mind yet again. 

“Today,” you ask, “show me your eyes. Surely there’s something out there that compares.”

“No, he insists, “Today I’ll show you yours. Even though I doubt there’s something that compares.”

“You’ll have a lifetime to try.”

“That I do.”

“What do you wanna eat?” He asks instead. “Stir-fry? Some meat?”

“Whatever is the fastest to make,” you dig your hand into his bicep, hopping along. He wonders why you didn’t put the foot back on. Is this a test? It probably is. 

But he wants you to feel comfortable, even though the tiled floor is surely much too cold.

He’s never cooked this fast, not even when he’s hungry after training. 

You’re quiet when his back is turned, though you’re not much chattier when he looks back at you.

You’re tired, and he can’t blame you. 

He calls it an early night after Dinner, orders you to get into bed while he goes over the kitchen one last time, does the dishes by hand because he doesn’t want the noise of the dishwasher to wake you.

“Kakuzu?” He can hear you call out to him on his way to the bathroom, the hallway dark and the rain still pounding against the windows.

“Yeah?”

You’re quiet for a moment, long enough that he thinks he imagined your voice in the first place. But then he hears it again, muffled and barely there.

“Thank you.”

-

It’s a little after midnight when he checks on you again. He doesn’t mean to, but he woke up and found the lights on.

You’re sitting on the floor in the hallway, your face clammy with sweat. You don’t seem to recognize him at first when he talks to you, though you dig your hands into his bicep when he lowers himself to your height.

“Genma!” You hiss at him. “Help me up!”

“Gladly,” he rumbles, not sure who you’re confusing him with, something like jealousy bubbling up inside of him. “Where to?”

“I’m thirsty,” you tell him. “Dad moved the fridge again.”

“I can bring you something to drink.”

“No,” you box his shoulder, hard. “I don’t trust you. I’ll get it myself.”

He leads you to the kitchen, guides you to where the glasses are kept and nods along when you complain about the dishes and the rooms and everything moving every time you close your eyes.

“You should probably lay down,” he tries to reason with you when you open the fridge next. “You’re sick.”

“Boohoo,” you tell him off. “I’m hungry.”

“What do you want?”

You turn back to squint at him. “You’re not Genma,” you decide. “You’re too nice. Raido?”

“Yes,” Kakuzu decides to play along. “And you need to get back to bed.”

“Fine,” you throw yourself at him. “Carry me.”

You’re quiet as he lifts you back the way you came and he uses it to his advantage, his mind going through the few meds he has in stock. You’re running a fever, but he’s not sure how high, though your current energy levels suggest that you’re not yet in need of urgent care.

“Thank you,” your voice is sweet as he puts you down. It should have been a warning.

Your leg shoots out of nowhere, hitting him where it hurts the most.

Kakuzu goes down like a log, face pressed into the mattress as you curl up in bed, gurgling in happy laughter.

“Suits you right, Genma!” You cackle. “Don’t try to impersonate Raido ever again!”

-

You wake up with your tongue stuck to the roof of your mouth and your shirt sticking to your skin. It’s been ages since you’ve last had a fever, but you’re still familiar with the signs.

You don’t recognize the room you’re in. Your brain needs a few minutes to boot, and you spend those minutes trying to locate your prosthetic without much success.

There’s the softest knock against the door just as your memories start coming back.

“Kakuzu?”

He pushes the door open. “Feeling better?”

“I-” You stop. “Did I do something stupid in my sleep?”

“Depends what you’d call stupid,” he takes another step inside and offers you a glass of water. You’re convinced you’ve never drank anything this delicious.

“I once threw myself down the stairs in a fever dream because I was convinced my brothers took me skydiving,” you admit with a grin. “Have you seen my prosthetic?”

“How are you still alive?” Kakuzu asks dryly. “Never mind. I think you left it in the bathroom. Do you need hel-” He breaks off when you grab his arm to pull yourself up.

“I’m fine, thanks,” you send him a smile. “I need just a minute and I’ll be out of your hair.”

Kakuzu’s arm shoots out, stopping you from hopping past him like a disabled bunny. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“Freshen up,” you wobble a little as you adjust your weight. “And get back to work. The sooner I crack this case the sooner things get back to normal.”

“You’re sick,” Kakuzu points out. “You need to rest.”

“Oh,” you laugh, leaning against his arm in the hopes of him giving up. No dice. “I’m fine. My fever is usually gone after one night.”

“Stay,” Kakuzu insists, though he jerks his head to the side as if embarrassed by his own words. “There are no news yet. Where would you stay? A hotel isn’t safe and your apartment isn’t fully prepped. Your office is about as safe as any other public place and-”

“Fine,” you pat his shoulder. “I’ll stay for today, because you’ve asked so nicely.”

He pulls a face but lets you pass.

It’s only in the bathtub that your mind catches up to what he didn’t say out loud.

Right now, you’re living in limbo, a place outside of reality. You can convince yourself that everything is fine, but you’ll have to get back to it eventually.

It happens sooner than you want it too.

Your phone rings on your pillow as you slip into the clothes Kakuzu has laid out for you. Some of it is yours, washed and dried the night before, but the sweatshirt probably belonged to him. Wearing it lessens the blow of picking up.

“Hi Dad.”

“Are you allright?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Don’t mock me,” he growls. “Do you know how worried we are? Coming into work only to hear that you’ve been in a kidnapping incident?”

You sigh. “I told you not to flag my name!”

“You are my daughter, I-”

“Is Mom around?” You interrupt him before he can talk himself into an even worse fit of rage. “Because I’m sure your blood pressure is through the roof right now. I am fine. I did everything the way I was trained.”

“No you didn’t. You would have called me if you did.”

“It was late, I was safe and honestly, I just wanted to rest before I had this conversation. I haven’t even had coffee yet.”

“Where are you right now?”

“At a friend’s place. And- let me finish dad!” You get louder when he tries to interrupt you. “Former Police Force, now Private Investigator. We have Private Security outside and my apartment is being prepped so I can go back home.”

He grumbles something unintelligible.

“I know you’re worried,” you add, your voice a little softer now that he’s calmed down. “I get that. I don’t want to say I have everything under control, but I do. We’re tackling this head on. I’m going to pull myself out of the case that has the bad guys worried so bad. I can work on this from behind the scenes, give them some pointers, the likes. I won’t be in the line of fire for much longer.”

“How much longer?”

“A few days, tops. I promise.”

“When are you coming back here?”

You sigh. “Trainride has been booked for the end of the month. I’m not changing that. I need this case solved before, or at least as good as done.”

“Fine. I’ll let you talk to your mother now.” You can tell he’s not happy yet, but he’s doing his best.

“Thanks Dad. Love you.”

-

It’s weird, saying goodbye.

Kakuzu doesn’t want to let you go, now less than ever.

His mind and heart are not in sync. He knows you’ll be safe in the hands of his friends. He trusts your decisions - after a little convincing from your side - and Kakuzu knows he’ll be able to do a lot more on his own for this case, knowing you’re safe.

But it’s still almost unbearable to see you leave.

“Hey,” you turn at the door, your hand on the knob.

“Yeah?” He’s taken his perch in the doorway to the kitchen, leaning against the wall as if unable to stand on his own. It’s a tactic, really, because if he doesn’t ground himself right now, he’ll reach out and pull you in.

“I liked spending time with you,” you admit. His heart picks up speed, stumbles up the staircase and drops a few beats.

“What?” He croaks, suddenly unsure of how to act. This is unfamiliar terrain.

“When this is over,” you add, rubbing a hand over your thigh. It’s a nervous habit he’s not yet seen on you. Are you nervous right now? What for? 

“When this is over, I’d like to take you out.”

“Like on a date?” Kakuzu asks, sounding so unbelievably dumb he wants to crack his head open against the wall. 

Your lips quirk up in something like a smile. “Sure,” you tease him. “Assassination is frowned upon. I know a really good italian Restaurant I think you might like.”

He’s quiet, unable to speak. 

His mind and heart are not in sync.

A hesitant “Yes” is trying to slip out of his mouth, but his mind is locked in a panicked frenzy. He remembers the friends he had, back in Takigakure. The girl at the bakery that smiled at him everytime he got his coffee in the morning. Or the friendly neighbour that chatted to him at the mailbox.

All those friendly faces that turned away after the incident. All those smiles that vanished over night.

“Well, I’ll be going then,” you mutter somwhere in front of him. He can’t quite see you through the fog that has crept into his view.

It’s only the door clicking shut that pulls him out of his reverie, the smallest sound that breaks the spell on him.

Kakuzu’s reminded of the first time you stood on his doorstep. He knew you were trouble then.

One step, then another. The door pulls open much too easily.

You’re not quite out of his yard yet, one of Yahiko’s hired guards standing next to the open drivers door, waiting for you.

“Hey,” Kakuzu calls out, his mouth dry. You turn, your lips pulled into a half smile, like the sun peaking over the horizon in the morning. “I hate Restaurants,” he confesses. “Too expensive. You want Italian, I’m gonna make it myself.”

“Is that a promise?” You ask, grinning from one ear to the other.

“What else would it be?” Kakuzu grumbles, crossing his arms over his chest. “I’ll call you tomorrow. You better have some news for me then.”

Your grin is infectious. It crawls around his neck until he’s grinning back at you.

And yes, you have to leave now.

But he knows for sure that you’re coming back again.

- - - 

It takes Kakuzu two agonizing weeks to track Orochimaru down. 

Two weeks of late night phone calls and too much work and not enough sleep.

Most lawyers at your firm are terrified of the case, especially after what you went through. So you bring in additional help. There’s Shizune from the Konoha office, who’s acts a little wonky sometimes, but has no problem staring down the barrel of a gun - something you only know because Raido used to have a crush on her until she scared him to death. And Kurenai, who came back from maternity leave just to see those assholes fall - her own words, not yours.

Still, even with their help it’s slow going, until… until Genma calls you on a sunny Saturday afternoon.

“I have something,” he starts, which is never a good sign.

“Chlamydia or a thought?” You ask back.

“A lead. I have this friend-”

“Oh no.”

“Shut up,” he growls. “And listen, okay? Remember Anko?”

Of course you remember Anko. She’d been in Genma’s class from the day he started kindergarten and while they’ve declared themselves mortal enemies many times, you’re not the only one who’s convinced they’ll end up married. Soon.

“Sure.”

“You also know that Orochimaru used to work in Konoha. Had a little shop and stuff like that.”

“Yeah, back when he was cosplaying as an innocent civilian. What about it?”

“Back then, Anko used to work for him. Part time after school. He used to be careful back then, but she saw some things she wasn’t supposed to see. Some things he doesn’t even know she knows. She’d be willing to go up against him as a witness.”

You start scribbling down notes. “Excellent. Get her in touch with me.”

“Will do,” you can hear him grin. “But make sure nothing happens to her, okay?”

“Will do.”

-

And isn’t it a tale as old as time? 

Because it’s not his latest endeavours that break Orochimaru’s back, but the ones he started with. 

Anko is the first key, Jugo the second.

You meet him in the backroom of a fancy restaurant, one that’s typically rented out for special occasions or celebrity guests. Kakuzu sits at the table with you, dressed in an expensive suit - he’s a little distracting to say the least, but you need to keep up the appearance.

“I can’t help you with that,” Jugo starts, wringing his hands. “He’d kill me for it.”

“He surely would,” you agree, ignoring Kakuzu’s knee that’s nudging yours under the table. You’ve done this before. “But we’re offering you a way out. In cases like this we can make sure that your statement is taken in a safe place. You won’t have to face Orochimaru at all. As soon as your part is done, you’ll be taken to a different, equally safe location. Start a new life. Make friends. If you have family we can make sure they relocate with you.”

Jugo’s face falls. “I only had Kimimaru, but now that he’s dead-” He falls silent.

You give him time to gather himself, reach out over the table to offer him your hand. He stares at it, lying there on the table, palm up.

“I am not just doing this for the case,” you tell him sincerely. “Yes, I want to see Orochimaru behind bars, but I recognize that he has done good. He has taken you in, yes?”

Jugo nods. “And Kimimaru too. He said he’d help him, but his health was too-” He falls quiet again.

“You did what you thought was right. I respect that. But Orochimaru has gone too far. It’s my job to take care of that. If you don’t feel comfortable doing this, I’ll understand. I’ll still try to do my best for you. Figure out a way for you to get out of his reach. I-” You hesitate with a look toward Kakuzu. “We have a friend who owns a Community Center. He can help you too.”

Jugo nods. He hesitates for another moment before he takes your hand in his, swallowing it in his grip. He shakes it a little roughly, clearly taken aback by his own Courage.

“I’ll do it,” he promises. “For Kimimaru.”

-

It’s a little weird, this fake-date date. 

You’re dressed to the nines, knocking the breath out of him everytime you turn to face him.

But you’re also on a mission to recruit the boy sitting next to him, the boy that’s shattering the last illusion of this being real.

It will be real, Kakuzu assures himself. He’s close to catching Orochimaru, he knows. And if they’re playing their cards right, they might bring Danzo down as well.

- - -

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“Who wants to know?” He drawls out and crosses his arms over his chest. It’s still a little chilly out, spring not yet in full swing, and he’s not exactly dressed for a long chat in the open doorway.

You pull a card out from somewhere. A law firm. The paper is thick and creamy white, and your name is written in gold lettering.

“Fancy,” he mumbles.

“I know,” you answer with a mean little grin. “We only want the best. For ourselves and our customers. This is why I’m here. We’re looking for a guy that doesn’t want to be found.” 

“Business law?” Kakuzu asks instead, still eyeing your card. 

You shrug.

“This is for a friend,” you admit. “Her dick of an ex-husband went to all top lawyers before serving her the divorce papers and now she needs all the help she can get. This guy,” you tap your card in his hand. “The guy I’m looking for. He’s got some dirt on dick-guy.”

His lips tick up in something like a smile. He likes stories like that.

“I’m not cheap,” he points out.

“Neither am I.”

-

You meet up with Kakuzu at a Diner downtown. Not that you hadn’t offered to meet him at his place again, but he had firmly declined. A shame, really. You still remember the heat rolling off him.

“Focus,” you tell yourself, shaking your head as you walk the few steps to the diner's front door.

Kakuzu isn’t hard to spot. He’s tall, broad-shouldered, and wears the expression of someone ready to kill. You already like him far more than you should.

“Have you ordered already?” You ask, sliding into the booth he’s occupying. 

He nods. “Coffee.”

“Nothing to eat?” You eye the menu. “My treat.”

“This won’t take long.”

“Oh,” you smile up at him. “But I’m starving, aren’t you?”

He grumbles something. You nudge the other menu toward him.

When he picks it up, you get a chance to look at him, unobserved. There are scars on his face, elongating the curve of his mouth. You’d spotted scars on his arms too, last time, along with some tattoos. You wonder where he got them from, and how. He dresses like ex-military even though he isn’t, at least as far as you know.

“What?” His eyes shoot up to stare at you and you shrug, swallowing the silly pick-up line that sits on the tip of your tongue. “Just thinking,” you say instead. “Have you tried the Club Sandwich? Is it good?”

“It’s decent.”

“Great, I’ll take that.” 

He’d been right though. You handle the business side of things before the food even arrives at the table. 

The folder he hands you is neatly organized. You’ve got a contact number and address, a written confession, and more evidence than you could need.

“Thank you,” you tell him earnestly. “This will get my friend the money she deserves.”

“Who’s her attorney anyway?” Kakuzu asks, his eyes locked on something over your right shoulder.

“Oh, I’m doing it,” you admit. “I had to brush up on family law for that, but I’m not letting some idiot mess up my hard work.”

“What about Uchiha?” 

You blink. “What about him?”

“He’s not off the table, is he?” 

You consider it for a second. “He doesn’t handle divorces, usually.”

“He will if you ask him.”

You narrow your eyes at Kakuzu. “Are you implying I can’t handle this case?”

Something like a snort leaves him. “Didn’t you say you wanted the best of the best?”

You huff but are ultimately saved by the arrival of the food. The Club Sandwich tastes decent like Kakuzu had said, and you chew slowly as you think.

“I want to see this man bleed,” you finally admit. “I heard Uchiha has a more… gentle… approach.”

Kakuzu laughs, gunfire style. “Oh, don’t underestimate that kid. He’ll be out for blood if you need him to be.”

“Fine,” you put your hands on the table, palms up. “If you make the connection, I’ll leave it to him.”

Kakuzu’s features freeze for a second before he starts moving again. “Fine.”

-

There’s a huge gift basket sitting on his doorstep. The expensive whiskey he can see through the wrapping, but the tea, even more costly, sits underneath. There’s chocolate too, bitter and decadent, and a voucher for a massage. He stares at it for a second before putting it to the side, only to find your card underneath.

“Thank you,” you’ve written on the back. For a moment, he admires your handwriting, all neat, even letters, no fancy cursive shit. But then he shakes his head and puts the stuff away, pins the Voucher onto his fridge so he can remember to give it to Nagato instead. 

Itachi calls him a week later.

“I got a gift basket,” he explains over the phone. “From your lawyer friend.”

“Not my friend,” Kakuzu points out, hissing when his bearded dragon bites into his thumb. Spoiled little thing. “What did you get?” 

“Ah,” Itachi is silent for a second. “A very expensive tea set. You know those handmade sets that cost a fortune?”

Kakuzu blinks. “Not just tea leaves?”

“No?” Itachi asks. “Well, those too. And incense. Spices too. Did you tell her about me?”

“No,” Kakuzu feels a little out of the loop. “She must have other resources.”

“Well, tell her I said thank you,” Itachi hesitates for a second. “And I think I’ve got a case she might like.”

Kakuzu takes a deep breath. He hadn’t planned to call you up anytime soon. “Don’t you have her number?”

“I do,” Itachi’s voice is low as he answers. “But this one’s a little delicate.”

-

“Pro Bono?” You ask, the espresso cup raised to your lips. “I don’t usually work Pro Bono.”

“I get that,” Kakuzu answers. “But this one’s a delicate case.”

Your brows furrow. You’ve got nice brows, he finds. Very expressive. It’s such a stupid thing to notice.

He’d done more research on you, after Itachi’s call. He needed to know if he, they, could trust you. Daughter to a police Captain, born in Konoha, middle child, and only daughter among 4 brothers, youngest partner at your law firm. Those were the basics, things everyone could find out about you. They told him a lot, but not what he needed to know.

Like the fact that you’re an expert gift-giver - minus the massage voucher he still feels a little unsure about - or a friend to call in need.

You put your cup down, fold your hands on the table and look back at him, your mouth relaxed, your gaze firm.

“Kakuzu.”

“Yes?”

“Give me the details. I’ll look at the case.”

Kakuzu is sure Itachi could handle it on his own. Yes, it’s Business law. Yes, Tobi’s community center is on the line. But it’s Itachi Uchiha, childhood prodigy and genius of law.

You whistle low under your breath as you go through the files. “Just to make sure… Do you have a private investor you could call up? Someone… ready to invest a million right away and a little less over the next three years?”

Kakuzu hesitates. “I’d have to ask.”

“Please do,” you turn a page. “It’s not impossible to get out of this without it, but you would probably have to pay out these cockroaches and it’s better to have the money on hand right away or it gets ugly.”

Kakuzu snorts at the insult. Your eyes flicker up to him. Your lipstick is a little smudged, he notices, probably from the espresso cup. The sight does something weird to his insides.

“These are your friends, right?” You ask, tapping a painted nail against the folder, waiting for him to nod. “If they don’t have an investor, I might know someone who could help. A friend of a friend, so to say. He handles the money of some rich ass clients. He could convince them to give it up for a good cause.”

“One million?” He raises his brows. You shrug. “It’s peanuts to them.”

-

Tobi calls him a few days later.

“Who’s your friend?” He asks, sounding a little breathless. “That lawyer chick?”

“Not my friend,” Kakuzu points out before confirming your name. “What did she do now?”

“We got two million,” Tobi hiccups at the last syllable. “Two million. Just like that. Granted, we have to pay some of it back, but that’s like…” Tobi cuts himself off, takes a deep breath. “Do you have any idea what she likes? This fight isn’t over yet, but her input probably saved all of our asses. Itachi mentioned she likes gift baskets, could you-”

Kakuzu sighs. “I’ll prep the gift basket, you go back to saving the Community Center.”

“Right,” Tobi laughs a little hysterically. “Right. Don’t forget to ask Konan for input. She’s a woman, you’re not.”

Kakuzu doesn’t, at first. He wants to do this by himself. Feels a little smug slipping that stupid massage voucher inside the basket. He buys nail polish in a color he could see you wear and comes up empty with the rest. 

You drink Espresso, yes, but do you have a machine at home? Or did you just drink it to impress him in that fancy coffee shop down the street from your office?

He’s never seen you eat sweets, so he’s not too sure what to get you there. Perusing his notes gets his head back on track.

You’re into sports, an article mentions about you. Plants, too. The few pictures he finds of your office show lots of greenery. He calls up Zetsu for some plants and Hidan for a voucher for the gym. And then he bites the bullet and calls up Konan.

She listens patiently to his explanation. Kakuzu keeps it all matter-of-fact and puts all emphasis on Tobi asking him to do it, but Konan looks right through him anyway.

“So you like her,” she says when he’s finished. “What’s she like?”

Kakuzu breathes through his nose to keep his composure. 

“I don’t know,” he lies, “Like any of these young, hip, wannabe-hardass lawyers.”

Konan stays silent on the other end of the line.

“Listen, I don’t need your advice on this anyway. I’m sure the basket is fine the way it is.”

“Not if you’re regifting her own present,” Konan points out. “Didn’t you say you wanted to give it to Nagato?”

“Haven’t had the time,” he stares at the basket on his kitchen counter. “Thanks for the feedback. I’ll consider it.”

“No, you won’t.”

-

You call Kakuzu as soon as the door to your office clicks shut behind you. It had been a good idea to take the corner office, just for the privacy alone.

“Yes?”

“A gift basket? You shouldn’t have.”

“Who said it’s from me?”

“Please,” you pull open the cellophane wrapping. “I saw the nail polish. I’m pretty sure Tobi wouldn’t have put that in.”

“He would if he’d met you.”

“Is it that obvious?” You lift the small bottle out of the basket and check the color. “Nice pick, by the way.”

He doesn’t answer, but you imagine him smiling in that smug way of his. You wonder if he’s home right now, dressed in shorts and a muscle shirt like the first time you met. 

You shake your head to refocus and find a well-known envelope peaking out under a potted plant. “Really, Kakuzu?” You let disappointment color your words.

“What?” He snarls back.

“I didn’t pick you as a regifter.”

“I’m sure you need the massage more than me.”

“You could have gotten me my own voucher and we could have gone together.” You bite your tongue as soon as the words are out. Too forward, too soon. “But I’ll forgive you because of the potted plant.”

“It doesn’t like direct sunlight. Water it once a week and it will be fine.”

“I know how to keep plants alive.”

“Sure, you do.”

Silence settles in the cracks of your conversation. You’re pretty sure this is going to be the last you hear of him for a while if you don’t think of something else to say.

Your eyes wander over the other things in the basket and catch on another voucher.

“A gym voucher?”

He grunts. “There’s an article in the Sun about you. You said you like to keep fit.”

“That’s true, but-” You hesitate. “Is that gym owned by a friend of yours?”

“Maybe, why?”

You look at the design of it, remember walking past it once. “You go there too?”

“Sometimes, why?”

“Oh, nothing. Guess I might meet you there, then.”

-

Kakuzu usually visits the gym once or twice a week. He used to come by whenever he felt like it, but ever since he walked into a Hot Yoga lesson he keeps himself limited to Tuesdays and Fridays.

But he knows you work only till Lunch on Fridays, which makes it more likely for you to visit the gym that afternoon. And if he’s there too, won’t it look like he wanted to meet you again?

He’s thinking too much about it, he knows.

But he still switches up his routine the next week, surprising Hidan by coming in first thing Monday morning.

“Hey,” his friend mock-salutes him. “Don’t know why you’re here but you’re just in time to watch the new guy get his ass kicked. He’s teaching martial arts today.”

“I don’t know if I should be surprised or worried,” Kakuzu comments, taking a look around. He can’t see you anywhere. Good.

“Honestly, I don’t know either. Oh, hey, you came.” Hidan addresses someone behind Kakuzu.

“Course,” Kakuzu hears your voice. He almost freezes but catches himself at the last second.

You’re dressed comfortably in tight leggings and a top that matches your nails, smiling as if you’d been expecting him.

Hidan looks from you to him, brows furrowed, jaw slack. “You guys know each other?”

“He got me the Voucher.”

“Oh,” Hidan grins wide. “You’re the lawyer-chick, alright. Well, you helped save the Community Center, so I’m sorry, I’m considering you a friend now.”

“That’s alright,” you laugh, dodging Hidan’s attempt to hug you. “Would you mind if I warm up a little before the training starts?”

“Oh, no, not at all. Use what you need and clean it up when you’re done.”

“Will do,” you wave a little at Kakuzu before you turn away, leaving him feeling a little untethered.

“What’s your deal?” Hidan turns to him. “I have never seen you this quiet around someone since Guy brought in his white-haired creepy friend. What was his name again?”

“Kakashi,” Kakuzu bites out. “And I’m fine. Just… leave me alone. I’ll go train.”

“Alright, alright.” 

-

You’re a little too aware of Kakuzu.

Maybe you’d been hoping to meet him here, have been ever since you came here last week.

Hidan’s nice, albeit a little bit of a yapper, though you used it to your advantage.

You run a little to get your head free, checking the clock when you’ve about realized that you won’t get Kakuzu out of your head while he’s this close.

You find him on the other end of the gym, wondering if he’s trying to get some space between the two of you. If he did, he didn’t account for your stubbornness.

“Hey,” you lean against the unoccupied machine next to him. “Do you wanna come train with us?”

“No thank you,” he keeps pushing, his biceps bulging with every motion. It’s a little distracting, so you keep your eyes firmly on his face. 

Heat is rolling off him again, even from this far away.

“Not even if I ask nicely?”

He stops and stares. “Why would you ask?”

You bite the inside of your cheek. “You look like you know how to fight.”

“I don’t think that’s what you’re going to train today.”

You shrug. “Maybe not. But martial arts classes are the next best thing to getting knocked around by my brothers.”

Kakuzu steps away from the machine, relaxing his arms. He considers it for a second before getting the disinfectant.

“You look like you want to ask something,” you point out, unable to hide the proud smile.

“You’re not good at reading people then.”

“Oh, come on,” you lean into him and regret it immediately, his heat and the smell of his aftershave and sweat rolling over you. You feel a little dizzy, glad that he moves to put the disinfectant away.

Kakuzu eyes you for a second. “Why didn’t you go into the police force like your brothers?”

Surprised, you blink. Of all the questions, that’s the one you expected the least. 

“Well, I, uh,” you swallow thickly. “Five police officers in one house is kinda enough, don’t you think?”

His eyes narrow. He’s spotted the lie, you can tell.

Your left hand reaches out before you can stop it, pointer finger pressing into his right pectoral muscle. It’s firm and warm underneath your touch, but you stop yourself from thinking about that, keep your eyes on his.

“I’ll tell you my secret if you tell me yours.” Something shuts down behind his eyes and you regret your words immediately. But you can’t take them back.

Somewhere behind you, Hidan is calling your name. 

“Last chance to join us,” you try to mend the pieces but he just stares at you until you turn and leave.

-

Despite his best efforts to keep away, Kakuzu uses Hidan’s office to watch the training.

You’re not bad. He can see the impact of old-school police training - probably your father’s work - and what surely must come from rough-housing with four brothers. You’re not afraid to hurt or get hurt. But your movements soon get predictable. You use your left foot for kicks, and your right arm to dodge.

Kakuzu watches until the training is over, slips from the office into the changing room, and waits outside until you’re gone. He feels like a creep and maybe a little overwhelmed too, if he’s being honest.

He debates talking to Hidan about it, but Hidan’s Hidan. Nothing good will come out of that.

-

You need less than three weeks to deal with the fuckers that tried to sell the Community Center under Tobi’s ass. 

Tobi tells him all about it and more than once too. You’re a hero in his eyes, one wearing tailored suits and pretty nail polish.

It’s Yahiko though, who repeats your name with a thoughtful look on his face.

Kakuzu’s immediately on edge.

“Nagato,” Yahiko turns, looking for their friend.

They’d all met up at Itachi’s place for some barbecue, celebrating the start of summer, but as usual, Nagato had found a way to bring work with him.

“What?” The redhead grouses from the kitchen island where he’s glued to his tablet.

“Doesn’t that name ring a bell?”

Nagato lifts his head and stares into space for a second.

“Tuesday, she came in with that tall guy with the scared face. Baki something,” Nagato rattles down. “They need protection for their crown witnesses, three siblings.”

“Oh, right,” Yahiko nods. “Tough girl, that one. Refused protection for herself, but-”

“WHAT?!” Everyone at the table startles at his outburst.

“Sorry,” Kakuzu apologizes, biting down on the inside of his cheek. Hard. “Continue.”

Yahiko smiles a little awkwardly. “As I said, she refused protection for herself because the main target are the three siblings. They inherited their father's company, Sunagakure Oil, and they’re trying to get rid of all the shady business dealings he’s had. Nothing easy, it seems.”

Sasori blinks twice as if waking up just now. “Sunagakure Oil rings a bell. Wasn’t their owner some guy named Rasa?”

The conversation drifts after that. Kakuzu does his best to keep quiet, unnoticed, until Sasori and Deidara are fighting again and the attention is no longer on him, or you.

Only then does he get up and walk over to Nagato, who’s staring into his tablet again.

“So,” he busies himself by making tea. “About that contract.”

Nagato looks up. “What contract?”

Kakuzu presses your name through his teeth. Nagato blinks. 

“Oh, yeah. Baki thinks Gaara, the youngest, will be the main target. Your friend isn’t so sure.”

“Not my friend,” Kakuzu points out. Nagato grins. “You sure?”

-

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