i didn't mean it.
synopsis: your boyfriend says something and makes you insecure.
characters: iwaizumi, akaashi x gn!reader
warnings: angst to fluff
note/s: reuploading my old haikyuu works so don't mind me!
iwaizumi:
you were on your way to iwaizumiâs house after oikawa texted you that he was being extra mean today. you held a box of pizza in one hand, as you texted oikawa back saying that youâve gotten it under control.
once you got to his house, his mother opened the door with a relieved look on her face when she saw that it was you by the door. with a small goodluck. she sent you up to her sonâs room.
you noticed that the hallway leading to your boyfriendâs room was messy. you sighed, knowing it was a result of him being fidgety. he couldnât help it. and you can never blame him for that.
knocking twice on his room, you opened his door and saw him looking stressed by his desk. a few crumpled pieces of paper littered his floor as his head was between his hands, clenching his hair in frustration.
âhaji?â you called out, noticing the rejected letter from one of the few universities he applied to.
he didnât seem to hear you, having himself be lost in his thoughts. you closed the door quietly and set the food to the side. you carefully walked to where he was, not wanting to startle the stressed ravenette.
apparently, you werenât careful enough as his head snapped when you accidentally stepped on a piece of plastic that you didnât notice was there.
âwhat are you doing here?â his voice was straight up venom. the tone caught you off guard.
âoikawa texted me saying that you were in a bad mood.â you explained, taking a step closer to him in a means of wanting to comfort him.
âyeah well, i am. i think you should go for now.â iwaizumi said, not looking at you. you swallowed on nothing as you shook your head.
âi want to help, haji.â he scoffed. you knew it was all due to stress⌠or so you hoped.
âclearly youâre not helping around by staying here,â he retorted. your hands stilled by your sides.
âhajime, you know bottling up isnât good for you.â you reasoned out. he rolled his eyes at you.
iwaizumi couldnât help but ruffle his hair in irritation. he knew you had good intentions. you always did. but all he could think about right now is his stress and overthinking. all rational thoughts left the room by this point.
âbottling up is better than to talk with someone like you.â he didnât mean that. or, thatâs what you want to think.
âwhatâs that supposed to meanâŚ?â your voice dropped. iwaizumi turned to face you.
âi mean, come on. you always want to know whatâs going on with my life. you never let me breathe. i can think for myself. i donât need you butting in with your irrelevant opinions. you keep talking as if your opinions matter to me.â his words came tumbling down, he couldnât control it.
your eyes widened, something iwaizumi didnât notice once more. too caught up in his rage to notice how you took in his words.
you never let me breathe.
you keep talking as if your opinions matter to me.
you nodded, keeping your emotions in check. iwaizumi finally stopped with his rambling.
âi understand, haji. i should go.â iwaizumi knew he should stop you, but he didnât.
later that night, you received almost a ten page essayâs length of explanation and apologies. despite reading it and replying that it was okay, you couldnât help but feel the hollowness in your chest as his words kept replaying in your head.
by the next few days, iwaizumi acted as if nothing happened and you did the same. your boyfriend, however, noticed that there was something off. he thought of it as the aftermath of the small outburst he accidentally let out on you.
it was by the second week that he noticed that you stopped arguing with him in terms of his choices, letting him wear that god-awful plaid pants oikawa bought him so they can match, letting him choose the movie even though he knew you didnât like it.
the last straw was during your movie night. when he asked you if you wanted to eat chicken or pizza. he knew that it would trigger a response from you since youâve always fought him in favor of chicken. it was a weird quarrel over the two of you that became a routine. so, when you gave him a shrug in response, he finally couldnât let that go.
âwhatâs up with you?â iwaizumi asked as you were scrolling through your phone, staying unbothered. the time you spent on just agreeing with him made you used to just not giving his words a second thought and letting him lead the relationship. sure, you missed your old conversations but whenever you want to fight back, those words just keep circulating in your mind.
you knew it was due from his stress but you couldnât help but feel like there has always been a root to his outburst.
âwhat?â you replied, still scrolling on your phone.
âis there something bothering you?â you shook your head, boring your eyes to the same video that looped in your instagram.
iwaizumi took your phone, forcing you to talk to him.
âgive it back, haji.â you werenât thrilled to be starting an argument, or a proper conversation with him.
ânot until you tell me whatâs wrong.â he said, you sighed and raised your hands in defeat.
âif you say thereâs something wrong, then thatâs on you. i canât change what you think.â
âwhat are you talking about?â
ânothing.â iwaizumi was getting pretty fed up with the attitude you were showing him.
you knew it was petty, but you were too far to go back.
â(y/n)-â âletâs just watch the movie.â âfine.â iwaizumi gave up, sitting beside you.
âwhat do you want to watch?â he asked, turning to face you.
âyou choose.â the television was turned off.
âwhat is wrong with you. youâve been acting weird lately. first you stopped hanging around me and then you wonât even respond with your own decisions.â you sighed, not wanting to talk. in fear of accidentally breaking down.
ânow you wonât even talk to me. what is wro-â
âgod, you tell me i donât give you room to breathe and my opinions are irrelevant and now you suddenly ask me whatâs wrong.â you finally let out, tears pricking your eyes. iwaizumiâs eyes widened at your outburst.
you harshly wiped your eyes with the back of your hand, wanting nothing but to disappear so you donât have to face him staring at you with confused expressions.
âwhat do you want from me?â you bitterly laughed. iwaizumi wanted to do something, so he did the first thing he thought of and pulled you to his chest.
you resisted, trying to pry yourself out of his grip. the both of you know that you were no match for iwaizumiâs strength as he pulled you even closer every time you try to move away.
âlet me go.â your voice was muffled by his shirt. he held on tighter, wanting to erase those words he said.
âiâm sorry.â
âokay, now let me go.â he obliged a bit, letting you breathe as he pulled away from you slightly.
âi know you donât want to hear my explanation. and i know you donât want to hear a sap apology.â iwaizumi started, you nodded. willing yourself to listen to him right now.
he breathed in and out before he took a hold of your hands.
âiâm sorry for saying those words. i should have never said those things. especially when all you wanted to do was help.â you couldnât help but notice how his voice got softer as he tightly gripped your hands.
âi was really stressed and i had no right taking it out on you. your opinions matter the most to me and youâre my breather whenever it gets hard to breathe.â you couldnât help but snort at his cheesy words. he heard that sound and smiled a little, knowing you were loosening up and feeling a bit better.
âkind of corny, if you ask me, haji.â you said, he smiled at you before rolling his eyes playfully.
âwhatever, loser.â
you leaned closer and pecked his cheek as a sign of acceptance on his apology. you knew that he was genuine. knowing that hajime has a hard time showing his feelings.
he smiled before turning on the television once more.
âokay, time to watch godzilla.â âno, weâre watching (fave show)-â
ah yes, this is how it should be.
akaashi:
nothing went right in practice. bokuto was far more uncooperative, his rotation team kept missing his sets, and the other team kept reading his sets.
akaashi knows that this type of thing happens. there will never be a guarantee that you will win a match in volleyball. he knew that, but he couldn't help but think that it was his fault.
the setter is the one who touches the ball the most. the one who leads the orchestra.
it didnât help ease akaashiâs nerves that he was on the edge and has been on the edge since the past few practice matches.
âhey, akaashi! lighten up, buddy!â bokuto said, slapping akaashiâs back with force. he nodded, trying not to let his irritation show. he knew that the team is lowkey terrified when akaashi gets irritated. the last thing he wants is to drive tension between him and his team.
the rest of the practice went by smoothly, or in akaashiâs thoughts, in a very mediocre way. that âsmoothâ is just the nice term for it.
âakaashi!â this was the worst possible timing. he didnât want to see you. at least, not right now. especially when heâs in a bad mood. âdarling, what are you doing here?â
âkonoha texted me and said you werenât feeling okay, thatâs what iâm here for!â you smiled as you pulled him into a hug, not minding that he was a bit sweaty before you pulled away to talk to the managers in glee.
akaashi sighed and headed to the showers. he planned to just drop you off in your house and deal with this on his own.
but of course, you wouldnât let him. he let you hold his hand and drag him around while the both of you were on the way home.
you were happily talking about the newest episode that just released. akaashi was mindlessly listening, he wasnât ignoring you but he didnât want to deal with you as of the moment.
âright, so anyway. then an unexpected twist came like it was so unexpected! i did have my suspicions though! so, itâs all good.â akaashi was getting distracted by his thoughts, not giving you a reply instead of a mindless nod.
âakaashi!â you said loudly, startling the stressed setter.
âwill you shut up?â akaashi couldnât bite back his tongue fast enough as those words tumbled out of his mouth.
you stilled, not knowing how to respond to the outburst. you did feel like you were talking a bit too much, but you didnât know it was bothering akaashi.
âsorry.â after that, the walk home was tense. none of you knew what to say to each other.
it was when the both of you were at the doorstep when akaashi pulled you into a hug and muttered an apology while his face was buried in your hair. you nodded and pulled away before giving him a smile and pecking his cheek before you went inside.
you knew you were overreacting but his words kind of hurt. you thought back to the endless rambles that you let out on your boyfriend before slapping a palm on your forehead.
you idiot. of course he wouldnât understand. no wonder he told you to shut up.
with a sigh, you went to your room and tried to ignore his words.
akaashi was the definition of silent but deadly. he knew that his words stung. thatâs why he refrained from biting you with his words. but he wasnât able to stop himself due to the stress of his training.
you figured that heâs finally gotten tired of your rambling about any topic that comes into your mind so you forced yourself to stay quiet.
your boyfriend, almost immediately noticed. he was a powerhouseâs starting setter. heâs supposed to be perceptive in regards to his surroundings.
so, when he noticed that you werenât having your daily rambles the day after a new episode was released, he knew that you took his words into heart.
âhow was the episode last night?â akaashi asked. you were lying down on the floor while you were scrolling down your phone, checking the latest fan theories that were produced due to last night's episode.
your head perked up, ready to rant about how beautifully executed the plot twist was before you remembered who you were talking to.
it was great! the animators brought justice to the manga panel that i was waiting to get animated! then the sound effects were just woah.
there were a lot of things you wanted to say, but you settled and smiled. âit was good.â
âah, really?â akaashi asked, wanting you to delve into the topic better. you, on the other hand, said nothing and went back to fawning over how your co-fans connect the dots into the most ridiculous yet intriguing theories.
akaashi couldnât help but see how your eyes shined as you smiled, rereading a certain fanfic with your favorite character on it. you slapped a hand over your mouth as you tried to stop yourself from squealing.
âwhat are you reading?â by this point, he knew how pathetic he sounds. akaashi was too caught up with his thoughts before that he later on realized that you were his greatest distraction from his self-loathing thoughts.
your voice filled up his ears, going straight to his mind and letting him feel the serotonin that you radiated as you ranted about your favorite series.
but now, it looked as if he was begging for your attention. you looked indifferent to akaashiâs attempt at a conversation, it was petty and you knew that.
ânothing, just a work my friend sent to me.â you said, trying to focus on the words of the selection. akaashi looked down and you thought he gave up. before you knew it, you were on his lap with his arms tight around your waist.
âakaa-â
âread to me, please?â he said, you stayed quiet. he tightened his arms around your waist, placing his forehead on your nape.
âplease?â you slowly nodded your head and switched to an online book that akaashi recommended to you. you started off softly, not wanting to piss the setter off just like how you unknowingly did last time.
you finished reading a chapter before you told akaashi to let you go.
âiâm sorry, darling.â you smiled, knowing that he knew why you were quiet. he took a hold of your hand and rubbed your knuckles with his thumb in soothing circular motions.
âi was stressed and my overthinking got the better of me. i didnât mean to tell you to shut up. quite frankly, i miss your voice. i miss how you talk my ear off with your fictional crushes even though we both know iâm better-â you smacked his arm then laughed. he gave you a smile before continuing. âand i miss how your voice occupies my mind whenever iâm in too deep. i apologize for making you insecure.â
your heart fluttered at his words, akaashi has always been quite straightforward. so, with a smile, you pecked his cheek and nuzzled closer to him.
âiâm sorry for not noticing you werenât in the mood.â your voice was muffled by his chest, you felt him shake his head and pull you against him tighter.
ânonsense, my darling. that's still not an excuse for me to do that to you. now, how about we watch the new episode last night? i didnât get to watch it.â akaashi knew that you were excited as you nodded and pulled away, your eyes were shining in excitement as akaashi turned his laptop on and searched for the site.
the episode started, akaashi was asking questions to which you responded with enthusiasm making akaashi smile at your mood.
this was what he almost ruined, and he couldnât dislike himself more. but when you cuddled closer to his side and intertwined your fingers together while keeping your eyes on the series and narrating the scenes he didnât get. he vowed to never be the reason for your eyes to lose your shine.
after the episode, the two of you cuddled and just admired each other before one of you drifted to sleep, your grip on each other still tight as you succumbed into slumber.





















