Warnings: k!dn@pping, colorful language, v!0lence, exp3riment4t!on, toxic relationship
You sat across from Tamsy in a dimly lit diner. The time was around eleven pm, so not many people were outside. Less people, less attention being drawn to you and this evil, beautiful creature who was looking at you like you were a part of the menu. Not really wanting to be sliced up like some goodman gordon ramsey stakeâagainâ you minded your mouth. A little.
Before this, he let you bathe, given you looked like a walking corpse. He washed your bandages as you scraped the old blood and dirt off of your skin. You never felt more disgusting, not just from the dirt but from the absolute filth that you were in. Every time you closed your eyes you could feel your skin getting cut open again, his hands on you like a cruel reminder he was the only person whoâd ever touched you so sweetly like you were fragile, yet inflicted such pain onto you. It was hard to differentiate the difference between the blade and his touch now.
When youâd open your eyes, youâd have to check that your limbs were still attached to your body, a detached look on your face everytime you remembered the feeling of your bones being exposed to the cool air. How the pain began to feel like the only thing tethering you to reality, how it began to feel good.
Almost as good as it felt when heâd brush his fingers through your hair softly, caressing your cheek with his knuckle.
It was toxic dependence, you were thriving off of the pain and the feeling of being his ace, his angel in a sea of ground dwellers. It felt good knowing he needed you as much as you felt like you needed him.
Tamsy knew this, and he exploited your indifference about the experiments, however angry you tried to act. He refused to let anyone else have you like he did.
You picked around the food given to you; steak bites with a side of bread. Quite the miserable meal it was, the blandness staining your eyes. But here on the ground, protein like this was rare so you felt bad wasting the large sum of money Tamsy had spent on it.
Thatâs almost laughable.
You felt his eyes on you, moreso than they have been for the past peaceful twenty minutes, which was a tell-tale sign he was about to say some dummy shit to you. Silently, you prayed to spherites he wasnât going to speak to you.
âSo, howâs the dish? Is it to your liking, my dear?â
Setting down your fork, you stared at him with a deadpan expression. âitâs sublime.â
The two-toned man curtly smiled, setting his head on his hands. âSo, Iâve been meaning to ask you what ever you were doing when I found you. You do know the no man land is quite dangerous.â
Taking another bite of your steak, you looked at him bluntly like he just asked you the stupidest thing youâve ever heard. âLong story, actually not really I just donât feel like telling you.â
Tamsy looked at you with intrigue, like he didnât realize he was the most dangerous thing in that dump. âDo you have family, or a lover, perhaps?â
A tick mark appeared on your forehead as you resisted lodging your fork into his eyeball. âCan we just enjoy our cancerous cow flesh in peace?â You groaned, shoving another piece into your mouth and chewing, the lukewarm meat grinding against your teeth.
Moments of silence passed, which you were both grateful for and unnerved by. Then his smooth voice cut through the silence once more.
âYou are a uniqueââ
âI am fucking fabulous.â You cut him off, sliding your empty plate to the side.
Tamsyâs monotone expression remained neutral, probably ignoring you. âYou are a unique giver, your gift acting entirely on its own, and there is currently no known way you can die. Though, I havenât tried cutting your head off..â
You paled, slamming your fist down on the table. âFuck NO you ainât choppinâ my head. This shit is bananas. B A N A N A S.â You spelled out, a wide grin of disbelief on your face as your situation started to dawn on you. âWho kidnaps a girl in broad daylight?! Then, you take me to your bummy ass basement and chop me up like a goddamn pig, and iâm not squeamish, but i have standards Tamsy!â
He listened to your ranting without a word, almost like he cared. Which, sort of. Not really though. But Tamsy was a man willing to compromise for his favorite subject. âThen what would you like from me, angel? Iâve agreed to limit the experimentation, and Iâm not restraining you so youâre free to move around as you wish. Is there something else?â
You couldnât answer him. That was the worst part, that you couldnât truthfully say you wanted to leave him. Because you liked it. Not the experiments, that shit was ass. But the way he looked at you. How he watched you like you were worth studying. Like you were interesting.
He watches you the way someone watches a flame. Fascinated, possessive. Curious at how long itâd burn.
After that day, eating became a regular thing for you two. It wasnât always going out, and it wasnât always together, but heâd give you food at least once a day, two of he was being generous. Once he tried to make you cook, right.
You hummed a tune to yourself, watching the fire in front of you burn brighter as the dish you had been trying to make became enflamed. It wasnât on purpose of course, but one truly couldnât tell by the way you were staring at it like you were watching snow fall for the first time.
âHow did you possibly manage to do that..?â Tamsy asked, bewildered as he watched the kitchen burn. How would tokushin help in this situation? It doesnât.
You shrugged, walking over to the fridge and opening it. âDunno, i think weâll have to eat something else though, how do you feel about cereal?â
He blinked at you, his eyes flickering between the fire threatening your life and the kitchen, and at you, picking up two different boxes of cereal to decide which one sounded more appetizing before you ultimately get engulfed by flames. His eye twitched.
Finally, the smoke sensor went off the water began to spray everywhere, dampening his freshly washed hair and everything else in the room.
Tamsy was a calm man, but sometimes.. sometimes.
You looked up through the cloud of smoke and your cereal boxes. âYou say something, pretty boy?â You asked, not being able to hear his soft voice over the blaring fire alarm. You were obviously not even remotely in the same universe of giving a shit as he was, and clearly that pissed him off.
âI said, go sit down before I begin to test your regeneration speed after immolation.â
Gulp. You set down your cereal boxes, walking past an irritable Tamsy.
âiâm full of joy and whimsy. Youâre full of malice and malevolence.â You said, eating a bowl of lucky charms. Quite the nutritious meal. Tamsy found your light pouting after his scolding too cute to stay mad at you for long. Itâs not like you ruining anything, and it wasnât his kitchen.
The man almost chuckled, settling on a small smile instead. âMalice and malevolence, hm?â
Tamsy wasnât actually all the cruel to you. He gave you things, like a bed, a place to sleep that felt safe, things to do. He found you quickly got bored when you werenât doing something. To his credit, he often taught you techniques to practice. Fighting and such, but you were quick to master it given your previous experience. If it werenât for his gift, youâd probably win in a fight. Not probably, would. Tamsy knew this, and he liked it. He thought your strength was admirable, and paired with your power, he could carve you into something dangerous.
But you needed work, for instance, you couldnât sit still for one goddamn second. He gave you games, fidget toys, books, you always wanted more. He knew you wanted to leave, to get out and explore. You had pleaded with him more than once.
âTamsyyyyy câmon jusâ once? âm bored, I wanta go somewhere, your crib smells!â
He paused what he was doing, letting out a long sigh. â(Y/N), I took you to that playground a few days ago, didnât I?â
You furrowed your brows. âIâm not a kid, and maybe if you werenât in so much pain having that stick up your ass youâd wanna do shit too.â Smirking, you leaned over a table in defeat. âDonât you have a job or something to go do?â
Tamsy never answered questions about his personal life, but you were stubborn. And nosey.
You spun around in a chair, reading notes about your own experiments as Tamsy went through your blood samples.
As your eyes scanned the pages, you found one that recalled the one where he had gouged out the majority of your organs from your body. Holding back a grimace, you tried to not remember the feeling to no avail.
âThat shit sucked so bad, god, Iâd rather have fire ants crawl up my ass. Seriously.â You muttered, your words reaching the wannabe scientists who was busy at work beside you.
âWhat are you reading?â Tamsy asked, settling the files of blood and black matter from your bandages down. Using the counter, you spun yourself again as you scowled down at this notebook of his.
âJust you saying I was unstable during the little organ experiment, the fuck does that mean?â You asked with a pout, leaning your arm on the back of the chair. He was out to ruin your reputation frfr.
âYour brain waves were unstable. And you were acting irrationally.â Tamsyâs blank face never ceased to amuse you, or piss you off.
You looked at him as if asking if he was fucking serious. The guy was all up on his high horse, but letâs see how he likes being sliced open, see if he acts âirrationallyâ.
âYou must be fun at parties..â you huffed, sliding the notebook back to him so he could record the similarities between your dna and the black matter that sheds from your bandages.
He looked up from his notes, closing them swiftly. âIâd like to test something, so would you be a dear?â
You were lightly restrained on a metal table, the cold metal biting your skin. Grin straining as you watched the knife come down on you, mentally and physically preparing for the gentle pain. Gentle because it was Tamsy, and he was ever so precise with everything he did.
âWhatâs this for again?â You groaned, slouching back on the table.
âIâd like to see more of your chemical make up, and how your body reforms itself. I think it may be linked to your internalââ
âThe only problem with your theory,â You began, cutting him off. Looking up at him, your eyebrows furrow. âIs that itâs FUCKING WRONG!â
He didnât so much as blink at your complaints. Only continuing where he left off.
Watching him grab a scalpel, your mouth curving into a grin. âCut me into an X, itâll look so much cooler.â
Tamsy didnât do an X, he wasnât messy either. It always had to be clean cut, sterilized, and organized. He was silent as he worked. You, on the other hand always had something to say. Cursing, giggling, taunting. You were always making sound, up until your body would give out. Your eyes would roll to the back of your head, your limbs going limp, and your breathing stops.
1 second..2 seconds..3 seconds.
Waking up with a cold sweat, your vision slowly cleared and your eyes drifted over to him. He was cleaning a syringe, his face looking pretty and focused. Probably enjoying the peace. lol, not for long bitch.
âFuck you and your sharp tools of discomfort.â You huffed, sitting up so your legs were dangling off the table. As he wrote, you noticed something you hadnât before. His hair, usually down, was put up in some fancy updo, his blue pieces tied together and his blonde up, branching out from his face like antennas.
âWhatâs with the hair? Getting in the way of dissection, is it, doc?â Reaching up, you began swirling a piece of his hair between your fingers, the soft strand sliding through your digits.
He hummed, not making a comment about your close contact with his precious hair. âIâve taken a new job, hence my absence as of recent.â
Brows quirked, your eyes flickered to his face that was as cool as ever. His constant state of deadpan making you question what you felt so drawn to in him. Not that you were surprised he had a job, he was grown and shit. Heâd been noticeably gone, but you didnât care to ask about it. As curious as you were to this manâs after hours activity, you just assumed it was business as usual with him.
Not that he liked to tell you much.
Soon, your time spent with Tamsy was less about doctor and patient, but a real dependence. He needed you, whether he knew it or not. Your vital instrument was one of a kind, you were one of a kind. The way you spoke to him so casually, didnât fear him or hardly actually get angry with him. If nothing else, he found you interesting. And between all the tests, small talk, walks through the streets at night, Tamsy found himself wanting to keep you for himself. He didnât want anyone else to hurt you, or have you, for that matter. Tamsy caines wanted you to live under his regulations. But that wasnât the part of you that he liked. You were adventurous, outgoing, and didnât wait around for anyone else. Which is why with him, you didnât understand why you had stayed around for so long. He kept you in a dingy ass basement, cut you open, and pissed you off to no end. But soon, the banter became less about hatred and more centered around the fact that you liked talking to him and having your little arguments.
His presence, once arrogant and agitating, was noticeably absent in the past days. Maybe youâd come to enjoy his company, even a little. Without his voice to lull you, the stench of the room and the silence was more apparent. It crawled at your skin, a tingling sensation of action gnawing at you.
You sprawled out onto the mattress he had oh-so-generously gave you, picking at the flowers he set by your mattress four days ago. The withering state of them represented you, in a way. Not seeing sunlight for so long did numbers, for instance, you looked like shit. Your bones were more dense, and more visible.
Locked in this basement 24/7, you almost considering starting a podcast or something. Youâd done nothing but stretch, strength training, practice, repeat. It felt like training to be a solider. But you didnât want that, you wanted freedom. Not to be used in someoneâs grand scheme, not even if he was pretty, had gorgeous long hair, and a sexy voice.
It had been a month. Youâd adapted to the environment, to Tamsy. You only ever talked to him since youâd been here, and maybe youâd have been fine with it. But you had a life outside of here, not much of a life at all, but a life. You had a sister. One you hadnât told your captor about, not even mentioned.
It had been a month since youâd seen her, you imagined she was worried by now. Sitting in her hospital on her visitation days, waiting for a visit that never came.
Tamsyâs notebook had dates, and if they were rightâwhich youâre sure they areâit was almost March 5th. Your little sisterâs 14th birthday. One you wouldnât dare miss.
The door was, for obvious reasons, locked. Going through it would be too risky anyways, and knowing Tamsyâs sneaky ass, there was probably a catch. So you looked at the vent, too tall to reach, however, not too tall for a seven foot tall creature of the night to get to.
Layer by layer, your bandages unraveled themselves from your body, turning black in color as they detached from your skin. Not being in the sun for a month did numbers on your pigment, you noticed. Your once tanned, sun kissed skin had a greyish hue, but no scars to show for the hell youâd been through.
Your eyes began glowing, bright and neon, the electrifying color eliminating the mostly dark space around you. Ghost began to form in front of you, long limbs, faceless, a human replica. But obviously far from. Tamsy liked to refer to it as an IBM, Invisible Black Matter, Invisible to others unless its intentions are focused on them. You on the other hand called it Ajin. A nickname, but you felt like it suited your bandaged companion. It was impulsive, didnât follow orders a lot, violent, but it was everything you were. Your subconscious brain, so if you wanted it to follow an order, you had to be in tune with your subconscious. It took practice, but with enough lame ass meditation techniques Tamsy taught you, Ajin became more like a friend than a looming shadow that wanted to carve the skin off your bones.
It waited for you to jump up, grabbing onto the vent before pushing you the rest of the way up. It was dark inside, and gross. A ratâs squeaking echoed through the rustic metal, scurrying away from the soft creaking that the vents made as you army crawled through it. Your bandages returning to your body again, circling your limbs like it was just another extension of your body.
The vent was small, and you barely fit as you took lefts, right, crawled up and down. Thank fuck you werenât claustrophobic because that would suck really bad. After twenty minutes of navigation and mazing your way through the tight space like a caterpillar, you found an out. A small and dim light shining through one of the vent openings, you could already smell outside from it. Winding your fist back, you tried to get the best angle you could and punching the cover out.
It landed on the ground with a thud, and was joined by you after you swung yourself out and onto your feet. The freshâas fresh as the ground gotâair wafted into your face, smelling like new beginnings and most of all, freedom.
The vent had led out to the side of a building in an alleyway, and just inches away was the great outdoors, actual people. People besides Tamsy. After being trapped for so long, the mere concept of other people existing started to feel foreign but there they were, not many, but they were there. Normal people who didnât go home and attend to a girl in their basement.
This was your only chance to leave the basement, the pain, the experiments. He wouldnât let you have another chance if you got caught, you didnât have time to hesitate. Yet you did, because Tamsy was gentle. He soothed the explosive thoughts inside your head, the constant tingling to do more. He was patient and honest, so honest it stung sometimes. But you needed to go home, the ground was a cruel place and you couldnât hold onto the false comfort he gave you, because you were an older sister, you didnât need anyone and certainly not him. It was honestly pathetic how you clung to the idea that he might have cared for you, even just a little bit.
So you ran, you ran fast, cutting corners and hurdling over anything in the way. You ran barefoot, your only saving grace being the bandages covering your feet from the ground below. A small tank top did nothing to conceal the white wrapping around your body, your large pants were your only barrier from the leering eyes that watched you as you sped past them.
Then, inevitably, you crashed.
You went face first into something, your momentum dropping instantly as you stumbled back, falling and landing right on your ass. Cussing, you barely looked up still reeling from the lack of movement you were doing right now.
âWOAH! That looked brutal, you good?!â A loud voice coming from above asked.
Wincing, your head spun as you tried to backtrack. âSince when do wallsââ you looked up, your eyes locking with not a wall, but a dude. You almost thought it was Tamsy when you looked at his long blonde hair, but he was the opposite. Flashy red glasses, headphones around his neck, and overalls, all things Tamsy would rather die than go anywhere near. You were relieved, then realized you just bodied the fuck out of this guy.
âSo sorry my face inconvenienced your chest.â You choked out sincerely, causing him to laugh loudly.
âNo worries, my bro! Whereâre you heading so fast anyways?! Youâre like the flash!â He yelled in your face, making big movements to emphasize his words.
As you were about to respond, maybe get up, make like a tree and leave, your eyes landed on a motorcycle behind him, lighting up with an idea.
âHey, you think you could give me a ride on that thing?â
