#aishiteruze

i can't fully explain without it becoming incredibly lengthy, so i'll keep it short.

he struggles with uncontrollable rage beneath, yet manages to keep his exterior collected until provoked too far. and i admire just how he manages that, because with the way he carries himself he appears in control, and the kind of person you'd like to be around due to his friendly disposition.

i admire how he manages to be that friendly. to smile so sweetly, to protect so intensely. i don't admire the disregard for his own well-being, but i guess i see myself in him that way and at the same time i'd see a potential friendship. i ache over his way of losing himself to his pain and troubles after keeping them locked inside for so long, and i identify so much with the intense fear of opening up the frightening contents of your mind to someone, leaving your mistakes exposed.

i've been in the position of losing myself, /and/ distancing myself, hurting someone i care about in the process, and suffering from the guilt of the aftermath.

and lastly, i love that he finds salvation in a person he loves. regardless of any reciprocation.